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DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
Try to guess the spoiler because :lmao:

AITA for telling my stepdad my wedding isn't about him?

quote:

So my stepdad approached me a few days ago and told me he didn't like the direction my wedding was going in, that he didn't like not being involved as a parent and the living dad figure in my life, and he wanted me to change things so he would enjoy the wedding more. For context: I am not being given away, we're not doing any big dance besides the first dance between the married couple, and we're not really doing the toasts or anything, we're also not accepting any offers to pay for the wedding or give money toward the wedding. Neither my fiancé or I want that kind of wedding and we've changed a few things honestly to work for what we want our wedding to be.

My stepdad, who came into my life when I was 12, apparently had this vision of what my wedding would be. Or more specifically, he had this vision of the role he would play in my wedding. He never had any kids and when he married my mom I had already lost my dad so he saw me as his chance at fatherhood. But I see him as my mom's spouse more than I see him as a parent of mine. I respect him as a good husband and someone who has tried to be there for me. But if his marriage to my mom was over tomorrow, I don't think I would stay in touch with him. This is something we discussed when I was a teenager and I was honest about where I stood. He was honest about what he wanted. The therapist worked with us both individually and then together with my mom and it was stated clearly that he was not the dad to me that he wanted to be.

He never stopped believing he would get the whole experience though. And when he was telling me what he wanted and how he felt, he made it very clear to me that the wedding wasn't what he wanted, wasn't what he enjoyed. He told me I should be considering his wishes more and I told him my wedding is not about him and I will not change my wedding plans to make him happy.

Of course he didn't like hearing that and he started to tell me again about his feelings and I reiterated that my wedding is not about him. This led to him becoming angry and telling me I was being juvenile about it and him suggesting I was doing this to spite him so he wouldn't get to enjoy my wedding or the dream of fatherhood.

AITA?

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DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
AITA For telling my girlfriend I’m done because she expects me to stay awake 18+ hours a day?

quote:

My gf (27F) is hounding me constantly about how we do not spend enough time together, for a short preface on that we live together, make dinner every night together, and on weekends we spend the entirety of them together doing various activities such as brewery tours, visiting her parents, date nights, concerts etc.

I get up at 5am for work and don’t get home until about 4:30pm I commonly fall asleep at 8pm (at that point I’ve been awake for 15 hours). She’s told me she feels that she is “alone” more often than not and has cried multiple times at night because I’m falling asleep early. I’ve gone and spent thousands having this looked into and the better part of our 1 year relationship. I’ve been to the chiropractor, seen 2 different ear nose and throat doctors and have tried countless over the counter remedies to no avail. AITA?

Tl;dr gf says we spend no time together and I’m contemplating breaking up with her because of it

Get a load of this guy, needing (checks notes) 8-9 hours of sleep a night. What an inconsiderate rear end in a top hat!

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
:staredog: Eight drinks over the course of dinner? Jesus Christ!

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
Wait, he was actually expecting a book report and philosophical discussion on the subject? :lol: I wouldn't do that poo poo for something I agreed with, let alone an opposing political viewpoint.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
A short and sweet tale of a spine.

AITAH for blindsiding my cheating spouse with divorce papers?

quote:

My spouse has been having an affair for a few months now. I discovered it after seeing a message on their phone. They know cheating is a no-go for me and an instant relationship ender. For that reason, I decided to go to a lawyer and get the divorce papers prepared without saying anything. Our relationship continued without a problem during these few weeks and I served them the papers yesterday. They were shocked and asked me the reason crying as if they do not know it.

I told them I knew about their affair. They said I should have talked to them before doing that and we can still save our relationship. I told them saving it is not my responsibility as they are the one who killed it. They told me it was cruel and continuing our relationship as if everything is okay was wrong. They could have at least prepare themselves if I were to let them know about wanting a divorce. I told them they can get ready with their lawyer now that they are served.

AITAH?

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
This one is a doozy. And long. Real, real long.

WIBTA if I don't go to a Personal Mastery seminar my mom went to?

quote:

I (25F) have my mom (63F) living with me in my apartment due to the people we used to live with (and then eventually she lived with) being horrible to her and treating her poorly both mentally and financially. It took me months to convince her to come live with me instead to better herself, but she finally did and has been happier since.

