- ApplesandOranges
- Jun 22, 2012
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Thankee kindly.
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If we’re posting old stories, here’s one that I like.
WIBTA for spraying some kid with my garden hose daily after he walks all over our lawn
quote:I (37M) live with my wife (37F) and son and daughter ( 9 and 11 respectively).
Recently, there has been this kid who comes by our house after playing soccer and either rides his bike or walks over the lawn with his cleats on his way home.
It started out as me giving him stern looks whenever I saw him, then it slowly progressed to me asking him to just go around.
The last time I asked him to stop he made a point to stomp extra hard and twist his feet in to the grass to piss me off.
Since then Ive just been hosing him. The first time I sprayed him with the hose he ran off, but then for some reason he just started standing there while I hose him like he enjoys it.
Its now progressed to me sitting on my lawn chair pointing my hose at him, and him just staring at me while he does so. Sometimes we even make small talk.
Im ngl, it started off as a really bitter relationship, but Ive actually gotten to know the kid quite well, we talk for maybe 15-20 mins everyday, and he doesnt seem to mind being hosed down after sweating hard playing soccer.
He comes by daily and we just shoot the poo poo while I hose him and he stands there for a bit.
Wife told me I need to stop, even after I explained it to her she said Im making us look like childish idiots.
I guess I could stop, but honestly it’s really funny waiting for him to come by and I see no harm in it. WIBTA?
Also, some new content:
AITA for continuing to be the "Disneyland dad"
quote:Hello everyone! I'm new to reddit so if I make mistakes here sorry in advance.
I am divorced from my wife "June" we have one daughter together "Clare". We divorced on bad terms after I lost my job in the pandemic. Came home to an empty house and a note saying she needed someone who could "give her the lifestyle she and Clare deserved." I didn't see Clare for a while aftbecause of pandemic restriction on court proceedings
However I was on of the lucky ones who came out of the pandemic better than I went in and im now in fantastic financialshape. I now have 50% custody of my daughter and am trying to make up for lost time. This means, since the world has opened up again, as long as Clare does well in school and helps a with her chores, the weekend she's with me , we will do whatever she wants, usury things like museums, movies, near-by national parks, festivals in our city, etc.
Yesterday I went to pick up my daughter from school and June and her husband were waiting there and asked to speak to me. They said that the businesses he used to run took a massive hit during the pandemic and have never recovered, and that it's meant they've had to scale back their lifestyle significantly, including June getting a job. They then informed me that June was pregnant and they didn't want my spoiling Clare to affect the relationship between the two kids, as they couldn't do the same for their baby. I told them I had no intention of changing how I raised Clare because she was great kid and deserves to be rewarded for her good behavior.
The conversation devolved from there with June finally screaming at me that I was just some "drat Disneyland dad using his money to get back at her"
At the time I didn't think I was wrong but since talking to my girlfriend and some friends in child education, I'm wondering if I am the rear end in a top hat for setting my daughter and her half sibling up for conflict?
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Apr 17, 2024 02:51
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 17, 2024 01:59
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- Obnoxipus
- Apr 4, 2011
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Oh good, I found my old favorite classic. Spoilers placed in case people here haven't read it yet.
Me [32F] with my husband [35 M] of 6 years, went back on his word to invest in me
quote:Hello! I thought about posting this on /r/financialadvice but this is more about my relationship with my husband and my feelings. My husband is a surgeon, who makes quite a lot of money. We're comfortable, but always wanted to retire early. I've had jobs in the past but very low paying and I've never really found a career, but I've always known that I wanted to run my own business.
Four years ago, we made an agreement. He would fund my getting a degree in business, and support us both while I was a full time student. When I got my degree I would start a business, with money from his salary we've been saving for this. Then I would run the business, and when it's successful enough he could retire.
I graduated last semester! =) I'm so happy, it was so much work. While I was a student, my husband and I would always point out businesses, and he'd say "look how well that shoe store is doing you could do that" or I'd say "look at that Chipotle I could run a Chipotle" and it's been really fun for us, but we both always agreed that I'd be the one deciding on the business, because I'd be the one with a business degree. When I need a heart valve replaced I'll call my husband, but I'm the one that knows business, he always loved that.
Well, I found my project, I thought of it while I was walking our Pekingese, and I came home I was so excited, I told him I wanted to start a specialty online shoe store for dogs. This isn't /r/financialadvice so I wont dwell on it but it's like Heely's for dogs, with little heel skates, but the sneakers also light up when they walk. I'm 110% sure this would make a lot of money.
But my husband wont support me. He told me we would use our savings to invest in my business when I got my degree, and he still says he will, but not THAT business. We always agreed it was my decision what business I start, and he said LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT THAT. He thought I was kidding but now he gets upset whenever I push it.
Part of me thinks he can't bare for his wife to start making more money than him. I'm worried that he can't go through with the plan because he doesn't want the financial security that'll let him retire early. I don't think he has to retire early it was his idea. I don't know I'm spitballing.
Reddit, what do I do? Do I just go ahead with setting up the business? How do I talk to him about it in a way that wont upset him. I'm really worried our marriage is being really hurt by this.
tl;dr: Husband and I made an agreement, I go to school, get a degree, start a business, he can retire early. Now he doesn't want to because he doesn't like the business.
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Apr 17, 2024 03:02
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- DoubleNegative
- Jan 27, 2010
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The most virtuous child in the entire world.
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The one that lives rent free in my head is the guy who was adamant that upon being adopted, children will magically get the DNA of their adoptive father.
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Apr 17, 2024 03:42
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I want to know what a "Tickler" is
Its the new mysterious loner hero introduced halfway into the season who helps team up to fight the big bad
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Apr 17, 2024 03:45
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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Since we're feeling nostalgia for classic posts, here's my all time favorite one about open relationships
My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.
quote:So, me and my gf started dating roughly a year ago. It's a grey spot as to when we really started dating or I'd give an exact date.
So, three months ago, my gf comes to tell me she'd like to have an open relationship, experiment a little, etc. She's only slept with one guy before me, she wants to know what's out there, yatta yatta. Yeah, I was hurt, I expressed that I wasn't super keen on it, but she insisted. I figured she probably has someone lined up, and it's not like I plan to marry this girl, so whatever. Be free.
I lamented for a few days until my ex messaged me. She wanted to meet up, get some closure, cool beans. We go out, we talk a bit, she just got out of a relationship and I explain I'm apparently in an open one. She gave me a semi-pained look because she (and my gf) are aware of how much I value monogamy. We stayed and talked for a few more hours, I went to her place things almost got intimate and I stopped her until she mentioned it was an open relationship now. I nodded and didn't really not want sex, so we did it.
It really restored my confidence and helped me start to get into the open relationship thing. I'm a bi top so I ended up reinstalling grindr and haven't had a night where I can't find somethibg or someone to do. My gf and I occasionally had sex, and we still spoke to each other and stuff, but I never really mentioned who or how many people I was sleeping with. Afterall, she said this was about freedom, and I feel free as a bird. I still get to experience emotional comfort, affection, etc. With my gf and try new things and meet new people.
