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the St. Louis cardinals The last two seasons I typed like a thousand words about the cardinals. This season I cannot muster the enthusiasm and the above image really accurately illustrates what the team building strategy has been. The only expensive free agent the cardinals signed is a 35 year old pitcher who is starting the season on the IL. The youngest member of what was supposed to be the rotation is 34 year old Steven Matz (the pitcher filling Sonny grays spot while he’s hurt is young). The manager who started his season last year by alienating his starting center fielder within a week of opening day and led the team to their worst record in 30 years has been given an extension. The two high priced infielders who disappointed last season have publicly revealed that they are both unable or uninterested in being clubhouse leaders. The rotation features the pitcher who gave up the most home runs last season, the most hits last season, and both of those are guys the team opted to bring in. Our opening day starter gave up ten hits per nine innings last year and had his worst strikeout rate as a cardinal. The positives for this team are that we have three exciting young up and comers at RF (Jordan walker), SS (Masyn Winn) and CF in a late addition (victor Scott). Wilson Contreras was pretty good last season after he recovered from being thrown under the bus by our clod manager and moron pobo and worthless starting pitchers. The best case scenarios for the cardinals this season are as follows: The team utterly shits themselves in April and Oliver Marmol gets fired. Replacing him is beloved cardinals alum yadi Molina, and the team digs themselves out of their hole to make a playoff run. Jordan walker hits a ball so hard that it hits bill Dewitt in Chicago. After recuperating from his injuries he realizes that life is too short to not try harder to leave a winning legacy and starts spending money on his baseball team. Bizzy Bouillabaisse’s Season Prediction This team is hosed from jump street. They finish fourth in the division and Oli Marmol gets fired. One of the old dude pitchers has a slight bounceback from last year but the others are terrible. Final record: 70-92 Bismack Billabongo fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Mar 28, 2024 |
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Mar 28, 2024 17:27
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 17:21 |
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The cardinals are going to suck this year for sure so I’m gonna have to find a plucky underdog in the AL to root for. Thinking Yankees.
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Mar 29, 2024 14:27
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Doctor Teeth posted:my cardinals are going to suck a lot this year but i need to know who is going to step up and be That Annoying Fucker the Cubs Can Never Strike Out 
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Apr 5, 2024 14:28
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