r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Ex-friend 34F asked me 35M about our relationship over 10 years ago. How to respond?

quote:

TL;DR ex-friend Facebook messaged me asking why she wasn�t good enough for me after running into each other over 10 years later. We�re both married with children of our own. How to respond to her messages?

So this will be a weird one. I made a throw away for it as I think this is a pretty unique situation that the person in question could very easily figure out is about them and I don�t want them knowing my main. If they even use Reddit. I 35M am happily married with two children. My wife 32F and I have been together for 8 years married for 4. We were out shopping in our hometown when we ran into my ex-friend, her parents and her children. She moved out of state over 10 years ago and I haven�t seen her since nor have we had any contact other than Facebook happy birthday wishes. She is married with two kids of her own.

Anyway onto the situation. My FIL and her father are friendly with each other. Both retired military and occasionally have breakfast together with their other retired friends. When we ran into each other ex-friends dad congratulated my wife and I. We figured my FIL told him we�re expecting our third child. I saw my ex-friend look at my wife�s belly and then acted distant for the rest of the exchange whereas she was friendly starting off. We trade pleasantries and say good bye. My wife and I continue about our shopping. By the time we�re done I check my phone and see I have a Facebook message from ex-friend.

Ex-F �It was good to see you again!� Me �You too! The family looks good!� Ex-F �Yours too! Would you wanna grab coffee and catch up? I�m in town for a couple more days� Me �We�re actually pretty busy otherwise I would be down. I�m sorry� Ex-F �I understand. Adulting. Can I ask you a question?� Me �Sure, what�s up?� Ex-F �Was I just not your type?� Me �What do you mean� Ex-F �I�m asking what did I do wrong?� Me- Didn�t respond as this was out of no where Ex-F �I pursued you for years. We were inseparable for years and you never gave us a real chance. I loved you. Our families loved us. Our friends loved us together�you just never committed all the way to us. You wouldn�t even have sex with me and I need to know why? Was I not good enough? Could you not see yourself married to me and having a family together?�

I didn�t respond and I showed the messages to my wife. She knows of this girl and my reasoning for her and I growing apart (mostly because we see her family everywhere and she asked). My wife told me to be honest with her but I�m not sure if that�s right. It feels mean. I�m going to give my POV on our friendship and I�m hoping I can get some advice on where to go from here.

Basically she and I met through friends in high school. I was very interested but she was dating some one at the time. She ended up asking me out a month or so later and we went on dates and kissed a few times though we never had the conversation on being official (hence me calling her friend and not girlfriend). One night while riding in the car, her (who I thought was ex) bf called her and asked when she�d be over. She didn�t have it on speaker but I could still hear the conversation. She told him �I can�t talk right now� and he asked who she�s with. She didn�t tell him. He later figured it out and messaged me on Facebook asking if I knew they were still together. I apologized and said I didn�t and would cut things off. I called her and she started crying saying she didn�t have the courage to tell me they were still together but she liked me so much and was going to break up with him. I cut her off anyway. Fast forward a few more months and she reaches out and we go through the same motions. Her wanting to be with me but always having another guy messaging her that I would catch out of the corner of my eye. This lasted (embarrassingly) years. Throughout college and our early twenties it was always the same. She�d reach out, we�d reconnect and things begin getting serious again. I�d check her social media and see she just broke up with someone. We even went on vacation to the mountains together for a weekend and the same thing. She had literally just been there a month ago with her ex(the trip with me was her idea). The worst part is both our families really did love us together. My parents were never �rude� to my girlfriends but would ask me how ex-f is doing these days. Or snide remarks about how her parents miss me. Hell even my now FIL at one point mentioned that ex�s dad brought up how he really thought I�d be his son one day.

I confided in my friends years ago that I�m always just a rebound or backup plan and that�s why I could never commit or get more physical with her. They told me to just sleep with her when she comes calling and don�t pursue anything more. The problem was I wanted more but felt used. Anyways, every time we would plan things out where sex was more than likely on the table, I�d see a guy message her or I�d see a post on social media and it just killed my enthusiasm. When I say that I mean literally. It crushed my confidence every single time. One of my best friends told me I didn�t have to pay attention to all that and could�ve just had my fun with her. Didn�t mean I had to chase a relationship with her knowing I was always a rebound. That felt lovely to me. I had other girlfriends here and there but I wanted this girl. We just clicked, you know? But it�s like some sort of god drat mystical being was showing me a sign EVERY SINGLE TIME things were going to progress our relationship. I just didn�t want her to be getting over some one else or having some one on back burner when we�d reconnect. Maybe that�s my own insecurity but I know how I felt and it didn�t feel good. So I slowly distanced myself. After a short amount of time passed I met my wife. She met her husband and our lives moved on with little to no contact until the other day.

I haven�t responded to the message and it�s been two days. I was thinking of just lying and saying it�s not her fault or just not responding but my wife is insisting I tell her the whole thing. I know this is a word wall but I�m honestly conflicted. I told my wife I was going to ask others for their opinion and I�m considering the internet as my others.