About two months ago I stopped feeling so depressed all the time and I started to work out more since one of the guys I've been sleeping with is really into yoga and cardio and asked if I'd like to get into it. I've lost a little over 20lb since and I'm still overweight but I physically feel much better.
Today, my gf shes really happy about the way things are and I couldn't have agreed more. I gave her a kiss and got up to go meet up with a girl my ex introduced me to. She really sweet, cute, overall a very fun person. The only other girl I've slept with since this started was my ex. I learned today I'm into a new kink and left after it was over. I walk into the house and gf is all over me. I start to undress, she start to give me head and stops 3 seconds in and asks me where I'd just been. I explain what happened and she gets up and tells me when need to talk.
I get dressed, sit on the couch with her, and she asks me if I've been sleeping with other people. I was like, yeah no poo poo it's an open relationship. She asked how many and I said I wasn't keeping track. Apparently that's the wrong loving answer because she burst into tears. She's only slept with two other dudes and it was just so she knew what her options were. I explained that she was free to do that and during that time I explored my options as well. She asked how many women I'd slept with. I said 2. She got mad and started screaming at me as to how I could lose count at two. I probably should have shut up right then and there, but instead I said, "Because I'd have to add the dudes in."
She went to the bedroom and cried for a while. About an hour ago she came out and demanded I: close the relationship, never speak to anyone I've been sleeping with again, and never talk about it again or she'd leave me.
????? I genuinely don't understand what she expected. She knew I was bi when we were just friends of friends. Why does it matter who I sleep with? I was genuinely enjoying being free like she told me to and I assumed she was too. It's not like I slept with her friends or anything, it was mostly dudes. And as much as I enjoy her companionship, I like the freedom this entails and I like having someone to work out with. I like learning about what I enjoy sexually. I'm having fun the EXACT way she asked me to. It's not like she wasn't sleeping with those guys frequently, so I don't get why she's upset. Why is what I did not okay?
UPDATE: My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.
quote:So, she came home at 12am to tell me she'd completed her "last hurrah" and was ready to talk. When I asked her what she meant she stated she slept with someone else for the last time and she was willing to call things even. She restated the terms, meaning I'd lose my workout buddy, the sweet girl I met today, my ex who cheered me up, and a few other dudes who I now speak to casually who I've slept with. I said I wasn't sure and I had some questions for her and she was willing to at least talk about things. I asked her if the two men she'd slept with she'd lined up before and she said yes. She admitted she found them more physically attractive than me and that was her motivation for it, that she, "didn't want to live life never knowing what it's like." When I asked her what she meant, she meant sleeping with someone who was fit. I was a little hurt, but I knew she wasn't really "wrong" so to speak. I'm not fit, it's something I'm working on, but I'm a little upset that her motivation had nothing to do with exploration and freedom outside of visuals. That it wasn't the sex but my body. That it wasn't even my personality, but the way I look and how much I weigh. I'd like to take a second and point out I actually weigh less than her overall. I'm 6'2" and 255lb and she's 5'3" 305lb. I've never had an issue with her weight, even the things that we couldn't do as a result didn't bother me.
She admitted she didn't think I could, and I quote, "con anyone into sleeping with you". She went on to say she doesn't understand how someone would want only to sleep with me and not the emotional stuff. I won't lie, I got mad, and I said some mean and vindictive things to hurt her because I felt hurt. I shouldn't have lost my cool and I did. I've posted the mean things she's said, so I don't feel it's right for me not to admit what I said. I told asked her how she managed to get these guys to sleep with her more than once and that lying down like the beached whale she was and gargling on her own spit was far from my ideal sexual partner but I never decided I'd rather gently caress someone else because of it. Apparently it hit too close to home because one of the guys would't talk to her anymore and the other dude told her she needed to be more proactive in bed. She called me a f****t and I told at least men want me to gently caress them and she started to crying. We yelled at each other for a while until it turned into me yelling at her while she cried until I left.
I realized how much more hurt I was about the whole open relationship thing and really unloaded on her. A lot of you liked to point out that I didn't plan to marry her, I want to remind you all this was 9 months into a relationship at 20 years old that I said yes. I'm not the brightest, but I don't think normally 20 year old men are planning to marry someone that early on when I don't have any real money or my own house and my car is a beater. I genuinely cared about her and before this I was planning to get an apartment with her. I'd saved up money and took her somewhere nice every month despite not having a lot of money. I'd participated in the relationship in ways I'd never felt compelled to before until she asked for an open relationship. I stayed up the first night alone crying because she didn't come home and she had the dude pick her up from her place while I was over and asked me to watch her place while she was gone. I kept thinking about if she got pregnant with someone else's kid and it tore me up. I didn't even feel like a man anymore. I said the next few days my ex messaged me, but when I look over the text and call logs it was two full weeks of me just going to work, coming home, and going to bed. I was hurt that my ex noticed how broken I was over this and that my girlfriend had bragged about how much fun she'd had her first night. It was a deep visceral pain that I buried with sex and I was so drat mad she had the audacity to be hurt over it. How dare she hurt me like that and then get mad at me for just to regain my confidence and make the best of things. I was furious, and it all spilled out at once.
I'm home, my roommate is home and he's making some cake and tea for us to eat and talk because I'm a mess right now. My workout buddy is coming over and offered to sleep (like, cuddling, not sex) with me tonight because he knows how much I was hurt about this. He's actually pulling in the drive way right now.
I'll try to respond to comments but I don't know how much longer we'll be up.
Tl;Dr We had a nasty breakup and I'm safe and at home with people.
Edit: I get she's my ex and all, but you guys really don't have to insult her weight. It was poor mannered of me to take that jab at her and it's not very kind. Although I don't think being overweight should be glorified (or normalized for that matter), but it's not very nice. Call people out for the things they say and the way they behave, not their appearance.
Edit 2: "he slept with 2 girls and some men from grindr. Obviously he's an incel" I think the word you're looking for is slut. I have low standards for looks and I offer to supply the weed in hookups, I could be 700lb and smell like anchovies and people would show up. Plus I offer to cook food for people and make breakfast for them if they spend the night, like I'm doing rn for workout bro since he has work in a few hours.
Final Edit: I love you all, except for that dude who told me my life will be an eternal hell for my sins and debauchery or something like that. I'm going to take a nap since I woke up to make gymbro food after like 2 hours of sleep. He'll be coming over later today to hang out. I'm much better but still very tired. Muah, be safe and use rubbers!
