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Hello, my name is Devious Vacuum, and I am a roboticist. But when I decided I wanted to LP some games, I thought I should focus on what I'm REALLY good at: having a vagina. Let's Play Games for Girls! All of us are aware that "Girl Games" exist online, and that there are a lot of them and they're all pretty lovely, both in terms of messages they send and how well they are implemented. Why are Girl Games so terrible? How many of them are actually out there? WHY DO THESE GAMES EXIST?? These are the hard-hitting questions I would like you to help me answer! In each episode, I'm going to look at a collection of Girl Games, mostly from free-to-play websites, but also some games full of terrible messages that you have to actually pay money for. This is by NO MEANS the full extent of girl games out there! There are so many of them. So many. That's why I need you!! Would you like to play along at home? Everyone is encouraged to go find Girl Games of their own and post evidence of them here! Whether it be video, screenshot, or even just an image of your finished product, any and every contribution is encouraged. How deep does the rabbit hole go? Join me and find out! How serious of a discussion is this, you ask? There are plenty of opportunities to be serious and to be funny when discussing these games. I want to first and foremost make fun of them, but also we should take every opportunity to point out problematic aspects of all of these games and the very serious cultural issues they reflect. That said, please don't come in looking for a fight! THIS IS A FUN THREAD ABOUT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. And remember: EVERYONE IS GIRLS. with AsteriskAsterisk Blog post linked from The Guardian: Games for Girls? with BeamsplashX and Helmetcondenser with OatmealRaisin with Panzer Skank with Siren with Ragny and Psychedelic Eyeball with Kaubocks WARNING: EYE SURGERY with Midnight Voyager with AsteriskAsterisk and HelmetCondenser with Dyslexiactic with Gharbad with EntranceJew with Chuuurls and HelmetCondenser with Sweet and Awful with Voidburger with Charkie with Panzer Skank WARNING: NOSE CLEANING with AsteriskAsterisk with DurpTwoTwo with Fat Larry WARNING: BABY MUTILATION Fat Larry Streams an Anime (VOD) by Senerio by Senerio, With EntranceJew, Heavy Sigh, Miniature Moose and Yapo by Senerio Devious Vacuum fucked around with this message at 20:06 on Apr 18, 2014 |
# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:26 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 03:23 |
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Panzer Skank plays Really lovely iOS Games For GURRLZ: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Peach Style plays: The Scared Groom, Fashion Police dijon du jour: dress up games for boys?! Tropical Spa Day. Nothing unusual here. Girl Gamz MiracleFlare: throws a personal sex party at 123kido! The Horrors of PlayKaty Baby Hazel Goes To Disneyland What did they do to Princess Merida? Date Them All! Boyfriend Trainer (VLP) by Devil Ed Word of the Day is: Date (VLP) by MisterFuzzles! Onean finally figures out what that League of Angels ad is all about. Charkie, Mr Swoon, and Syrg find love and gas lamps in Pretty In Pink. Mr. Swoon and Syrg rejoin Charkie for some more licensed girl games with Mean Girls. It's...not abysmal? Wait, really? Nerdy to Emo Makeover by chocolatekake! Let's Play the Mary-Kate and Ashley Series, Part 1 with DurpTwoTwo, ItsGoggalor, ZenScissors, and DevilEd Let's Play the Mary-Kate and Ashley Series Part 2: Hit-Thingies with DurpTwoTwo, ItsGoggalor, ZenScissors, DevilEd, and Siren, aka Grasslamb Let's Play the Mary-Kate and Ashley Series Finale: Rolling Start (with DevilEd, ItsGoggalor, ZenScissors, Compufreak, and Kai.) Night Gaunt takes a look at Otome Games! Roll Next (With Heavy Sigh, Simply Simon, Loco, and Assoonasitis) Soricidus Makes A Cat Happy! DreamingOfRoses takes us to NeoPets and Hannah's Wardrobe Adventure! ThatPazuzu: (skeletons by DVac) Goes on a double date during Bad Girl (Prom Night?) Goon Run Renegade Run Chooses from the many boyfriends of My Virtual Boyfriend! Dresses up some Celebrity Babies and a Shrek Wedding?! Then Helmetcondenser Dates Joshua the Redditor hyphz shows off Magical Girl Mari's Dressing Up Adventure, a Japanese game with an interesting take on dress up gameplay. 