Scathach posted:

Wtf is it about weddings that drive people insane? I don't get it. Who cares if your friend has mondo titties, roll with that poo poo.

Absolutely voting for a gold catsuit for the wedding.

AceClown posted:

quote:

I will try and make this one short, so it doesn't get removed this time.

I've been thinking about ending my 7 year relationship for the past year or so. I've been trying to stick through it and get over the problems I have with the relationship, but to no avail.

Some of the problems I've/we've been having is the lack of intimacy, uneven distribution of bills and chores, and I'm not sure if she gas lights and weaponizes incompetence (not too familiar with these terms.)

The sex (I know I am not owed her body and she has every right to say no) started out almost every time we saw each other, maybe once every 2 months. Not to mention head is almost non-existent where as she used to offer and now tells me to go to a massage parlor (never been.) It has also gotten stale. It seems like I'm doing all the work and she just lays there now. I've tried bringing up things to spice the bedroom up, but it gets dismissed and never acted upon. I think what bugs me the most about our sex life is that it is okay for her to say no (mostly because she likes to kiss me and be in my face while im asleep to wake me up even though i have to get up in an hour or 2 for work), but if I do I "don't love her", "don't find her attractive", "cheating."

I am gone from the house at least 12-13 hours everyday for work, while she works from home and only works 8 hours. She does feed the dogs on an almost daily basis, but as far as everything else it is up to me. I've stopped cooking for the most part (she mainly wants to eat highly processed foods and I want to eat healthy, so I accommodated and eat unhealthy and feel like poo poo everyday because of it) and I'm trying to get back into the habit of cleaning the house more (her friend's were living with us and I got tired working 60-70hrs a week to come home and having to clean up after them and do every other chore in the house) because I feel ashamed when she has people come over. I'm the one that will wake up early to do the several loads of laundry, go grocery shopping, do lawn care (including pulling weeds that she said she would take care of), and clean the house.

This leaves me to the financial department. This girl has so many subscriptions and will have anywhere between 2-10 Amazon packages a week. We had agreed to split the bills 50/50 because at the time I wasn't making much more than her and had the only car (I am making payments on.) Here lately it is me paying for all groceries, the water softener system she wanted, couches she wanted, security system, phone bill, on top of my car bill and most times the mortgage. This generally leaves me either negative for the week or just barely enough to scrape by the next week. Which honestly sucks because I have to save money for repairs to my house because of her friend's and her animals (probably looking at close to $20,000 in repairs between flooring, walls, doors, and blinds.) But she has all this money to spend on herself. Now, we split electric and water bills constantly. So, she pays about $145 (water bill being about 45 a person and electricity on the high side of $100 per person) a month while I'm paying close to $2k+ a month (not including the vehicles).

As far as gas lighting and weaponized incompetence I'm not sure where to start mainly because I'm not 100% sure on if what happens is what it is. For instance I was letting her know she was scraping the bottom of the teflon pot with the fork and she would say I'm hearing/imagining things. While she would be the one wearing headphones, which are normally at full volume. Stuff like that, which she does almost daily. She will say something I will repeat back and she will say that I'm hearing things or don't remember correctly, this I think is gaslighting? As for the incompetence, it pretty much stems from doing stuff around the house. Like I've shown her how to change the batteries on the door lock, remove and charge the front doorbell camera, or for the latest one.. removing tape from a string of lights (painters tape). I will show her how or offer to show her and she will either say she doesn't know how to do it the next time it needs to get done or will refuse me showing her how to do something.

I've been giving it time because in the almost 4 years we've been living together we have had several arguments about the stuff above, picking up after herself, and just showering and brushing her teeth more than once a week or less. Things have improved a little on some of it, but not all. For a while I had gotten better at communicating (which is why we had so many arguments), but I stopped expressing what bothers me when she would promise to work more on these things, but would take 2 steps forward and one step back and got tired of feeling like I just constantly complain end being a broken record. I have also been debating with myself and trying to justify staying this past year because I know I have a few resentments that I have been trying to let go. Stuff like giving an ultimatum about either marrying her (less than a year into the relationship) or breaking up, telling me I can't talk to my friends and family about our relationship and can only talk to her family, and then accusing me of being gay and cheating when I talked to someone she considered family. In this year I have been slowly realizing she isn't the person she made herself out to be or continues to tell other people. She is lazy and just like her father. She will do the bare minimum and (what seems) expects me to pick up the rest. There's a lot more stuff I could get into, but some of it I can spend some time and calm down and get over it. I just don't know if this relationship is worth it anymore. I know if I end up splitting from her she will accuse me of wasting her "good years" when I was just trying to make this relationship work. I still love her, but it feels more like a friend and this point because it just feels like we are roommates at this current time. Should I try and fight for and make this relationship work or should I just cut my losses and find someone more compatible and willing to help with everyday stuff rather than pushing it onto me?

TLDR: Thinking of breaking up with a 7 yr relationship with my gf because of a dead bedroom, uneven distribution of bills and chores, gaslighting/weaponized incompetence, and some resentment on my end. Is it worth saving or should I cut ties and find someone more compatible when I am almost 30.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

I got in trouble because I was talking to a coworker and saying I can't believe insurance pays for chiropractor visits it's a dangerous scam, and turns out she used to work as a chiropractic nurse and was offended and complained.

Shanghaied posted:

AITA, for renaming my niece and nephew?

My sister just found out last week that I changed their names and is going crazy to family and online.

The children's names were Jezebel and Cujo

ExcessBLarg! posted:

ESH but there's a thing here I didn't quite appreciate until I had my own kids:

Yes, you teach kids to respect property and to not throw things out of fits of frustration. However, young kids don't have developed impulse control and they often can't stop themselves from acting out in frustration. Like, yes, the entire point here is to teach them so they learn to get better about it, but you have to expect and anticipate incidents.

This is why you don't hand your invaluable vintage consoles to a child. Or if you do, you need to do it under the conditions that they're going to have an enjoyable un-frustrating experience, meaning you don't kick their rear end in Mario Kart. Give them the win, help make a memory they will cherish.

Ominous Jazz posted:

that's why cats (including lions) will let kittens win in play fights. it builds confidence and enjoyment in a hobby (like video games and chasing gazelle)

Shanghaied posted:

Just start every sentence with "As the proud husband of a bi woman, I-".

mystes posted:

I mean the two possibilities are that or that she didn't really intend to break up and assumed that he would be like "I'll completely change myself for you" and beg, and she would agree to stay together. I actually don't know which is worse.

Blue Moonlight posted:

PHUO: any snack sold by the establishment is fair game to consume during the performance. If the theatre thinks a bag of Sun Chips are a great accompaniment to The Barber of Seville, who am I to argue?

Midnight Voyager posted:

I wonder how this is going-

She has a rich ex who was happy to not make her spend money re: their kid and now she's binned that situation. Jealousy and hate for her own kid seethe out of her every word. What a weirdo.

quote:

Throwaway because I have friends on reddit. The title basically sums it up pretty well, my husband is always in the freaking bathroom, for HOURS sometimes.

He says it’s not because he’s scrolling on his phone but I have trouble believing him. I asked him to go without and he refuses. He says his bowels move really slowly 🙄 when he’s in there, he’s in his own world. Once I fell and broke my wrist and I called for him for almost 40 minutes to come help me to no avail.

We’ve recently had a baby, he starts crying ALWAYS whenever he goes to the toilet. It always falls on me. If I am breastfeeding and he’s in the bathroom when a delivery arrives I have to stop to open the door, he can’t because he’d “lose concentration when he’s in the zone”. His exact words.

I know this feels ridiculous and fake but I swear it isn’t. I have talked to him but he just doesn’t see it, says it’s his biological need and can’t do anything about it. I just can’t stand it anymore. Have I mentioned we only have ONE BATHROOM?? I’ve had to do my business on the sink more times than I’d like to admit. I get so mad I want to call it quits, I swear.

What can I do to make him understand?

Tl, dr: My husband spends too much time on the bathroom, he cannot be disturbed and everything falls on me. Refuses to do anything about it

EDIT: When I wrote the post I was outraged after a discussion so I think I left out a few important things. When the wrist thing happened he felt really awful, he did not say chill woman!

And he’s done this since he was a kid, his dad used to do it before him too (confirmed by MIL) so I highly doubt it’s porn addiction, drugs or cheating, which is why I don’t know how to handle this. He says he doesn’t know any better. If I make him leave the toilet, he has to go back in a few minutes because he wasn’t done. The phone has only made it worse because it provides entertainment and he takes even longer.

I’ve asked to go to the doctor, therapy… I don’t want to leave over a silly thing like a bathroom but I’m honestly at a loss here

quote:

You’re absolutely correct. Sitting on the toilet for long periods of time, and straining will definitely get you hemorrhoids

quote:

He already has those 😓😓

Kitfox88 posted:

It might not be a documentary but there's gotta be a rob zombie movie where this happens, yeah?

Pope Hilarius II posted:

Admire his defecation, surely

Halloween Jack posted:

AITAH for not wanting to breakup my engagement with my fiance that happens to be my stepsister.


It's pointless to debate if these are real, but I gotta think: Wouldn't you start off by saying that you and your fiancee were dating for 2 years before your parents met and started dating?

DreamingofRoses posted:

AITA for not listening to and kicking my husband out after he said “I love you” for the first time

And the update

Update: Kicked my husband out after his ex sent me an intimate video of them