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Apr 17, 2024 05:14
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- FMguru
- Sep 10, 2003
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peed on;
sexually
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If we are doing classics, I want to add this one, which has probably my favorite three word phrase across the entirety of all the r/r and r/aita and etc. stories I've read
AITA For Telling My Cousin They Will Have to Pay Rent?
quote:Backstory: I (31F) purchased my 3-Family home from our grandparents 4 yrs ago well below market value. My Grandparents wanted to retire to Florida and wanted to keep their house in the family. The house was worth a lot more then I could afford alone. So I talked to my cousins and said, “Hey if we purchase it, we can fix it up and rent it out. We could then split the rent 7 ways for residual income.” They all turned me down and said they didn’t want the old, lovely house. I spoke with my grandparents and expressed interest. They offered to sell it to me for way less than market value and I could use the remaining money to renovate. I decided to rent the top two apartments for a reasonable price and live in the smallest unit.
My little brother and his friends live on my first floor. They pay less than market rent. Two months ago my top floor tenant let me know she wouldn’t be renewing her lease in October since her fiancé got a job offer in another state and they are expecting.
Issue: One of the cousins I had gone to found out and wants to move out of her small 2 bedroom apt and into the 4 bedroom, so her, her husband and son have more space. Both their jobs will remain from home and they want offices. I said sure and offered her $250 below market value. She got irritated and started ranting that I shouldn’t ask her to pay anything because this is a family home. I said myself and little brother pays to live here. She said not her problem, that I owed it to her since I stole the house. She then threatened to take me to court and rally up the other cousins and say that I got the house through fraud and our grandparents weren’t in the right mind. She said the only way she wouldn’t is if I let her live there rent free until they want to move or I pay them her share of the house. I laughed and told her she could now either pay the market value, stay in her tiny rear end overpriced apartment or pay market rate somewhere else. She then said that I was a money hungry Bitch. So I told her stay cramped bitch and hung up.
She has now told the whole family and is trying to get all cousins involved to sue me for their “Fair Share” of the house’s worth. The family is split with some saying she can kick rocks and others saying I shouldn’t be charging family rent as I got the house for extremely cheap. Even my friends are divided because on paper it looks like I did take advantage but I am not sure. Honestly I could afford for everyone to live there rent free and they only pay utilities but I don’t want to.
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Apr 17, 2024 05:21
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- oh jay
- Oct 15, 2012
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If we're doing alltimers
TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off
quote:A little back story; when I first started having sex I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.
I searched love making songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm.
There are a few songs to my playlist. However there is one song in particular, which actually happens to be my favourite, that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way.
I don’t understand why it has taken her two years to tell me she hates that song, it’s a good love making song with good rhythm. I feel the way I hosed up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or any songs she’d like to add/change. But to leave it for two years thinking our sex life is great but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I’m a bit annoyed.
I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it, when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways.
Not to mention my previous partners, however they never complained about the song so maybe it’s just her?
It’s hosed up the relationship tbh because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop.
I thought this song was perfect and I always thrust along with the tune and feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed to. I usually bust to this song and find it devastating she hates the song.
the song itself
TL;DR She hates my love making tunes and didn’t tell me for over two years making sex now awkward.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAwyWkksXuo
TIFU - Posting on Reddit about our sex life with CBAT and now our relationship has ended
quote:Ok this exploded more than I expected, and has been a bit overwhelming with the messages but thought I’d give an update.
The attention hasn’t been exactly positive and this hasn’t been the best thing to happen for my relationship and it’s now sadly ended.
I didn’t expect it to blow up so much, I should of used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages.
There aren’t many 25 year old Tyler Life’s who are in a relationship with their s/o for 2 years who is 20.
Unfortunately her younger sister recognised this and showed her parents who wasn’t happy at all and made the situation extremely awkward.
What made it more awkward, and cemented the fact that it was me, is that they recognised the song. Once at a family dinner we were discussing music tastes and my ex girlfriend stated that I have an odd taste in music. Everyone laughed and pressed me to play something from my phone of what I like as music, to which I then blessed their ears with CBAT.
Her father laughed and said it was terrible, I guess we all have different tastes. Although I nodded in agreement at the time, I was thinking in my head that this is a great loving song.
We are over now and I am moving on. I already revealed my face on tiktok, but with the amount of hate I originally got I decided to say I didn’t have it and backtracked.
I don’t think the song is that bad and I had no idea she didn’t like it until recently and as soon as I did I stopped. I didn’t force her CBAT, not all can handle CBAT, I know it’s different.
I know a lot have asked for face reveal and playlist. My playlist I actually burned onto a CD and have been using my CD player. But I’ll go on YouTube and try link all the songs in one playlist and share.
TL;DR Made Reddit post and finished our relationship
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Apr 17, 2024 05:29
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- hawowanlawow
- Jul 27, 2009
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I like the one with the sheet wall and headphones to watch gamer thrones
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Apr 17, 2024 05:31
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- ApplesandOranges
- Jun 22, 2012
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Thankee kindly.
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I know it’s an old post but I like “Muah, be safe and use rubbers!”
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Apr 17, 2024 05:32
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- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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Every so often I think about the guy who thought twins take twice as long to cook inside their mother as a single baby would
I swear I posted it at least once if not twice but I can't find it on the forums or google search...
AITA for asking wife to abort 1 twin?
quote:ok so i am a 45 yrs old male, she is 37 females. i came home from job. wife came home from a appointment with the doc. says twins. this was news to me. we had not considered the possibilly of twins. my wife was a bit nervous i can tell but excited by the surprise anyways. i start to feel like a raccoon in a room filled with rocking chairs, not sure if abortion is an option where i am. so i start doing research, we live in Alabama and my wife is a bit over 6 weeks pregnant. in Alabama abortion is legal until about 21 weeks. ok good, so, we have plenty of time to think. im a intellectual minded kind of person, talking things over helps me personally, even if she made up her mind on keeping the twins. its ok. i just want to talk about our options.
me: ok i want you to abort one of the twins as i am concerned about our fiscal wellbeing of having twins, how long you are going to be pregnant, the safety of the twins once born, our time spent into taking care of both twins, lots of potential fighting between twins, unwanted attention from strangers, double time spent if both twins get sick, never alone time with one child. it would seem logical to abort 1 of the twins. it is either that or we need to prepare for the outcome of twins. (these are all my points, backed up with strong arguments when i spoke to her).
her: agrees with financial point says we can talk about that, but rest of my reasons are stupid. says i am an idiot. (???)
me: i explain points again. if 1 twin sick, the other will 100% as they spend all their time together. first time parents, having 2 right away increases chances 1 gets hurt, twin proofing the house, and i go on with more back up arguments. it is all genuine concerns. we have a bit more back and forth, she is trying to shove my concerns, but all i want is a civil discussion, not to be verbally shoved and called stupid.
her: she starts crying. says im the biggest idiot on the planet. she says she knew something wasnt right. stuff like that. she starts shoving things in her purse and gets out of the house. goes to her mothers. all every dramatic and i am flabbergasted.
we had a very long discussion before pregnancy, but now that she is pregnant with unexpected twins i am not allowed to put anything in the tip jar? i reckon shell be back when she is hopefully is willin to talk. i am fretting over options going. we have lived our hole lifes in Alabama so we dont have any residence outside of here so if we need to leave the state for an abortion past 21 weeks, may not be allowed... i am fine with no abortion (honestly i prefer it, dont want her going through struggle of abortion) but this discussion must happen. i am all about open dialogue and sharing smart ideas. even if she has her mind set on having twins. am i the ahole in the context that i should not speak about abortion to a women who is pregnant? i want to chat while we still have our options on the stump...not fair for her to call me stupid for fretting over surprise twins.
