Completely unanswerable questions my wife asks me about our cat

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Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Lieutenant Dan posted:

My ex used to discuss with me whether we'd have to teach our cat to drive when she turned 16

Our cat is about to turn 15, so I guess it's time to have a talk with him about whether he's ready to get his learner's permit

# ? Mar 29, 2024 12:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 13:03

Cassian of Imola: Feb 9, 2011; Keeping her memory alive!

Poohs Packin posted:

She screams at us when we hug and is obsessed with bathing and bedtimes. Im pretty sure shes a Wahabbist.

a cat after my own heart

# ? Mar 29, 2024 12:49

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Melba! Get the rabbit!!

# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:09

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

Poohs Packin posted:

Oh she opened the shower door to tell me that "Melba is a baby" the other day.

Ask her why Melba is a baby. She'll think "Wow I've been wondering this very thing myself ever since the other day when I noticed that she is a baby. We must be soul mates."

# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:29

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

indulge your wife op. she loves you and your cat companion

# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:35

GABA ghoul: Oct 29, 2011

Thinking about thos' beans

# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:41

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Some supervised cone-free time on her favourite rug.

# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:48

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Aug 15, 2007; Smoke 'em if you gottem!; Dinosaur Gum

Poohs Packin posted:

Temporary solution whilst we cut down and hemmed the cloth cone so she wouldn't trip over it like an IDIOT.

This brush does wonders for keeping kitty's fur untangled:

https://tinyurl.com/yckd9mnv

# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:54

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Poohs Packin posted:

Some supervised cone-free time on her favourite rug.

Why does she look like a puppet from labyrinth?

# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:55

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

that cat owns

# ? Mar 29, 2024 14:03

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

This brush does wonders for keeping kitty's fur untangled:

https://tinyurl.com/yckd9mnv

Thanks! Weve got one and shes not a fan but I make sure to get her little armpits and ruff or else she gets matted.

Shes fortunately very tolerant of brushing and will hop on the table if you tap a brush.

# ? Mar 29, 2024 14:04

Doc Fission: Sep 11, 2011

Gonna need more pictures of this fluffy demon, stat

# ? Mar 29, 2024 14:09

DrSunshine: Mar 23, 2009; Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!

What is Melba's solution to the Goldbach conjecture?
How would Melba resolve the incompatibility between the Standard Model and General Relativity?
Could Melba demonstrate that 2^ℵ_0 = ℵ_1 ?

# ? Mar 29, 2024 14:13

Cobra Commander: Jan 18, 2011

Post pics of wife�s �cat� :catte:

# ? Mar 29, 2024 14:18

Wii Spawn Camper: Nov 25, 2005

Poohs Packin posted:

melbas got lil beans

the bottoms of her feet grow out over the beans sometimes and we have to shave the bottoms of her feet so she doesn't skid out on the tile.

Trying to imagine what would happen if I tried to shave my cat�s little feet. I would probably need a transfusion due to blood loss. Melba is a precious angel.

# ? Mar 29, 2024 15:13

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Wii Spawn Camper posted:

Trying to imagine what would happen if I tried to shave my cat’s little feet. I would probably need a transfusion due to blood loss. Melba is a precious angel.

Shes the sweetest, most gentle creature. Shes also been very affectionate since her surgery. I hope on some level she knows we saved her life and is grateful.

# ? Mar 29, 2024 15:46

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

DrSunshine posted:

What is Melba's solution to the Goldbach conjecture?
How would Melba resolve the incompatibility between the Standard Model and General Relativity?
Could Melba demonstrate that 2^ℵ_0 = ℵ_1 ?

The answer to all of these is wet food at 830pm and no later.

# ? Mar 29, 2024 15:47

Buttchocks: Oct 21, 2020; No, I like my hat, thanks.

Would Melba be happier sharing a loft/pottery studio overlooking the Sienne?

# ? Mar 29, 2024 19:40

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Poohs Packin posted:

"Do you think that Melba would have been a witches cat?"

"Doesn't Melba smell like a baby?"

"Can we tell everyone about Melba's toe beans?"

"Do you think that Melba wants to come to the shops with us?"

"Does Melba want to go and see the Easter Bunny?"

These are completely ridiculous and hypothetical questions. I'm not interested in languishing inside of these indulgent hypotheticals.

OP I think your wife wants a baby.

hth

# ? Mar 29, 2024 19:44

Foxfire_: Nov 8, 2010

DrSunshine posted:

Could Melba demonstrate that 2^ℵ_0 = ℵ_1 ?

Yes, but she chooses not to

# ? Mar 29, 2024 19:46

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Hide a treat behind the proof and she'll do it in thirty seconds flat

# ? Mar 29, 2024 19:52

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

Poohs Packin posted:

Oh she opened the shower door to tell me that "Melba is a baby" the other day.

She's right

https://youtube.com/shorts/WFxJD0Vy7aE?si=871S201fp7wIp521

# ? Mar 29, 2024 20:05

Wii Spawn Camper: Nov 25, 2005

Bonzo posted:

OP I think your wife wants a baby.

hth

She has a baby named Melba :confused:

# ? Mar 29, 2024 20:05

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

no one's asking the real questions, like what does Melba do at night while no one's watching? why won't the State Department comment on the prospect of Melba's extradition? And is it just a matter of time before Melba must stand trial at The Hague?

# ? Mar 29, 2024 20:21

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Please remember to celebrate Melba's quinceanera and invite her friends.

# ? Mar 29, 2024 20:29

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Does your cat like Kenny Chesny

# ? Mar 29, 2024 22:01

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Does your cat like Kenny Chesny

She likes 311

# ? Mar 30, 2024 05:20

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

Poohs Packin posted:

She likes 311

your cat sucks

# ? Mar 30, 2024 06:35

Tiny Myers: Jul 29, 2021; say hello to my little friend

Take pictures of the cat's toebeans please.

# ? Mar 30, 2024 08:36

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

Learning about this cat's toe beans has ruined my day, thanks alot op.

# ? Mar 30, 2024 09:54

Carlos Lantana: Oct 2, 2003; I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr

Bonzo posted:

OP I think your wife wants a baby.

hth

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Mar 30, 2024 10:12

Beefed Owl: Sep 13, 2007; Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!

Tell your cat to get a job. loving freeloader

# ? Mar 30, 2024 10:22

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

Your cat is awesome. Please give her all of the hugs.

Poohs Packin posted:

We just wiped out a chunk of our emergency fund saving her life after she ate something she wasn't supposed to and I'd spend the money again (touch wood)

edit: It was a nerf dart that our niece was playing with.

You're awesome too. :unsmith:

# ? Mar 30, 2024 10:56

les enfants Terrific!: Dec 12, 2008

Poohs Packin posted:

melbas got lil beans

the bottoms of her feet grow out over the beans sometimes and we have to shave the bottoms of her feet so she doesn't skid out on the tile.

I had a kitty that we had to do that for. She'd jump onto a desk and breakfast club her rear end off it

# ? Mar 30, 2024 12:19

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

Bonzo posted:

OP I think your wife wants a baby.

hth

i don't think it's possible for a lady to have a baby with a cat???

# ? Mar 30, 2024 13:20

Duct Tape Engineer: Feb 16, 2005; Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?