123Peppy.com Arts and Crafts! by chocolatekake Instructions from here: http://crafts.123peppy.com/popeye-soap-carving/55 Killerrhubarb plays Disney City Girl! Part 1 Part2 Part 3 BlueFlowerRedSky created this excellent Twine: Magical Girl Makeover Thanks ElephantGun for capturing the essence of Girl Gaming. GEOP made a sweet gamertag(s) for us Let's Playdies~ Thank you Charkie for taking a screenshot from the renowned Girl Game, Girls of War. Geop snuck into a kissing game! Xenia completes Dongs "REO" Speedwagon's makeover. Captain Fargle explains the bizarre cheerleader mutations in Pom Pom Squad. dijon du jour shows us what Let's Playdies are all about. Jinxie Monroe gets SILKY SMOOTH LEGS. Why's It Gotta be SlenderMAN?! a short story by AltaBrown dijon du jour created this excellent ad. Happy Valentine's Day from Senerio! Girl Games the Hedgehog, by Killrrhubarb Achievement unlocked! Geop reveals me as a Fake Gamer Girl. nu_vagus created this amazing remix of the BEAUTIFUL CAR! song!!! RAVE CAR Coincidence?! I THINK NOT. from StoryTime tlarn avatarized my MLP gif: Friends don't let friends play horse games codl creates an excellent avatar available for you: Delivering girl game news directly to you ahaha holy poo poo Let's Draw Fanart by Dyslexiactic another by tinkerttoy This beautiful monstrosity is by SassyRobot THE REIGN OF THE DISHWASHER BEGINS by chocolatekake Thread Participation!!! Erte Elegance Gyre Devious Vacuum LordGugs The_White_Crane Anistar01 KennyMan666 chocolatekake Fairytale Prince Devious Vacuum Honorific! Tutti Frutti Honorific! Devious Vacuum Regency Dress Up Devious Vacuum SelenicMartian chocolatekake Boyfriend Maker RoeCocoa tlarn Awesomonster The_White_Crane DWK Cerebulon King Vidiot Manga Creator Madness! chocolatekake Devious Vacuum Senerio dijon du jour tlarn Best Friend Skull MiracleFlare The_White_Crane Killrrhubarb DecayDJK DurpTwoTwo ShadowMar steinrokkan azren Jenner Lord_Ventor The Trials of Mary, Campus Crusader for Christ by Gyre Camel Pimp DollDivine Viking Maker azren (portrayal of the Vacuumborn) OmanyteJackson Pokemon Trainer Creator Senerio The_White_Crane DurpTwoTwo Devious Vacuum chocolatekake Killrrhubarb STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS Devious Vacuum SelenicMartian Veloxyll Meowjesty Camel Pimp azren chocolatekake this fish flies Skanker Devil Ed MiracleFlare ZOOM! ENHANCE! The_White_Crane DWK SirArthurIV Then everyone made a bunch of loving mechs: DWK Veloxyll StrixNebulosa Meis The_White_Crane Senerio dreamy Killrrhubarb haplesscardsharp pichupal Heatwizard chocolatekake Jenner The Ladies of Dinogeddon CaptainBob Onean Veloxyll SelenicMartian maswastaken Devious Vacuum fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Apr 19, 2014 |
# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:27 |
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For my first update, have a super special double bonus video! Asterisk and I discuss why Girl Games are worth talking about, and then BeamsplashX and Helmetcondenser join me to have a very silly discussion about pizza. with AsteriskAsterisk Blog post linked from The Guardian: Games for Girls? with BeamsplashX and Helmetcondenser
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:29 |
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It's happening, it's really happening!
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:34 |
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There are a lot of "dress up" games for boys. They still involve girls but are definitely not suitable for children of either gender.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:38 |
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Ground floor on awesome Dee-vac thread! Do you have a list of games you're going to do, or are you going to play/record them as you discover them? And how long until you do a 100% run of Horse DDR?
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:40 |
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HerrSystem posted:Ground floor on awesome Dee-vac thread! Do you have a list of games you're going to do, or are you going to play/record them as you discover them? I have a Master List going forward about 4-5 episodes, but obviously I am open to suggestions as well! And yes, I have an entire episode devoted to boy dress-up games too~. Horse DDR will happen eventually! Everyone plays it blind, so I kind of want to get somewhere in the game before showing it.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:42 |
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While we're here waiting for additional content to be added (oh man I can't wait) may I suggest some extra credit viewing?
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 19:48 |
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Games are supposed to be a break from reality. These just seem like hygiene simulators. Anyway I can't wait for the misogyny!
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 20:15 |
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Devious Vacuum posted:
I haven't cracked up when reading an OP in the LP subforum in a while. I clicked on the first link, thinking I'd check out the video for five minutes or so. When the video ended, I was a little confused where my half hour went. 5'ed and eagerly watching to see just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 20:17 |
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Edit: Never mind, personal computer issues just flipped out.