Edit: making edit so people know, always mention twin. I think I ruined life that way. I still don't see how I am ahole as everyone says... Always mention twin.
Then they go deeper and deeper
quote:how does it make sense for 1 baby needing 9 months but multiple babies only require a few months? sorry but there is a obvious flaw in ur logic. cite some studies if you are going to make claims like this.
ridiculous.
quote:but how? with the number of people saying this, i am starting to think i may be wrong but no one has provided me a good enough explanation?
can anyone here safely say that if asked on the spot tomorrow by their doctor whether twins take 9 months and to support your position with facts, are you 100% sure your doctor will say "your position is correct and the way you think it works is correct". i am assuming, unless you are a doctor or have given birth to twins, you would not be able to support your reasoning. what would i do if i was asked? "i would say logically i believe twins take more than 9 months but i have no proof to back that up, because honestly i do not know for sure."
it is fine to have the opinion that twins take 9 months, but to act so sure and pretend like its common sense, without anyone here, besides doctors, knowing the reason why twins take 9 months, is ridiculous.
pretend you are an alien and someone from earth is teaching you about pregnancy, they tell you that 1 baby takes 9 months to be born. you mention that some women carry 2 babies at the same time. that human has a follow up question for you. how long it does take for 2 babies to be born? you, the alien, would assume that it would be 18 months (because 9 + 9 = 18). this is because this follows a LOGICAL line of thinking. it is basic math. now obviously, there may be other factors at play here (which it appears you and others are trying to say), but that does not change the fact that a person who is not a doctor and who has not given birth to twins (me), can not be blamed for thinking that twins take 18 months. it is consistent with logic, the only way you can find out that twins take less than 18 months is if you are in the "know". and seeing how i have not heard the word "twin" uttered since high school (about 30 years ago), do you really think, if i was wrong, that you can blame me for thinking that twins take longer? we all have our own ways of learning and interpreting the world and you are lacking perspective. we both live totally different lives, have met different people, have experienced different things. me and you are different. you can not say "everyone should know this". you know what you know through your experiences. this is a common philosophy trope but try thinking of it like this. you see the letter 6, it is so obvious that it is the letter 6. but i see the letter 9 because i am standing adjacent of you (on the other side of the letter 6). we both can scream and shout all day about who is right, but in the end, the only person who knows what letter that really is are the people who made it. please try to consider other perspectives.
i will repeat, you may be right, as there appears to be a consensus (but consensus does not equal fact) in that thread that all babies take 9 months. i hope you can see the world through my eyes for once.
quote:it is up to the person making the claim to cite their sources.
all i am saying is that if 1 baby takes 9 months to form, 2 babies do not also take 9 months to form. that goes against logic in my opinion.
but again, i have personally never given birth and am not a doctor so i do not know the logistics to all of this, so i will admit i am speaking off the cuff, but logically can you see how it does not make sense?
quote:and how is this common knowledge? i have NEVER heard anyone say that twins take 9 months. where are you hearing this? i know that 9 months for 1 baby, so logically 2 babies is more than 9.
what did the quote i got from google mean then? it was talking about menstrual period. do you have any peer reviewed studies about this saying that gestational period means that twins take 9 months to be born?
if it is true that that she will only be pregnant for 9 months, that is a relief. takes away 1 stress of mine. but i dont like to have high expectations. sorry, if this is true, i understand how i may be sounding ignorant but understandingly look at it from my perpsective. 1 baby = 9 month logically right? how much are 2 babies? you wouldnt say 9 months as well right? that would be like saying 1 + 1 = 2 and 1 + 2 = 2. it doesn't make sense. the variable of 1 baby has changed, it is now 2. so the end result number changes as well. if you get what i mean? getting a bit tired so my words may be jumpy
quote:i dont think the word "twins" has crossed my mind in over 30 years, and definitely not before she was pregnant. why didnt she talk about twins? why am i solely responsible? i understand that i am at fault for not mentioning twins before, but by extension so is she. twins are extremely rare. did everyone in this thread talk about twins before getting pregnant?
if we are unable to have twins should we have not gotten pregnant in the first place? okay how about if we had triplets? or quadlets? where does your logic end? please dont use strawmans. that means no one except the most wealthy in america can have babies because no one can afford quadlets off the bat.
quote:"poor written skills" i can type just fine, but it is faster to type in the way that i do. i have no reason to show off to anyone. you can still understand me perfectly.
i am worried about the length of pregnancy for 1 reason. because my wife says we are not allowed to get intimate while she is pregnant, i was not sure of the reason but i did not press her for a reason (first time dad so i assume that maybe it is the norm to stop intimacy during pregnancy?) i told her that is okay and i respect her wishes. but now that i know she has twins this would need a another look at as the circumstances have changed.
please tell me where i have poor reasoning skills? what do you believe are the pros and cons of having twins? do you just think its cool or hip to have twins and theres no cons? i am happy to go with a debate with you. i will put my pros and cons (after birth) below.
pros of having twins: its cool, unique, exciting, and they always have a friend.
in my opinion the cons of having twins (after birth): a lot of fighting between twins, a lot of unwanted attention in public, difficult for first time parents adjusting to 2 babies right off the jump, if one gets sick, the other will get sick as well due to close quarters between the two at all times (we are both working parents and Alabama only gives us 12 weeks of material leave!!!! barely 2 months. and i dont even know if that applies to fathers who go from job to job!!!), maybe personal grief internally in mothers head? i cant imagine what having twins does to you phyiscally and emotionally. not something a man can relate to i think. also the idea that maybe we make a mistake on parenting? maybe i or her say wrong thing to the twins and dont get a doover with future baby.
everyone processes things differently, i have still not yet begun to process the idea of having 2 babies. i need to talk to someone to help me. if i can imagine a future with twins (like how do you handle being first time parents with twins, etc.) i can better accept the idea. i dont care about the abortion. she can pick to abort both tomorrow, or keep both. she choice. i wont say a word. i just want to talk.
i will say it again, i am 100% okay with having twins. we can have twins and i believe we can get through this. but i just want to talk about the cons above, how are we going to prepare will help me envision this future. this is a future i was not expecting. this is overwelming for me and you guys are being so mean to me. it hurts to read what everyone is saying
quote:5% of pregnancies are twins? is that 5 out of 100? i think your statistic may be off. i live in a small town but it has well over 100 people and i have not met 1 twin.