Update: Ex-friend 34F asked me 35M about our relationship over 10 years ago. How to respond?

quote:

Thank you every one for responses. I decided to listen to the majority and responded to Ex-Friend �A�. The response was well received and we chatted the rest of the week and met up on the weekend before Easter. The short of it is we�re both leaving our partners. A and I are gonna try this relationship again now that we�ve completely opened up to each other about our true feelings. Thank you all for the encouragement to do this. Couldn�t have done it without you.

quote:

April fools. I would never. The real update is pretty anti climactic unfortunately. I ended up just never responding to A. It had already been 5 days by the time I read through every response and decided to just let it go. My wife was fine with that but told me to block her if she messages again. We did a couple Easter egg hunts with different family members yesterday including at my FILs. They have a decent sized property and host quite a few people so I wasn�t surprised to see non-family members. I was however surprised when A�s parents were there with her children. After all the adults scattered and hid the eggs and the kids started their search A�s dad came over to chat with me, nothing out of the ordinary, and we shot the poo poo for a few minutes. Towards the end I asked if the kids were staying with them for Easter and he basically told me A and her husband were having some troubles and they needed some time alone to sort things out. He didn�t go into specifics so I don�t know exactly what �troubles� are but congratulations to those of you who called that one.

For now this should conclude the story. If she does happen to reach out again and I feel it�s worth letting you all know what it says then I will. Otherwise thanks again!

# ¿ Apr 2, 2024 16:35

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 04:22

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I knew a guy in the �I�m not rich, my parents are rich� camp.

To be fair, he was gay, his parents weren�t accepting, so he was going through life in the sense of �look I know im not getting any of the inheritance, they�ll probably disown me the minute I bring a boy home�. So he was always looking for an out to stop depending on them.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2024 03:39

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

The fruit fairy is just me on a Saturday night at the gay bar.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2024 09:16

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for despising my boyfriend�s Duck Dynasty beard?

quote:

My boyfriend and I matched on a dating app in December of 2022. In his pictures he was clean shaven or had no longer than an inch of beard hair. Legitimately 30 seconds before I walked into our first date, he texted me word for word �how do you feel about beards?� to which I replied something along the lines of �I like them!� That was not a lie, as I do like the common beard. I walk up to our date and see him standing there with a beard that�s like armpit level. I made a comment like �I didn�t know you meant that kind of beard� and he laughed it off. To be honest, I was instantly turned off because I felt both deceived and less attracted. Fast forwarding through the date, we had a great time and really hit it off.

On our second date, I asked him about the beard and he told me he planned on cutting it around May of of 2023. I was thinking to myself �okay I won�t tell him I don�t like it because it will be gone in a few months. I can do this!� But May came and went and the beard was still there. I finally began to allude to not liking it. He told me he�d now cut it in December of 2023. December came and went and at that point, I started to be more open about the fact that I did not like it. Today, the beard is now approaching his belly button.

Now, my boyfriend has told me he likes the beard because it makes him more recognizable in his business, which gets him a lot of deals. He hasn�t admitted this but I also know he really likes the attention he gets from the beard. We can�t go an hour without someone commenting on it when we�re out. However, he takes the comments as compliments, and I see them as people commenting on a spectacle (like �wow, look at that guy with 3 heads!�).

I really hate it. My boyfriend is a great guy and so handsome, but it makes him look old and disheveled. Also, for some context we�re an interracial couple with a 13 year age gap. It is to the point where I refuse to introduce him to my family. I live out of my home state so I have been able to avoid it, but my best friend recently came in town and saw the beard in person and she was in utter shock. I know that if he has this beard, my dad will not like him and the age gap will be even more apparent to him. My dad had a very negative reaction to my sister�s now husband who is 10 years older but looks her age. Of course, my dad�s opinion of him should not sway how I feel, but I obviously want him to have a good first impression. AITA for wanting him to cut it and not wanting to introduce him to my family until he does so?

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 04:35

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for wanting to go on a guys' trip as a gay man ?

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I (21M) am in a friend group with 4 other guys. We planned to go at the end of this month on a 3 days guys' trip together, without any of our partners. All the other guys from my friend group are straight as far as I'm concerned and most of them have girlfriends currently. Well one of my friends, let's call him "Antonio" (22M) has a girlfriend, let's call her "Gina".

Well Gina wasn't happy to find out about this guys' trip she wasn't invited to and she found issue with me being invited on the trip over her, outright asking her boyfriend why was I was invited instead of her or any of the other guys' girlfriends. When everyone told her cause this is a guys' trip, she said that she doesn't find it fair that a gay guy is allowed to go alongside them but not any of the girls.

I was perplexed and asked her wtf did she meant by that and she said that I know exactly what. I said that I don't and asked her if she seriously thinks I'm gonna have sex with the other guys on the trip, but she just said that she didn't mean like that and she just didn't find it fair her boyfriend wouldn't invite her on this trip. Honestly I was completely done with her by that point and just got up and left the conversation.

Well apparently Gina and Antonio kept arguing over this issue and now Antonio's asking me if I would reconsider dropping out of our guys' trip cause me being there is causing issues in his relationship. I told him that he's being ridiculous to try to kick me out of this trip over his girlfriend's weird insecurity issues and thankfully all the other guys backed me up on this. Well now Antonio's saying that if I'm going then he might have to drop out of the trip instead cause according to him he has too much of a good thing going with Gina to risk losing it, which I found completely absurd, especially when the trip's location was a place he really wanted to see and absolutely nothing innapropriate was gonna happen on this trip.

AITA ?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 01:34

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for inviting a clown to my wedding and putting him in the pictures?

quote:

Throwaway account b/c obvious reasons.

I (29F) married my hubby (31M) a few months ago. Neither of us were particularly interested in spending a boatload of money on a wedding no one would actually enjoy, so we were casual. The wedding was in the party room of a pizza place we love (it's in a recently-renovated 19th-century factory, so it's cool-looking) and decided to let our friends and family bring their army of small children b/c pizza. To entertain the kids, we decided to have a few carnival-themed games and snacks available and we hired a clown (M23) to do balloon animals.

