r/relationships: woke up and chose violence huh

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: woke up and chose violence huh

Steve Vader: Apr 29, 2005; Everyone's Playing!

InediblePenguin posted:

People drive in Boston ffs

Boston is a madhouse buttfuckery of roads and I was only a passenger.

And it's probably that way because it was one of the first cities here and it was settled by British people who thought that kind of poo poo was okay.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 02:45

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

people don't believe me when I say driving in Boston is 10 times worse than driving in Manhattan but if you know, you know

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:28

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

I like driving vacations. We once toured New England for about 10 days, doing dumb poo poo like Ben & Jerry's tour in Vermont and Santa's Village in New Hampshire, but then good stuff like a couple days in Cape Cod, a stop at Martha's Vineyard, and a couple days in New York City. Last year we drove to Quebec and then made our way home through Montreal, Toronto, and Niagara Falls with a couple days spent in each city. We've done the same going south to Disney World, driving through the Smoky Mountains, stopping for a few days and doing a lot of hiking in Kentucky and Tennessee before hitting up the Georgia aquarium and ending up in Orlando. We're east coasters, so we flew to Las Vegas once, rented a car, and then drove to California and made our way from Los Angeles down through San Diego to Mexico. I'd like to do that trip again but go north this time through Oregon and Washington state. This year we plan to drive to Washington DC and on the way will stop at Gettysburg, PA and after a week in DC will drive to Ocean City, MD for a couple days at the beach. It's a great way to see different things, keeps the kids from getting bored in one place for a week or two, and can be done fairly cheaply if gas isn't too outrageous. When each stop along the route is only 2 hours or so away from each other it's an easy way to knock out a bunch of destinations in one trip (we're trying to visit all 50 states before all my kids graduate high school.)

Anyway, here's one of my favorite AITA genres, rear end in a top hat uninvited guests who expect to be waited on:

AITA for leaving my husband at our lake house with his family.

quote:

My husband and I own a lake house that we spend most of our free time at when it's warm.

We go there over the winter to check on it and do any basic maintenance that is required. It is not set up for winter living.

We often invite friends and family over. We have almost two acres of land and there is lots of room to park an RV or set up a tent.

The house has a septic tank for the toilet. All the other water goes to a grey water tank we use for the garden and lawn. We only use biosafe products. We have a very well built and ventilated outhouse for when we have people over.

So last weekend was the one where we went out to get the house ready for the spring and summer.

We ordered the water truck to fill our tank. The propane guys to fill up that tank. We ran water through the pipes to flush them out and get them ready to use.

And his mom and dad showed up with his brother and his family. Which would be fine except it was a cold and lovely weekend. So they didn't want to set up tents and stay outside.

I asked him why they were here. He said that he told them we were going out and they sort of invited themselves out.

They didn't bring out much besides some sandwiches and a bunch of beer. They didn't understand why we didn't have any of the water toys ready. THERE WAS STILL ICE ON THE LAKE. I asked my husband to tell them that we were not ready for guests and that they needed to leave or help. He wouldn't do it.

So I left. I said I needed to run to the store. I took my car and went to the grocery store five blocks from my house. It is an asian market with great sushi.

I think my husband expected me to just be going to the gas station a mile from the lake.

I left him out there to prep the house and deal with his guests. He is upset now that I left without telling him that I wasn't coming back. That he had to do all the work by himself. That he had to clean the house by himself. He said his family thought I was rude not to stick around and host.

I did not invite them. I told him that the house was not ready for guests. I told him that we did not have enough toilet paper for eight people. He knew that we only had food for the two of us for the weekend. I think it's his fault and his problem.

Should I have sucked it up and taken one for the team or am I the rear end in a top hat?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:34

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Yeah In New York you have to get by a lot of pedestrians who yell at you "I'm walking here!" But in Boston the only place you can park the car is Harvard Yard and it's far away from everything and always outta spaces

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:35

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

also I cannot loving fathom the mindset in which my partner texts me "going to hospital" or "need ambulance" or something like that and my reaction is anything other than to immediately drop what I'm doing and figure out how to get to where she is as fast as humanly possible

like gently caress, people, that seems like a low bar to clear

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:37

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

InediblePenguin posted:

just like how people from New York City are convinced that bodegas are so special that nobody in the rest of the country has ever seen a convenience store and cannot conceive of 'em, people from the UK are convinced that they're the only people in the world where the roads are rural and annoying to drive on. Do you think all of america is just straight line interstate highways with no small towns or villages? my dude you are misconceiving. People drive in Boston ffs

I once had a Facebook chat convo with a girl from Scotland who thought everyone in Texas rides horses to work, and asked me what that was like because it sounded so cool.