Crabtree fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jan 17, 2014 |
# ? Jan 17, 2014 20:19 |
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I never realized how bizarre and out there some of these "girl games" come out to be. I'm not even quite sure what kind of a message "go find your blankie by shooting at animals with a crossbow" game is really trying to send
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 21:15 |
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Rosettas posted:I never realized how bizarre and out there some of these "girl games" come out to be. I'm not even quite sure what kind of a message "go find your blankie by shooting at animals with a crossbow" game is really trying to send All little girls love small, cute animals and medieval weaponry, silly!
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 21:19 |
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Clayren posted:All little girls love small, cute animals and medieval weaponry, silly! Frankly, I've based my taste in women on that principal. I could never love any woman who doesn't know how to operate a crossbow.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 21:47 |
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It's weird how uniform almost all those dressup games looked, even among the ones not made by the same people. It was the same two proportions for all of them. I wonder how much money these games make. They must make something, right?
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 21:57 |
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I can't even believe how many incredible things happen in those first two videos. Your serious feminism discussion juxtaposed with firing a crossbow at a kitten, chatting about the lack of player agency as you put a pirate hat on a dog. Also holy loving poo poo the racism is already incredible and you have barely scratched the surface. I don't have anything to say about the killing men with eye lasers game because it's accurate to real life.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 22:05 |
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Clayren posted:All little girls love small, cute animals and medieval weaponry, silly!
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 22:10 |
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I didn't realize this was in the works but I'm suddenly very excited I've played plenty of bad games before, but never this particular kind of bad.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 22:15 |
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I just have to say that the Unicorn armour @ 17:30ish disturbs me with its terrible perspective. I am pretty sure that that classroom is just a stock image used in every anime ever. Eye lasers and crossbows: Two features of the two softwares demonstrated that are actual games. Veloxyll fucked around with this message at 23:00 on Jan 17, 2014 |
# ? Jan 17, 2014 22:24 |
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DVAC NO DO NOT DESCEND INTO THIS RABBIT HOLE HEREIN LIES GRASSLAMB.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 22:37 |
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I think somebody has to address the elefant in the room, so I'll do it: That Selena Gomez game was some real funny poo poo. Aside from her body apparently being a smelly mess that needs a ton of perfume in very specific spots, the hair on her legs made me laugh real good. Even more so if you take into account that it supposedly grew over the span of a single night? It was almost like a loving MAD magazine parody. Though, I was disappointed that Asterisk didn't pick up on the phrase "You have to put a steamer on your face" e: Also, eyelaser flirting Tin Tim fucked around with this message at 22:55 on Jan 17, 2014 |
# ? Jan 17, 2014 22:47 |
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Rosettas posted:I never realized how bizarre and out there some of these "girl games" come out to be. I'm not even quite sure what kind of a message "go find your blankie by shooting at animals with a crossbow" game is really trying to send What message does 'win girls by jumping on mushrooms and killing turtles' send?
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 22:55 |
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gegi posted:What message does 'win girls by jumping on mushrooms and killing turtles' send? Being persistent (also violent towards fungi) will get you laid.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:00 |
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Are there any girl games that aren't there to remind you that if you're a girl, you're utterly screwed and must spend 500 dollars in beauty products every day? Can they somehow get even shallower than what we've seen in the first two videos? Although I must say, I was a huge fan of crossbow-wielding plush puppy and robot lady turning men to ghosts with eye lasers. Why was that one game only rated 68%, that was like the only half good game in the whole lot!
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:03 |
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Psychedelic Eyeball posted:Although I must say, I was a huge fan of crossbow-wielding plush puppy and robot lady turning men to ghosts with eye lasers. Why was that one game only rated 68%, that was like the only half good game in the whole lot! Wouldn't be surprised if it were rated down for lack of customization options. This is a GIRL GAME you must play DRESS UP.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:09 |
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Finally a series of games for me, a girl, who games. A gamer girl if you will
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:15 |
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Psychedelic Eyeball posted:Are there any girl games that aren't there to remind you that if you're a girl, you're utterly screwed and must spend 500 dollars in beauty products every day? Sure, there are plenty of them, but they're not purchased by the company that runs the big "games for girls" site network. Back when I looked into this sort of thing for business reasons, those search terms were dominated by a handful of sites all owned by the same people, all cross-linking to each other to build up their ranking. The economy of flash games for ad views is something separate from standard indie game development that I don't really understand. It comes down to: what do you define as a girl game? If the criteria are looking exactly like one of these games, then of course they're all terrible, but that's because you've used terrible as the definition, if you see what I mean.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:17 |
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:21 |
