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Here's the Meet The Team Thread. Post long screeds about your baseball team and roster in this thread. One example of a baseball team is the Chicago Cubs.
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Mar 28, 2024 03:12
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THE MEDIOCRE CHICAGO CUBS ARE SORT OF TRYING TO WIN THEIR DOGSHIT DIVISION WHAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR The Cubs came into the second full season after their 2021 sell-off of World Series Heroes in a weird sort of holding pattern where they didn't really expect to compete but were starting to pay some competent veterans so they wouldn't be a complete embarrassment. They spent big money on shortstop Dansby Swanson and took a flier on Cody Bellinger while mixing in some of their younger pitching prospects and still relying on warmed over veterans like Nick Madrigal and journeyman outfielder Mike Tauchman. After a miserable start, the Cubs started to get unexpected results: Bellinger had his best season in years at the plate, young pitchers like Justin Steele and Jordan Wicks looked good in the rotation, "Cool" Kyle Hendricks had some vintage Professor games left in him, and the NL Central remained one of the crappiest divisions in baseball. The Cubs stayed in contention for a wildcard spot to try to return to the playoffs for the first time since 2020, but faltered at the end. Now the Cubs retain largely the same roster with their heralded prospects closer to the majors and they hope that they can win 85-86 games and sneak into the playoffs. As the most well-known and richest team in their division, you would think they would be more ambitious, but the Ricketts family have empowered Jed Hoyer to try to run them as cheaply as possible, so they'll probably be scrapping the whole year and hoping that the young talent in the division doesn't catch them. THE MANAGER In November, the Cubs made a stunning move: they fired David Ross and hired Milwaukee's Craig Counsell. Counsell, considered one of the top managers in the game, was available and the Cubs pounced. Ross, the clubhouse leader of the World Series team, was now unexpectedly out on his rear end. How good is Counsell? I have no idea, he's never won anything. But we can all admit it was extremely funny when Brewers fans freaked out including spraypainting the word "rear end" on the little league park named for proud Milwaukee native Counsell.  THE TEAM  Yan Gomes, Catcher .267/.315/.408 When the Cubs decided not to pay Willson Contreras, they said they wanted to go with an emphasis on run prevention. Gomes, who split time with Contreras in 2022, was apparently the favored target of Cubs pitchers. Gomes also had a pretty good season hitting as well, especially in the clutch. Gomes will turn 37 this year and will cede more starts to Miguel Amaya, but he's one of the leaders of the clubhouse even if he did cost Drew Smyly a potential perfect game last year by accidentally tackling him.  Michael Busch, 1B .167/.247/.292 The Cubs haven't had a reliable first basement since Cubs Legend Frank Schwindel had the funniest two months of a baseball season when he emerged from obscurity after the 2021 Rizzo trade and then left for Japan. They hope they found one in Busch. Busch, who had been tearing up the Dodgers minor leagues, was blocked by Freddy Freeman. He's a first base or DH bat; any attempt to move him throughout the infield had been a disaster though he came up as a second baseman. Busch got a chance in the big leagues last year and put up the horrible slash line above in 98 plate appearances. The Cubs apparently were higher on him than their own minors-mashing, big-league-stinking first base prospect the Cubsposting legend Matt Mervis since they traded two pretty well-regarded prospects for him. If he sucks, Bellinger is available to play first as well or they can give Mervis another shot and we can all spend the rest of the season blissfully Mervposting as he strikes out on three straight pitches.  Nico Hoerner, 2B .283/.346/.383 Hoerner's value comes from the fact that he's a gold-glove caliber shortstop playing second. He and Dansby make up one of the best-fielding middle infields in the game. He's a good contact hitter who has been improving at getting on base, which is good because he decided to become one of the most dangerous runners in the game with 43 steals last year. Maybe Nico has a little more thunder in that bat, in which case he is an all-star caliber second baseman, but this is probably who Nico is.  Dansby Swanson, SS .244/.328/.416 Swanson was clearly the least star-like of 2023's crop of star free agents. He's not really a middle of the order bat, and he had a down year offensively even if he did manage to club 22 dingers and make an all-star team. He is one of the best fielding shortstops in baseball, so if he is even slightly above average of hitting then he should be useful. He's become one of the leaders of the team, has a great head of hair, and hopefully blasts a few more bombs into the bleachers and does some really cool plays with Nico and isn't decapitated by an errant Christopher Morel throw.  