I did not humor the fantasy. I told her the truth that Texans drive cars like everybody else and shattered her dreams.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:38

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Yeah In New York you have to get by a lot of pedestrians who yell at you "I'm walking here!" But in Boston the only place you can park the car is Harvard Yard and it's far away from everything and always outta spaces

this is slightly less true nowadays but a fun thing about parking in manhattan was that unless it was a tow zone, a lot of times it was cheaper to just park wherever and get a ticket than to pay for a garage

seriously though, to the uninitiated, driving in NYC is mostly just about keeping your wits about you. Don't expect people to signal lane changes, don't turn right on red, don't stress about getting honked at, and understand that if you leave even the slightest room for someone to merge in front of you, they will. That's honestly like 99% of what you need to know

oh a corollary to "don't stress about getting honked at" is "don't block the intersection, even if everyone behind you is honking" that poo poo is like a $500 ticket

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:41

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

I've driven through Boston and taken a cab in Manhattan. Given the choice between the two to repeat, I'd rather ride the roof rack of the cab than drive in Boston again.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:44

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

Driving in Austin is a special kind of hell. Don't even get me started.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:55

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

mllaneza posted:

I'll give the GF a lot of credit for being there when OP woke up and for staying with him for the two-day stay.

You really really should not. The time for giving credit was when OP was trying to contact her with "holy gently caress please take me to the hospital"; blocking his number and continuing to party and only at 3am, getting home, going "oh poo poo he wasn't trying to ruin my evening, something he has never attempted to do before and I had no reason to think he would try to do" is way, way past the time for giving credit. This is 'desperate sucking up to avoid being broken up with' territory.

Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 04:56 on Apr 24, 2024

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:56

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

SyNack Sassimov posted:

This is not true because I have been informed Germany at some point in the past when NOTHING ELSE WAS GOING ON DO NOT ASK WHY OR WHO WAS IN CHARGE built the best highways and now you can go 300 mph on them and the point is don't loving ruin this for me I have to believe that there's something better in this world than our shittastic crumbling interstates, that there is a shining golden driving nirvana where I can see the needle on the speedometer actually go past half.

I mean we have flat straight roads. Very very straight. They had to start putting slight bends in them every so often in case people fell asleep.

n.b it�s still another 8 hours until the next major city, can�t stop yet

# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:57

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Snow Cone Capone posted:

also I cannot loving fathom the mindset in which my partner texts me "going to hospital" or "need ambulance" or something like that and my reaction is anything other than to immediately drop what I'm doing and figure out how to get to where she is as fast as humanly possible

like gently caress, people, that seems like a low bar to clear

Yeah holy loving poo poo. That's like the lowest bar on the planet. And she was FIVE minutes away, even if she thought it was a prank or something she could have gone back to partying after checking on him. It would be the smallest inconvenience if it was nothing.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 04:48

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Doesn't clubbing almost always involve drinking? Not sure why he expected her to be able to drive him anywhere. (she is still the rear end in a top hat)

# ? Apr 24, 2024 04:52

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Scathach posted:

Yeah holy loving poo poo. That's like the lowest bar on the planet. And she was FIVE minutes away, even if she thought it was a prank or something she could have gone back to partying after checking on him. It would be the smallest inconvenience if it was nothing.

Some geniuses on Reddit are bending over backwards to make him the rear end in a top hat because he pulled a "made you look" gag on her once and therefore she can never trust him again and clearly thought he was just joking now. Also she apologized and that means he has to take her back unconditionally.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 04:56

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

I. M. Gei posted:

Driving in Austin is a special kind of hell. Don't even get me started.

We're all dumbasses here but at least the cybertrucks are gonna be gone soon.

