EorayMel posted:

I feel like there is a much better way to make the point "fascism is bad" that doesn't involve 25 phonebooks of lore and being as edgy as humanly possible

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Thing is though the Emperor is literally a corpse on a throne venerated by an empire he has no actual control over which does literally everything wrong either from ignoring what he tried to teach them or following it to the letter, with the implication he is aware of it all and can barely influence anything at all with the most Herculean effort

Hamelekim posted:

Falling asleep to Leutin09's Warhammer 40k lore videos is one of my favorite things to do.

A 40 minute video on relic terminator armour? Yes please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB2fjqy3GVw

Smugworth posted:

Little known fact, while former president Donald J. Trump is often depicted as the Emperor of Mankind, he exclusively fielded Slaaneshi Chaos space marines at local tabletop games.

He also claimed to paint all his figures himself but anonymous sources say they were offered "large sums" to paint his armies for him (and never received said payment).

Jimmy Noskill posted:

I’ve always felt that Chaos was the lamest part of both Warhammer settings. In theory they’re supposed to be dark reflections of humanity’s basest emotions, blah blah, but in practice they’re just four flavors of murderous psychopath. Their existence undercuts what little remains of the setting’s satire, as space fascism doesn’t seem so bad when there really ARE soul-eating demons out there.

They’re stupidly edgy, they’re unassailable, and they’re BORING.

If it were up to me, the Chaos gods would be a background element that sometimes pops up and burns itself out rather than the primary antagonist of the setting. I’d make the main conflict the Imperium vs xenos and Imperium vs itself, emphasizing how dogmatism and inflexibility make the Imperium its own worst enemy.

But given how baked-in Chaos is, that’s probably a completely different setting at that point.

Mr Teatime posted:

Chaos owns actually and its not that fascism is necessary because of chaos it’s that literal skull collecting blood berserkers and guys made mainly out of tentacles are somehow less horrifying than the fascist dystopia that is the imperium. It’s also explicitly clear in the setting that the imperium is its own worst enemy and how poo poo it is drives people towards chaos.

Space fascism is worse than chaos and that’s the joke.

Charles Bukowski posted:

I enjoyed a Z plot in one of the heresy books about a chaos titan princeps(main pilot) that's losing control of his mech for various reasons. He gets convinced to partake in a joint ritual to Khorne to get his machine possessed by a daemon and his ability to interface with the titan will be fully restored. Long story short after he loves his new and mighty daemon engine, it locks him into the throne with bone spikes and IV stuff to make him a living corpse puppet stuck inside its skull. Lol, didn't expect that one, didja dummy?!

Oh yeah, the other pilots in possessed mechs are in and out of consciousness, covered in poo poo and piss because they've been inside them and actively fighting for weeks and months, some of them are dead but the princeps keeps hearing them obey instructions, etc.

quote:

For months now, her physical world had been wholly in the confines of the Hindurah's cockpit. She escaped it only by blending her senses with her engine's, living through its eyes and its guns, feeling Hindurah's movement as her own. When had Ulienne last breath fresh air instead of the sweaty reek coming out of the filtration slits behind her head? When had she last drunk anything but the recycled piss of her closest comrades? When had she last moved from her control throne?

Ulienne breathed in, catching the smell of her own poo poo. Her output filters had failed... when? Days ago? Weeks ago? Her legs were caed with her own waste. Her uniform was patchy with vomit that stank of stale nutrient paste. Once noticed, the stench of the various filths crusting her to her throne was omnipresent. Practically overwhelming.

Blearily, she caught sight of her own arm. Her hand was a black claw, fused to the metal-

'My princeps?'

Jolted from her reverie, she turned her gummy eyes towards Otesh. 'Moderatus,' she acknowledged. Sands of Mars, but she was tired, so drat tired.

'Awaiting your orders, my princeps.'

Ulienne stared at her crewmate. Otesh was carrion, her skin sick and sunless, her eyes dry. Ulienne could smell her now too, the spoiled meat sweetness of her. She'd been dead at least a week, even before they attempted the climb. At some point before she'd died, the moderatus had bitten off through her own tongue. Flies were growing fat on her face, crawling in and out of her open mouth.

Ulienne opened her eyes. Or closed them. The dream stopped, or perhaps started again. She wasn't sure which, nor was she sure if it really mattered anymore.

'My princeps?' Otesh said again.