also, 5 out of 100 makes no sense. why would the number of twins be an odd number?
quote:women in the past have been heavily oppressed. but just because women were treated like that for years did not make it okay. so are you saying that just because plenty of women get by with only 2-3 months of unpaid material leave makes it ok? that is such bullshit.
just because stupid bullshit has been happening forever does not mean stupid bullshit should continue or should be called anything but stupid bullshit.
pregnancies dont take 9 months if you have 5 babies in the womb. how on earth does that make sense? if 5 babies took 5 months than that would mean most women would come to term in 4 months of pregnancy with a single baby. obviously that is not the case. the full 9 months are needed for best case development. how would a body be able to get all 5 babies ready in only 9 months? how many cords (the things that attaches to the belly buttons) women have? women only have 1 belly button so theres only 1 cord at a time for the baby. so i can not physically imagine multiple sources of food to the babies. unless somehow the cord splits? i am not a doctor so i will be honest and say i am not entirely sure but i suspect what happens in the womb is that cord switches between the babies to keep them alive and thus the time increases since babies are developing slower. i may be wrong on the process of this so dont take my word for it, (just my personal theory), but i am 99% sure that multi pregnancies take longer than singular. theres no way a women's body can properly maintain 1) her own body 2) baby #1 3) baby #2 24/7 for 9 months straight. it would appear there would need to be an increase in time given for the babies to develop without the body becoming overwhelm with things to do. and maybe more babes if we are thinking of more than twins. if you have any evidence against this i am happy to hear it, but this just does not make sense from a logical perspective.
is there a free version of that book? i am interested in reading it if so.
To the surprise of no one this 45 year old man lives in Alabama.
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Apr 17, 2024 05:57
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- snergle
- Aug 3, 2013
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A kind little mouse!
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The one that lives rent free in my head is the guy who was adamant that upon being adopted, children will magically get the DNA of their adoptive father.
for me its the him and hers cheese bags. i love cheese but im notting eatting it right out of the bag i put it on stuff and i dont eat it in bed
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Apr 17, 2024 06:33
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- Blue Moonlight
- Apr 28, 2005
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Bitter and Sarcastic
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I swear I posted it at least once if not twice but I can't find it on the forums or google search...
AITA for asking wife to abort 1 twin?
To the surprise of no one this 45 year old man lives in Alabama.
God I had forgotten the bit about the umbilical cord being a USB-C cable between the mother and babby’s belly buttons.
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Apr 17, 2024 06:50
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Sub guy, Soup Tubes, Ketchup Rent Skit, and Sandwich Millionaire are my favorite food-based /r/relationship stories.
Party sub:
AITA because I ate more than "my share" of a 6 foot party sub last night?
quote:
What I thought would be a total non issue has ballooned into a huge problem and I'm up at 7:05 AM dealing with it. I figured while I wait for a text, I could post here to see if what I did was really that bad.
I'm a big fat rear end, there's no way around it. I love to eat which probably borders on addiction but I figure since I'm only hurting myself it's probably better to just live my life. I have some great friends although there is no doubt I'm the "harmless, funny token fat guy" of the otherwise pretty good looking group. I guess that sets the stage enough.
Last night my friend hosted UFC and I was invited. He got a 6 foot party sub. I also brought homemade wings that are sort of my specialty. Well of course people flocked to the food and I had basically one serving of the sandwich but people devoured my wings and I didn't get to have a single one. Which is totally fine that's why I brought them but maybe an hour later I was starving. I kept eyeing the sandwich and I'd say there was about 3 feet of it left. I waited an hour, then another half hour and no one had touched it (but they were still munching on chips, pretzels and what not). So I was like screw it...I took about half of what was left and ate it. Then the last half sat for another 10-15 minutes and no one said anything so ate the rest.
Well to be sure as I was swallowing the last bite the host's girlfriend asked where the sandwich was. Like I was the guilty party pretty much everyone pointed at me. I guess they'd noticed me eating the sandwich. She was furious and said that I was an incredible pig and that I had been super selfish to eat 3 feet of a sandwich. I felt so bad I tried to explain to her that I really did wait over an hour and thought people had lost interest. I also tried to explain how everyone had ate my wings and she said something along the lines of "you brought them to share Alan, if someone had eaten over half by themselves that's not loving sharing is it?"
I offered to order pizza or even go get subways and she said that it was a pathetic offer because the party sub had been from a local shop owned by her friends. I said I was sorry but the night was so tense from then on out.
I woke up this morning to several texts from my twin sisters (the host's girlfriend's best friends) saying that I had to get my poo poo under control and that everyone is really mad at me and that I embarrassed myself last night. I tried to explain to them what my mindset had been and they haven't responded.
Was I the rear end in a top hat for eating that much of the sandwich last night?
Edit: I guess I’ve been banned from responding but my inbox has 1200 notification so I can’t find out why.
To answer what seems to be the most common misconception, this wasn’t a subway party sub so definitely not 4x the size of a regular sub. This is a local place so it’s about 1.5 times the width of a regular sub. Its still a ton of food don’t get me wrong but I can down 5 subway footlongs in an afternoon easily; this is probably about equivalent to that, not 12 like some people are saying.
The themes present in the sandwich:
AITA for trying to sell my sandwich recipe to various deli's in my town?
quote:Recently I came up with what I think is a very delicious and innovative sandwich recipe. The ingredients compliment each other beautifully even though the combination is unique.
I came up with a basic business idea to generate some extra money from this sandwich. The city I live in has a lot of deli's, old school kind of places and also newer "hipster" kind of places and everything in between. I have been approaching the managers at these deli's with the following proposal:
For a one-time fee of $50 I will sell them the recipe and also conduct a training session for their staff on how to properly make the sandwich and also to educate them on the themes present in the sandwich. Then, I will take a 20% cut of the the price for each sandwich sold. (So let's say just 1 deli took my deal, and they charged $10 for my sandwich, and they only sold 10 of them per day. I'd make $140 per week ($190 the first week with my fee) and basically $560 per month. From ONE place. But to be honest I have faith my sandwich would probably sell around 40-50 per day given the volume of customers and the quality of my sandwich, so you do the math. Plus I'd be having more than one deli sell it...ka-ching!)
I have approached 11 deli managers so far and every one so far has said no, and a few of them have even acted weird or even rude to me on the matter. Twice I got into a slight argument based on the interaction. They don't seem to understand the value of my sandwich, I think maybe many of them are too proud to take on a recipe from an outsider, but I feel I am being reasonable.
When I explained to my friends what I am doing and that I intend to keep approaching deli's on this matter, many of them claimed I was being an rear end in a top hat by doing this. They think it is rude basically to ask a deli to sell my recipe and that I shouldn't fight for my dreams. I think my terms are generous and I am really only helping these deli's if they would only open their minds, if they sold my sandwich their profits would grow measurably even after I take my cut. Is it really that rude to try to sell my recipe? My friends are threatening to not go to lunch with me anymore because I have promised them I will try to sell my recipe when we do so, but all I am doing is trying to hustle. This has caused interpersonal conflict because I defend my dreams with passion, which leads to my friends accusing me of overreacting. (And yes I am passionate when I try to sway deli managers too, I even cried once, but it is with their own interest in mind not just my own.)
