Can you fight?

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redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

If push comes to shove and the poo poo is on the line, can you fight?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 06:21

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 04:23

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

tractor man posted:

can YOU fight?

Hell yeah bro

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 06:24

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Worf posted:

yea but it wouldnt be worth going back to jail for so im probably retired

Give an overview of your style. Right for the eyes?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 06:39

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Sex Farm posted:

fight what

Good question. What do you feel comfortable fighting? An ape?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 06:53

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

I need some real hard pipe hittin fellows.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 07:09

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

I always wondered where you had to register hands, is there something like a DMV

They told me when I got my black belt........

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 07:13

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Here's my hermit secrets to fighting:

1: Avoid fighting at all costs, walk away. Your pride is not worth anything if that's what you think you are fighting for

2: If somehow 1 does not work - and you really should try your best - go for the throat. A little jab to the Adam's Apple and it's over, you see? It's not fun and games down here.....

3: Booby Traps

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 07:26

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

syntaxfunction posted:

I would 100% anticipate their attack, get it wrong, and wake up a day later.

I also imagine if people broke into my house with guns it'd be like the start of John Wick. Except where ti would diverge is they'd just shoot me and I'd loving die.

I'm tired enough that if someone told me they were gonna kick the poo poo out of me I'd ask if I could sit somewhere comfy first. I'd rather black out on a comfy couch than hit the ground after all.

If I had a dollar for every fight I've won then that would explain the people kicking the poo poo out of me for the money I owed them.

Hey man, you can be that guy who gets shot up early, eating bullets for the Protagonist....

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 08:00

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

*interview questions

Have you ever been in a Rumble?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 15:34

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Literally A Person posted:

Violence? Again, OP? I'm not mad but I am very disappointed.

Just taking a survey. Good to know what you're working with, you know?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 16:34

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

"Pack it up Pack it in"

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 17:30

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

isaboo posted:

Ah yes, that's a 9th degree black belt Kenpo technique

lol. What other Black Belts do you have?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 17:42

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

isaboo posted:

I have a black belt in BJJ. The other arts I enjoy and teach don't have belts, but have titles for instructors. I'm an Ajarn in muay Thai, Lakan Guro in Kali, and Pembantu Guru in Silat.

Dang, impressive. You've got a leadership role in the rumble if you want it.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 17:55

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Anyone can fight. But can you love?

Only myself, not another.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 18:06

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

isaboo posted:

I've got experience in other poo poo as well - wing chun, Savate (french kickboxing), Lethwei (think muay Thai but with headbutts). My favorites by far are muay Thai, Silat, and Kali.
My wife is Thai and her dad was in the Thai army and taught me a bunch of the more traditional Thai arts, too. Fandab, Ler Drit, Krabi Krabong, and Muay Boran. Muay Thai is essentially distilled Muay Boran for ring fighting.

I've done a little Aikido but it sucks and so does Steven Seagal. I haven't done any Kung Fu or much Japanese or Okinawan Karate though. Or much Judo. If I had to start all over, I'd probably make Judo my first art.

Wrestling actually seems like the true killer fighting form. All other forms of fighting fail when they meet a tough wrestler.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 18:07

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Nigmaetcetera posted:

I absolutely cannot fight in my dreams. My fists brush harmlessly against my foes� chins, and every time I�m carrying a gun either the safety gets stuck or it misfires or it explodes in my hand.

I am the 100% opposite. All I do is fight in dreams, and I fight everyone and everything and always somehow come out on top at the bloody end.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 18:40

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

naem posted:

I dreamt that the red haired lady from the show True Blood (which I�ve never watched) told me she wanted to drink my blood, she was very insistent

I was riding a bike and was fast enough to get away from her but also had a dream girlfriend on the bike with me, and I was torn because while I didn�t want to die my dream girlfriend wasn�t anywhere near as attractive as the red haired lady

and then we went down a steep hill and I thought �how are we going to pedal fast enough to avoid the vampires if we have to go back up this steep hill� and then I couldn�t pedal at all, because of the chemical your body produces to paralyze you while asleep, and I had sleep paralysis until I woke having kicked all the covers off my bed

so yeah, I can prob fight p good

So You're A Vampire......

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 18:48

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

isaboo posted:

Lol. Making sound effects when you're training is one of the best parts of learning martial arts.

My Master (The best Master, shout out to Grandmaster Kim!) strongly taught us to make as little noise as possible, except for effect.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 19:32

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

isaboo posted:

What style were you learning?

The best sound effects martial arts guy I ever knew was an Aikido master named Carmen. When he was instructing, every action was accompanied with a "SWOOSH" or "B-KOW!" type of noise, much like the old Batman tv show. Here's a dumb story I posted in another subforum about Carmen and my experience learning DIM MAK - the Death Touch.

-----

I did learn the famous Death Touch. Sort of.