I know this clown, he is a friend of my cousin's who has good clown credentials. He was great with the kids. We had the bright idea to invite the clown to be in some of our wedding photos, as well.

Anyhow, I noticed MIL (F60s) had been kind of distant since the wedding but I didn't realize that she was pissed at us until she came to dinner last night. We got the wedding photos and picked our favorite, which is the two of us looking at each other dramatically with the clown standing next to us holding a big fake squeaky hammer like he was about to bonk my husband's head. We got it framed and put it up in the house.

When my MIL saw the photo, she lost it. She blamed me for embarrassing her and continuing to rub it in her face with the clown photos, and that I should've put my foot down and made sure her son had a classy wedding and not the "clown show you put on". My husband told his mom to leave but I'm honestly kind of shaken.

The feedback from other family/friends has been positive and I've had a good relationship with my MIL thus far, so this was a surprise. I know a lot of people say that the wedding is for the family, not the couple, which isn't something I took seriously until now, and I'm wondering if I should've considered my MIL's feelings more when putting together the party. So am I the rear end in a top hat for my clown show wedding?

Good clown credentials

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 10:53

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

There are also sometimes elements that are out of control for fat people - genetics, no access to healthier lifestyles, etc.

There's not as much defense for smoking or alcohol addiction.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 17:51

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

My Spirit Otter posted:

no, fat people are people, just more often than not people with no self control

What about people with genetic issues or can�t afford anything but cheap food that also makes you fat

# ¿ Apr 11, 2024 01:58

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Guy sounds like he was looking for a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If he�s gonna see anyone new, it should be a therapist.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2024 02:27

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

artsy fartsy posted:

AITAH For asking for a divorce after my husband confessed on TikTok live that he loved another woman.

There's a lot of thread titles in this one.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2024 16:28

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for "exposing children to sinful music"?

quote:

I(17M) am coaching 2-3rd grade science olympiad. One of the kids asked me what my favorite song was, and I told him "Highway to Hell", which is true. Well apparently his family is Christian, and he went home and listened, and his mom was furious. Would I be TA for exposing him to "sinful music"?

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Update on the ticket story:

No surprises to anyone except Pantaloon Pontiff, who is presumably still trying to figure out how she got on the plane after this controlling bastard stole her ticket and imprisoned her in italy

r/relationships: but, ironically, you're the assholes.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2024 19:18

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for �not allowing my husband to visit his dying grandmother�?

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Not my main, as this is quite personal and I don�t want my husband to find it. All names are fake.

I know the title makes me sound pretty horrible. Before you judge me, please try to understand my point of view.

My (32F) husband (34M) , let�s call him Caleb, has a very close relationship with his grandparents (�Marie� and �Tom�) They raised him and his siblings because his parents were absent. Obviously, Caleb sees them as his parental figures and loves them. So do I. They are wonderful, kind people and I will forever be thankful to them for raising my husband so well and treating me with such love.

Caleb�s parents live in Germany, and me and Caleb live in Canada (we moved for my job and better quality of life for our children (3F, 6M, 7F). The flight to visit them is around 9 hours, so visits are rare (once or twice every two years).

Unfortunately, in the summer of 2023, Marie (Caleb�s mom) got diagnosed with a tumour and started getting very sick. We were all devastated and went to spend the whole summer with her in Germany. Her condition remained stable-ish for the whole time and we were hopeful we would have many more years with her.

In October, she had a heart attack and was hospitalized. We thought it was the end. Our whole family, and Caleb�s brothers and sisters went to Germany, preparing to say our good-bye. Turns out she got better and was stable enough to go home. Of course everyone was estactic.

The same situation happened again this January and this March. Heart attack, hospitalized, it looked like it was over. But then again, she got better and we all went back home. Each time, we buy tickets to Germany and back for our whole family, which is about 5-6K. Plus accommodations, plus having to take time off of work and school, which is difficult.

Last week, my husband got a call that Marie had another heart attack. I told him he could go alone, but me and the kids would stay and he would have to buy his own plane ticket (I am the main income earner). Reason is because I can�t take more time off of work, and we cant afford to buy more plane tickets. I also find it difficult to say our heartfelt good-byes every time, only to repeat it two months later.

Caleb was outraged that I wouldn�t let him visit his dying grandmother, calling me all kinds of names, saying I was setting a terrible example for our children. After hearing Marie was okay this time again as well, he calmed down a bit but is giving me the cold shoulder and will refuse to talk to me or acknowledge my presence.

I don�t know what to do. We are comfortable, but can�t afford to take plane trips every few months for who knows how long. And I am not �keeping my husband away from his grandmother�, I am just saying he has to pay for his own ticket if he wants to go.

AITA?

I can only imagine the grandmother cackling, rubbing her hands with glee. �That�s right, I lived! Again!�

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 04:32

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Here, have a different tech story then:

AITA for not being grateful for a birthday gift and making it super clear that I don�t want this and clearly they can not listen

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I am in my 50s and I am sick of getting technology for gifts. My kids are all into tech, they always buy the newest stuff and for years I have beeen trying to get it through their heads I don�t want it. I will upgrade when I need to but I am so sick of relearning technology.

I work on the computer for work 8 hours a day and when I get home I don�t want to mess around with tech to make it work. Sometimes I also don�t want to be staring at a screen in my downtime.