I have never actually driven in Boston but I have been a passenger in a car driving through Boston and sometimes I had to close my eyes because I was so sure we were about to get in a wreck.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:05

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

I mean, she could have ridden with him in the ambulance or called them both an Uber. I hope he doesn't take her back. Reddit just gets weirder and worse.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:06

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

There exists a certain subset of posters both on Reddit and elsewhere to whom the man is always at fault, forever, no matter what actually happened, and they cling to this with the rabid faith of MAGA people clinging to the cheeto. They will twist facts or outright ignore them if they cannot be changed to alter events so that it is Always His Fault.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:06

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

I mean ultimately the question is moot. He can never trust her now. Even if he says he does it's going to be living in the back of his mind for the rest of their relationship. He knows how important he is and it's less important than her and her friends.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:14

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

oh jay posted:

Doesn't clubbing almost always involve drinking? Not sure why he expected her to be able to drive him anywhere. (she is still the rear end in a top hat)

when people in incredible amounts of pain are screaming "someone help me" they're generally not concerned with the logistics

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:14

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

I like the little detail of how her first reaction upon getting home and seeing puke on the rig was annoyance and the penny didn't drop until she realized he was actually not there

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:17

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Deformed Church posted:

The stress of cheating on my wife is making me ill � but I can no longer suppress who I am

im starting to think he just has insomnia and gastro problems and should see a dr and get therapy

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:21

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

babypolis posted:

I dont see it at all, theres zero mention of any other guys while an incel would be hyper focused on that aspect

some people are just selfish

Yeah. Whilst big broad brush strokes include the incel story as described. Thos particular one lacks the details, and importantly, the spite to make it an incel story.

I read it as more a simple " I dont like you enough to put in the effort to do the sex stuff you want" and if so, OP was right to break up withher. For both their sakes.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:22

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Snow Cone Capone posted:

I like the little detail of how her first reaction upon getting home and seeing puke on the rig was annoyance and the penny didn't drop until she realized he was actually not there

Oh GREAT, mister "I'm in horrible pain, get me to a hospital" lost his guts all over the place. Fuckin' rear end in a top hat.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:22

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

DoubleNegative posted:

AITAH For telling my husband that his affair child is not welcome in our home and if he wants custody he will have to move out?

quote:
EDIT - For all the people concerned about what a whip cracker I am in making my poor husband work 2 jobs... He has never had a fulltime job since we have been together. He works 2 part time retail jobs now that add up to 40-50 hours a week.

Ohhh, this guy SCREWED himself

Snow Cone Capone posted:

this is slightly less true nowadays but a fun thing about parking in manhattan was that unless it was a tow zone, a lot of times it was cheaper to just park wherever and get a ticket than to pay for a garage

seriously though, to the uninitiated, driving in NYC is mostly just about keeping your wits about you. Don't expect people to signal lane changes, don't turn right on red, don't stress about getting honked at, and understand that if you leave even the slightest room for someone to merge in front of you, they will. That's honestly like 99% of what you need to know

oh a corollary to "don't stress about getting honked at" is "don't block the intersection, even if everyone behind you is honking" that poo poo is like a $500 ticket

Can someone compare driving in NYC vs. driving in New Jersey? I've never driven in New York City but a few years ago changed my attitude from "I hate driving in New Jersey" to "I need to practice driving in New Jersey" and it's made a huge difference. New Jersey drivers just come across as very skilled because they learned to drive in New Jersey and I have to be on my toes to keep up.

Anyway, content:

Help! I Reconnected With My Estranged Daughter�Only to Realize She�s Too drat Sensitive.
She wants me to grovel.

Oh no.

quote:

Dear Prudence,

I need advice on how to reconnect with my formerly estranged daughter. The two of us fell out badly in 2016, when I could no longer bear watching her disastrous life choices play out and she could no longer stand hearing my views on those choices. I made a lot of bad choices myself when I was younger (resulting in me being a single mother with two jobs and debt), and it was awful watching her throw away opportunities I�d worked like a dog to get for her. (For example, she turned down a scholarship to study computer science to pursue an expensive digital art qualification instead, then racked up debt moving away instead of staying home to study, work, and save.) Our biggest fallout came when she announced her engagement to �Nick,� a man with no job prospects and no ambition, who expressed that he would be content being a househusband and stay-at-home dad while my daughter essentially fully supported him.