Christopher Morel, 3B .247/.313/.508 This season is the Great Christopher Morel Third Baseman Experiment. He came up as a second baseman, settled in as a very adventurous center fielder, and spent most of last season at DH. Morel's bat plays; he hit 26 home runs after being kept down in Iowa for more than a month. He has never really played third base before, but the Cubs didn't bother to sign a third baseman so they're hoping it can be him. Results this spring have been mixed-- Morel is a great athlete, but he's also made a bunch of boneheaded mistakes. If he can even hold up there a little bit, it would be very useful, reminding me of when Aramis Ramirez came over and could only successfully throw to first because Derek Lee was nine feet tall. Morel was in some trade rumors, but he's already beloved on the North Side for his effervescent, hug-forward personality. The Cubs are betting big on Morel this year who has not yet turned 25.  Ian Happ, LF .248/.360/.431 Happ is a solid player, a gold-glove outfielder who has gotten better at getting on base. Counsell wants to move him back to leadoff this year. Happ's the longest-tenured Cub, avoided getting traded off, and has a robust coffee business, and tips the bleacher bums. The Cubs have a lot of good outfield prospects, so I don't imagine he'll be around forever, but he really seems to like being here. Bring back his terrible hair billboards, I am sick of Brian Urlacher!!!!!  Cody Bellinger, CF/1B .307/.356/.525 What a weird career. Bellinger came up with the Dodgers, became a superstar, won an MVP, and then got hurt with a catastrophic Celebration Injury and turned into one of the worst hitters in baseball for a few years. The Cubs took him on as a reclamation project, and it worked out spectacularly. He became their best hitter, an apparently beloved teammate, and a fan favorite. The analytics dweebs say that Bellinger's numbers show that he's a candidate for regression; teams certainly used that as a justification to avoid giving him a huge contract this year, and he signed back with the Cubs on another opt-out heavy deal. I don't care. Belli rules and I hope he mashes again and does cool catches in the outfield and looks like he is doing a lot of weed even if he claims that he just has a natural Weed Face.  Seiya Suzuki, RF .285/.357/.485 Seiya had a hell of a rollercoaster ride last year. He got injured in camp, missed the WBC where Team Japan hung his jersey in the dugout, then suffered a disastrous few weeks until David Ross benched him. Suzuki got an opportunity to reset and change his approach and all of a sudden turned into a baseball monster. For the last two months of the season, he put up some cartoonish Barry Bonds numbers. Suzuki, with another year to acclimate, will hopefully continuing to mash. Despite the language barrier, he is a delightfully goofy character and one of the funniest dudes on the team. BENCH Nick Madrigal, IF, 263/.311/.352 Madrigal is still on the team, still tiny, still playing a surprisingly good third base despite having to literally run halfway across the diamond to the throw to first, and still injuring his hamstrings every 2-3 weeks. Madrigal hit two dingers last year, including a very funny one against the White Sox. With Codi Heuer released and Madrigal unable to start, we have a final verdict on the Cubs/Sox Craig Kimbrel trade: it is very funny. Garrett Cooper, 1B/DH .239/.323/.402 Righty platoon bat coming over from San Diego who spent most of his career with the Marlins. His numbers are pretty lousy for a first baseman, hopefully he will be put in a position to only hit lefties. Miles Mastrobuoni, UTIL, .248/.308/.301 "So the Braves will go from Johnson to Hand, and the batter will be Mastrobuoni." Miguel Amaya, C .214/.329/.359 The Cubs' catcher of the future for the fifth consecutive year. Amaya played really well in the minors but kept accruing devastating, season-ending injuries. He came up last year after all of the other backup catchers were complete garbage. The pitchers seem to think he's developing into an excellent receiver and game-caller, he has some pop in the bat, and he'll be doing more catching as Gomes eases into his dotage. Mike Tauchman, OF, .252/.363/.377 The "Palatine Pounder" (sorry, not my fault, I didn't do it) is a local kid who turned into a journeyman including stops overseas. He's an excellent fielder who made one of the most ridiculous catches I've ever seen to rob a walkoff homer from the hated Cardinals and even enjoyed a few weeks when he was hitting the poo poo out of the ball. I hope the Cubs are not relying on Tauchman as anything other than a defensive replacement this year. Patrick Wisdom, IF/DH, .205/.289/.500 Wisdom hits baseballs to the moon on the rare times he doesn't strike out. He's starting the year on the IL and will vie with Cooper for the right-handed platoon bat and can also fill in at first and third. I will always appreciate Wisdom for being one of the faces of the dogshit Tank Cubs but if he's playing a lot this year, the Cubs are probably hosed. STARTING PITCHERS  Justin Steele, LHP Steele was one of the best pitchers in the National League last season and is set up as the Cubs' ace. The lefty doesn't throw super hard, but gets good movement on his fastball and bamboozles people with his slider. He faded a bit down the stretch in his first season handling an ace workload, but if he can stay healthy, he should be the guy.  "Cool" Kyle Hendricks, RHP It looked like Kyle was cooked in 2022. He was pitching badly and then dealt with a shoulder injury. Instead he came back with his best year since 2020. Hendricks is still fooling people with his changeup and his 88 mph fastball. His near no-hitter last season in San Francisco was one of the best moments of the season. Hendricks completely lost his curveball last year, so hopefully he can get that back and still be effective. The Professor is the last World Series Cub on the roster. Long may he throw slowly.  