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GF keeps leaving me, I tried everything (even becoming a childhood friend like in all those hentai) Maybe I should give up on her... and install myself as god-king of some primitive tribe a millennium ago, I could have like 10 GFs!
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Apr 25, 2024 08:40
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Babies!! What's going on here? Who made all this mess? *babies gasp in unison* Mama Hirohito! Aye aye aye! Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 12:19 on Apr 26, 2024 |
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Apr 25, 2024 08:41
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Therapy? THERAPY?! I have nothing to fix in myself so long as I can just keep erasing every single choice I ever made in life!
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Apr 25, 2024 08:48
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Okay, in this iteration I completed my doctorate, mended my relationships with my estranged father and my ex-girlfriend, whom I also married and to top it all off I even won the lottery! Now I just need to engage the only semi-predictable and risky time machine to stop myself from buying that brand of car, the color doesn't fit the house.
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Apr 25, 2024 09:02
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Trump was president?
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Apr 25, 2024 09:30
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God drat it, now it's Baranstein Bears.
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Apr 25, 2024 09:34
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maybe I can stop the black death by giving them all covid first
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Apr 25, 2024 10:07
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I have this idea for a show called Time Jerks starring Tracy Morgan and Jimmy O. Yang. In the first episode they get kidnapped by beings from the 4th dimension (all played by Fred Durst) and the big reveal that they're from the 4th dimension is when the Freds turn the red yankees cap frontwards. Anyway, Tracy & Jimmy are forced to be in a TV show for the 4th dimension's entertainment and they're first assignment they get sent back to Holland 1945 and are tasked with throwing out Anne Frank's diary so no one ever reads it and In The Aeroplane Over the Sea never gets made. They feel really bad about it. In the next episode they have to spend 20 years in Aberdeen, Washington making sure Kurt Cobain gets into a really good law school and doesn't waste his time noodling on some dumb guitar.
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Apr 25, 2024 10:12
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ShredsYouSay posted:maybe I can stop the black death by giving them all covid first Who knew that bringing back Chickenpox would trigger an evolution of sloths into the dominant life form? I'll try again with Ebola.
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Apr 25, 2024 10:46
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I wonder what will happen if I go back in time and kill the inventor of time travel.
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Apr 25, 2024 11:03
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Whoa, your name is Grandma? Someone in my family has that same exact name! But hey, what do you say we get out of here and go back to your place?
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Apr 25, 2024 11:08
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I think we should simply catch a butterfly outside and bring it back to the past to replace the one we just killed. So simple
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Apr 25, 2024 11:22
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山廾丹卞'己 呂回工几呂 回几, 山廾丹卞 廾丹尸尸ヨ几ヨ句 卞回 ヨ几呂し工己廾?
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Apr 25, 2024 11:36
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Ok so all we have to do is not explode a baby via mailbox tnt this time...go!!
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Apr 25, 2024 11:42
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Non, aux Etats-Unis, nous les appelons des frites de la liberté!
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Apr 25, 2024 12:20
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By the time I'm done, I'm gonna be everyone's grandfather.
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Apr 25, 2024 12:28
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McSpanky posted:By the time I'm done, I'm gonna be everyone's grandfather. Aunt Marriam? what are you doing on these forums?
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Apr 25, 2024 12:47
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Damnit now my best friend is a goth
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Apr 25, 2024 13:11
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Why does the Rosetta stone suddenly have hyperlinks?
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Apr 25, 2024 13:52
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hosed around in Victorian London and accidentally uninvented English muffins
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Apr 25, 2024 13:53
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i travelled back in time to kill hitler but he turned at the last second and my bullet just shaved off his dumb moustache 
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Apr 25, 2024 13:53
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Hey Alexander Fleming, let me show you a little trick called synthesizing meth.
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Apr 25, 2024 13:57
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Shadow0 posted:I wonder what will happen if I go back in time and kill the inventor of time travel.
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Apr 25, 2024 14:27
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*carves UFO pictures in King Tut's tomb*
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Apr 25, 2024 14:31
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Travelled back in time to tell Tycho Brahe it’s okay to rip a fat piss at the party he was at instead of holding it in, and now everyone’s walking around with these comically oversized droopy mustaches in the present.
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Apr 25, 2024 14:33
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The only way I can fix everything is if I go back in time and choke myself with my own umbilical cord in the womb
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Apr 25, 2024 14:33
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Hey Albert Einstein! We're six hot single babes and we just rented a beach house! We're all blowing off the next week of classes and having a nonstop rager instead! You should come.
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Apr 25, 2024 14:35
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Free beer and hotdogs at the World Trade Center tomorrow. Queue nice and early to avoid the rush!
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Apr 25, 2024 16:06
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Teaching Sumerians to cultivate kudzu instead of wheat
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Apr 25, 2024 16:16
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I travel to the Americas early and give them nuclear weapons and military drones so when Cortez and the other invasive euros show up, they do not get to conquer or land. Edit: obviously this just sounds like a positive change but giving these folks such advanced weapons in such great abundance, there ends up being less Americas than there was before.
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Apr 25, 2024 16:28
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Enh, close enough.
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Apr 25, 2024 16:53
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not sure how I did it but there's two baby hitlers all of a sudden
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Apr 25, 2024 16:55
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inspired by that guy in fyad, if u look carefully u can see my balls hidden in nearly every single famous painting
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Apr 25, 2024 17:23
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Cornwind Evil posted:God drat it, now it's Baranstein Bears.
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Apr 25, 2024 17:24
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sugar free jazz posted:inspired by that guy in fyad, if u look carefully u can see my balls hidden in nearly every single famous painting Keep living the dream.
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Apr 25, 2024 17:33
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Cornwind Evil posted:God drat it, now it's Boranstyn Bears.
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Apr 25, 2024 17:34
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So the screenplay is called Shazam, it's about a genie named Shazam, and we're thinking the hilarious stand-up comic Sinbad for the lead role. Can we set up a meeting?
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Apr 25, 2024 17:38
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Nah, look, Mr. Tarantino, Samuel L. Jackson is all wrong for the part of Jules. You know who you need? Hear me out: Janeane Garofolo is really hot right now...
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Apr 25, 2024 17:46
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we did it I was the only one to make it back to 2024 alive, but we killed Hoetzenberger, sparing the twentieth century the unspeakable horrors of global war
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Apr 25, 2024 17:49
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| # ? May 8, 2024 21:06 |
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So you know how mold grows on bread right? and you've heard about evolution? so that old sandwich you dropped back at the end of the ice age- it's now running for president!
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Apr 25, 2024 17:53
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