whats your chikara gimmick?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > whats your chikara gimmick?

BodyMassageMachine: Nov 24, 2006

�No Gimmicks Needed� Steve the Samurai

Edit: Couch Surfer Sting, an out of shape Sting tribute act that constantly has to crash with his tag team partners and also serves as a meta-joke about how well Chikara paid it�s guys

BodyMassageMachine fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Mar 24, 2024

# ¿ Mar 24, 2024 17:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 10, 2024 12:44

BodyMassageMachine: Nov 24, 2006

LvK posted:

oh, I wrote my own Chikara gimmick aaaages ago, I don't even remember which storyline I was lampooning! Let me see if I can find it...

Werebee by Night, an average everyday insurance salesman (by the name of Melvin Lifera) who is comically afraid and inept at everything involving wrestling (though admirably dedicated to his job, offering to sell policies to audience members) until the stroke of 9pm, at which point he forms into his powerful alter-ego: A BEE. Yes, wearing a bee costume, he enters a fugue state of which he has no recollection, utilizing his powerful Honeycomb Driver to lay flat his foes for the allmighty Stinger Splash, a move which few walk away from, but at great cost to himself. Werebee by Night wrestles aimlessly for justice, until the fiendish Ultramantis Black controls his flight patterns using the Eye of Tyr and a comically-oversized atomizer of queen bee pheromones. Duped into subservience, Werebee by Night is rescued by a cadre of 3-12 ants and allowed to rediscover who he really is. Yes, mild-mannered Melvin Lifera is actually a cipher of the vicious Il Scutellata, a savage luchador mercenary who answers to a time-travelling Egyptian god and his pirate brother. Under the guise of Il Scutellata, Werebee by Night kidnapped and violently executed twelve teenage girls, using the twelve forbidden submission holds of the Before Ones, an order of gods from before Egyptian�s written history. Feeling guilt and shame at his heinous murders, Melvin Lifera abandons both of his identities and his gods and becomes I, Waspman, a rogue wrestler without any allegiances or convictions. I, Waspman, finds camaraderie only with the well-meaning naivete of Dasher Hatfield, a man with a baseball for a hey where are you going I�M NOT FINISHED YET

How Chikara never ran a Bee-themed rival team against the Colony is beyond me. Yes i know the spinoff ants exist, but missed opportunity not running a stable of bees (The Hive?) with all the guys in bee costumes and named things like Bumblebee (a big lovable fat guy that does flips), El Zumbador (the lucha high flyer guy on the team), Yellowjacket (the treacherous rear end in a top hat of the team who eventually betrays The Hive because he�s not actually a bee) and all led by a cutthroat Queen Bee (in my imaginary Chikara this could have been Kimber Lee or Sara Del Ray).

Instead we got impostor ants, then action figure ants (that killed a boss full of children in Zimbabwe???). :shrug:

# ¿ Mar 25, 2024 03:46

BodyMassageMachine: Nov 24, 2006

Liquid Communism posted:

Bob From Accounting, a CPA who became so infuriated by his clients that he took up wrestling to get back at them. Barely lampshaded ripoff of IRS, currently feuding with Good Mike Quackenbush over his refusal to cut benefits for the workers to save the company's bottom line.

This you?

https://youtu.be/uamlVkKBHt8?feature=shared

# ¿ Mar 31, 2024 04:09

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > whats your chikara gimmick?