'You're dead,' Ulienne said. Or thought. She couldn't tell if she was speaking or thinking. Even banked, Hindurah's reactor was pressing at the back of Ulienne's mind; a constant pressure right in the grey meat of her skull. 'Are you dead, Otesh?'

'My princeps?' Ulienne heard the words or imagined hearing them. They were spoken by Otesh or by the thing wearing Otesh's skin or they weren't spoken at all.

Ulienne felt wet warmth on her face. She was weeping. Or she was bleeding from her eyes again.

'Walk,' she said, closing her hands around the arms of her control throne. She felt and heard her gloves creak. She was still wearing them. Her hands weren't black claws melded to metal. They weren't. They weren't. Though she couldn't bring herself to look to make sure.

'We walk. Advance with the horde.

Crazy Achmed posted:

How do the orks achieve ftl travel, then?

Eclipse12 posted:

Hmm. Can orks be corrupted by Chaos? I've never heard of Chaos Orks.

Just one more reason orks is best.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Orks also like to bolt giant effigies of toothy maws onto the front of their hulks to scare the daemons away, and since that's exactly the logic both daemons and orks work on, it sometimes works. Or they just get in-flight entertainment.

Apparently GW occasionally concedes that Chaos corrupted Orks can happen, but it's pretty rare and also usually pretty hard to tell them apart from regular Orks anyway, especially in the case of Khorne. Gork and Mork just already fill their spiritual needs perfectly.

Yeah, there's some heavy implications that the Space Marines were meant to be temporary and had a built-in expiration date, like the Thunder Warriors before them, and suggestions that the pre-Heresy Space Wolves were a legion built around wiping out other Space Marines for that purpose. The whole deal they have about being the Emperor's chosen warriors who will not know fear and all that poo poo basically makes them extra prone to falling to Chaos out of pride, entitlement and spite if they feel they aren't getting the respect they deserve. There's also some theories that the Golden Throne was meant to have Magnus the Red plugged into it permanently rather than the Emperor himself.

Of course everything went so badly wrong and no one even knows what the plan was, because Big E is just wonderful at communicating and delegating. They have a hard enough time stopping the Imperium's own leadership from running it even more into the ground than before, because every time someone gets enough power they immediately go completely mad with it and set half the Imperium against itself again. And then there's poo poo that's apparently had a huge impact in the setting but was so dire it's only vaguely talked about, like The Harrowing.

limp_cheese posted:

Or some of the Chaos marines. The 2 I'm thinking of are everyone's best friend Kharn the Betrayer, and a noise marine that spends all his time riding around on a motorcycle that's blasting music at deadly levels while doing super cocaine, emga heroin, and krokodil. Dude doesn't want to fight, just party as hard as inhumanly possible.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Weirdly enough it's not the Iron Hands that the Iron Warriors have particular beef with, they have a particularly deep hatred for the Imperial Fists, even moreso than their deep hatred for literally everything else.

Gripweed posted:

That was true back in the old days when it was all resin and you were paying like 50 bucks for five guys. But now most of the main guys you'd want in any Marines army is in plastic, and the prices are in some cases better than 40k models.

https://www.warhammer.com/en-WW/shop/Space-Marines-Primaris-Intercessors-2020?queryID=f939a3263a9c53585c2bd1cb689f3ecb

https://www.warhammer.com/en-WW/shop/horus-heresy-legion-astartes-mk3-tactical-squad-2023?queryID=9b75b6598f87f8a7f9fe070b8716f946

Captain Invictus posted:

now THIS is what I'm talking about

bob dobbs is dead posted:

necrons and orks have basically all of the good xenos books. despite being the elves of the setting (and theoretically by default the second most important faction, by tolkien rules), 40k eldar books basically all suck

Smugworth posted:

I wish I could grow some orks in my backyard

Dapper_Swindler posted:

https://www.joytoy.com/products/grey-knights-nemesis-dreadknight-including-action-figures
Now you can own a toy one for 400.

Barudak posted:

Not even with the expansion packs? I know the necrons were unbalanced as gently caress but come on, the imperial guard were fun.

Captain Invictus posted:

the blood angels from that box I also posted come without their helmets on.

Gripweed posted:

They're taller and narrower and some of them are girls now.