When my daughter told me she was marrying this man with no degree but plenty of debt, I flat-out told her I would not pay for the wedding and did not approve. She screamed at me, and we did not talk again until this year, when she made contact over email to tell me she was pregnant and asked about reconnecting. I was excited about the idea and was cautiously happy about her pregnancy news since it seemed planned and she was not in the dire financial straits I had feared. When we met, however, things didn�t go well. I was shocked when I saw her: She had put on weight (far more than pregnancy weight at this stage), got a bizarre and unflattering haircut that I cannot believe her job allows, and was covered in tattoos. I said something about her looking very different, and she immediately snapped at me that if I had nothing nice to say, I shouldn�t say anything at all. I said I didn�t appreciate her speaking to me as if I was a child. She stood up and left the cafe without touching her drink, barely two minutes after we�d sat down.

Now I am left wondering if it is worth taking another shot at reconnecting at all, since apparently, she will disappear at a hair-trigger of tension. I want to send her an email asking about what happened but have no idea what to say. I suspect she will want a groveling apology (she has demanded these in the past), which I have no intention of writing, but I do wish to speak with her and, obviously, meet my grandchild at some point! Do I owe her an apology for the surprised reaction to her appearance? If I send an email, how do I strike the balance of a placating tone, reaching out, and not over-apologizing for something extremely minor? I miss her badly, despite our difficulties.

quote:
I�ve composed a text message to your daughter for you: �I want to apologize for my comments about your appearance when we met for coffee. I realize that my tendency to be critical of you is a large part of why our relationship fell apart in the first place. It�s a bad habit of mine, but I know you�re an adult now and don�t need my feedback�especially not when it can feel insulting. I miss you and really want to spend more time with you and be in my grandchild�s life, but I know that won�t work if I�m making you feel attacked. I�m committed to changing my behavior and want to ask you for another chance.�

Only you can decide whether you want to send that. If it feels like a �groveling apology� or �over apology� and if there is no part of you that actually agrees with what I�ve written, don�t. If the only relationship you�re going to enjoy with your daughter is one in which you don�t withhold any thoughts about her choices, her weight, or her approach to parenting and get to say whatever comes to your mind, you have the right to choose no relationship at all.

I hope that even if the idea of saying you�re sorry makes you roll your eyes, you decide to fake it until you make it. Send the text. The next time you see your daughter, whether she�s made a confusing change to her appearance or is doing something you think is irresponsible, don�t say anything. Bite your tongue when you feel moved to offer unsolicited observations or negative reactions, if only because you know your typical comments will lead her to get up and walk out again. Then spend regular time in therapy until you can authentically accept her for who she is, even when she does things that you don�t understand or agree with.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:25

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

poo poo, I had to go to the hospital the other night, I called the number we have locally to ask medical advice about how I was feeling and they were like "yeah, go in right now", and my husband had his shoes on and keys in hand before I even finished the call. That should be considered normal behavior.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:38

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

You cannot rely on someone who will automatically assume you're lying about needing help or having problems.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:44

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Having people not believe you or downplay your medical problems - or, my personal pet peeve, say things like �you�re too young for it to be that bad� - has got to be one of the most frustrating, debasing feelings one can feel

# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:49

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

My (33M) wife (34F) thinks my orgasms are gross. How do I handle this?

quote:

My wife and I have been married only 2 months. We dated 2 years and got married this year.

We don�t have any children and would like to have children one day. But my wife has suddenly and unexpectedly told me that she thinks when I orgasm I shouldn�t do it around her. She said specifically she thinks semen is �gross� and that it�s not important that I have an orgasm during sex.

We had sex once or twice a month leading up to getting married. I�d have liked more but I understand life gets in the way. But she would never want me to ejaculate. She would have her orgasm and usually says I can go finish myself in the bathroom or something. I�ve asked her to help me and she told me it�s not her responsibility for me to get me to orgasm. That she thinks semen is gross and unimportant.

When she mentioned the semen point I asked her how she thought we�d have kids and how she�d get pregnant if I didn�t have sex the normal way. She told me that it was rude to call it not normal and made her feel inadequate. But the part that shocked me was she said she�d prefer to go IVF and she�d like to choose a donor based on certain features she�d like �her kid� to have. She kept saying her kid, not ours or even acknowledge I�m part of this. She said that while she loves me she wants the best for her kid and wants the best donor she can find.