Shota Imanaga, LHP The "Throwing Philosopher" may not be the most heralded Japanese pitcher to move to the majors this season, but the Cubs need him to be good. He doesn't throw heat, but he has weird movement on his fastball and a forkball. Imanaga was susceptible to the homer in Japan, so it will likely be a terrifying sight when he's out there on days where the flags are whipping out at Wrigley. He looked incredible in spring training, so hopefully he won't get completely lit up here. Apparently, Shota fell in love with Chicago while staying here during the winter and he has cultivated a love of baseball theme songs, including Go Cubs Go.  Jordan "The Goon" Wicks, LHP The Cubs have a type and it's unassuming guys who don't throw hard. Wicks, a pie-faced doofus who looks like a 1950s accountant, is not exactly lighting up the radar gun, but he has a devastating changeup. He looked great last year coming up in the middle of a playoff race even if he served up his first major league pitch for a home run.  Javier Assad, RHP Assad was used mainly as a multi-inning bullpen guy last year until forced into the rotation again because of injuries. He was quietly very good last season, even if he doesn't strike a ton of guys out. It's not his fault he has the same name as a notorious dictator. MAIN BULLPEN GUYS Adbert Alzolay, RHP Adbert was excellent as the closer last season until he got hurt. If he can stay healthy, he should be their top bullpen arm. Hector Neris, RHP Neris, a former Astro, was a rare bullpen arm not brought in as a bargain or reclamation project. He should be the main right-handed setup guy. He's in his mid-30s, his peripherals are trending in the wrong direction, and he was really bad in spring training, so the spotlight will be on him quickly. Julian Merryweather, RHP A successful reclamation project, this guy throws 100, turned himself from a terrifying oh no he's going to walk a guy pitcher to their most reliable setup man, but he's an oft-injured relief pitcher so who knows. Drew Smyly, LHP Got moved into the bullpen late last year. I expect he'll be a swing man and spot starter, though he looked quite good as a lefty out of the pen once he really started to suck poo poo when he was starting. Luke Little, LHP Luke Little is loving huge, actually. Came up last year and throws a gazillion miles per hour. He made the team out of spring training, but unless he is absolutely nails, he'll probably spend some time in Iowa. SEASON OUTLOOK The Cubs won 83 games last year and barely missed the wild card. They brought back mainly the same team this year, but hope that Counsell and some development from young guys especially pitchers will help carry them to the division title. They're also hoping that the Brewers collapse, the Cardinals remain mediocre, and the Reds and Pirates don't make a big leap when their prospects arrive. The Cubs have a highly-rated farm system with some big prospects knocking on the door, particularly insane center fielder Pete Crow-Armstrong who is already one of the best fielding center fielders in the game and is in Iowa hoping to develop his bat. It seems to me that the Cubs don't want to commit a lot of big money to free agents until they can determine if their top prospects can come up as a wave like in 2015. They're also depending heavily on untested corner infielders. I think on paper the Cubs should have a decent chance to win this lovely-rear end division but if they don't they can only blame themselves. R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Mar 28, 2024 |
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Mar 28, 2024 03:12
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Lmao i completely forgot JameO was on the team, oops
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Mar 28, 2024 14:55
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CHICAGO WHITE SOX TO CITY: DROP DEAD You might remember the White Sox as a team on the brink of contention that emerged from a horrible tank with one of the most exciting young rosters in baseball. But then Jerry Reinsdorf hired his buddy the ancient drunk Tony LaRussa, they tried to play a bunch of DHs in the outfield, everyone kept getting hurt all of the time, and Reinsdorf refused to spend any money to augment their young core with established veterans, and they went immediately into the shitter. Now they're tanking again, they will be one of the worst teams in baseball, they have a new front office with another warmed over White Sox Guy, and Reinsdorf is demanding public money for a new stadium thirty years after demanding public money for a new stadium. They also allowed their beloved announcer, one of the best broadcasters across sports who grew up a White Sox fan to move to the Detroit Tigers because Jerry Reinsdorf is cheap and awful. I am very sorry to anyone who is still rooting for this team. MANAGER Pedro Grifol The Sox brought in Grifol from the Royals to try to reverse the horrendous La Russa vibes. White Sox fans don't seem to like Grifol, the players don't seem particularly jazzed about him, and the White Sox still play like sloppy poo poo. Departures Dylan Cease, RHP Cease, one of the best pitchers in baseball in 2022 had a worse year in 2023 and the Sox decided to cut bait on him for prospects before his arm exploded. Apparently got several well-regarded prospects