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What should I yell at the Judge?
“I’m a lawyer. What we think isn’t supposed to matter.”
"Permission to approach."
"You can't handle the truth"
“In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.”
"No further questions your honor"
"May I beg the court’s indulgence for a moment?"
"The evidence is overwhelming."
"If the glove fits, you must acquit"
" I'm holding you in contempt of court."
"Goku"
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Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006


Back in December or so I received two (2) Jury Duty Summons. One was for a Federal Grand Jury and the other was for a State Petit Jury. I attended the Federal Grand Jury Summons first, and I spent most of the day in the Courtroom. I wound up being selected to the Federal Grand Jury. That service is 3 meetings a month for an 18 month commitment. That is kind of annoying and there were other ways I would rather spend my time, but I don't really have a good excuse why I can't do it. Plus they said something about having danish.

Once I got the Federal Summons, I requested to be excused from State Jury Duty. They declined me citing the fact that I hadn't been attended the summons yet. I can understand that point. I filled another request to be excused after going to the Federal Court. They turned me down again because I hadn't actually been on a Jury yet. I filled out another request to be excused and they declined me again. The next time I included all of the information, submitted the request online, and called the Jury Duty number. The people on the phone were sympathetic and told me that I should absolutely be excused, and that they would send me a form to fill out so I wouldn't have to go to State Jury Duty.

Today I got home and I found a piece of mail from the Jury Administration. I opened it up and it was a reminder that I still had to show up for my Summons. Their website recognizes people that have participated in a Jury in the recent past, but it doesn't acknowledge people that are currently on Juries. I can tolerate being on one Jury and doing my civic duty, but being on two Juries seems excessive. I asked to be excused again, they are probably going to say no again. I'll have to waste a couple hours of my life going to the Court, and I'm going to waste the time of the Judge and the lawyers.

As a bonus they sent me a passive aggressive pamphlet.

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Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006


Lord Stimperor posted:

Can't you just say ACAB and get dismissed?

You can definitely do that, I just felt kind of bad because that would force someone else to serve in your place. I don't really have a good excuse why I can't do it.

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006


So the thing about a Grand Jury is that it's not actually in a courtroom and the Judge, defendant, and the defense attorney aren't present. It's in something similar to a boardroom where you hang out with the prosecutor and your fellow jurors. Also, I won't be responsible for guilty / not guilty calls. We just get to choose whether a prosecutor can have their trial or not. I'm sorry to hear about I.M. GEI's father having medical problems, they should definitely be excused for that.

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006


See that's the other fun bit of Grand Jury service, it's a bunch of different cases. So if one case is boring / not particularly interesting, there might be an interesting one to follow.

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006


BigHead posted:

I was on a grand jury once and we had to return exactly one "no true bill" because the prosecutor was a moron and just forgot to put on half of her case. So don't just rubber stamp, pay attention.

Interesting, I figured the burden of proof was probably lower. I suspect they do the whole Grand / Petit Juries for a couple of reasons.

1. Remember France during their Revolution? The steps back then were, arrest, charged, trial, and then probably death. Now it's arrest, indictment (Grand Jury step), charged, trial, and whatever the trial outcome is. The Grand Jury cuts down on the number of trials that are allowed by adding another step.

2. Economics. Everyone in the court room wants to avoid a trial if possible. Trials are expensive, judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys, and all of the court personnel that run everything are all getting paid. I suspect Grand Juries are cheaper because all you need is 22 people with nothing better going on in their lives ($50 a head plus mileage), a prosecutor (who's going to get paid anyways), some room to stash all of the people, and pastries (maybe another $40 here?) The Grand Jury stops failed trials from happening.

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006


By popular demand posted:

do you get lunch in jury duty? I feel like a good lunch would be a good exchange for a day of listening* to lawyers argue.


*LOL no, get a crossword puzzle or something.

No lunch, but I was told there are pastries and coffee. I'll be upset if that is a lie.

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Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006


Regalingualius posted:

Just do what I did: show up, stay long enough to get marked as present, then puke your guts out in the bathroom to get excused and still have it count

Unfortunately I've already been selected. Next time I'll try that though.

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