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ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Corky, can you explain the rule about reposts more in the OP? It just says "Tuesday" which wouldn't mean anything to someone who doesn't already follow the thread.

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ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

FMguru posted:

When you have a chance to turn a celebration of your love and future together with your partner into also being a chance to humiliate your one too-pretty friend you've always hated, well you just have to take it.

AITAH for refusing to attend my best friend's wedding because she wants me to wear an oversized suit (I'm a woman) ?

OP should attend the wedding as a guest, wearing some kind of stunning tight gold lame outfit that really draws attention away from the bride.

Rita, since I'm 6'3", and maintain a very consistent panda bear shape, I love your Talking Heads wedding theme idea.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

WIBTA for wanting my funeral to happen BEFORE I die

quote:

for the record i am still VERY young (mid-20s) so this isn't a particularly imperative issue or even really that important at the moment, it's just me being paranoid that i might be... eccentric with this choice, i guess?

I've recently underwent a near-death experience, on top of losing all of my grandparents within the span of two years or so, in addition to someone i was distantly friends with in the family dying as well. a lot of funerals, a lot of medical visits, so my mortality is very much on mind.

after sitting through so many memorials it really hit me that it's only really in the wake of death where people feel they can say, completely openly and honestly, how grateful they were to have someone in their life. (i'm guilty of this too, and i've tried to make it a point to say it more often to the people i care about.)

with this in mind, i really don't want to spend the last moments of my life just hoping that people will say nice things about me at my funeral. i kind of want to write it in my will or like. hospice plan that i want to hear what people have to say about me before i actually die via a memorial or something similar, so i can hopefully feel a little more fulfilled before it actually happens. is it vain and rear end in a top hat-ish to make people think i died before i actually did just to feel good about myself? probably. that's why i'm here lol

i haven't actually told anyone this outside of occasionally joking that i'll be listening to anything anyone says at my funeral, but understandably i feel kind of insane planning this out to myself. like it feels like a comedy sketch bit rather than a genuine plan. but eh. i just want to feel appreciated before i pass haha

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Obligatory "TIFU is 90% fake and 80% stories written one-handed" disclaimer

TIFU by mistakenly believing exercise turns you on for nearly thirty years.

quote:

So this is going to need some context so I look like less of an idiot (though I thoroughly assure you I'm an idiot).
Ten minutes ago I found out. Ten goddamn minutes ago, I found out that a worldview i've held my entire life is, in fact, not true, and apparently I'm just a weirdo.

You see, whenever I exercise, something goes haywire in my brain that spikes my libido to something ridiculous. Think Jekyll and Hyde. That's weird for me to type, because my entire life I thought that was everyone. I legitimately thought that was just a common thing: people exercise, and as a result get turned on.

And you know what, in my defense how could not. What are workout ads if not "grr sweat lookat this sweaty sexy body grr," and like 30% of all porn involving women in their 30's (which is like 90% of my porn) can be summed up with "hey you know what goes great with pilates? penis." I thought you people were like me, who legitimately got turned on through exercise, because why else would you advertise it like that and have so many euphemisms? Dafuq is wrong with you? But apparently was just dropped on my head too many times as a child or something.

gently caress. Now this is a gently caress UP because as I'm typing this in real time, I'm remembering all the times in my life I've tried to incorporate cardio into foreplay. No, you idiot, not like "hur dur lets do planks in bed before we blast our triceps," but christ, ugh this hurts so drat much to type now that I know it's all a lie but poo poo like getting bootycalls and responding with poo poo like "mhm lemme do a quick workout first" OH GOD I'm realizing how loving stupid that is if there's no context WHY DIDNT ANY OF YOU TELL ME THIS. I THOUGHT SHE UNDERSTOOD AND WAS ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH BUT INSTEAD I WAS THE loving FOOL WHO WAS DOING SQUATS IN THE GYM BEFORE SEX. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I DID THAT poo poo THINKING THEY WORKED THE SAME WAY AND EXERCISE ALSO GOT THE BLOOD FLOWING AND WAS THE MOTHER OF APHRODISIACS AND