This story is lame unless you're a total martial arts nerd, and it still is even then. But it was funny to 21 year old me at the time.

I was dabbling in Aikido, and went to a seminar held by Carmen, a senior Aikido instructor. At the end of the first day's session, someone jokingly brought up Dim Mak - the Death Touch.

The aikido master suddenly stopped and stared at us all, and told us to sit in a circle.

"The death touch is very real," he said. "I will teach you the first level."

We were loving stoked. We had no idea what he was about to do, but just the thought of learning something, anything, obscure and secret was like crack to us.

He led us in a breathing exercise that lasted, hmm, probably 20 minutes or so. He'd occasionally say something like "feel all the chi energy flow through you" blah blah blah.

"Place your right thumb on the mat. Imagine all that energy flowing through you, to that one point. Breathe.... flow.... breathe.... flow"

The air was electric. It was like being in an evangelical church. We were all breathing in unison, all in the same state, ready to loving KILL WITH ONE TOUCH.

"Press the mat with your thumb.... flow... breathe...."

"There. You can now kill an ant."

Our first reaction was a large collective exhale, followed by everyone bursting into laughter.

He built us up, and completely pulled the mat out from under us, so to speak.

I got to know him a little after that, and he's how I got to work with Steven Seagal and later, Wesley Snipes.

Carmen was working with the choreographer of Seagal's Under Siege film, and wanted to try a few things out. I'm about 1/2" taller than Steven, and they needed someone about the same size to spar with so I was a good match. I don't think anything we came up with ended up in the film, but it was a fun experience.

Steven didn't like me from the start, because, and I say this in all seriousness, I'm everything he wishes he was (except wealthy and famous). I mean personally - not professionally or martial arts-wise. That and I called him out for putting his hands on someone he shouldn't have. Years later, I saw him at a seminar and I told him that his Aikido was just fake Silat. That really pissed him off, lol.

Anyway that's my Steven Seagal and Death Touch story.

lol cool story, as is to be expected.

I learned Tae Kwan Do. The school is Jae H Kim right next to Fenway Park in Boston. I deeply respect the man.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 20:15

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Carlos Lantana posted:

every fight I had as an adult took place in a hospital
they were very unfair because youre not allowed to fight in the hospital

Hospital fights are some of the saddest. Cuz you know they are all fueled by sadness and loss.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 23:37

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

MrQwerty posted:

I got in a fistfight a couple weeks ago, my black eye is almost gone. Dude punched me in the temple with a ring and had to endure the rest of the fight looking at it while I didn't react to it, because my only fight skill is taking hits. He landed another good haymaker on my cheek but I busted his lip on his tooth while spraining my finger, then horse collared him and half-stripped his shirt and jacket off of him before it got broken up.

The last time I got in a fistfight was 17 years ago, and I took exactly the same lesson this time as last: nobody wins.

Why the fight?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 23:44

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

MrQwerty posted:

Someone needed to be told they were being disrespectful to my household and myself, and the way I went about it was TELLING THEM WHAT THE gently caress I THINK ABOUT YOU

So your fault? You instigated the fight?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 23:52

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

MrQwerty posted:

It was not a proud or positive moment in anyone's life

Well, let's try and take some positives from it. How would you rate your own fight performance? Where can you improve?

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 00:04

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

The Bible posted:

You'd definitely beat my rear end but it would be a fun rumble.

What's your background?

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 01:58

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Vile_Nihlist666 posted:

I mean, I'm out of shape and fat... but....

I have been in MANY fights in my life time
I play for keeps
I am trained in Army combatives, some fundamentals of Judo and knife fighting, and a little MMA.
I can take a good punch. Have many times.

So.... probably?

Have you faced THE poo poo?

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:02

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Vile_Nihlist666 posted:

Depends. Had my life threatened? Twice. Defend myself in my own home in a fist fight, at least once. Win every fight I've been in? Not a fuckin' chance. I know this is a shitpost thread, but real talk, what would you define as THE poo poo?

To the death. A fight you must fight.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:07

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Three Olives posted:

I quietly plot, I just got a note from my neighbor beseeching me to reach out to him before emailing his tenants employer about their illegally parked company car again. What he doesn't know is I already got an email from a VP at his home lender saying yes, they very much would like to know that their client took out an owner occupied home loan and immediately rented the house out because I pulled his house note from the county recorder.

3O have you been in a fight ever?

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:09

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Vile_Nihlist666 posted:

I've been fortunate (or unfortunate?) that both times my life was threatened were with handguns, not in a fight for my life. But I WOULD fight that fight, to be certain.

I didn't count the time the cops drew on me after asking for my ID when I was 17, so I guess that's three times I've had guns pointed at me.

For one glorious moment I fought every cop the City of Boston could throw at me.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:14

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Vile_Nihlist666 posted:

Didn't know GTA had a Boston entry.

I tossed the EMTs aside easily of course, and then waves of cops melting off me like an ice breaker in the North Sea....