My biggest pet peeve about this was them getting me something and then get annoyed if I ask for help setting stuff up. I used to have a bunny tv and i don�t use cable or streaming platforms. The tv worked fine and I was thinking of getting a Roku. They knew I wanted a Roku. They got me the worlds most frustrating smart tv. Half the time it won�t connect to the free tv networks. I hate that tv, and it is in my basement. It�s a Samsungs smart tv

I have made it so clear I don�t want tech. Christmas they got me new Bluetooth headphones. I couldn�t get them to pair, it took my DIL an hour to make it work. Whole time everyone is pissed I asked for help.

So I really dislike getting tech, I asked for my birthday if they wanted to get me something get me a book off a list or gift card.

I got a tablet, and they told me I can download book. I don�t want to read books on a drat screen. This was my breaking point. I gave it back and told them I don�t want it. This started an argument with them. By the end I was asking why they can�t loving listen to me and I am done with this.

My son called me a jerk for being ungrateful.

Edit: I don�t care how much cheaper ebooks are, I don�t enjoy reading from a screen. I just don�t

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 05:36

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

The 'I hate massages' (but not really) sounds like a sitcom plot.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2024 15:55

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

If we�re posting old stories, here�s one that I like.

WIBTA for spraying some kid with my garden hose daily after he walks all over our lawn

quote:

I (37M) live with my wife (37F) and son and daughter ( 9 and 11 respectively).

Recently, there has been this kid who comes by our house after playing soccer and either rides his bike or walks over the lawn with his cleats on his way home.

It started out as me giving him stern looks whenever I saw him, then it slowly progressed to me asking him to just go around.

The last time I asked him to stop he made a point to stomp extra hard and twist his feet in to the grass to piss me off.

Since then Ive just been hosing him. The first time I sprayed him with the hose he ran off, but then for some reason he just started standing there while I hose him like he enjoys it.

Its now progressed to me sitting on my lawn chair pointing my hose at him, and him just staring at me while he does so. Sometimes we even make small talk.

Im ngl, it started off as a really bitter relationship, but Ive actually gotten to know the kid quite well, we talk for maybe 15-20 mins everyday, and he doesnt seem to mind being hosed down after sweating hard playing soccer.

He comes by daily and we just shoot the poo poo while I hose him and he stands there for a bit.

Wife told me I need to stop, even after I explained it to her she said Im making us look like childish idiots.

I guess I could stop, but honestly it�s really funny waiting for him to come by and I see no harm in it. WIBTA?

Also, some new content:

AITA for continuing to be the "Disneyland dad"

quote:

Hello everyone! I'm new to reddit so if I make mistakes here sorry in advance.

I am divorced from my wife "June" we have one daughter together "Clare". We divorced on bad terms after I lost my job in the pandemic. Came home to an empty house and a note saying she needed someone who could "give her the lifestyle she and Clare deserved." I didn't see Clare for a while aftbecause of pandemic restriction on court proceedings

However I was on of the lucky ones who came out of the pandemic better than I went in and im now in fantastic financialshape. I now have 50% custody of my daughter and am trying to make up for lost time. This means, since the world has opened up again, as long as Clare does well in school and helps a with her chores, the weekend she's with me , we will do whatever she wants, usury things like museums, movies, near-by national parks, festivals in our city, etc.

Yesterday I went to pick up my daughter from school and June and her husband were waiting there and asked to speak to me. They said that the businesses he used to run took a massive hit during the pandemic and have never recovered, and that it's meant they've had to scale back their lifestyle significantly, including June getting a job. They then informed me that June was pregnant and they didn't want my spoiling Clare to affect the relationship between the two kids, as they couldn't do the same for their baby. I told them I had no intention of changing how I raised Clare because she was great kid and deserves to be rewarded for her good behavior.

The conversation devolved from there with June finally screaming at me that I was just some "drat Disneyland dad using his money to get back at her"

At the time I didn't think I was wrong but since talking to my girlfriend and some friends in child education, I'm wondering if I am the rear end in a top hat for setting my daughter and her half sibling up for conflict?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 02:51

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I know it�s an old post but I like �Muah, be safe and use rubbers!�

# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 05:32

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Top comment on a boring AITA post about a wedding:

quote:

ESH - Why are so many of these threads about weddings? I'm going to get married in a goddamned mcdonald's parking lot at this rate, and anyone who can sneak in a 40oz in a paper bag is invited.

You're both the rear end in a top hat because it's literally one goddamned day in your entire lives. And you're ruining weeks and months of time, effort, and money over it. For no reason other than hype. Step back. Take a breath. And make a call. Go, or don't.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 15:24

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

The fact that reduction guy�s wife found his post, read it out loud to him, and he posted his update using the same account (where she could easily read it) spills it over into fanfiction bait territory for me. Or pure, undistilled obliviousness.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 05:01

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

The Alchemist posted:

You are allowed to divorce for any reason, but do go on with it and dont give your wife false hope that you might accept her three wolves one day when you're not

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 06:45

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Rescue Toaster posted:

Man you guys are always so quick to jump to racism.

They could be a massive bigoted piece of poo poo about LGBTQ stuff instead you know.

I'm not sure I've yet met a single homophobic person that wasn't racist in some way.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2024 17:27

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

My husbands friends Gf claimed my husband was cheating with her.

quote:

I am 34F married to 38M. We have 2 kids ages 13 and 11. This is going to be a weird one, I'm sorry, but I need some advice.

I met my husband when I was 18. He and I both liked to run and we met at a 5k fundraiser our town put on. They do it every year and have like booths and different things for entertainment and stuff. The entire race we were mostly racing each other and it was a lot of fun. After that we walked around together to see all of the booths. We got something to eat and spent a few hours talking. I don't think we've spent more than a few days apart since then.

