80 year old guy arrested in Montana

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > 80 year old guy arrested in Montana

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; I'm sick of seeing animated weiners french kissing in every fucking GBS thread.

Nigmaetcetera posted:

Well, I could probably get organ transplants from the human prey version of me, and that means I could start drinking again, but on the other hand I could eat the manimal me and I would probably feel way less guilty about it. I guess it�s a toss-up. You know what, I don�t need booze, I�d be perfectly satisfied eating meat from a creature that any normal person would consider to be an abomination. Does manimal me have big horns? If so that clinches it.

it can

boutique manimal creations have come a long way thanks to people like Mr. Schubarth

# ? Mar 15, 2024 22:48

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# ? May 7, 2024 02:00

Asterite34: May 19, 2009

bollig posted:

That was my initial reation, like who cares if you splice genes or whatever. But in reading it it was the transportation of sheep and sheep parts from Kyrgystan (can bring disease to hearty american sheep) and then selling black-market semen that got him in trouble, not necessarily the weird cloning poo poo.

I will say, though, that I think you could make a credible 'slippery slope' argument here. There was this Russian doctor who advanced the field of artificial insemination in horses: Ilya Ivanov. He was a superstar and after that went to create a bunch of animal hybrids, basically mixing and matching a bunch of closely related animals. But he didn't stop there and he traveled to French Guinea where he tried to make a human chimpanzee hybrid. The government kicked him out so he went back to (now) the USSR, where a more receptive government funded his experiments. Allegedly, and this could just be internet headlines, he had told Stalin that he could make a 'Socialist man-ape superwarrior' and that his experiments were an attempt to show that god wasn't real. It did garner support from eugenicists and atheist organizations which were extremely racist even by the standards of the time, like 'well obviously gorillas should be paired with Africans, as gorillas are the darkest. Orangutans should be paired with the yellow ones'. It really blew me away, the racism. This paper: https://sci-hub.se/10.1016/j.shpsc.2008.03.004 argues that the Soviets probably actually wanted man-ape hybrids for 'rejuvination therapies' for the elite. Anyway, he couldn't find enough women who wanted to be inseminated with chimpanzee semen (he wanted to do it without telling them in Guinea) and then an orangutan died and he basically ran out of funding. He then was sentenced to a gulag b/c Stalin didn't really like scientists and he died there.

Composer of note Shostakovic toured one of his facilities and "recommended it as a sight worth seeing". He then wrote an short opera about it which was just recently recovered: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orango_(Shostakovich)

Very rarely do you find any 'good guys' in stories about animal hybrids, is my takeaway.

Vladimir Putin's Sephiroth-esque origin story

# ? Mar 15, 2024 22:53

Call Your Grandma: Jan 17, 2010

want 2 pet that sheep

# ? Mar 15, 2024 23:00

ChickenHeart: Nov 28, 2007; Take me at your own risk.; Kiss From a Hog

I can assure you that nothing good happens to any animal used by profit-minded entrepreneurs to create new "breeds/hybrids," be it through company-funded labwork or a farm-owner's dilapitated puppymill.

So yeah that guy should probably see time in the slammer.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 23:32

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

flubber nuts posted:

if anyone wants to make a hybrid with me i have tons of semen. i havent catalogued my collection in almost a decade but ive got at least 500 different kinds of semen in my semen closet. please send inquiries to flubbbernuts@gmail.com.

Sent you an email

# ? Mar 15, 2024 23:46

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Not like those pure hearted entrepreneurs doing really nice and fun things with livestock like tea parties and be immortal.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 23:50

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Khanstant posted:

Not like those pure hearted entrepreneurs doing really nice and fun things with livestock like tea parties and be immortal.

please think of the shareholders

# ? Mar 16, 2024 00:54

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Anything in service of big game trophy hunting is loving gross conspicuous consumption rich guy bullshit. Seriously, i cant name another hobby that immediately flags one as a classless loving monster.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 04:26

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Poohs Packin posted:

Anything in service of big game trophy hunting is loving gross conspicuous consumption rich guy bullshit. Seriously, i cant name another hobby that immediately flags one as a classless loving monster.

this is why i hunt little game. the littler the better. turning dust mites into dust is my passion.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 05:01