Awhile back, she was introduced to a 3 day weekend Personal Mastery seminar course. She was very interested in it and while I was skeptical, I said she should go if she wants. She did, and she ended up loving it, which was great and I was glad for her.

Every now and again, she brings up the seminar, talking about how she thinks it would help me and be good for me, etc. I have tried to keep an open mind, but I remain very skeptical of this whole thing as it's supposedly an interactive course that is meant to change your way of thinking about things. That being said, she's not allowed to tell anyone what actually happens at the seminar. No one is. It's part of the rule of the place. So me, being paranoid and skeptical as I've learned to be, doesn't trust it, and I've expressed this. My mom has been understanding of that fact.

Still though, she continues to bring it up now and again. A few days ago while shopping, we saw one of my mom's friends Julie (60s?F fake name) and they got to talking about the course which they have both gone to. They both really kept encouraging me to go and I expressed discomfort at that and they said they understood, and I could go when/if I'm ready. I thought it was finally over with.

Yesterday, my mom suddenly sprung on me that Julie has recieved an anonymous donation to sponsor someone to go to the seminar this weekend (it costs $995 to sign up) and Julie wanted to sponsor me. Julie's husband even offered to use his hotel points to get me a free room so I'd be able to go for totally free.

I felt so uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. I had a very long talk with my mom about how I feel extremely pressured to do this thing I really don't think I want to do and she seemed receptive and understanding, but now I feel like I'll be an rear end in a top hat if I don't accept an extremely generous offer, despite the fact that I'm uncomfortable. My mom has given Julie's husband my number and he plans to call me and talk to me about the seminar and I really don't even want to have the conversation. I'm trying to have an open mind but I really don't like the idea at all. I feel very forced into this situation despite my mom saying I don't have to go.

So, WIBTA?

Edit because I forgot to add: friend opinions are insanely mixed. Some say I should go, some say I shouldn't, some say it would be good to get away, some say it feels hosed up they put me in this position, some say I'm an rear end in a top hat if I don't go, I don't know anymore.

Edit 2: I know I literally just loving posted this but Julie's husband just texted me sending me details on the hotel because he just used his points to book me a free loving room. I'm literally gonna cry LOL.

Someone in the comments does some digging and turns up that it's part of an MLM/cult called Klemmer & Associates. They link to an r/AntiMLM post from 5 years ago with this little gem down in the comments:

quote:

Sorry for the late response, I don't really frequent this sub. But it just so happened I got reminded of when I got convinced to go to a meeting of theirs a few years ago and thought I'd do a search here for fun to see if there was anything new about them.

The wife of my family's pediatrician (who is ludicrously respected around town and still is) and a sort of family friend is some degree of coach for Klemmer and Associates and was asking my dad if he would be interested in a weeknight seminar. My dad, not knowing any better and being polite, said he would be out of town (true) but would see if I would be interested. I was in a less than good job at the time and was struggling in my career development. I said sure. Drs Wife calls me up to give me the sales pitch about how much the program has helped her and her family, yadda yadda. I figured what would be the harm in an evening seminar probably about leadership in the workplace, etiquette, your standard work/life improvement stuff. I paid twenty bucks and went.

It was actually pretty well attended and in the ballroom of a hotel, I say about the ball park about 75 or so attendees. I even see some parents of friends of my siblings. It starts of pretty normal. Just says you standard things about self reflection, bettering yourself and this program can help you get there! It also goes into the whole life cycle of the program. This night was step one, then there was a couple of weekend conferences, then capping off with a week long training to finish the program, at which point you can become one of the coaches like Drs. Wife was. We do some icebreaker things. If i remember right, it was just introduce yourself to three people. Then they started talking about the line of books the company had for sale, and more of the same promises of what the program can do. My enthusiasm is starting to fade.

Then the presenter said something along the lines of "So as we reach the end of the first hour, consider where you are now as we move into the next two hours of the introduction of our program"

Strike one. It is a weeknight, I'm still in my work outfit. I'm not getting home at nine o'clock unless this is worth my time. I should add there was nothing in advance that said this seminar would be three hours long. Beneath the chair is a pamphlet about the program and attached is an order form. In very, very tiny print, I see that the cost of the full program, from tonight to the full week event would tally close to $16,000. I'm assuming (and frankly hoping) that includes lodging and meals but, still.

