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Tungyn Cheque posted:Cheque's writing is razor-sharp, packed with witticisms and observations that hit a little too close to home. Fuckin' A this poo poo does hit close to home, I'm going to be thinking about this on my next trip to Fred Meyer. I feel like the absurdity of modern life has had it's mask ripped off for the first time, I'm cheek-pilled now, a tonguecel if you will.
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Mar 21, 2024 18:08
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| # ¿ May 8, 2024 10:34 |
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Its like the author assumes he is gonna make the mundane hilarious through craft and he lacks the craft Honestly this just feels like someone who was going through some old poo poo, found an old high school creative writing project they had done, and decided to go all-in on a bit.
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Mar 21, 2024 19:10
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Antivehicular posted:Dare one ask what Rectum Leviticus does for a living? IT of course, where he has to interact with clueless office drones who just don't 'get' his brand of zany genius.
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Mar 21, 2024 23:30
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Im struggling to understand why you would get an AI to market your book for you Its all part of the counterculture vibe man, squares like you just dont get it.
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Mar 22, 2024 01:03
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Tungyn Cheque posted:His final stop prior to exiting always brought stares of disbelief from fellow shoppers. Those entering and sanitizing their shopping cart handles with antibacterial wipes, made available in homage to collective mysophobia, and those exiting in a hasty and harried rush to their next task, all paused to watch R. L. as he ripped off the unnecessary cardboard boxes and other assorted packaging and threw them away. Bare and naked essentials fit better in his backpack and in his limited cabinet space at home. This passage in particular, I struggle with what the author/ai is describing. Everyone stops to stare in disbelief because Rectum is, opening packages and putting foodstuffs in his backpack? Like is he pouring a box of cereal in there and throwing the box on the ground? Ripping raw meat out of the package and throwing it in his backpack? What else would be so shocking?
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Mar 22, 2024 01:23
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lol thanks Antivehicular for the thorough dismantling of this dreck.
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Mar 22, 2024 16:40
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Tungyn Cheque posted:Nameless, faceless urban masses are a reality that Rectum Levitcus has a unique perspective on. There is zero evidence of a "unique perspective" displayed by your character in the shopping excerpt you shared. It simply reads like completely banal "I am smarter and better than all the dumb people around me" perspective that millions of teenage boys go through. Maybe by the end he realizes that these "nameless, faceless masses" are not in fact NPCs for him to feel superior to, but humans all with their own interior lives and problems? I doubt it. AcidCat fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Mar 22, 2024 |
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Mar 22, 2024 17:10
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| # ¿ May 8, 2024 10:34 |
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If he has a unique perspective then why didn't you share an excerpt that actually demonstrates that even a little bit.
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Mar 22, 2024 17:15
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