AITA?
quote:Maybe I am not explaining something correctly, but the clever part of my business plan is that with this method I do not have to expend any funds on things like location rental, employee wages, supplies, etc. Yes if I opened a shop I could charge more for the sandwich, but those expenses would eat into it.
With my business model I am basically selling my expertise and recipe (an intellectual property) and I do not have to make any expenses at all. My 20% might be a low fee, but it is pure profit with no deductions at all. In the end it adds up to a very nice income, particularly after I sign up a few deli's.
Now, keep in mind this is advantageous to the deli as well, this helps them. They keep 80% of the profit and they get increased customers as word of mouth spreads about their new sandwich. I am driving business to them they otherwise would not have. The income I drive to them would more than cover the extra ingredients they have to buy.
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Apr 17, 2024 06:53
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- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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If we are doing classics, I want to add this one, which has probably my favorite three word phrase across the entirety of all the r/r and r/aita and etc. stories I've read
AITA For Telling My Cousin They Will Have to Pay Rent?
quote:Update: Thank to everyone for the advice and awards. Many asked for an update, so here is a quick one.
I got an Attorney and my grandparents got one. I received all the documentation as well as a clean bill of health and mental state. My cousins got an Attorney who sent me a request to mediate before going to the courts. We met Monday. Their Attorney seemed confident almost trying to rush us to settle. They demanded that the property’s current value be divided by 7. I jumped in and added by 8 since my brother is now an adult. There lawyer was very aggressive and rude until my Attorney pulled out all the emails, text messages and the Will documents. Apparently, my grandparents kept all that paperwork with their Will because the house originally was supposed to be an inheritance and they wanted to make sure that when they updated their Will, all the appropriate steps were taken to ensure that it was removed and fully mines. Needless to say their Attorney wanted out of there faster than a mouse. Currently it we are rescheduled to discuss further next month once all the documents have been reviewed on their side.
As I was leaving, the poo poo Started made a comment that I wasn’t a legitimate grandchild and to ask my spoiled mother what she meant by that. That story will be for another time and sub. However some 50 yr old family secrets have spilled out over this. My grandparents have gone no contact with 3 cousins.
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Apr 17, 2024 07:30
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- Troublemaker
- Mar 12, 2007
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I swear I posted it at least once if not twice but I can't find it on the forums or google search...
AITA for asking wife to abort 1 twin?
Then they go deeper and deeper
(12 weeks is indeed 3 months not barely 2)
To the surprise of no one this 45 year old man lives in Alabama.
I understand so very little of this man's reasoning, but what really confuses me is
quote:ok so i am a 45 yrs old male, she is 37 females.
I mean, if his wife is 37 different people he should still be able to be intimate with at least 35 during the pregnancy, since only two will be carrying the babies! (I assume they'll switch off, just plugging the kids into their belly buttons when another wife needs a break.)
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Apr 17, 2024 07:46
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- The Alchemist
- Dec 12, 2010
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WTF, those are just like... the second one basically looks like a poncho from a western. Like I wouldn't give a poo poo if they're flowery shawls, but even among shitheads, who looks at that and is threatened by a lack of masculinity?
Girls who grew up in the south and arent ready for the Big City Life apparently(by the way, is it mentioned which city this took place in?)
A man is not a man unless he is covered in pig poo poo and only wears old broken jeans and a wife beater with cum stains in the front. These are the type of girls who would break up if you DO wash your rear end
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Apr 17, 2024 07:55
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- The Alchemist
- Dec 12, 2010
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AITA for calling my SIL a racist after she compared my cooking to "making kung pao chicken"?
It sure as hell doesn't feel like a happy ending. Perhaps bittersweet justice, but that's all I can give you. Thank you all for your support and for reading.
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Apr 17, 2024 08:31
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- kimbo305
- Jun 9, 2007
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actually, yeah, I am a little mad
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Lol, goddamnit, I need to know what their lineup/range naming scheme is. What is the ocelot? What is 3000? What is RX?!
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Apr 17, 2024 08:42
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- DoctorTristan
- Mar 11, 2006
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I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?
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Lol, goddamnit, I need to know what their lineup/range naming scheme is. What is the ocelot? What is 3000? What is RX?!
If you’ve got a high-end system that can push out those extra cycles/second it’s really worth paying the extra for the RX Ti models
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Apr 17, 2024 09:02
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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I swear I posted it at least once if not twice but I can't find it on the forums or google search...
AITA for asking wife to abort 1 twin?
To the surprise of no one this 45 year old man lives in Alabama.
Having had zero sex ed in this hellhole, I believe it.
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Apr 17, 2024 09:45
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- CommissarMega
- Nov 18, 2008
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THUNDERDOME LOSER
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My personal favourite Reddit story is this one from r/StoriesAboutKevin, in somewhat the same vein as the 'twins take 18 months' guy:
quote:He Wants to DNA Test Her Kids
So... I can't even completely wrap my brain around this Kevin, but when my friend "Sage" told me this story, I just HAD to get her permission to post it here. She gave it, so here we go. Fair warning, I fear the number of IQ points that may be lost in reading this...
Sage started dating Kevin about two years before this incident. Things seemed to be going all right between them. She told me he was a bit of a derp and sometimes incredibly oblivious to some things. He couldn't pick up subtle cues, and even suggestions flew over his head with about a mile of airspace between his skull and the suggestion. She originally chalked it up to him being on the autism spectrum, as she has a few other friends who have similar problems picking up cues. So she just switched her behavior from "talking to neurotypical" to "talking to neurodivergent" and the bumps smoothed out for a while.
All is well and good.
Then the talk of taking the relationship seriously came up. Marriage. Becoming a family.
And that's when the plane hit the mountain with a cartoonish bang.
Kevin announced that he wanted to DNA test Sage's kids. To make sure they were his. Kids who were 5 and 3 when Sage and Kevin started dating.
Sage said she had to come to a full stop in the conversation for several seconds while her brain rebooted.
Sage: "They're NOT your kids. You know they're not. My ex-husband and I had them together before I ever met you."
(She had still been pregnant with the youngest when she and her ex had finalized the divorce. Whole other story.)
Kevin: "Yeah, and now that we're getting married, they'll become mine. I just want to DNA test them to be sure of it."
Sage: "Let me see if I understand this... Do you..... do you actually think my children's DNA will..... change... to become biologically yours when you adopt them?"
Kevin: "Obviously. I just want the confirmation on paper is all."
