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Ambiguatron posted:It actually says holy gently caress in the loving book? That's how you know she means business, it's usually "holy cow" or "jeez"
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Jul 4, 2012 02:35
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Ambiguatron posted:It actually says holy gently caress in the loving book? According to this tumblr it does. This is transcendental writing. I almost feel a little guilty for railing against GRRM - he writes about nothing but at least he doesn't write like he's posting to Facebook.
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Jul 4, 2012 02:36
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"cool vanilla spell" is pretty great, Grey Steele bloodplay not so much, holy gently caress You know things are about to get real when Grey stops the meal to get it on. You got to follow the Grey Philosophy: Stalk, Fatten, gently caress, Murder.
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Jul 4, 2012 02:47
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Serious question: How do I get that job where I read submissions to publishers? I could read trash Sci-Fi and smut all day. Especially in a cozy office where I can drink on the job.
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Jul 4, 2012 02:49
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bigmcgaffney posted:"cool vanilla spell" is pretty great, Grey Steele bloodplay not so much, holy gently caress Wait, wait, wait, this porn book ends with the protagonist being murdered? I think I'm having some sort of transcendental experience. I have seen some poo poo but this is bizarre.
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Jul 4, 2012 02:49
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Ah, I've found my favorite passage. There's no point in reading it now, this will never be topped.quote:Why is anyone the way they are? That’s kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it? Do you like cheese? Bitch stole that from my high school LiveJournal, btw.
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Jul 4, 2012 03:01
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Sophia posted:Ah, I've found my favorite passage. There's no point in reading it now, this will never be topped. What kind of horrible monster hates cheese?
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Jul 4, 2012 03:24
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Ambiguatron posted:Wait, wait, wait, this porn book ends with the protagonist being murdered? I have no idea. Though I wonder what percentage of the readers of this trilogy have read it precisely because it is terrible.
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Jul 4, 2012 03:39
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We need a thing like poe's law that describes the situation where it's impossible to tell if a fandom is being ironic or not.
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Jul 4, 2012 03:41
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Ambiguatron posted:Wait, wait, wait, this porn book ends with the protagonist being murdered? Sadly, there are two sequels and it actually ends with this: E.L. James posted:I like this,” he murmurs, stroking then kissing my belly. “There’s more of you.”
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Jul 4, 2012 03:45
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This is the funniest goddamn poo poo this thread has ever introduced me to. You guys introduced me to all sorts of stuff: Communtiy, Breaking Bad, Joe Abercrombie, My Little Pony, Brandon Sanderson, Spartacus: Blood in Sand, Metro 2033, Mad Men, The Wire etc. There is nothing, NOT a single loving thing that compares to this. Thank you, Bad Thread. I will cherish your wisdom and your horribleness forever.
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Jul 4, 2012 03:50
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You guys are way tougher than me. The dumbest poo poo I ever read was Terry Goodkind and I read that poo poo when I was like 17. If I tried to read that all now I would probably not make it past the hundred pages of magical BSDM torture from the dominatrix/sex slaves with the pain dildos.
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Jul 4, 2012 03:56
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Waffle Ho posted:Sadly, there are two sequels and it actually ends with this: You forgot the part where he whips her pregnant belly and she insinuates that the unborn fetus already enjoys sex. This is the gift that keeps on giving. I echo CC. Thank you, Bad Thread; it was worth all of the musketchat in the world to laugh as hard as I have tonight.
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Jul 4, 2012 03:57
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Waffle Ho posted:Why read it when other people can suffer and then highlight the worst of it for you? gently caress you for your spoilers, dammit  Oh, well, I'm already down this path and all the worst of it has been covered, so I'm just going to continue highlighting sentences which feel ludicrously wrong. whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Jul 4, 2012 |
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Jul 4, 2012 04:05
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Man. The Bad Thread reads a few chapters of bondage-flavored Twilight fanfic and everyone goes all gooey and huggy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BAD THREAD! I love you all. In all the ways a man can love a thread.
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Jul 4, 2012 04:08
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Sophia posted:You forgot the part where he whips her pregnant belly and she insinuates that the unborn fetus already enjoys sex. This is the gift that keeps on giving. I echo CC. Thank you, Bad Thread; it was worth all of the musketchat in the world to laugh as hard as I have tonight. I was going to mention the whipping but felt the breast milk was most Bad Thread appropriate.
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Jul 4, 2012 04:10
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I'm sorry, but that has nothing on Twilight's birth sequence, which is just all sorts of  (especially if you include the imprinting immediately afterwards).Also, from Anastasia's brilliant, hardworking, incredible journalist of a roommate, who 'foisted' an interview with a "mega-industrial tycoon" onto her at the last moment, providing her with no background and incisive questions such as "Are you gay?"*: “You’ve got some good stuff here, Ana. Well done." I can only assume that Washington State University is some sort of Public Education equivalent of Springtime for Hitler. *No, seriously, that's a question she - the editor of the campus newspaper - intended to ask a hugely important donor to the university after months of work securing said interview.