This is a complete 180 from what we discussed before getting married. She said I�m selfish for wanting my DNA for our kid. I�m honestly completely confused, she has never talked this way before we got married and never mentioned it.

I�m totally lost here. How do I explain that she changed almost overnight and she�s being unrealistic? I�m afraid she�s leading us down the route of a sexless marriage but then I feel so guilty for thinking she owes me something.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 06:18

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Having people not believe you or downplay your medical problems - or, my personal pet peeve, say things like �you�re too young for it to be that bad� - has got to be one of the most frustrating, debasing feelings one can feel

"How the gently caress would you know?" is a pretty satisfying comeback.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 06:18

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

trickybiscuits posted:

Can someone compare driving in NYC vs. driving in New Jersey? I've never driven in New York City but a few years ago changed my attitude from "I hate driving in New Jersey" to "I need to practice driving in New Jersey" and it's made a huge difference. New Jersey drivers just come across as very skilled because they learned to drive in New Jersey and I have to be on my toes to keep up.

I can't speak to New Jersey specifically but this is definitely a thing in a lot of cities with reputations for very unfriendly traffic. In areas with lower population density there are a bunch of people driving who probably shouldn't be but don't have any choice; in a real city they either learn in a hurry or stop driving, so you're left with people who are very serious about driving.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 06:32

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

Mordiceius posted:

AITA for leaving my husband at our lake house with his family.

Troublemaker posted:

Anyway, here's one of my favorite AITA genres, rear end in a top hat uninvited guests who expect to be waited on:

AITA for leaving my husband at our lake house with his family.

Tuesday again already?

# ? Apr 24, 2024 06:42

nonathlon: Jul 9, 2004; And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

Deformed Church posted:

The stress of cheating on my wife is making me ill – but I can no longer suppress who I am

Just from the style, I can tell this is from Pamela Stephenson-Conolly. Her answers are always the same: very short, very generic, "work through it with therapy"

# ? Apr 24, 2024 06:47

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

wheatpuppy posted:

Tuesday again already?

Buddy, it hasn't even stopped being Tuesday here yet

# ? Apr 24, 2024 06:50

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

trickybiscuits posted:

Ohhh, this guy SCREWED himself

Can someone compare driving in NYC vs. driving in New Jersey? I've never driven in New York City but a few years ago changed my attitude from "I hate driving in New Jersey" to "I need to practice driving in New Jersey" and it's made a huge difference. New Jersey drivers just come across as very skilled because they learned to drive in New Jersey and I have to be on my toes to keep up.

Anyway, content:

Help! I Reconnected With My Estranged Daughter�Only to Realize She�s Too drat Sensitive.
She wants me to grovel.

Oh no.

As someone who learned to drive and spent most time driving in NJ, I honestly get less stressed driving in NYC. NJ drivers are not great. My commute is 20 minutes and I routinely see significant amounts of a variety of terrible driving, including aggressive and distracted.

TBH, I feel like a lot of the generalized stereotypes of "city drivers be crazy" apply more to suburban drivers, at least here. Driving in NYC has structure, it's just weird structure. Driving in NJ is chaotic.

Also being in the immediate NYC suburbs means you get a good mix of NYC drivers and also CT drivers, who are real bad too.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:10

Jabor: Jul 16, 2010; #1 Loser at SpaceChem

If my partner said "please come home, my balls hurt" I would assume they were asking for sex and I would make a funny joke about it instead of actually heading back if I wasn't in the mood myself.

I'd probably ask them to clarify the situation instead of just blocking them if they were being oddly persistent about it or started talking about needing a ride to the hospital, though.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:12

sinnesloeschen: Jun 4, 2011; fiiiiiiinnnne

cat botherer posted:

also good at getting people to stay off train tracks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbqbxLWVEW8

what the hell this rules

# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:23

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Having people not believe you or downplay your medical problems - or, my personal pet peeve, say things like “you’re too young for it to be that bad” - has got to be one of the most frustrating, debasing feelings one can feel

So my issue was I got badly dehydrated due to a severe case of travellers diarrhea, and while most people were sympathetic, helpful, etc, I did have one person ask why I wasn't drinking water.