Oh god. Oh god oh gently caress. ink;efwerioj'ewij'oderwo'jerfij'eruhotrijepr I'VE TOLD THEM TO WORK OUT BEFORE TOO. Oh my good Jesus Christ I

I can't believe did that. Oh my god save me I didn't know. I LITERALLY TOLD GIRLS I WAS WITH, thinking in my STUPID BRAIN, my STUPID STUPID BRAIN, that it would be hot if they worked out beforehand. told them they should work out more. What the gently caress was doing I'm literally melting in horror here right now. I'm remembering it all; literally thought it would do the same thing to them as it did to me, make the sex better, make everything better, but instead, INFUCKINGSTEAD I'm the goddamn JACKASS who probably came across as 'HUR DUR TONE UR ABS BEFORE HAVING SEX WITH ME' or some nightmarish nonsense. Like some hellish dudebro straight from the bowels of the foulest yacht club fraternity. gently caress. How the gently caress did they put up with that. How the gently caress do I apologize for that, because what the gently caress am I going to do just call them up and be like "hehe hey yeah Angie know it's been five years since we've talked and I know you're in a lovely relationship but I wanted to tell you those times I tried to get us to go on a jog before sex wasn't because thought you were fat but because apparently something's wrong with my brain."

No. No, I can't do that, I have to live with that. For the rest of my life, my goddamn life I have to live with that. Why didn't you tell me. Why didn't any of you tell me. All the 'workout euphemisms' I've used with girlfriends. Oh god their blank stares make sense now. Fifteen years of dating, fifteen years of blank stares. It all makes sense now. It all makes sense.
Oh god. oh gently caress.
TL;DR Christ. Something is odd with my brain in that exercise of any form spikes my libido, and from workout ads, euphemisms, etc, I believed everyone on earth worked the same way. So I've incorporated that into my relationships and flings, like a goddamn idiot, my entire life, much to their confusion. No one corrected me. Found out just now that no, it doesn't work like that. Edit: I'll respond to these comments later, I've got some... apologies to make first. Not sure how l'm going to go about "I'm sorry that I made us jog before sex" sound sincere, but I'll think of something.

Update: Apologized to an ex I'm still close with about this, she thought it was the funniest thing ever. Apparently she just thought I was 'super into my body,' like an egomaniac. Which is...... better? dunno, glad I closed that up but don't think I'll message the exes I'm not on good terms with; that would be too dumb to just casually bring up after five years of not talking.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

counterpoint: everyone should have a pet cow

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

WIBTA for insisting my roommates dont use my cup to top off the fish tank?

quote:

What it says on the tin.

I have a cup (I got it for free, but it is mine, it even has my name on it) that I really like.

I noticed that my roommates have been consistantly using it to top off the fish tank and I told them not to. Like I don't mind when they drink out of it, but it just kinda grosses me out when they use it for the fish tank. I know that it's not dirty afterwords since they just use our tap water, and it's illogical for me to be so grossed out by it, but something about it just really makes me sick to my stomach.

We compromised on them washing the cup afterwords, which does make me feel better, but I would really prefer if they just used a different cup entirely. We have plenty of cups they could use instead and I wouldn't care if they used any of those, but them using That Specific Cup makes me really queesy.

So WIBTA if I insisted they stop using my cup?

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Yeah, worst thing that'll be in the cup is tap water and dechlorinator (unless they're on well/rain/reverse-osmosis/etc water). Plus salt if they're running a saltwater tank.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Public education as a public good is in danger and that causes people who have devoted their life to it, like some teachers, to overreact to any perceived threat or criticism.

Many teachers are great, not every teacher is terrible, but it's the bad ones who leave oversized memories and populate our anecdotes.

so, like, LoG, i get what's going on for you, but: stop.

ChickenOfTomorrow fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Apr 15, 2024

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA for buying something off of someone else's wishlist??

quote:

So basically what it says. When I get pissed off or annoyed at a friend or acquaintance or family member that happens to have like an Amazon wishlist, I will go to their wishlist and buy something off of it for myself. For example, when my roommate didn't pay their share of the rent on time for three months in a row, making both of us look delinquent to our landlord despite me paying my share in the portal, I went on their Amazon wishlist and pulled up the listing for a pair of boots they want and bought them for myself. They noticed the boots and were like "oh hey I've been looking at those online" and I was like "oh? Really? They're so nice 😊".

I dont think I'm the rear end in a top hat because I'm not hurting them, and it stops me from doing something more dramatic or harmful when I'm pissed. But I might be the rear end in a top hat because I feel some people, namely my roommate, have definitely noticed that I've done this but it's the kind of thing that would be crazy to accuse someone of, but like I really did do it lol. I do it pretty regularly.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA trying to contact my ex about our dog's health insurance after he asked me to stop contacting him?

quote:

My ex and I recently got divorced. We had a dog together (Gus), but in the divorce I got to keep him. Last weekend, Gus got really sick and started throwing a ton. I rushed him to the vet for treatment and called my ex for the first time in months. He had told me that if anything happened to Gus, to reach out and he'd help. Well, I called him to check on the details of the Gus's health insurance because it was through his work (he got a $5 discount each month). He told me that Gus was insured and to send him the bills and he'd file the claims online. Also, it was my ex's birthday that day by pure coincidence. I didn't want to contact him on his birthday, but I had no choice! I needed to figure out the health insurance so I could know how much of the bill would be covered before paying thousands of dollars.

Turned out Gus had pancreatitis, nothing too serious with treatment. I spent about $1500 in vet bills that day. After paying everything under the assumption that insurance would ultimately pay $900 of the bill and I'd only pay $600, my ex texted me to never contact him again because "he needed space" and that talking to me was "too painful." I told him, okay I'll stop messaging you but just give me the insurance login so I can file the claim or transfer ownership of the policy to me (as my name was not on the insurance policy, I have no access to it at all unless he transfers the account to me, authorizes me, or gives me the login information).

He refused. Every time I kept messaging him, asking him to do one of those two things, he kept turning it around on me and telling me that I was being selfish and disrespectful by ignoring his boundaries, that Gus isn't his problem and since I got to keep him, I have to pay his bills. So now I have to not only pay all the bills and follow-up care, but I have to get a new policy and with how insurance works in the US, Gus will no longer be covered for future issues related to pancreatits or his skin allergies, because those are now considering "pre-existing conditions." 🙄

Well, I kept bugging him for days. I offered to pay him $200 to make the transfer. I threatened to message his sister and see if she would talk sense into him and he claimed that "I nearly gave his mom a stroke" because of the whole divorce so to not message his family. I requested he attend mediation with me so we could handle the issue, and he said he could meet with me in JUNE (this happened mid March) which will give him plenty of time to cancel the policy, I'm sure. I considered getting a court order to attend mediation with me but that'd cost $300. He kept refusing to help me, so I kept pushing and texting him and trying to call him, despite his requests to leave him alone. The $1500 vet bill is whatever. It sucks but I'll pay whatever I have to to keep my baby boy healthy. I'm just furious that this will make me get a new policy and that if more of the same issues come up, it won't be covered when it SHOULD BE. He just needs to transfer the policy (that he was still paying btw) to me.

I'm sure I'm not the rear end in a top hat but my ex clearly seems to think I am, so I came here to open the question. AITA?

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA for making fun of my friend for getting sloppy seconds?

quote:

We're all at Nash Bash (huge rugby celebration in Nashville) and my friend made out with someone who our other friend had hosed last year. We're all drunk and I jokingly asked them "How's it feel to have X's sloppy seconds?" They proceeded to get really offended and kicked me out of the smoking circle even tho they weren't rolling or providing the weed. Was I the rear end in a top hat?

P.S. sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes I am still drunk

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

FMguru posted:

The term I've seen for dudes like that is "hobosexual" - someone whose relationships are primarily driven by how quickly they can move in with that person and start mooching off them for housing/food/transportation.

Oh, I've heard them called "drummers"

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

FYI: Goldfish need at least 10 gallons of water per fish.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

hey gang

AITA for refusing to buy my friend gold?

quote:

I (f/33) have a very good friend (f/39) who is Hindu and an Indian immigrant, and this year she invited me and my wife (33) to celebrate Diwali with her. My wife and I are white canadians and not religious. We’ve been friends with her for almost a decade, but in the last few years have become very close and now she is basically family. We happily accepted.

We brought over food and the stuff to make paper lanterns, and we had a lovely time. The problem came when near the end of the night, when my friend told me that it’s been so long since she had people to celebrate Diwali with, and she was getting excited for presents. I didn’t know Diwali included presents so I hadn’t brought her anything, besides the craft supplies and food, she said that was fine and we could get her something next year.

I asked her what sort of gift she would like, and she said gold was the traditional gift and, I quote “but make sure it’s above 10 karat or it’s basically tin, I’d just throw it away.”

I thought this was a joke at first so I laughed, which made her confused. I explained that I would never give anyone gold as a gift, I’ve never even gotten my wife gold, we couldn’t even afford wedding rings. When she still looked confused I tried to clarify, and asked how much is a gift of gold, traditionally (since I’ve never bought gold, I had no idea how much it would cost.)

She told me a minimum of 500 dollars.

At this point is the behaviour I think might make me an rear end in a top hat, because I was laughing in complete disbelief very openly. I told her that was completely insane, and I would happily spend every Diwali with her and get her a gift, but there was no way I was buying her 500 dollars worth of gold, ever, especially not if it was a yearly thing.

I know that in India, my friend was of a pretty high caste socially and her family is well off, and here in Canada she is an accountant who owns her own condo, and is looking to buy more property and become a landlord. My wife and I live frugally, we’re blue collar and both from working class families. An average amount I spend on a Christmas or birthday gifts for someone I’m close to would be about 20-50 bucks.

After I’d explained all this to her, I could tell she was disappointed and it had made her sad and confused. Part of me feels bad for laughing at her tradition, especially since she made the effort to include us and has no family here to celebrate with. But it honestly boggles me, and makes me a bit mad, honestly, which I know is unfair since it’s just differences in how we grew up, but I can’t help feeling annoyed and like she’s not seeing her privilege.

This has been compounded by the fact that for Christmas, which we also celebrated with her, she actually gave us gold, worth quite a lot, in the form of a special coin. We’re not the type to display fancy stuff, so it just sits in storage now. But I’m worried she may expect tit-for-tat, even though the only way we could possibly afford to give her gold back in exchange is if we sold what she gave us which we are definitely not supposed to do.

We still hang out constantly and we will continue to do so, she is a for-life friend for a lot of reasons, and I’d love to make her holidays and celebrations special, but this is just a sticking point for me, and I find myself feeling/acting like a prick every time it’s brought up.

So, AITA? Does anyone have suggestions for this situation?





I want to know what sort of commemorative coin it was. please post your guesses.


ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA for sabotaging my husband's relationships?

quote:

In my country, arranged marriages are very common and this was how I (24F) got married with "Jason" (24M) (note that I said ARRANGED marriages, not FORCED marriages. An arranged marriage is basically when your family plays matchmaker with you and someone else, but it isn't forced). It's important to say I never wanted to get married and am for sure placed somewhere in the ace spectrum, because sex was never something important to me. But I knew Jason since we were kids and he was always nice to me, so I accepted to spend some time with him and see where it would go.

Turns out Jason and I had a lot in common. Our country is pretty religious, but neither of us saw that much importance in religion and just pretended to our families to not cause problems. We are both more on the introvert side and don't like crowds or big family reunions. When I told him about my feelings about sex and sexuality, he was sweet and understanding. We ended up becoming good friends and it was obvious the idea of marrying each other seemed appealing for us.

So we got married two years ago. We made a deal to be basically good friends who are married, to not have sex and sleep in different rooms. He was allowed to sleep with whoever he wanted since he was not getting this from me. Everything was perfectly fine.

Our families, however, really started to pressure us to have children this last year. Since this was so important to them, we agreed to, well, try. But first I asked him to make an STI exam since he had his fair share of casual sex and, even though he reassured me he always used protection, I wouldn't feel safe otherwise. After the exam showed he was clean, we had our first time together and it was great. Way better than I could ever imagine. After that, he noticed I liked it and asked if sex was in the equation of our relationship now. I said yes.

This was a few months ago and since then we've been having sex pretty regularly, but we also started to spend more time together outside of that, and I think my feelings of friendship for Jason are starting to change. Not only that, but I started to feel jealous of his casual relationships, especially his affair with this "Anna" girl (20sF) who he's been seeing regularly for the past months. I'm scared he starts to fall in love with her, because he always speaks highly of her and he seems to like her.

So I kinda started to sabotage his dates with her and other girls, in a way? I pretend to have headaches, to feel sick or sad or any other excuse so he has to stay with me instead of go see them. I know it's childish and maybe I should just talk to him about it, but I'm so scared he doesn't feel the same and things get weird between us. It's not like we can escape each other.

AITA?

:thunk:

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

mystes posted:

She needs to actually tell him that she wants him to be monogamous now and they need to divorce before they have kids if he doesn't want to be monogamous.


asexual arranged marriages are a whole angle of poly drama I hadn't imagined

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

My |27M] girlfriend |27F] won't stop swapping out my real groceries with small versions of branded items

quote:

It's basically what the title says - but the weird part is she won't ever admit that it's her? She just sort of looks at me and pretends to be confused when I confront her?

Basically, every few weeks I come home and some of my groceries are missing and replaced my miniature plastic versions of themselves. Come home from work and looking forwards to a coca cola? Oh great, my coca cola is gone and there's a miniature plastic version. Break something small and need to tape it back together? Oh good, miniature duct-tape. Make eggs and want some tabasco? Oh great, miniature tabasco. You get the point - kind of funny, but pretty annoying too.

So far all fair play, clearly my girlfriend thinks its some sort of funny prank or practical joke, but the thing thats weirding me out is that she never acknowledges that its her? Even when I start to get genuinely upset, or frustrated she insists that its "so strange" that "random objects are shrinking in our home"?

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA for jerkin' it to Goya's Black Paintings?

quote:

I know someone's gonna yell bait about this but idc, like, what? Do you want proof? Video evidence? Grow up.

So I (30x) really like Goya's Black Paintings. Like, Saturn Devouring His Son, Duel with Cudgels, A Pilgrimage to San Isidro. I think they're hypnotic, beautiful, evocative. They make me feel emotions I can't quite explain properly.

As the title says, sometimes I beat my meat to them. Whatever. It's not really about horniness. But the intent doesn't matter.

Recently (in a discussion about sexuality in art, I promise it was relevant, similar sentiments were being shared) I mentioned to my partner (33nb) that I do this. They were pretty taken aback.

Apparently, they find this 'gross' and 'kind of dodgy' because Goya's black paintings were never intended to be shared with a wider audience. They were art that he did not mean to share, painted on the walls of his house near the end of his life. They say it seems like the work is too personal to jerk off to, that it seems invasive or like a violation.

I don't think it's a big deal. The guy is dead, it's not like his ghost knows what I'm doing. It's a good thing to consider, but I don't think it ultimately matters, ethically.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

yes

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

trickybiscuits posted:

My husband is in love with his student. I have no loving idea what to do.

"She's the Meredith to his Derek"

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

I think chicken-craving wife and busy husband are encountering the chasm of meaning between "ask culture" and "guess culture." Therapy might help them bridge the gap.

Or both could continue to sulk, that'll definitely fix things.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA for throwing out expired food my brother was hoarding?

quote:

I (22F) was looking in my brother’s room (with permission from him) for his (22M) spare computer mouse since mine broke. While I was rooting around his desk, I found a whole bunch of snack foods except they were all expired, like 2018 and older (two of them were from 2015 e__e) expiration dates.

Gross, right? I thought so. I took them all and put them into a bag and threw them away because who knows what kind of gross mold and bacteria is growing on these snacks.

Apparently he was still eating them, because when he got home he threw a hissy fit because I tossed his snacks. I explained to him that they were all expired and he’s going to get sick if he eats them but he said that since they’re in sealed packages the expiration date is just a ploy by the government to get people to throw away good food and buy new ones. I told him “why risk it” and he got snappy with me. I offered to buy him a new box of granola bars and some fruit snacks to make up for it but he was pissed because apparently one of the brands is discontinued and he was “saving it for a special occasion”. He said I had no right to throw his “things” away, but I feel that goes true for keepsakes and personal items not… perishable food. Like that’s a health hazard.

The snacks were mostly granola bars and fruit snacks, ocasionally some sort of cake snack. He had them all crammed into a drawer, about 30 of them if I had to guess. I checked each one to make sure it was expired before disposing of it.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

that's so loving tacky lol

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

quote:

Family Guy


oh. ESH.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

You're either in Aldi teritory or Trader Joe's territory, thanks to a sibling rivalry/feud that uses grocery stores as proxies

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA for threatening to become a girl's step dad to troll her into blocking me and stop dragging me in a group chat ?

mystes posted:

Jenny (23F) blew up because I (24NB) said she'd be a lovely social worker bc of her specific autism symptoms + class bg. My gf (45F) said it was warranted because of how overwhelmed i got by the wall of text with triggering details of my abuse. I never told my GF that the fight started because Jenny called me a gold digger. I also never mentioned that I ended it an hour later by posting pics of Jenny's mom in the chat, ignoring her ranting and discussing the vacancy left by her dead dad*, and how i could fill said vacancy. 😬😬😬 Might of gone too far with this one.

Backstory: I lived with Jenny when I was houseless indefinitely. She only let me stay for two weeks because it would be too "distracting" to her studies. Jenny was incredibly rich, didn't work, and her parents paid her rent for a 2 bedroom. She admitted she got rejected from every grad school she applied to except for the one her mom was in charge of. Her mom bought her a condo in the city the school was in. She kept asking me how she should decorate it, completely ignorant to how uncomfortable this made me and my other friends.

Jenny was oblivious constantly to how she made others feel. She was actually the most incompetent person I've ever met in terms of comforting other, always tone deaf and completely absorbed with her own, single traumatic event. She made constant jokes about the abuser I was fleeing and even compared this stalked to a /serial killer/ documentary she watched, but never EVER showed any signs of internalizing how I almost lost my life to another person, how that might affect me or even just bum me out. Seriously, I've never met someone else who was so incapable of even being sensitive to issues that were /EXTREMELY SERIOUS/. Forget comforting, the stuff she routinely said to me and my other friends to try to cheer us up was beyond degrading. It was wearing on me a lot.

Jenny herself was neurodivergent. She often said her autism prevented her from understanding the feelings others had, reading their expressions, and tolerating crying or loud noise-- she forbid her musician roommate from doing both. None of those mean shes a worthless person, but all of those things would make someone a horrible therapist or social worker. Oh my God, literally every time I talked about my recent trauma, she would talk about herself and then blame her autism when I told her it just wasn't helping.

The final piece of this was I had a nervous breakdown and screamed at her over discord that she was a poo poo friend and needed to give up on social work, for like an hour. NOT MY PROUDEST, but I ALMOST DIED. I was living with her because SOMEONE WAS STALKING ME. and I would have liked to not have my abuse JOKED about.
HOW DID JENNY RESPOND!?

She began dragging me, through the mud, in the group chat, for, dating, an, older, woman, who, paid, for, my, air bnb, because, !!!she!!! wouldn't let me live with her for more than a week. I was HOMELESS. It became all about "OP you are such a b*tch, you are with a woman twice your age and she pays for everything now but you are still a miserable and angry person. You are so blah blah blah you are an ableist, you said I can't become a social worker bc of autism blah blah blah you have major major issues, Go back your rich granny and leech off of her you useless, hosed up little gold digger."

U_U Then, she started graphically describing how I deserved my abuse, so I shrimply began to troll. And yes, I pulled out my magnum oppus like loving playing blue eyes white dragon, oh yeah I slipped her a pristine Jenny's mom facebook photo and said "Hey you never said your mom was so cute. Maybe, I could leech off her next and become your new dad." Yes, her dad died.*
She blocked me immediately. Its OK. It was knives out for Jenny as soon as my GF gifted me a pair of $700 Isabel Marant shoes** , the most EXPENSIVE thing ive ever owned in my whole life, and Jenny saw me excited and called her mom to buy her a pair. It's, absolutely OK, if I am the rear end in a top hat. I wear my crown of thorns, judas that I am, but I really, really think Jenny was being cruel.

*he died 18 years ago

** the shoes are no more because i fell into my gf's rich friend's koi pond

sometimes i read an AITA and i feel a lot better about myself

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for threatening to become a girl's step dad to troll her into blocking me and stop dragging me in a group chat ?
a pair of $700 Isabel Marant shoes



Isabel Marant shoes, for reference:

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ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

idiotsavant posted:

Forget it Jake. It’s Tumblrtown

it's too soon to call out my bit :argh:


AITA for using my coping strategy even though it inconveniences my Roomates?

quote:

I (22 M) and my 4 roomates (21-24 F) all share an apartment with 1 kitchen, 5 rooms and 2 bathrooms. We tend to get along but we argue over the bathrooms more than we’d like

They tend to take a long time to get ready in the mornings, and I tend to take a long time at night because of my coping mechanism.

Basically once or twice a week, I take a few edibles, turn off all the lights, and shower while on the floor in complete darkness, rolling around in soap. I call this my Olm time after the blind cave salamander. I basically roll around in all the soap and just pretend I’m a little cave dwelling salamander while high as poo poo, and then rinse off and crawl out of the shower and head to my room.

It’s like meditation. I go to a completely different state mentally. This is the only thing that has significantly helped me with stress, while allowing me to incorporate all of my self care duties into my routine. Becoming one with the Olm is my only option.

My roomates don’t know about Olm time but they have realized I take a while in the shower some nights, and they have tried to argue by saying that everyone needs to get ready for bed too. I’ve told them that they take a really long time in the mornings, and I often have to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink because the bathrooms are basically locked from around 6:30-8:45 every day because of how long they take.

Basically they’re all pretty frustrated with me and I’m pretty frustrated with them. That self care time is pretty much what keeps me going through really hard days, and they don’t seem to get that, even when they tell me how important their getting ready time is for them in the mornings. I don’t know if I’m being an rear end in a top hat or if I’m genuinely standing up for myself here. AITA?

ChickenOfTomorrow fucked around with this message at 01:10 on May 12, 2024

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Ghost Leviathan posted:

The UK is effectively a third world country at this point.

we were always a poorly-developed country, just sometimes we hid it by stealing poo poo from other places

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Bass Vag

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

jokes posted:

also they need to watch the wire. you can probably skip season 2

Ignore this poster, watch season 2.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Am I misreading or does husbands' version make zero mention of divorce? That's a weird thing to leave out.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

i'm on the big gay horse's side

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ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

deported to Canada posted:

I can't believe the people in this thread suggesting that Katy Perry's 'California Gurls' is not an accurate description of the state of California.

it's undeniable

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