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I was totally like you DV, although I embraced femininity earlier (high school) and less thoroughly. I still hate dresses and never wear makeup, but my hair is a source of constant vanity and I collect scarves like limited-edition beanie babies. One thing I don't think a lot of women experience is actually talking about why they feel the need to pretty themselves up. I once had a sociology of gender class where we talked to the person next to us about how they get ready for the day and why, and the girl I was talking to rattled off a list of things she did in the morning but could not for the life of her explain why she did them other than they made her feel pretty.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:25 |
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Awh yis. I expect to see some Barbie's Horse Adventure in this thread.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:29 |
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Warrior Pinkie Pie and "Flirting in the Street" killed me. But drat, these games are just upsetting. The saddest part is that they are all basically the same. Like there is literally nothing else the programmers can imagine a girl would ever want to pretend to do other than wash her face and put on clothes. Riveting. Between that and slaying monsters or exploring a magical land or raising dragons, how could I choose?! I never suspected that eyebrow-plucking would figure in so often as a game mechanic but here we are. Are you planning on doing any licensed games? Those were the Games For Girls I grew up with (more accurately, popped in the disc drive once, did something so insipid and stereotypical I can't even remember it, got to see a unicorn dance, then tossed the disk into the bottom of the pile to play more Tetris and Battle Chess) and a cursory glance in the aisles of Big Box shows they are as abysmal as ever. As far as the "Are these games" issue, a better question might be, "If these are meant to be games, how the hell do you win?" (Though come to mention it, I don't think you can win...) E: VV The saddest thing is, I knew the answer would boil down to "Money, dear Rahonavis fucked around with this message at 01:34 on Jan 18, 2014 |
# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:33 |
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Someone with better skills than me needs to make a "Games for girls flash games never changes facial expressions" because holy crap, every single one of those games had almost the exact same facial expression. The only exceptions were pizza time, street-flirting and that dream date one (because she had a nose while most of the others didn't.) Also why is that pizza time game a girl game? The only thing I can think of is some sort of sexism about how women belong in the kitchen. I can't decide if that's better or worse than the overt fashion stuff going on.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:46 |
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Rahonavis posted:The saddest part is that they are all basically the same. Like there is literally nothing else the programmers can imagine a girl would ever want to pretend to do other than wash her face and put on clothes. Further back in the distant reaches of the internet before this particular network of sites came to prominence, I recall these dress-up things being more commonly called dollmakers. Not games. People made them for fun, there were webrings (anyone remember webrings?) and collection sites to help you navigate to more and more dollmakers, because people who found these things fun tended to want more of them to play with. At the time it wasn't even particularly young girls that were expected to be the audience. That's the niche that these companies went into. They really heavily pushed the term 'girl games' to dominate the search engine results for it and to strongly associate it with these things in people's minds. And because these flash dollmakers are so cheap they could easily pay people to make loads and loads of them. They want people to come to their site and click absently through these games. They want people to come back and see what new ones have been added. And they want them to be slightly unfulfilled and bored so that they'll click on advertising. It's not so much that the programmers can't think of anything else girls would like to do, it's that they've been given the brief of "$500 for every dressup game". (I forget the exact prices, but I talked to a few people who did this sort of thing in the past. For that matter some of them were artists who licensed the code and then could produce games with identical features but different art and get paid for each set they produced.) It's all about the money. Ubisoft's Imagine line, on the other hand, has an entirely different set of problems. Some of those games are okay, some of them are terrifyingly bad, but they're not operating on the same model as free flash website games. Terrible retail games often focus their efforts on being cheap and bright and right in the reach of a parent who doesn't know anything about games and just wants something to make their child happy.
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# ? Jan 17, 2014 23:57 |
Aw yeah, been waiting on this thread I'M READY FOR SOME PINK STUFF AND GLITTER AND poo poo
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# ? Jan 18, 2014 00:09 |
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Rahonavis posted:Are you planning on doing any licensed games? Some of them! However, I know for a fact Dyslexiactic and FutureFriend are going to start a Barbie Games Megathread quite soon, and likely there will be a lot of cross-pollination between our threads. Some might even call them, Sister Threads~
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# ? Jan 18, 2014 00:13 |
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Geop posted:Aw yeah, been waiting on this thread I'M READY FOR SOME PINK STUFF AND GLITTER AND poo poo GANG TAG FOUND
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# ? Jan 18, 2014 00:14 |
Is it Pladies or Playdies? Because I can fix it super fast
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# ? Jan 18, 2014 00:19 |
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Geop posted:Aw yeah, been waiting on this thread I'M READY FOR SOME PINK STUFF AND GLITTER AND poo poo Geop holy poo poo that gang tag. Hooooooooooooooly poo poo. Also I think it might be playdies? I have no official content to reference. edit: I keep leaving the thread and then coming back again to laugh at that gang tag like a crazy person
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# ? Jan 18, 2014 00:21 |
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It's Playdies.
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# ? Jan 18, 2014 00:22 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 03:23 |
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Video Dames
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# ? Jan 18, 2014 00:29 |