Who the gently caress said I wasn't? I was trying, okay, I was drinking a ton of water, electrolyte drinks, and my meals were juice because my appetite was like negative 100, and it simply wasn't enough to keep up because of how severe my case was. I got 2 liters of IV fluids, and it was administered in like an hour and a half. I have 8 liters of water in various bottles throughout my house so I can just keep loving drinking wherever I'm sitting even though my gut is like 80% normal now.

Why weren't you drinking water. Get hosed. Makes me so mad!

# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:24

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Another unwanted family reconcillator story. Fortunately, OP has a Pete-like spine.

AITAH for not trying couples therapy with my ex because she gave my number to my brother?

quote:

When I (25M) was 10 my mom passed away. My brothers were 19 and 23 at the time. None of my 'family' members took me in. Not even my brothers and I hated them all for it. While in foster care, we had the occasional call once in a while but I never enjoyed it. When I was 20 I still resented my 'family' so I just decided I needed a fresh start.

I left and didn't tell anyone, nor did I maintain contact. I started dating my ex-fianc�e (30F) when I was 22. She knew I wasn't in contact with my 'family' and that I was in foster care, but that's all she knew. My ex-fianc�e is an only child, and sometime last year she started bringing up the idea of getting in touch with my 'family', specifically my brothers because she doesn't want our future children to be deprived of a relationship with their uncles.

I always made it clear that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with my 'family' and that I'd appreciate it if she'd drop it. She 'dropped it' for a while, or led me to believe she did because two months ago, I got a text from an unknown number. It was my oldest brother. To keep this short, I blocked him but not before finding out that my fianc�e was the one who gave my number away. When I confronted her about it, she didn't deny it and told me that she was only trying to help me get over a grudge and kept pressuring me to give it a chance for her.

I wasn't in the mood to argue so I just broke up with on the spot. I had warned her before and she deliberately went behind my back and I didn't like that. She didn't react well to being broken up with and was genuinely mad at me. She requested couples therapy because she didn't mean no harm but I told her that I didn't really care and that my decision was final. She moved out a couple of days ago and her parents have told me that she has been crying non stop and have started begging me to give her another chance. They told me that I shouldn't have broken up with her because she promised she wouldn't do it again and she was "genuinely" trying to help me.

I never get tired of stories with the pattern:

A: If you do [that thing], I will break up with up
B: * does [that thing] *
A: I'm breaking up with you
B: (sobbing) H-how could you?!?

# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:29

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Here's a more traditional relationship "test" (the test is to see if OP is smarter than a turnip)

AITAH for refusing to have a joint bank account with my girlfriend?

quote:

My girlfriend and I recently moved in together, renting an apartment. Since things are starting to get serious, she proposed to open a joint bank account for us to use together. I am not opposed to open the account, if the reason is to use it to pay rent, bills, taxes and other shared expenses, but she wants it to be our only bank account where to put what she calls "our money", saying that doesn't matter who earns what, because we are a team.

I explained her that I have 3 separate bank account and 2 credit cards just for myself. I wouldn't keep a single account even for one person, let alone 2. I also explained my reasons, such as:

Security: In the event that one account gets hacked, only part of my money would be at risk, keeping the funds in the other accounts safe and at my disposal while I deal with the hacked bank.
Malfunctions: Sometimes it happens that there is a problem with one of the banks, causing their card to malfunction for a while. It's rare, but when it happens, some payments might fail and I want to have other cards to use as a backup.
Budgeting: I keep my money divided in budgets, so that it's easier for me to tell how much I should spend in what before the next pay day.

There are other reasons, but I don't want this post to become too long. By the way, I told her that I am willing to open a joint account with her, but I'm not going to close the others or to change where my income goes. Now she is upset with me and calls me an rear end in a top hat, so I wonder if I am being unreasonable...

A joint checking account with your girlfriend. Not wife, not fiancee, but girlfriend. And she wants to pool ALL of their money into it and have access to it. That's an impressively large red flag, hopefully OP stays strong in his resistance to the idea, and starts to see a clearer picture of exactly who his girlfriend is.

# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 02:45

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

wheatpuppy posted:

Tuesday again already?

Dammit I searched this thread for "lake house" and it found nothing! Bah!

# ? Apr 24, 2024 09:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: woke up and chose violence huh

«‹›153 »