We for the most part have a great relationship. I've never suspected him of anything. He has never done anything for me to suspect him of anything. Dude is pretty much an angel. He is the type of guy that doesn't ever lose his temper. He is sweet and kind and loving. He is also a fantastic father.

Anyway he works at a papermill. He's been there for several years. He has a friend there who is dating a lady we will call R (25ish F). R is a little too friendly towards my husband when they come over but my husband brushes her off. He is very oblivious to advances.

I got a txt message from R. She sent me a dick pic and claimed my husband was cheating with her. The problem is my husband has a bit of a crooked dick.... I know his D when I see it, I've been using it for a very long time. She clearly doesn't know that and it wasn't him. I mean you can claim angles change the look or whatever to make someone think it's someone else's d but the curve can't be covered easily. It wasn't even the right size or shade or anything. It was very obvious she's never seen my husband's d.

Obviously I texted my husband and sent him screenshots. I wanted him to know what was going on and I didn't really know how to handle the situation. My husband told his friend and his friend claimed family emergency and left for the day.

Well apparently his friends girlfriend claims I am making it up to break them up and it's a whole thing. His friend was really being an A hole over the phone towards both me and my husband and my husband got into it with him over that. My husband is on my side. He saw the screen shots and has seen the texts himself when he got home. He also knows I wouldn't make up something so weird.

Anyway his friend is wanting to come over and see the texts for himself. However he was being an a hole so I don't want anything else to do with this situation.

Husband thinks I should just show him the texts and then he can do whatever from there. My husband would be there and the guy would behave toward me. Husband also said he could show the guy his D ( in photo) if asked to prove it's not him.

I'm not sure though. This whole thing is super weird and I'm still mad about the way he spoke to me.

Tdlr- my husband's friends Gf texted me claiming to have slept with my husband but the picture isn't him. I texted it to my husband and he told his friend but the friend got mad at me. He wants to see the texts now but he was an A hole and I don't want anything else to do with this situation.

Edit- I'm not super comfortable with having a man who threatened me at my house but my husband and I agree with most of the comments, thanks everyone. He's just going to take my phone to work with him tomorrow and show his friend the messages and leave his phone with me so I will have a way to get in touch with people. I have nudes of him if he needs to prove it's not him in person.

r/relationships: I know his D when I see it, I've been using it for a very long time

# ¿ Apr 20, 2024 18:35

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Edit: deleted for gross allegations.

ApplesandOranges fucked around with this message at 08:06 on Apr 21, 2024

# ¿ Apr 21, 2024 05:53

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Yeah I didn�t catch that or read the comments, so I�ve deleted that. Mea culpa.

Have other content instead, let�s change the topic.

AITA For not lying to the police for my family?

quote:

Hey Reddit, I need some serious opinions on a situation that's tearing me apart. My family has always been close-knit, I'm talking great grandmother and below lives in the house, but lately, they've been swimming in deep waters.

The other day, the police showed up at their doorstep, asking questions about some seriously sketchy stuff my family is involved in. And let me tell you, it's not just a little white lie or a minor misunderstanding. We're talking about full-on criminal activity here.

So basically, my family got caught up in this business venture that turned out to be a front for all sorts of illegal activities. We're talking about fraud, money laundering, you name it. It's the kind of stuff that could make headlines and ruin lives.

Now, when the cops came knocking, my family immediately went into panic mode. They started Freaking out and my father answered the door in like a fake white suburban father act, acting like he had no idea what happened and agreed to get questioned, and he apparently had actual forged papers and passports in the house at the time. (that's all i know)

I know they were brought in and asked questions, but I don't know the details on that obviously.

Part of me understands where they're coming from. They're scared, desperate, and willing to do whatever it takes to stay out of prison. And yeah, they're my family, so I feel this sense of loyalty pulling me in their direction.

But on the other hand, I can't ignore my own safety. I believe that if I do this I might get brought into their problem. Lying to the police Would just put me in this crazy ordeal.

So now, I'm stuck in the middle of this mess, torn between loyalty to my family and staying true to myself. They see me as betraying them, abandoning them when they need me the most. And yeah, I feel guilty as hell for potentially throwing them under the bus.

They are making me feel like I'm betraying them by not helping.

But at the end of the day, I can't shake the feeling that maybe my family are not who I thought they were. I'm lost and could really use some outside opinions.

Yes, I understand this is a very easy decision, but I don't live with my family, and I haven't for a while. I have learned all of this within the past week or two and I'm just kind of lost at the moment, I believe they are already f'ed because of the forged papers so even if I do lie, I think I would just be equally as f'ed as them.

Edit: Wow this got a lot more attention than I thought it would.

Thank you all for the comments I was not originally aware that I can just choose to not say anything, me and my lawyer friend have both agreed that I should just wait it out and not say anything else, I won't be updating anything for a bit unless something crazy happens.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2024 08:08

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I don't know if we're still doing 'best of' previous threads, but I was reminded of this one:

AITA for losing my temper at SIL after she ruined the meal I made?

quote:

My SIL (Ashley) is, for lack of a nicer word, obnoxious. She constantly does whatever she wants, even when you ask her not to. She thinks she's right above everyone else, even when she's dead wrong. And she's just got this very stereotypical baby sister attitude where she acts like she can do whatever she wants and nobody is allowed to be mad at her because "she's baby!" (yes that's something she regularly says). My husband says she's the youngest of their family so her acting that way is normal. But I pointed out I'm the youngest of my family and I've never acted that way. I don't like SIL but I've been polite and kept a peaceful relationship for my husband's sake.