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

naem posted:

so if you successfully breed a Kzzrrcckkkiůggtda�n sheep here in �merica do you just kind of let it out the back door and a guy pays you to shoot it point blank for a few thousand then

like the guy gets dressed up in hunting clothes and poses in the back 40

Do not mock the noble Kyrgyz Republic with such misspellings they had no part in this depravity and their majestic natural resources were poached for evil purposes

# ? Mar 16, 2024 05:30

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; I'm sick of seeing animated weiners french kissing in every fucking GBS thread.

my manimal hybrids are ethically sourced

# ? Mar 16, 2024 05:32

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

bring back goonited nations the 'stans must unite, for a better world

e: probably it would be an immediate shitshow lol

SniperWoreConverse fucked around with this message at 05:38 on Mar 16, 2024

# ? Mar 16, 2024 05:32

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

bring back goonited nations the 'stans must unite, for a better world

e: probably it would be an immediate shitshow lol

I think I was the first person to post in that thread and immediately got France and I abandoned the thread instantly

# ? Mar 16, 2024 05:55

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

I tied to get like argentina or peru bc i wanted to try to build a southern hemisphere allegiance but by then choosing your own country was already denied cause idk somebody did something stupid or hosed up

# ? Mar 16, 2024 06:04

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

numberoneposter posted:

this is why i hunt little game. the littler the better. turning dust mites into dust is my passion.

I caught a fly with my hand today and whipped it at the tile floor to kill it. Felt like a giant. This is a thrill greater than paying a geriatric $4000 to shoot a frankensheep from a "glamping" tent on some private estate.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 11:34

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

bollig posted:

That was my initial reation, like who cares if you splice genes or whatever. But in reading it it was the transportation of sheep and sheep parts from Kyrgystan (can bring disease to hearty american sheep) and then selling black-market semen that got him in trouble, not necessarily the weird cloning poo poo.

I will say, though, that I think you could make a credible 'slippery slope' argument here. There was this Russian doctor who advanced the field of artificial insemination in horses: Ilya Ivanov. He was a superstar and after that went to create a bunch of animal hybrids, basically mixing and matching a bunch of closely related animals. But he didn't stop there and he traveled to French Guinea where he tried to make a human chimpanzee hybrid. The government kicked him out so he went back to (now) the USSR, where a more receptive government funded his experiments. Allegedly, and this could just be internet headlines, he had told Stalin that he could make a 'Socialist man-ape superwarrior' and that his experiments were an attempt to show that god wasn't real. It did garner support from eugenicists and atheist organizations which were extremely racist even by the standards of the time, like 'well obviously gorillas should be paired with Africans, as gorillas are the darkest. Orangutans should be paired with the yellow ones'. It really blew me away, the racism. This paper: https://sci-hub.se/10.1016/j.shpsc.2008.03.004 argues that the Soviets probably actually wanted man-ape hybrids for 'rejuvination therapies' for the elite. Anyway, he couldn't find enough women who wanted to be inseminated with chimpanzee semen (he wanted to do it without telling them in Guinea) and then an orangutan died and he basically ran out of funding. He then was sentenced to a gulag b/c Stalin didn't really like scientists and he died there.

Composer of note Shostakovic toured one of his facilities and "recommended it as a sight worth seeing". He then wrote an short opera about it which was just recently recovered: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orango_(Shostakovich)

Very rarely do you find any 'good guys' in stories about animal hybrids, is my takeaway.

I dunno about Russian eugenics programs ( :stare:

) but someone already made the Beefalo

# ? Mar 16, 2024 11:52

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

Weird, I guess the Godmonster of Indian Flats was a documentary.

What a loving weird and dumb movie. Thanks for showing me that, Rifftrax! ... I think.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 12:54

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

If I wanted to kill some genetic freak for sport I'd play single-player Russian Roulette.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 13:38

Dumb Sex-Parrot: Dec 25, 2020; Absurd Pox Term
Rad Buxom Strep

Retard Ox Bumps
Borax Dumpster

Dares Box Trump

I'm reminded of a website I found where the author had written dozens of pages on how humans actually were a hybrid between pigs and chimpanzees. He reminded me of the timecube guy. He also had a phd in microbiotics, I looked him up and everything.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 13:44

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

I'm reminded of a website I found where the author had written dozens of pages on how humans actually were a hybrid between pigs and chimpanzees. He reminded me of the timecube guy. He also had a phd in microbiotics, I looked him up and everything.