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:20

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Vampire Panties posted:

Yeah I remember when the Sox won the Series

I've had a knife pulled on me, and had several shoving matches, but no genuine fights with strangers. I used to get drunk and wrestle my friends to the ground when I was in my early/mid twenties, but they eventually gave up fighting back because they never won

Which year? 2004?

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:21

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Vampire Panties posted:

Yeah 2004. I was living in San Diego it and was like Southie spilled on the streets

Nice. I was living right next to Fenway. The World Series was a strange Coda to the actual spiritual victory, which was coming back against the Yankees down 3-0.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:27

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

ATTN: REAL ADVICE

The first move I will always make in any sort of confrontation or fight is a block. I will block their flailing hook, their angry charge, their raised gun.

The block is the best offense in a fight. If it works, your opponent is now wide open to any kind of counter punch you'd like.

For example: Bar Bro charges with a right hook.

Blocked with a left upper forearm block. Leaving that bro fully open for a counterstrike of whatever I choose. Like a quick jab to the chin or nose.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:32

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Having shot enough in target practice, I know that shooting a target is pretty hard. And doing so while amped up emotionally?

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 02:45

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Here's a real fight story:

Just a few weeks after I got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do I was walking up to my apartment door and my SPIDEY SENSE!!!!!! went off and I turned around and there was this tall skinny white man running right at me with a sledgehammer poised above his shoulder, screaming "Im gonna kill you!!!!"

I was first internally pissed - this is no loving way to mug people!! - and then I lept at him while executing an X block and screaming at a high pitch. I blunted his swing and then took the sledgehammer away from him in one move. I then proceeded to kick his rear end but he got lucky and bounced off and away and ran into his waiting get away car, who drove off. I ran off after them but it was amazing, my eyesight had shrunk to a pinpoint. I could make out zero detail of the car or license plate.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 03:00

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Vile_Nihlist666 posted:

That may be true to a point, though I would say that drugs/drink are not required for the correct fighting mindset. What is required are two things: Acceptance that you will be taking damage as a routine matter of course, and the acceptance that you're not stopping until the other person isn't resisting, period. And when I say those things, I don't mean like, you're consciously thinking about it. I mean, it is a definite and absolute certainty in that moment that both things are true.

The lack of empathy comes in when people go further even than that, inflicting further punishment on an opponent who can't fight back. That's the scary poo poo, and that's the reason one should avoid physical conflict if they can, because many people don't have that sort of impulse control.

I wouldn't put much stock in people's "innate empathy."

There are good honest to innocent civilians out there....

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 03:11

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

isaboo posted:

Most of the many, many encounters I've had have not ended up on the ground. I think fights between unskilled fighters do, though. Or in an asymmetric fight where some poor sap is getting clowned on by someone who is skilled.

Also, realize that martial arts is a set of perishable skills. If you don't keep it up, you'll get sloppy.

Which is reason 1049 that Batman is so unrealistic (even while of course being the most realistic super hero):He would have to keep training, all the time. Many hours a day...

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 03:17

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Smugworth posted:

MrQwerty vs Redshirt

My money is on Qwerty personally

I'll take some of that action

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 03:28

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

isaboo posted:

Just make sure that whatever action you take actually manipulates their body in some way.

In your example, simply throwing up a block doesn't really change their attack pattern unless you, for example, cause their right arm to to fly backwards, moving that side of their body away from you.

But then you need to be wary of that action causing the left side of their body (e.g. their left hand) to come at you. It can be from just sheer momentum.

I remember something that blew my loving mind when I was about 15 and learning Kenpo. I blocked a right straight punch, on the outside of their arm with my left forearm, and he just simply folded his arm at his elbow. The momentum carried him forward, and I ate the elbow.

The problem was that I blocked his arm slightly below his elbow, on his forearm. Gotta make sure you block above or on the elbow.

Lol, then later in life I got into cimande for a while, which is all about smashing the gently caress out of whatever comes at you with your conditioned forearms and fists. Then it didn't matter how or where you blocked.

Good advice

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 05:08

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Hey, let's bring it in.

We are gathered here, us fighters. But we will not fight each other, of course. We are brothers and sisters.

But when challenged in the night we will step up.

We will say "That's not right".

We will fight where it makes no sense to fight, but only because it's right.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 05:56

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 04:23

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Spinz posted:

I always wondered and I bet I can't.

Now I may never find out which is OK.

What I did always do was take out my earrings when it looked like a fight was imminent which a couple times made the other lady pause I know....

No way was I gonna get one of those ugly slits like I saw a few ladies have when their earlobes got ripped, yuck

I don't know how you could arrange this, but sparring is a pretty safe way to fight. You get all the padding - head, torso, etc - so you're unlikely to actually get hurt. And you can punch away to your heart's content.

Maybe look for local martial art places, and find one that's not run by some ex-military guy.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 15:12

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