The new trailer's pretty cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAFvQzSwIEM

Literally A Person posted:

Thank God they didn't use a d12

Cornwind Evil posted:

The Emperor has a Text To Speech Device basically says this is true, but that the Emperor was such a godly being that it seemed like all the women he was with died. I suspect the maker, in trying to make the Emperor more 'personable', had to dance around the concept of 'Yeah he somehow hosed a bunch of women to death, somehow', no details on the exact reasons (Text Emperor says "It was all willing, I never forced myself", but even SO, if they all DIED to his knowledge...) It could be that the act was fine but being exposed to 'raw Emperor' was akin to radiation poisoning or something.

Something that just popped into my head: okay so the Primarchs are his 20 clone sons, Chaos scattered them all over the universe which led to them having the wide range of upbringings that set up the Heresy...did they ever explain HOW they did that? Were all 20 in some sort of nursery and the Chaos gods popped in and gleefully chucked all the infants into random Warp portals before spray painting CHAOS ROOLZ ANATHEMA DROOLZ on the wall and leaving?

Hollismason posted:

It can't be understated how horrible it was to play against Eldar in 2nd edition of 40k.

I still get irrationally angry when I think about pop up attacks

Jimbone Tallshanks posted:

Rambo planet is the most important planet in the Stallone system , other being Rocky planet, Cliffhanger planet, and Stop or my Mom Will Shoot planet.

naem posted:

the henry caville show def needs an ork episode

hatching out of mushrooms, instinctively building weapons and armor and vehicles, fightin’, the works. All from the ork point of view- “hey wat are we doin’ this all for? *shrugs*”

It could be a comedy episode and end with main cast characters showing up to fight the orks

Fatty posted:

Why is Mortarion green, given that this would be pre-heresy?

Gripweed posted:

Yes, the Forges of Mars trilogy. It also shows up a bit in other books all over the place. Basically, it depends entirely on your rank. High ranking officers get nice quarters with glassaic devotional windows and food and so on. and then it goes all the way down to, like, classic barracks style bunk bed situations with a regular allotment of vita-paste or slab or some other food-like substance from the galley.

Below that, you've got stuff like gun-slaves who are worked to death loading shells the size of a city bus into the guns, the communities of hangers-on who build shanty towns in various unused sections of the ship, mutants and castaways eking out survival in the darkest forgotten corners of the ship, and, of course, lots and lots of servitors.

Molothecat posted:

they'll also look into the camera when they say things like "a horde of space-faring bugs that consume all organic material? Yeah RIGHT." so the audience can go "ooooooh" and then pause it and explain it to their very patient so's.

Benagain posted:

Nah so off the top of my head:

Warhammer fantasy world explodes everyone dies

Chaos fucks around gets bored fucks off

Gods old and new take up life in worlds slowly coalescing around the winds of magic

Age of wonders

Chaos is back baby! Refugees crowd into realm of azyr

Age of sucking rear end

Age of sigmar begins with unveiling of storm cast, the greatest heroes of all reforged into unkillable beings with no downsides whatsoever! An alliance of basically every non chaos god forms that will absolutely last the test of time and won't disentegrate the second it encounters friction

Chaos kicked on its rear end, slannesh kicked to another dimension

Stormcast start to show problems. The rear end in a top hat gods of betrayal betray.

Chaos comes back but now everyone else is strong enough to not get overwhelmed immediately

Present

Benagain posted:

Here's my fantasy game about orks and humans fighting. The backstory is The Thirty Years War: Europe's Tragedy by Peter Wilson only any time someone non-white is mentioned just replace them with a skeleton or something.

Gripweed posted:

Gripweed posted:

It’s not random, Mawpaths are the routes travelled by nomadic Ogor tribes. So the Heartgulper Mawpath is the territory of the Heartgulper Ogor tribe.

bob dobbs is dead posted:

its for never losing a copyright suit again

they got laughed out of court for trying to defend their spurious copyright on Space Marines, but Adeptus Astartes can readily be defended. (Imperial Guard vs. Astra Militarum, etc)

Jimbone Tallshanks posted:

From what I understand GW is very litigious about anyone using their IP for any reason. Usually you take legal action if someone is cutting into your profits somehow (Bill Watterson explained that they never took legal action about Calvin & Hobbes being on t-shirts or truck decals because they never did any merchandising so it wasn't fiscally prudent to) but GW takes steps to keep as much control over their product as possible, regardless of if it's a net gain or not.

I could be completely wrong though, this is mostly pieced together from rumors and stuff.