[insert That'sNotHowThisWorksThat'sNotHowAnyOfThisWorks meme here]
There was a long conversation about how DNA didn't work that way, with his rebuttal that adopting them would make them BECOME his. Then there had to be a conversation that becoming his children would only happen on paper, and in the legal system. That no, the children would NOT magically transform into his own biological children once the paperwork was filled out. Him insisting that EVERYBODY said the kids became theirs once adoption happened. Her explaining the concept of "adopted children are loved just as much as if they were biological" and that was what that meant. Him insisting that everything pointed to kids BECOMING "theirs."
His mom eventually had to become involved to back Sage up. His DAD had to become involved to back Sage up. A few books had to get involved to back Sage up.
Kevin was furious! He couldn't understand why people would EVER adopt a kid if the kid didn't "become" the actual, biological child of the people who took them in. How stupid and selfish it was, for kids to retain the DNA of the sperm/egg donor! How could any kid who wanted to be adopted REFUSE to change one little thing so they could have parents?! "DNA doesn't work that way" is a bullshit excuse!
He ranted. He raved, and right in front of his own parents, he told her that if her kids weren't going to become his kids, then the marriage wasn't going to happen.
He told her that he would give them all a week to change their minds and agree to be his biological kids. He said WHEN they stopped being selfish, and WHEN the DNA test proved it, he would take the kids in.
Sage to me: "And that's how the relationship ended."
Me: "Uhhhh, wait, hang on, was he just looking for an excuse to break it off? Did he just get cold feet or want to date around some more or....?"
Sage: "Nope. He really is just that stupid. His mom called me on the sly and very gently suggested that I just break it off with Kevin, because no matter how much she and his dad talk to him, he's adamant about it. He's even saying that he will NEVER date a woman with kids from here on out unless they agree to change their DNA to become his if the relationship becomes serious."
So Sage is single again, having dodged a tactical nuke. God help everyone if he ever breeds...
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Apr 17, 2024 09:48
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- 21st Cherry boy
- Jan 28, 2004
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i'm a girl, fucktard
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I really need closure on that one story where the wife didn't let her husband into a specific room she squirreled Amazon packages into.
I swear there was an update where op did the whole puppetmaster thing and laughed at everyone for thinking it was real
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Apr 17, 2024 10:02
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- Shanghaied
- Oct 12, 2004
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BIG PAD
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Lol, goddamnit, I need to know what their lineup/range naming scheme is. What is the ocelot? What is 3000? What is RX?!
How do you titillate an ocelot?
You oscillate its tit a lot.
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Apr 17, 2024 10:11
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- Volcano
- Apr 10, 2008
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I'm constantly shaking my head at people's lack of sprezzatura.
I have to repost this whole thing because it's so awful that it makes me laugh every single time.
These are all from the same person:
Decent Nightclub
quote:
Obviously using a throwaway, but is there a club in this city that has an implicit (or explicit) "no uggos" policy that also plays halfway decent house music? No offense, but this is not the hottest city, and I need to be around other beautiful people to stave off seasonal depression. Thank you!
I Can't Believe It
quote:
I come to DC for a couple weeks of education, culture, and fun. The museums and food are fantastic. But the city is so miserable and grim, everyone is so exhausting to look at, so I try my chances at a club. Nobody is dressed hot, and everyone has uneven lips and fat shoulders that broaden their face and long torsos and dry elbows with nary a clue that they look like that. The fact that I saw Chelsea boots on a woman, a woman who I presume is college-educated and aware it is the year 2022, a woman who was wearing stone washed boot cut high rise jeans as well, like some sort of time traveler with her notes mixed up, made me so profoundly distressed that I had to go back to my hotel and rest. Additionally, I have never been in a club where people are so grimly determined to look like they're having fun. Where is the sprezzatura? Must you all look so pained?
So, on the next weekend I try to find a club for beautiful people that also played good house music. I was feeling depressed, and that always makes me feel better. I get both in abundance in my city, and DC is large, wealthy, and educated. It cannot be that difficult. I have no friends here, none of my college friends even are the type to live in such a place, and now I understand why. As such, Instagram is useless in finding answers for that, and too many of you butterfaced freaks are on Twitter. So, I turn to Reddit. Surely there's hot people, maybe even hot men, that use this site once in a while and can give me a good answer, but no. I get rude and ungrateful ugly people mouthing me off! And the ones that did give me legitimate advice were hounded for doing so. Is this how a city of what I thought were the well-educated, well-mannered class of the United States treats its visitors?
Are you unable to look in the mirror and realize that this city is full of genetically unfortunate people apparently too poor to buy beauty, including most of yourselves? Even gently botched plastic surgery suggests an attempt was made to try, and that counts in my books. There's nothing inherently wrong with being ugly or unfashionable, but be honest about it, humble yourselves in the presence of the gifted, and provide more spaces for attractive people to hang out and have a good time in places that make them feel good about being beautiful. Not to mention, you all look in the mirror and feel good? I would never leave my house if I looked like half of you. There's no demand for self-improvement and discipline, and no culture that emphasizes beauty as a goal for its own sake. A lack of vision for hot people will eventually kill your city. I regret coming here, and I cannot believe that I spent the money to do as such. Good riddance.
OP returns 6 months later:
quote:oh my god this is me. i was addicted to designer amphetamines and completely delusional at the time of writing this. i had lost forty pounds and thought i was hot poo poo. i thought i was the reincarnation of Kurt Vonnegut. this was serious, and my friends laughed when they saw this go viral on twitter. it made me realize i had issues and im sober now. im also shocked i managed to stay employed at that time.
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Apr 17, 2024 10:15
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- greazeball
- Feb 4, 2003
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Another classic
AITA for hiding embarrassing notes in my house as a joke because I know my fiance's mom snoops?
quote:
I bought a house seven years ago and I met my fiance, Al, four years ago This year he moved in. We're talking about making it a home for both of us.
But as of now, he hasn't moved much stuff in, right now 95% of the stuff and furniture in the house is mine.
When his mom comes over, she's kind of a snoop. He was used to that, but when she comes to our house, it's so uncomfortable because she's just going through my poo poo.
When I am bothered, she's like "I was just helping with chores" etc. He says I should just let her because she has "a lot of nervous energy"
One thing she snooped on was actually embarrassing. In my home office, I had a little "affirmation" post it note on my monitor saying "I am smart, I am skilled, I am deserving of great things" It was a silly thing my therapist recommended to get me in a confident mindset before an interview.
Anyway, she made a comment to about my ego...
But as a joke, I decided to do it again. I had my best friend over and we got wine drunk and wrote a bunch of "affirmations" to hide.
Some were:
Medicine cabinet: My teeth will regrow! I am sharklike and powerful!
Kitchen drawers: I know when to spoon, but I also know when to fork! I am sexy and self assured!
Work desk: I will not just gently caress my way to the top of the company, I will gently caress my way to the top of the world!
Walk in closet: I am beautiful with clothes and without! Especially without! My boobs are legendary!
There were a bunch more, and my friend and I had a hilarious time writing them.