Could be a good front page

# ? Mar 16, 2024 14:18

feller: Jul 5, 2006

Carlos Lantana posted:

I imagine killing things for fun is as prevalent in jail as it is in montana
I hope someone makes his life a living hell out of sheer boedom

why do you hope for this, carlos

# ? Mar 16, 2024 16:19

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

Code Jockey posted:

what were the parts doing otherwise? if they were just going to waste this seems like an ethical choice

It's not. Because there'd be no way to prove if it was done ethically. Big game hunters would just happen to have mysterious animal parts from endangered animals to bring back if it was legal.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 17:27

bossy lady: Jul 9, 1983

million dollar idea: big game hunting but instead of killing the animal you give it a gentle kiss and get away before it mauls you to death.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 17:44

Speleothing: May 6, 2008; Spare batteries are pretty key.

bossy lady posted:

million dollar idea: big game hunting but instead of killing the animal you give it a gentle kiss and get away before it mauls you to death.

This is called counting coup

# ? Mar 16, 2024 17:53

Nigmaetcetera: Nov 17, 2004; borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

It�s not authentic coup-counting if you don�t use a ceremonial tickle-wand.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 17:58

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Laws like these are why I vote republican. :colbert:

# ? Mar 16, 2024 18:01

Prof. Crocodile: Jun 27, 2020

Luvcow posted:

please think of the shareholders

you might be surprised by how often the shareholders want sheep cum.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 18:14

Carlos Lantana: Oct 2, 2003; I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr

feller posted:

why do you hope for this, carlos

guy is a sick gently caress
guy thrill kills and associates with thrill killers
guy belongs in a fair fight for a change
hope it hurts

# ? Mar 16, 2024 18:41

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

Smugworth posted:

Sent you an email

i checked all inboxes and nothing. what kind of scam is this??

# ? Mar 16, 2024 18:53

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

I believe in rehabilative justice. Trauma doesn't teach & getting beat up in super jail is not going to solve anything.

Sentence: gene editing to be goated

# ? Mar 16, 2024 19:03

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

MrQwerty posted:

my manimal hybrids are ethically sourced

your manimal hybrids are blocking the white sands runway

# ? Mar 16, 2024 19:10

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

bossy lady posted:

million dollar idea: big game hunting but instead of killing the animal you give it a gentle kiss and get away before it mauls you to death.

Why do you think they were hunting sheep?

Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 19:19

bossy lady: Jul 9, 1983

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Why do you think they were hunting sheep?

Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep.

Those kisses are not gentle :smith:

# ? Mar 16, 2024 19:57

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Prof. Crocodile posted:

you might be surprised by how often the shareholders want sheep cum.

# ? Mar 16, 2024 20:41

Internetjack: Sep 15, 2007; oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers; Top Cop

Remember that ranch in Texas where you could pay to hunt online? Remote controlled gun from your computer. You could be anywhere on the planet and shoot an animal. They'd put out salt-licks for bait in the scope of the camera, and from your computer you could target, aim, shoot. I believe they would butcher the animal for a fee and ship you the meat.

Fortunately they were breaking about 100 laws and got shut down in months; but still... jesus christ...

# ? Mar 16, 2024 20:47

Crazypoops: Jul 17, 2017

500excf type r posted:

This makes me think my plans for a genetically modified hyper-allergenic cat, the DanderLion, might need some legal research

"Awww he's so- cough kak fftt gak knncck" fan turns and sprays fur all over walls

# ? Mar 16, 2024 20:54

Worf: Sep 12, 2017; If only Seth would love me like I love him!

I think what a man does with his mutant sheep is between him and God and Uncle Sam needs to stay out

Also I am pro life

# ? Mar 16, 2024 20:57

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; I'm sick of seeing animated weiners french kissing in every fucking GBS thread.

Mega64 posted:

genetic freak

ing to get ahold of some Steiner DNA for the ultimate manimal hybrid

# ? Mar 16, 2024 21:01

Haptical Sales Slut: Mar 15, 2010; Age 18 to 49

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Why do you think they were hunting sheep?

Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 00:53

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# ? May 7, 2024 02:00

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; I'm sick of seeing animated weiners french kissing in every fucking GBS thread.

imagine one of those giant sheep with even beefier horns, surrounded by genetic freaks, flexing its unnaturally massive peaks, while aggressively screaming gibberish at you

this is the future we strive for here at my manimal lab

# ? Mar 17, 2024 01:01

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