Until today. Today was the first time since 2019 that my husband or I have been able to see our small friend group in person. We all got our shots 2 months ago and decided to meet up finally for dinner. I cooked while our friends either pitched in ingredients, made appetizers, or brought wine. I made pasta ravioli by hand, which was HARD. I made enough for me, hubs, and our friends. But after they arrived and we all caught up while I was finishing the food SIL showed up. She let herself in and greeted everyone happily. They know her and said hi, but I subtly asked Hubs what she was doing here. Turns out he'd mentioned the gathering to her and he guessed she assumed she was invited? I told him to tell her to leave, because she can't just invite herself like this. He said that would be humiliating for her and asked if she could stay. I was annoyed but agreed.

Things were fine at the start, I had a few sips of wine to relax and was about to plate everyone's food at the kitchen island and bring it to them but forgot parmesan so went to get it. I heard SIL say she'd help bring the food to the table, I said no thanks and to stay seated. My back was to her and she said something I missed because of the loud CLANG of a pot hitting the floor. I heard everyone gasp and I closed my eyes. I knew what happened but didn't want to look. When I did I just started crying. HOURS of work splattered on the floor. SIL said it was okay, it was "just some pasta, I'll buy more".

I lost it. I called her a stupid bitch that ruined the entire dinner because she refuses to listen. She started boo-hooing and I told her to shut up and leave. She ran out crying and I sat down to cry too.

Our friends consoled me and Hubs tried to say I went too far but our friends told him he was an rear end in a top hat and SIL was in the wrong. They helped clean and we ordered pizza. But after they left Hubs and I were flooded with calls from his family saying I was a horrible spoiled brat who made their baby cry over some stupid food. Now I'm just crying and feeling like garbage. Did I go too far? I don't usually get so angry or curse. AITA?

***edit-***Hubs said he understands I'm upset the food was wasted but he doesn't think my outburst was warranted and was actually kind of extreme. Tomorrow is his off day and I told him he's going to be making the dish like I did, by hand and on his own and then at the end we'll see if he thinks my 'outburst' was unwarranted.

***edit two-***welp! Hubs made pasta for the first time today! And it went much like I'd anticipated. He was all confidence and 'it'll be easy!' during the first 30 minutes. But towards the end of the first hour that disappeared as the burn in his arms really set in from making enough dough for almost 60 ravioli. I did not lift a finger to help him knead since I didn't get any help when I did it.

After the dough was done and wrapped up in the fridge he made the filling, which took another 40 or so minutes. Then the dough was brought out and he had to start crafting the ravioli, all by hand after rolling the dough out. Lord that went on for ages. Just rolling some dough out, cutting out squares, filling them and putting the top on, rinse and repeat until the dough and filling was all gone.

All in all the entire process from start to finish for him on his own took a little over 4 hours! And that's with us not actually COOKING any of the ravioli. Also he didn't make any sauce or cook any shrimp for the ravioli to be served in/with. Also he didn't prepare any salad to go with it. And when I told him this (that there was still more to do) he almost started crying.

He started saying sorry at the 1 hour mark and hasn't stopped apologizing since.

We had a long talk about his sister and the dinner she ruined, the other times she's pulled similar incidents (there's a lot), and how him and his family always let her get away with it. He says he knows how they treat her isn't normal and he doesn't like it but was raised to just 'go with the flow' regarding Ashley. But he said he's going to call her and tell her we need some space from her for now.

update?Hubs just got a message from his cousin of Ashley laughing and bragging about intentionally spilling the pasta to 'teach me a lesson' for being 'such a snobby bitch'. A handful of you all thought she did it on purpose but I didn't actually think she did until hearing her admit to it.

I have never seen my husband this pissed off before. Idk what's going to happen now...

Four months later...

(UPDATE) AITA for losing my temper at SIL after she ruined the meal I made?

quote:

Hi, everyone. So SO much has happened since the pasta fiasco that I'd honestly completely forgotten about this account until this morning. When I logged on I saw that I had a bunch of requests for an update so here I am. I was going to post this in an edit on my original post but it ended up being way too long. Someone said I should post it in the comments but they're locked so I decided to just make my own post and put a link to it in the original AITA post since I'm not sure how to do an official update post on the am i the ahole sub sorry.

So for the update. Like I said, a LOT happened since then. I'll try to remember all of it. But be warned I'm just going to put down everything as I remember it, and try make it in order. But its been like four months so I may not do it perfectly. Here goes:

So SIL bragged to her and Hub's cousin (Brenda) that she ruined the dinner on purpose
Hubs went to confront his family, SIL denied everything til Hubs played the recording.
Hubs banned SIL from our house until she apologized to me sincerely and reimbursed us for all of the wasted food.
SIL went ballistic, sobbing and throwing a massive tantrum until MIL tried calming her down and scolding Hubs for 'choosing some floozy over your blood family'.
Hubs apparently flipped and called out his family on their weird babying of SIL, saying they'd made her into a spoiled monster. This just started a huge screaming match between all of them before Hubs said he wasn't speaking to them for the foreseeable future before storming out.
That's when he called me and told me to block all of his family and before I could hang up I started getting tons of calls/texts from all of them just saying the most hateful stuff to me.
All of my socials (from my personal insta to my work email) were bombarded with hate until I managed to block all of them (but it took weeks for them to all stop).
The only people in Hubs family who weren't harassing us were his paternal grandparents, his maternal grandmother, a few of his cousins on both sides, and his paternal aunts/uncles. Actually I think all of the hate was from his maternal side though not all of them.
After blocking them all things were peaceful until a few weeks later our friend's (Kelly) car was vandalized really bad when she stayed at our house for the weekend. I'm talking the sides were keyed, all the tires were slashed, the windows were spray painted, and they even tore off the tag and shoved it down into the driver side door where the window slides down.
We checked the doorbell cam and it was SIL and BIL. Seems they mistook Kelly's car for mine (I lent my car to my mom since hers needed new tires and I could use Hubs if needed) since both Kelly and my car are black.
Needless to say we called the cops and Kelly pressed charges on both of them. Thankfully with the video evidence she said she was able to make a no fault claim against Ashley (who had insurance) and Kelly got her repairs paid for (though barely..).
SIL and BIL getting arrested caused a huge rift in Hubs family between those who don't think it was necessary that they be arrested (most think they should have just paid for repairs out of pocket) and those who think they got what was coming to them. Also the arrest cost BIL his job at a university? Hubs cousin Brenda who is keeping us in the loop told us that anyways. We didn't look into it.
Brenda also informed us that during the whole family drama thing it was revealed that Ashley is only their half sister. According to the maternal grandmother anyways. Seems she verbally tore MIL to pieces after MIL insinuated SIL 'hadn't done anything to deserve this treatment'. Brenda said their grandmother said "You felt bad that your husband didn't love her because he knew she was just your shameful affair baby! So you loved her more than your other kids in some twisted effort to make up for it! And you pulled your other kids into doing it too and all you did was succeed in spoiling her rotten!"
Brenda told us more but that part is what really stuck in my mind. Honestly hearing all of that was unbelievable for me. I had no idea this level of drama was buried in my husband's family. Then again neither did he. And all of this snowballed from a ruined ravioli dinner.

Hubs and I have decided to distance ourselves from that part of his family for now. After handing Kelly a copy of the video of SIL and BIL tearing up her car we more or less washed our hands of dealing with them all. And I've been way less stressed lately, Hubs too that we've both noticed. So not a terrible end?

Not sure who will see this update but I'll be logging out of this account after a while since I think everything is mostly over. Thanks for reading and extra thanks for everyone who sent me so many kind messages after my first post. It made me feel a lot better.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2024 14:33

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for not waiting for my wife at the next subway station after I got on the train, and the doors closed before she got on?

quote:

So basically, wife and I were in a rush to catch our subway train to go to a brunch with my parents at our favorite restaurant. We were already 10 minutes late, and my parents are always super punctual and I didn't want to keep them waiting any longer for us.

As we approach the escalator down to our subway platform, I can hear our train approaching. So, I tell my wife that we need to catch the train, and we both hurry down the escalator, me in front of her. When we got to the bottom, I heard the subway door chimes, indicating that the doors were about to close. So, I rushed into the train at the last moment, but my wife was left on the platform of the other side.

I thought, okay, well this sucks that I made the train but my wife didn't. But it's not really a big deal because we both know exactly where we are going, and it's only 5 stops away. I will just meet her at the restaurant. (I don't get any cell service underground, so we couldn't communicate with each other)

So I arrive at the restaurant alone and greet my parents, who immediately question me about where my wife is. I told them what happened, and they didn't really seem to think much of it. But when she gets there 20 minutes later, she is all angry at me for not getting off the train at the next stop and waiting for her there, then getting on that train and continuing together. It made for a bit of an uncomfortable brunch, because we could all tell there was tension. After the brunch on our way home, she explained why she was mad and then became all short with me and pretty much gave me silence the rest of the way home.

My position is that we both knew where we were going and she knew my parents are easily irritated when I arrive late, so why would I have gotten off the train to wait for her unnecessarily?

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 08:21

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Bolding mine.

AITA for constantly telling my colleague to get her carbon monoxide detector inspected?

quote:

My colleague (26F) has been super annoying at the office lately. She has been telling everyone that her house is haunted and all the weird stuff that keeps happening in it. It�s a small office as there are only 6 of us there typically. Everyone feeds her delusions but I (24M), the only man there except my boss who�s rarely there, always shut her down when she speaks of her paranormal stories to me or when she�s being super loud and annoying about them.

Her first story was about seeing a shadowy figure in the corner of her bedroom. Her second story was about her toothbrush sometimes being in the kitchen when she knows she put it in the bathroom. Her third story was about was about her blanket being on the couch after coming home from work when she knew she used it to sleep in her bedroom the night before.

I keep telling her every time that these are all plausible experiences when you have a carbon monoxide leak and that she should get her carbon monoxide detectors inspected. I told her to look it up. She never does and she keeps telling me that she is certain that her house is haunted. No one in the office agrees with me and they keep telling me to stop belittling her experiences. Will send her the link to this thread in a few hours when it�s full of NTAs. Thanks.

After the very expected responses

OP posted:

Way to ruin my thread with a YTA

# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 05:59

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

�Paragraph break� to the tune of �Take a break� from Hamilton.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 07:57

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Man, story about guy with racist mom/sister just makes me so mad. There's not even a satisfying end to that one, what a bummer of a story.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:55

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

There are some okay joke posts but they almost never include the phrase 'xx is a jokester/prankster/etc." Just like how the phrase "brutally honest" or "tell it like it is" is pretty much always a bad sign.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 11:12

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I did not enjoy that the post saga ended in �I�m drinking a lot and thinking of ending it�.

Can we not.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 02:38

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

EDIT: Tuesday, so deleted

ApplesandOranges fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Apr 30, 2024

# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 04:01

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Oh, whoops. Have other non Tuesday content instead.