But I'm the type of person that would sit through a presentation on the types of grass and their growing habits for three hours if it had good intentions. Plus I wanted to be polite, even though I was thoroughly convinced that this wasn't my bag.

The tone of the speech turned slightly and asked you to examine yourself. What did you think were the problems in your life, are you doing anything to address them? What are your hopes and aspirations?

"Discuss your dreams with the person sitting next to you"

I took one look at the middle aged lady sitting next to me, just kind of muttered out an "excuse me" and walked out. Not doing that. Somethings come up, I'm late for a thing that happens to not be in this building. Part of it was that I wasn't exactly in the best spot of my life and my dreams were being "reassessed" part of it was that I'm sure as hell not discussing that with stranger.

With that wound picked at, I left feeling kind of miserable, out a perfectly good $20 and with no new skills to boot. I did some homework later on the company and found that this is how their whole system works. Hour 1 is the introduction, hour 2 you reflect on everything wrong with your life, hour 3 is a taste of how you, through their magical program, can fix it. Worse still, some sources I was reading up on encourage their program in place of legitimate therapy treatments. So answer your question, there's no physical product. It's about being coached and then turning around and coaching others, which compared to MLM standards might be even worse in comparison. Might there be some legitimate ideas in there? Sure, but where I work now will send you to professional development things at your request, will in some cases cover the costs and even pay your normal wage while you attend. Those programs probably teach those same lessons without three hours of tear down/buildup.

Oh well, live and learn. Everyone steps into an amway meeting at some point. But my outright irritation at this "company" came later.

Wife of Dr. shoots me a quick message saying that she was sorry I couldn't stay for the full program and that she would leave a free copy of my book in my mailbox. All right, fine. It shows up in my mailbox and I never touch it. I get call a few weeks later from another coach rep (Which as an aside, I was working in the legal field and Klemmer and Associates sounds exactly like 75% of the places I was applying for jobs at, which is why I didn't immediately hang up). wanting to touch base because I had attended their seminar. I kind of listened planning on letting her down gently when she said:

"Wife of Dr said you loved the free book though"

Ok, nope. Do not put words in my mouth. I'm obviously heated and say "Actually I did not enjoy the book and do not contact me further"

She apologizes and hangs up. Drs Wife texts me (what timing!) saying that she was "misinformed" and that I would be removed from their list. I ask that any family members of mine that have been added to their information be removed as well. A few months later I get a similar sales esque phone call. So I've clearly been lied to. I got nasty on the phone (Which I emphasize, never happens) and I haven't heard anything sense.

So put it simply, these guys are hacks. If you want to be a better person, there are so many great ways you can do that for free. I feel good volunteering for instance. On the other hand, If you need therapy, go get some therapy.

They aren't talked about much online, but these guys are at best way too expensive life coaches and have drunken too much of their own kool aid for their own good. At worst, they are preying on vulnerable people for many thousands of dollars."

I'd say scam/mlm/preying on the vulnerable. Don't go unless you actually want to join this. There are many better, healthier and cheaper ways of gaining "personal mastery

OP responds:

"WAIT THIS IS THE EXACT COURSE"

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
The one that lives rent free in my head is the guy who was adamant that upon being adopted, children will magically get the DNA of their adoptive father.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
Holy poo poo, an hour?! He let her stew for an hour before he admitted it was a 'prank' and an 'experiment'? Also, I'm pretty sure that the university's ethics board would love to hear details about that experiment.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
AITA for refusing to stop driving and sell my car despite my boyfriend asking me to do so?

quote:

I (26F) recently got into a small car accident (which was not my fault). which resulted in an argument with my bf who insists I should stop driving and that I should take public transit. Public transit is ok in our city but I still like having a car and the freedom it gives me. Unfortunately, in the 3 years we have been together I have had 3 car accidents that were my fault and a 4th that wasn't, however I'm actually decent and confident while driving outside of these incidents and I plan on being a lot more careful moving forward.

I just feel like I got a little unlucky, I have zero non accident related tickets while he does.

The first one was literally the day I purchased a new to me used car on the first drive back home. The floormat the previous owner had installed was not great and woolly and it caught the heel of my shoe while I hit the gas and I could not brake or release it in time and rear ended someone. Obviously I was not expecting the floormat to be so bad and I changed it now and have been fine since.

The second one was in a parking lot, where I was backing over a bit of snow and the car was stuck and accelerated a little too hard to free it and backed into another car causing no damage to either vehicle.

The third was when I was reverse parking into a spot and there was a speed bump right in front of the spot and as I moved forward while turning to adjust the angle my foot slipped off the brake as the car was going over the speed bump and then I accidentally hit the gas and drove into a parked car.

The last one was because, a spare tire came off a vehicle in front of me and I stopped suddenly and the car behind me rear ended.

I understand this is not the best but he also had one accident that was his fault and far more near misses than I have ever had while I was in the car with him. Obviously I am going to be more careful but these really were one of things and I the most recent one was not even my fault. I have never damaged his car and have always paid for any damages caused either myself or via insurance.

Edit: since people seem to have a problem with my footwear.

I wasn't wearing heels for the 2nd and 3rd accident so only had one where I was wearing them and at fault.

I wear them regularly but the last accident was literally not my fault and I was in heels and braked very promptly and the first was addressed by changing the floormat.

Obviously there are some shoes I do not drive in and change into something else if I do not have a good and stable feel of the pedals or find the shoes uncomfortable and this applies to some flats too.

I can drive in heels as long as they have a flat part in the front of the shoe as that is what makes contact with the pedals anyway and have straps, a bit like these https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81KsPKWJYSL._AC_SY695_.jpg

Across three years, this woman has somehow managed to make her foot slip three times, causing her to hit a parked car every time. :stonk:

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
I don't even know what to think regarding this one. :psyduck:

AITA for my not stopping taking a poo poo for my grandma?

quote:

Not sure if this qualifies as nsfw, but I do talk about medical history and bathroms and stuff so idk LOL

For context, my (F17) grandma (F62) has had some health problems in the past few years. She's been diagnosed with diabetes, and last October just gotten a toe partially amputated because of it. Her recovery, however, has been great. She's back to the point where she can walk normally and regularly around the house, my grandpa has gotten her special shoes for walking, and by December she was able to travel outside, she seemed to be doing good.

Today, I came home from school and saw she was taking a nap on the couch. I went on the computer for a couple hours, then went to the bathroom to yk, poo poo. After like a minute I hear slamming on the door, my grandma saying "LET ME IN." I responded that I was using the bathroom and she yelled back she didnt care and to open the door. I said something like "bruh one second" the toilet is far from the door, so I finished making GBS threads and opened the door before I washed my hands so she could go into the toilet/shower part of the bathroom (?) but she didnt come in.

When I walked out she came storming out the bathroom down the hall saying she could've had an accident and she would made me clean it up, and that she knew I wasnt actually using the bathroom. Obviously I asked what she meant, and she went "I heard you were humming, I know you were practicing for your stupid choir in there." Atp I just laughed because thats ridiculous, and she stormed off.

Later my Grandpa knocked on my door and started lecturing me about how she could've had an accident and how I should've been quicker. The time from the knocking to me opening the door must have been no more than 30 seconds, and I pointed that out and how there was a second bathroom 2 doors down. Then he said that this was my biggest problem, I lacked respect and should have jumped up to let her in due to her recent injury, checked on her before I went in, and most definitely not laughed at her lecture.

Now I feel like I should've done more for her? Was I the rude one here? She's seemed fine for months, and I stopped regularly caring for her because she's said she wants to be more self sufficient. Should I apologize? Or just leave it?

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
AITAH For telling my husband that his affair child is not welcome in our home and if he wants custody he will have to move out?

quote:

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. In 2021, we found out my husband was being sued for child support.

Turns out my husband had an affair shortly after we were married. It nearly ended our marriage, but we went to counseling together and I agreed to stay in the marriage with the following provisions:

My husband was to get a second job so that his child support payments did not affect our household budget and that at no point in time would I ever consider having a relationship with this child. If he wanted to pursue one with them, fine. But I have absolutely zero interest in this kid.

So my husband has been getting to know his kid over the past couple years and recently my husband came to me and informed me that there was some sort of baby mamma drama. Apparently, she has to self-surrender in May and is going to be incarcerated for 8 months.

My husband told me that he needed to take custody while his affair partner is locked up, otherwise the kid would have to go to their grandparents who basically live on the opposite coast from us. Their kid doesn't want to have to change schools or be so far away from their friends, dad and mom (she will be doing her time fairly local to us).

