r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Neito posted:

The irony of complaining that someone's homophobic because a male bisexual character ended up with a woman is some delicious bullshit (and sadly far too common).

Loki's like the Dean, he makes gayness look like Mormonism. Dude had sex with a horse and it got him pregnant. Loki would absolutely have sex with a duplicate of himself.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 21:10

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 17:31

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Scathach posted:

E wait do yall not shower with your spouses? That's what having two shower heads is for, spraying your spouse in the face.

In true Goon fashion, I chose to die alone instead. I always thought the second shower head was to get your rear end clean.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 00:16

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

AcidCat posted:

Monopoly exists to teach children a valuable lesson, that just because something has been around a long time and is ingrained in the culture, that doesn't mean it's actually good.

Channing Tatum made a show called Comrade Detective a few years ago that was supposedly a 1980s Communist cop show. At one point, the main characters encounter Monopoly and are baffled by this capitalist training regimen. The bit is something like "so wait, you just go around and around forever until you drive all your friends into poverty? What kind of sick country calls that a game?"

# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 23:55

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Boyfriend's [25M] watch kink has me [25F] feeling uncomfortable. What should I do?

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and for the most part it's been a happy relationship. Within the past year or so though, things have taken a weird turn. It all started one day when he told me I should start wearing old watches, because he found it sexy. I didn't want to judge him because he went along with my food kink (celery up rear end, etc), so I started wearing them occasionally. I would catch him looking at it during sex but I didn't mind. It then evolved to him saying before he climaxed, "What time is it, what time is it?" I would say "cum time" and then he would ejaculate over my wrist/watch. This continued for some time and at first I thought it was cute. But then it kept progressing.
Another time we were heading to my parent's house for Thanksgiving. I decided to wear a watch that day to look more formal. It's a pretty long drive to their house, so I figured my boyfriend would nap along the way. I didn't hear a peep from him in a while, so I looked over at the passenger seat, and he was jacking off under his blanket looking directly at my watch. I tried yelling his name, but he was almost in a trance. That was the last time I wore a watch in public. All day at my parent's house he was saying "tick, tock" in a seductive way. He later started doing that whenever he wanted sex.
On his birthday, per his request, I wore 4 watches up my arm during sex. He ejaculated in seconds.
Now I'm not a prude by any means, but this kink has taken over his life. I've tried sitting down to talk with him about it, but he always says "I am who I am, I can't help it". I told him recently it makes me a little uncomfortable, and he's said he'll try to wind it down.
Then there was yesterday. Again, I was over at my parent's house with him. He was sitting on the side couch while my mom and I were having a conversation. I looked over at him and he had a full hard-on, you couldn't miss it. I think my mom saw it too. I didn't know why he was so turned on, but I then I saw what he was looking at - the clock on the wall.
I really love this guy but I don't know if I can go along with this kink anymore. It might be time to end this relationship. Thoughts?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 07:39

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

CannonFodder posted:

Nah, she should go as Leia in ROTJ combat on the moon of Endor outfit. Or a Princess Padme's combat outfit in AOTC, which is also white for impact.

I just like the idea of her being in the bridal party in camo and helmet, blaster at her side.

Hela, with the huge spiky hat.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 16:23

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

She'll never be truly elite, like Karl Malone, with an attitude like that. Karl Malone sacrificed everything else so he could train harder and be better at basketball, even selflessly abandoning his own family. He was the Goku of the NBA. She'll never be on his level.

# ¿ May 8, 2024 00:34

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 17:31

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Chewbecca posted:

I had no idea the ending of How I Met Your Mother was that

Also they filmed the ending during Season 2 so every character reverts to how they were in season 2, even though the show was on like season loving 10.

# ¿ May 14, 2024 21:22

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS