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My dad passed 2 years ago at 94, and it was rough as hell. We think he scraped his ankle on his metal bedframe and didn't tell anyone about it until his leg got swollen and infected. He was too stubborn to ask for help until he couldn't get his shoe on, and Urgent Care sent him to the hospital immediately. From there the infection aggravated into delirium, and I got to watch my dad struggle and fight against the nurse "crooks trying to steal his money." He asked me to "hack into their computers" like I knew anything about that stuff. He had neuropathy and vertigo, and he couldn't tell if he was standing or laying down. My mom had to nudge the bottom of his bed so he'd feel it. The infection ran it's course and the hospital kicked my dad out. We tried a few nursing homes in the area, but they either left him in a dark room in bed all day, or put him in the common room with full-on dementia patients yelling at the TV. Samaritan was a god-send in helping us set my dad up in hospice care, and they brought in a bed and lots of supplies all free. They said there was nothing left to do but to keep him hydrated and give him medicine every 3 hours. My mom asked my dad if there was anything she could get him. He said he could really go for a hotdog. He passed away at 3am when my mom went to give him his medicine and he didn't wake up. My dad was a fighter, and he had one of his hands tight around the bed rail to the very end. Watching my dad turn into a frail, helpless skeleton was a real tragic experience for me, and I hope y'all don't have to go there same thing. It's just me and my 77 year old mom now, and dealing with her is a whole 'nother can of worms set on fire. My sister and I are trying to get her into a home and she's making it so much more difficult than it has to be.
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Apr 29, 2024 18:26
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 05:04 |
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Baddog posted:mmm, I mean she did see what happened with your dad. The surviving spouse has it pretty rough. To clarify, my sis and I aren't trying to put her into one of those homes. We found a nice group home that does both short, and long-term care, where everyone has their own room. She's afraid of being dumped and forgotten, and we're trying to tell her she needs to be around more people in a place that can take better care of her. She's not entirely wrong though, because I resent being her constant butler and chauffeur, and I'm not going to put up with it for the rest of her life.
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Apr 29, 2024 19:58
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I'm not a legal expert, but the elder care lawyer my sister and I talked to explained how they can protect my Mom's savings by establishing an irrevocable trust that Medicaid can't touch. We hide (in a legal way for the state of NJ) that money away, pay the first year or so at the rest home, and then Medicaid pays after that. That's the gist from how I understood it, anyways. Your state may vary.
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May 4, 2024 23:56
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