So, after my husband told me that, I got up and left the house. I went to the grocery store on the corner and grabbed a copy of our area's apartment guide went back home and handed it to him.

He asked if I were serious. I told him I still felt the same way as I did 3 years ago. He said he didn't think that was fair considering the extenuating circumstances.

I told him I don't care about the circumstances. His kid is not welcome in my home, if he wanted to take custody I will grant him an amicable divorce, but I am not changing my mind. I am not taking care of some other chick's kid.'

EDIT - For all the people concerned about what a whip cracker I am in making my poor husband work 2 jobs... He has never had a fulltime job since we have been together. He works 2 part time retail jobs now that add up to 40-50 hours a week.

He currently only has supervised visitation with his kid. The see each other once or twice a month for a couple hours with a social worker present.

And for those who seem to think that I need to be the one to file for divorce. No. I will not. I am not the one who created this situation. If my husband wants to pursue custody, I have told him I will not fight it. I will grant him an amicable divorce and let him be on his way.

However, I am not going to waste my own time, energy, and money to do so! He is responsible for getting his own ducks in a row for the situation he created. That includes being the one to go through the headache of filing.

"Wait but you're a woman, you're supposed to instantly pack bond with any child. Why aren't you clamoring to become this kid's mommy?" Although this "I won't divorce HIM, he will have to divorce ME" stuff is loving childish.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
AITAH for ghosting my bf after he said we were not a couple?

quote:

I (25M) met this guy "J" (25M) through my roommate. We hit it off, and after a couple of weeks, I asked him out. We started going on dates and eventually began dating.

Fast forward five months, he was going to visit his parents and invited me along. When we arrived, his mom asked if I was his boyfriend. He cut her off and referred to me as his "friend." I was confused and greeted her anyway. He did the same thing with his dad and sister.

During the ride back, our conversation went approximately like this:

Me: Are we just friends with benefits to you?

J: No. Me: Then why did you tell your family I'm just a friend?

J: Because we're not a couple.

Me: Then what are we?

J: ...

He remained silent for the rest of the ride. The next day, he acted like nothing had happened. I tried to discuss it with him multiple times, but he brushed it off.

I had to move out of my apartment for unrelated reasons and didn't tell J or my ex-roommate my new address. I stopped talking to him and replying to his messages. Now, three weeks later, he showed up at my door. He told me, he contacted my brother to get my address. He called me an rear end in a top hat for ghosting him, accused me of cheating on him (he saw me hanging out with a girl he doesn't like). I told him I can hang out with whomever I want, especially since he said we're not a couple. He cursed at me a bit before saying I should have just broken up with him. Again, I thought we weren't a couple. He ended up leaving,a dn crying.

Even though I believe I did the right thing, my friends told me I might have been a little harsh on him. So to prove the point, I am writing this and letting the internet judge.

AITA for ghosting my boyfriend after he said we weren't a couple?

Edit : Yes, he is out. His family knows, during dinner they even asked him if he add any news about his ex-bf

Edit 2 : I looked at the comments with my friends and I understand what I did was childish, but I stick to it. My main problem was that he did not give me an answer. Not FwB, not a couple. I was his friend I guess? I let the internet judge.

"We're not a couple!"
"Okay."
...
"Why did you ghost me?"
"You said it yourself, we're not a couple!"
"You could have told me we were breaking up!"
"Again, we're not a couple. We can't break up. That would require us to be dating first."

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.

NGDBSS posted:

I feel like the BF here is not out to his homophobic family, but that's no excuse for his later conduct.

It actually says in the story that he's out to his family. So 'J' was just being a dingus!

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

AITA for telling my wife I don't believe her when she says she'd be okay with us calling our daughter by different names?

Looking forward to when one of the parents hears which name the kid introduces herself by at the playground and disowns her for picking the wrong one.

From the comments on this one:

quote:

Honestly considering Sunny, Scout AND Lyra all make an appearance in the MLP franchise I'm betting on OP being a Brony Edit: Melody is also in the MLP franchise, and Briony is only letter away from being brony.. the case gets stronger..

YTA OP, YTA on general principle

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
AITAH for telling my fiancee that she's useless in an emergency and shouldn't brag about how tough she is?

quote:

I [25m] have a child named Aimie [1f] with my fiancee Jess [24f]. We live together in one of the safest cities in the United States.