for him from the Padres in a stunning late spring training trade. Tim Anderson Once the face of the White Sox and one of the most exciting young players in baseball, Anderson forgot how to hit last year, had a bunch of weird drama in his personal life, and got punched about the face by Jose Ramirez after starting a fight by squaring up to him like he was the Notre Dame mascot. No one seemed to want him, but he eventually signed for virtually nothing with the Marlins, who will either get a completely washed second baseman or a free all-star. What a strange career for a guy who was legitimately one of the coolest dudes in baseball three years ago. ROSTER  Martin Maldonado, C The Machete was a mainstay of the Astros, with a cannon of an arm and a reputation as a pitch-caller, veteran presence, and defensive stopper. Anyone who follows baseball knows exactly how to read this: this dude can't fuckin' hit. Giving several hundred plate appearances to this guy is like bringing back pitchers hitting.  Andrew Vaughn, 1B Vaughn was drafted as a this guy can hit but we don't even know if he can play first in the majors bat. Instead, the White Sox, already jammed with first basemen and DHs, made him play left field for two seasons. It was not a total disaster, but he's settled in as the everyday first baseman. His bat never really developed and he's never managed more than a .750 OPS. At least every picture of him is very funny because he looks frightened and bug-eyed whenever he is photographed. Nicky Lopez, 2B I have no idea who this guy is. Former Royal who I guess is from the Chicago suburb of Naperville. I just looked him up and I guess he must have a good glove because he is a lousy hitter. Paul DeJong, SS You may remember this guy as an extremely annoying Cardinal who came up out of nowhere and was really good for a few seasons. He lost the ability to hit, but he is guaranteed to be better at short than 2023 Tim Anderson of the reanimated corpse of Elvis Andrus. Yoan Moncada, 3B It's been enough years since he came up as the prized #1 overall prospect in baseball acquired in the Chris Sale trade to determine that he just kind of stinks now. Moncada had a little bit of a breakthrough season as he regressed from guy who should not be playing professional baseball to roughly average at the plate. The Sox are probably hoping he can hit enough where they can finally trade him but that will be tough because Reinsdorf isn't going to have to pay enough money off his huge contract to get them a decent return. Andrew Benintendi, LF The Most Expensive Free Agent in White Sox History had an awful season last year. Still a decent glove, he needs to rebound from his .682 OPS. Either way, Sox fans should get used to him because he's not going anywhere for a long time. Luis Robert, CF Finally, a non-depressing White Sox player! Luis Robert is one of the best in baseball who finally stayed healthy enough to have the breakout All Star-caliber season we've all been waiting for. Robert can hit, has power, is an incredible fielder, and is very fast. He clubbed 38 dingers last year and had 20 steals and is only 26. He could possibly have an MVP-type season this year. If you go to see this garbage team this year, he is the reason why. RF Dominic Fletcher I have no idea who this guy is. He will platoon with Kevin Pillar, who the White Sox cut from their camp, then reacquired the next day and started on opening day. Real White Sox poo poo. Eloy Jimenez, DH Once one of the most exciting players in baseball, he is a gigantic Dinger Man who hits majestic Ding Shots. Except he kept getting hurt attempting to play the outfield and last year, when he was largely able to stay healthy enough to get to almost 500 plate appearances, seems to have lost his power with only 18 homers. The only explanation for why Eloy fell off a cliff is White Sox. PITCHERS Garrett Crochet, RHP The White Sox confused a lot of people when they announced that Crochet, a guy who hasn't started a game since his sophomore year in college, would be their opening day starter. Crochet has insane stuff but is coming off Tommy John surgery and is a career reliever. Crochet pitched really well on Opening Day so maybe they are not insane. Michael Soroka Came over from Atlanta, he was a very good starter who has been injured and crappy for the past few seasons. Erick Fedde Guy who washed out of American baseball then went to the KBO and dominated, so the Sox are hoping that he can be a reclamation project. Chris Flexen I saw this guy pitch twice last year against the Cubs, once when he was on the Mariners and coughed up a 7 run lead in the second inning and then once when he was with the Rockies. He really seemed to stink! Anyway now he's on the White Sox. Michael Kopech This guy used to throw like 103 then he got a hurt a bunch and walked a bunch of guys and now is in the bullpen and is not very happy about it. Season Outlook The White Sox look like they are going to absolutely suck this year. It should be illegal for Jerry Reinsdorf to own sports teams.
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Mar 30, 2024 18:46
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Doctor Teeth posted:my cardinals are going to suck a lot this year but i need to know who is going to step up and be That Annoying Fucker the Cubs Can Never Strike Out why can't it just be Matt Carpenter again
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Apr 1, 2024 15:28
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