AITA for "grounding" my adult sister?

quote:

I (25F) live in a three bedroom apartment with my fianc� (27M). We have a six month old son.

My younger sister Mia (fake name; 20F) recently started attending a university that's closer to where I live than both my parents' places. Because she needs to get to class early in the morning, my fianc� and I allowed her to move into our spare bedroom. She's been living with us since January.

There's a set of rules I've been having Mia follow since she moved in, mostly to make sure everyone can live peacefully. One of the most important rules concerns arriving after my son's bedtime (usually between 19h and 20h). Mia is allowed to come home however late she wants, as long as she doesn't make too much noise.

The door to the apartment has an electronic keypad lock, and the one we use also has a normal lock under it. Everyone has a copy of the key, but we all prefer typing in the password. However, the keypad is very noisy, and my son's nursery isn't far from the door. Every time the keypad is used after I've put the baby to sleep, he wakes up.

So naturally, the rule about getting home late includes not using the keypad. Everyone, including Mia, has known about this since day one.

At first, we had no problems. But now that Mia has gotten used to college life, she's been going out at night frequently. This past month, she has arrived home after midnight every Friday and Saturday night. She always forgets the "don't make too much noise" rule, and she has, on multiple occasions, used the keypad. My son wakes up crying every. drat. Time.

I'd sit her down and remind her of the rule whenever this happened, but she'd continue to do it. My fianc� and I got tired of putting our baby back to sleep because of that, so I changed the password and told Mia she was no longer allowed to use the keypad. She agreed, and promised to try to make less noise.

On Friday night this week, Mia went out with her friends. She came home very drunk at 4AM, and forgot that I'd changed the password. Not only did she use the keypad, she also got the password wrong so many times that she triggered an alarm.

I was furious. Not only did my baby wake up crying, but I also got complaints from my neighbors.

The next morning, I told Mia that I'm establishing a curfew: while living with me, she needs to be home by 20h. She won't be allowed to go out at night for the rest of the semester.

Mia put up a fight, saying I have no right to "ground" her like this or dictate what she does with her free time, but I held my ground. I told her she'll be free to do as she pleases when she has her own place and raises her own family. While living with mine, she has to do as I say.

She told our parents about this. Our mother and stepfather are both on my side; our father is on Mia's. He's saying I'm not her mother, and I have no right to treat her like a child. He also thinks it's unfair to do this to her over a drunken mistake.

AITA?

EDIT: No, I can't mute the keypad.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 04:09

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Only other thing I can think of is him being scared of anything sounding like an official commitment label like �boyfriends�.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 05:05

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Debated just posting the title for this one, but have the whole post I guess.

Should I end it with a weeaboo?

quote:

TL;DR;: been dating a guy for a couple of weeks and found out he is a weeaboo. Should I call it off?

I (32 F) have been casually dating this guy (35 M) for a couple of weeks. For context, I am Chinese-American. He is white. I knew he liked anime and video games from the beginning but didn�t think much of it.

Last week, we were talking about places we�d want to go to and he told me his dream vacation was Japan. He wanted to go for Japan for four weeks and tower over everyone. When I asked him why, he described himself as a weeaboo. (I didn�t even know what a weeaboo was) Turns out, he has a pretty deep obsession with Japanese anime culture and wishes he was Japanese. I honestly thought it was like a casual interest, or that he liked a couple of animes. As someone of Asian descent, I am hyper vigilant against people who might fetishize me. As far as I know, he doesn�t exclusively date Asian girls. But the whole obsession with Japanese culture is icking me out.

He�s really nice. He�s smart and creative. He�s funny. He cooks. He has a lot of friends and a good career and has a good relationship with his family. We If it wasn�t for this weeaboo thing, I�d be quite into him.

Is there a point in continuing? Should I just call it off at this point?

# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 05:26

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Shanghaied posted:

Maybe they should consider helping the sister get her own friends? It has been a few decades since I was 16 myself (), but I don't think there are many 16-year-olds who want to hang out with 12-year-olds. 16 is like prime up-your-own-rear end age.

I thought that was 21.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 14:59

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for "flirting" with my friends?

quote:

I (28M) and my GF (29F) generally have a pretty normal/stable relationship.

I have this group chat of friends (all guys) whom I play games with once in a while. We used to do that more, but life kind of took over.

Anyway, even though we don't do stuff together as much any more, we still talk a lot and share memes. Recently, we've been doing this thing where one person will share sexual content, and everyone will re-share it in the group. Not porn, but stuff like "I just jerked off to someone in this groupchat", "it's not an orgy if none of the streams touch", and other such content that basically alludes to the group chat being a gay sex den (if it matters, we're all straight).

One day my GF picked up my phone to do something (we have an open phone policy) and it happened to unlock on the group chat, and I guess she got curious and scrolled. She got quite unhappy, and we had a minor fight. Her position is that the content matters more than the intentions, and I shouldn't be sending such things to anyone. Mine is that it's a joke (admittedly not that funny to outsiders, but we think it's hilarious).

# ¿ May 1, 2024 03:17

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

My sister is about to have her second baby (a girl). BIL's twin has a boy so I think he's going to want to push for a third kid to see if he can get a boy too.

Twin competition is weird.

# ¿ May 1, 2024 05:33

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I might be weird but 30s doesn't seem like a weird age to be a dress-up Santa. Does he think only guys in their 50s do it?

# ¿ May 1, 2024 05:49

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 04:22

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

That's a very good post :3:

# ¿ May 1, 2024 07:13

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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