40K Lore Thread: More like Games Wokeshop

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > 40K Lore Thread: More like Games Wokeshop

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

I got my lore WH40k lore from 1d4chan. A website that has been down for over a year. I don't care if it was made by channers it has some real funny content - this isn't 40k related, it's d&d. Still funny.

The ARSEPLOMANCER
Gather up enough 3E books and you can jump into someones rear end, then explode out of them all while having onlookers cheer you on for your gruesome act of murder.

quote:

According to the Epic Level Handbook an escape artist check of 80 is:

"the DC for getting through a space when one�s head shouldn�t even be able to fit; this can be as small as 2 inches square for Medium-size creatures. Halve this limit for each size category less than Medium-size; double it for each size category greater than Medium-size. If the space is long, such as in a chimney, multiple checks may be called for."

Basically, like that killer boneless guy from The X-Files.

The arseplomancer uses this DC to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics (the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude), thus turning ordinary people into (sadly temporary) devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.

Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that. Although since the victim already has actual hit points, it'd be better to use that than a formula based on how to determine leather's hit points.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2024 21:46

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 11:54

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

Springfield Fatts posted:

This man not even acknowledging the Snotling under-under class

Not a class, they are ammunition.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2024 23:55

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

They would be called GRIMSTRIGOI or something equally trademarkable

They changed Elves to Aelves in WH Fantasy for this exact reason. Games Workshop also tried to copyright 'Space Marine' - which was like trying to copyright 'plasma rifle' or some poo poo.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2024 01:03

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

Computer viking posted:

I vaguely recall WH40k as being yet another case of someone writing an over the top "look at these dumb space fascists in a setting where everything is hilariously bad and dumb" and it taking roughly fifteen minutes before the majority of the readers were unironic fans of the space fascists?

Does that surprise you?

# ¿ Mar 26, 2024 01:28

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

Punkinhead posted:

Thought the first half was funny, then it got weird, then it got...

"Want a show that doesn't hate your male power fantasies, but embraces them?"

I stopped watching it about four minutes in. Guess I'm not missing anything.

Sly Marbo:
'He is utterly silent and acknowledges orders with but a slight nod before vanishing once more to find the enemy'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMNWAJiz5Y

# ¿ Mar 27, 2024 21:46

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

I posted this earlier:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMNWAJiz5Y

Youtube translate turned one of the lines into "Ah, the monk ice cream so well on this planet.."

# ¿ Apr 7, 2024 05:18

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 11:54

Valko: Sep 18, 2015

Henry Cavill is good at dispelling myths about nerds.

Not all nerds are ugly and not all nerds have brains.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 10:01

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