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Jul 4, 2012 04:16
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The classic Russian Newborn, vodka and breast milk with a spash of Frangelico floated on top. For a twist on an old tradition, try the Westerosi Suckling Babe, with rum instead of vodka and poppyseed liqueur replacing its hazelnut counterpart." -The Guide to the Food and Drink of ASOIAF, edited by George R. R. Martin, the American Tolkien
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Jul 4, 2012 04:23
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Milk of the Попий
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Jul 4, 2012 05:33
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So, the first Gor book starts off like any boring 60's scifi novel with a bland flying saucer and then on page five the protagonist meets his long lost father who basically says "Hi, you can gently caress my slave girl after dinner. You have come to a world called Gor." So yeah, it dives right into crazy town.
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Jul 4, 2012 07:05
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Happy Birthday Bad Thread.
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Jul 4, 2012 07:11
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Sophia posted:You forgot the part where he whips her pregnant belly and she insinuates that the unborn fetus already enjoys sex. This is the gift that keeps on giving. I echo CC. Thank you, Bad Thread; it was worth all of the musketchat in the world to laugh as hard as I have tonight. You just know that some nut out there is going to have her boyfriend / husband whip her pregnant belly, killing the baby at 8 months and both will charged with manslaughter. They'll be doing the child a favor as to not having to live with such fucktards as parents.
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Jul 5, 2012 16:31
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Geeves Manderly posted:So young, though mayhaps this was a blessing. Had he lived, he would have grown up to be a Fucktard.
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Jul 5, 2012 17:40
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It took me about two hours to power through the first Gor book. I've read better fanfiction than this. It has absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever. If you take out the weird sexual politics, there's nothing particularly interesting about it and it's a bad ripoff of Edgar Rice Burroughs with a nonsensical plot filled with random happenstance. I can't believe they published a sequel, much less that there's like fifty of these books and people base their entire lifestyle on it. It makes Martin's food fixation and awkward sex scenes seem like high literature by comparison.
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Jul 5, 2012 19:35
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As someone who's stuck not even 40% of the way through 50 Shades of Grey, I salute your ability to deal with utter dreck 
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Jul 5, 2012 19:42
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From the Walking Dead thread.Erslich posted:It'll be interesting to see what happens with Merle and the Governor in season 3. For those who have read the comic book... The governor cuts of Rick's hand, but if they encounter Merle in Woodbury who sees him cutting off Rick's hand instead of the governor? Some sort of "revenge" perhaps? Koskinator posted:I would be surprised if they follow that particular plot point from the comic. Having it happen to such a major character would be very annoying from a production standpoint. And Kirkman himself has said he regrets doing that in the comic and would take it back if he could. lol
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Jul 5, 2012 21:11
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Just do it like a pregnant actress belly and put his hand behind a potted plant or a horse or a counter or something in every scene.
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Jul 5, 2012 21:26
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Sophia posted:Just do it like a pregnant actress belly and put his hand behind a potted plant or a horse or a counter or something in every scene. I knew a girl that lost her left hand and I didn't realize it for 2 months. She wore hoodies and had a big purse she would hide it in. When I did notice, of course, I made a huge rear end of myself.
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Jul 5, 2012 21:37
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Did you say "Holy poo poo, you're hand's gone!" You did, didn't you?
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Jul 5, 2012 21:39
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:I knew a girl that lost her left hand and I didn't realize it for 2 months. Wait she walked around with her hand inside of her purse? That's really weird. I would think she had some kind of animal in there. The latter part does not surprise me. I just hope it wasn't during sex.
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Jul 5, 2012 21:53
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Sophia posted:The latter part does not surprise me. I just hope it wasn't during sex. Urdnot Fire fucked around with this message at 23:39 on Jul 5, 2012 |
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Jul 5, 2012 22:00
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Ambiguatron posted:Did you say "Holy poo poo, you're hand's gone!" Less eloquent. "Whoa, what the gently caress?" And then I got a shameful boner.
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Jul 5, 2012 22:04
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It's only shameful if you feel shame. Take pride. Now that you mention it I'm adding "amputee" to the list.
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Jul 5, 2012 22:09
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Ambiguatron posted:It's only shameful if you feel shame. Take pride. I've always had a soft spot for cripples, bastards and broken things.
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Jul 5, 2012 22:19
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A hard spot, you mean.
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Jul 5, 2012 22:20
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Friend-Thoner...you are now my captith.
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Jul 5, 2012 23:04
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:I've always had a soft spot for cripples, bastards and broken things. Easier to rape?
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Jul 5, 2012 23:07
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Sophia posted:Wait she walked around with her hand inside of her purse? Well, no, that's kind of the point 
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Jul 5, 2012 23:45
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Less weight to carry in a suitcase...
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Jul 5, 2012 23:46
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This is getting more out of hand than the Jaime japes.
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Jul 6, 2012 00:14
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