Next time my MIL came over she saw a few. And she didn't acknowledge them to me even though she definitely started acting a little weird about me.
I went to run some errands and when I was out, she confronted Al about the notes and was trying to tell him that I seemed unstable, egotistical, and moving in was a bad idea. She showed him the notes and he didn't really know what to make of it.
He asked me and I said that they were just some silly private notes to boost my self confidence and make myself laugh; how had she gotten them? Had she been going through my things?
He said she was just tidying, and saw them. And they were real weird.
I was like 'have you met me? You should know how weird I am. Anyway if you don't want your mom seeing my weird poo poo you've got to stop letting her go through my poo poo"
He asked if I left them on purpose to annoy her, and I admitted that was kinda the joke, but I also have other weird or private poo poo so what I said about her needing to stop snooping if she didn't want to find weird crap was still for real.
He said I was making stuff hard for him, his mom was really protective and adjusting to him moving in with a girlfriend for the first time, and I was agitating her on purpose and making her think I wouldn't be a good partner, when he wanted her to have the opposite impression of me!
AITA for the note prank?
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Apr 17, 2024 10:32
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- boofhead
- Feb 18, 2021
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Kinda deceptive imo for these package deal dudes to not bring their better halves along on dates. Like how long were you planning to hide your emotionally conjoined mother
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Apr 17, 2024 10:38
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- aardwolf
- Apr 27, 2013
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If we're going through greatest hits, here's a story that's a little unbelievable but still a fun piece of writing:
Entitled Father tries to Kick me out of University
quote:
My freshman year, I was roommates with a guy who had fairly well-off parents, let’s call him Jon. Jon was a child actor and although he isn’t one you’d recognize immediately, he’s played side characters on big sitcoms and did some voice acting on some pretty popular kids shows. His parents hold him to very high expectations and were very strict with him and his acting, so when he got into our university (which is considered a top ten university globally), his parents held him to that same standard, which for a now-liberated young adult with almost no maturity, he did the exact opposite of everything he should have done. He slept all day, partied all night, never studied, didn’t go to class, etc., yet when his parents would call him to check up on him, I would always be mentioned in the conversations.
They needed to make sure that I was a good influence on their son, they would tell him, they would consistently ask if I was partying often, doing drugs, bringing girls over late into the night, pretty much everything /he/ was doing, they wanted to ensure that I wasn’t doing it to keep their son safe.
This goes on for months, whenever his parents would call him during his midday nap and I’d be in between classes, I’d always hear him defending me to his parents and he’d go beet red whenever I’d walk in and hear what they were saying about me over the phone, so I’d leave and wait until his call ended since I knew he already felt embarrassed enough. I didn’t really think of what they were saying either, I just thought it was ironic and told Jon afterwards that he didn’t need to apologize, since they weren’t his thoughts.
Around the end of the semester, Jon is told by his major department that he would likely flunk out of college if he did not ace the final exams in at least two of four of his classes, and that he would have to retake the other two regardless of how he did, moreover that he would lose a scholarship that paid a substantial amount of his tuition. He had to call his dad to tell him the bad news while I was on the top bunk of the bed studying, and his father is shouting so loud that I can hear him through Jon’s phone with my earbuds in. Eventually the question is asked if I had anything to do with Jon’s bad grades, and before Jon can say anything, his dad “determines” that Jon was covering for me because I was a bad influence and that since I was around him all the time, I was the reason he failed. He demanded to speak to me and wanted me to tell him everything I did to his son and how I corrupted him, and when Jon said that I didn’t do anything, it only made him angrier, and after telling me that I would pay, he hung up.
He already knew my name and of course where I lived, but I didn’t think he would do anything with that information until I got a call from the university’s student affairs center telling me that Jon’s father had requested access to my personal information through the student portal (basically a website with financial aid and enrollment info), and to change my passwords in case I thought that my data was at risk. I tell Jon that his dad tried to access my info and of course he called his dad to ask him wtf he was doing.
Dad said that because Jon was failing, he was pulling Jon out of college, and that he was coming in a few days to “talk” to me about my part in all of this. Jon asks him again to ask him why he asked the school for my info, and Jon’s dad just hung up on him. I couldn’t focus on that BS at the time since I had my own exams to prep for, but as he said he would, he showed up as this fairly skinny, balding guy desperately trying to cover up his receding hairline by brushing as much stringy, blond hair of his to the front of his head. I came down with the flu right before exams so sadly I was forced to be in the room while Jon moved out, with his dad berating the both of us while I have my earbuds in and feel like I’m going to puke.
Jon looks like he’s going to cry bc he doesn’t want to leave, and I peek over my laptop to see his dad putting books and notes in the garbage and repeatedly asking Jon if he officially withdrew from the university until Jon just barked “yes” at him. Jon’s dad then turns to me and says something along the lines of “alright, now you.”
Again I insist that I didn’t do anything to his son except live with him, and the dad demanded that because I turned his kid from an accomplished actor to a college dropout, I should withdraw from the university too. Jon is now yelling at his dad to leave me alone, and I’m telling him that there’s no way I’m dropping out for his ego. He demands my laptop and portal login info and I tell him that if he even so much as touches my laptop or me, I’m calling the police. This escalates to a straight up shouting match among the three of us until the RA knocks on the door, warning us that if we don’t quiet down, he will get campus security to come up and settle the issue. The dad quiets himself again and calmly asks me to withdraw again because “it’s only fair.”
I say no, because again, I didn’t do anything.
There’s a silence in the room as he approaches the edge of my bunk, he’s glaring at me, I’m putting my earbuds in bc chemistry won’t study itself, and he asks again, gripping the railing and almost hissing the question.
I say no. Again. Didn’t do poo poo.
He finally decides that I’m not worth talking to anymore and says that he’ll tell my parents everything I did and that they would make me leave college if he couldn’t, and with that, he left with Jon.
I got a text from my dad about a day later, and that both he and my mom basically told him and his wife to gently caress off and never contact me again in far more eloquent terms. I then got a barrage of emails and texts and FB posts from the parents pretty much saying that I was at fault for ruining their son’s life and that I don’t deserve that seat at my uni, so I block them. Every now and then my parents would get FB messages or emails, they were ignored.
Jon angry-reacted my graduation pics on FB a few months ago, so out of paranoia that they were spying on me through his account, I blocked him too. I hope he understands.
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Apr 17, 2024 11:05
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- The Alchemist
- Dec 12, 2010
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If we're going through greatest hits, here's a story that's a little unbelievable but still a fun piece of writing:
Entitled Father tries to Kick me out of University
This Garfield prequel is weird as gently caress
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Apr 17, 2024 13:27
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- Pope Corky the IX
- Dec 18, 2006
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What are you looking at?
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Thank you for finding a bunch of classics. I’m going to put something together in the OP linking to all of these.
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Apr 17, 2024 13:32
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Apr 17, 2024 02:51