About four months ago, Jess and I were walking home at night with Aimie sleeping in her stroller. It was a suburban road that we've walked down hundreds of times. Suddenly, we heard several loud banging noises from around the corner. My first instinct was to check out where they came from, and so I jogged a couple of steps forward to peek and see what was going on. As it turns out, two teens were hitting the window of an SUV with a baseball bat. I watched them run away, get into a car, and peel out.

I turned around to see Jess, but she wasn't there. I looked back the way we came to see her about 50 yards away, running like her life depended on it. I called out to her a few times but she was obviously scared out of her mind and didn't hear me. A few minutes later I called her on her phone, and she picked up. I explained that it was just a couple of dumb kids with a baseball bat.

Jess sheepishly walked up a few minutes later and I couldn't help but laugh at her. She said that she grew up in a rough neighborhood (she did not) and mistook the sound for gunshots. I actually did grow up in a bad neighborhood and told her they sounded nothing like gunshots.

But what really stuck with me was her first instinct in an emergency was to abandon a 9-month-old baby and her fiance to fend for themselves as she protected her own hide.

Well, last night we were watching a documentary together, and there was a scene with a woman who was frozen in terror during an animal attack. Jess scoffed and said that if it were her, she would have fought back, especially if Aimie were with her. I looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "Yeah ... you don't really know what you'd do." Jess insisted that she would have fought tooth and nail against any threat against our daughter, to which I responded "Even a couple of kids breaking a car window with a baseball bat? Let's call it for what it is: you're kind of useless in an emergency."

Jess stood up, called me a dickhead, and walked away. It felt really lovely because she was victim-blaming the woman in the documentary when she showed herself to be a coward of comic proportions.

Were my words too harsh?

I feel like there was probably a better way OP could have phrased it, but he's not wrong.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
Converting to Freedom Bucks... a prenup for the equivalent of $18/hr is loving funny. Meanwhile, OP there is making 54k annually.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
How about a nice spine in this trying time?

AITA for Telling My Sister's Fiancé About Her "Loyalty Test"?

quote:

Using an alt because my friends use Reddit and not sure if I want to open this stuff up to those in my life as things haven't settled between everyone yet. I (26F) have a younger sister, Lily (24F), who’s been with her fiancé, Mark (28M), for three years. They’ve always seemed really happy together, and they’re planning to get married next summer. Lily and I have always been close, but she can get pretty intense and a bit paranoid when it comes to relationships.

A few weeks ago, Lily told me about this plan she had. She wanted to test Mark’s loyalty by having her friend Sarah flirt with him at a party to see how he’d react. I told her it was a terrible idea and that she should just trust him, but she was dead set on it. She said she needed to be sure Mark wouldn’t cheat on her once they’re married.

So, last weekend at a party, Sarah went ahead with the plan. According to Lily, Mark was nice but didn’t flirt back and even mentioned he was engaged. But Lily was still upset because she felt he didn’t shut Sarah down "forcefully enough."

I thought this whole thing was really unfair to Mark. He had no idea he was being tested, and I felt bad for him. So, I ended up telling him what Lily did. He was shocked and hurt but thanked me for being honest with him. Now, Lily is absolutely furious with me. She says I betrayed her and ruined her relationship. She won’t talk to me, and she’s saying I overstepped big time.

Our parents are split on this—Mom thinks I did the right thing, but Dad thinks I should’ve stayed out of it. Mark is now reconsidering the engagement, and Lily has cut me off completely.

I’m feeling really torn and guilty. I don’t know if I did the right thing by telling Mark or if I should’ve just stayed out of it. AITA? And if I am how do I fix this? Should I try to repair my relationship with Lily, Should I reach out to Mark again or give him space?

Any advice would be really appreciated. I’m so lost right now.

What drives people to create no-win tests? Because you know if Mark was forfecul with Sarah, then Lily would have been up his rear end about that instead.

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DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Somebody reported me as being in emotional trouble on Reddit (got this saccharine message about how help is available, call this hotline). The message has a button to click if you believe you received this message in error. It leads to a page with absolutely no way to report the message being in error.

I'm pretty sure if you just hit the generic "report" button on the DM, then Reddit admins should come down on whoever weaponized the "REDDIT CARES" system against you. It's apparently been an increasing problem on the site lately.

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