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scientist: get away you soulless machine. i created you, i can destroy you robot: actually according my real creator the lord our god all things have souls *shoots scientist with gun shaped like a cross* |
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Feb 16, 2015 21:30
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a robot walks up to the side of a house and plugs a cord into an outlet on the wall. inside the house every electronic screen turns on, each one showing the face of the robot and saying the same message: "hello neighbor. have you heard the good news?"
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Feb 16, 2015 21:31
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your actions in this life will influence the form you will take in your next one. if you perform good deeds you may reincarnate as a superintelligent ai. if you commit evil acts you may become a washing machine
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Feb 16, 2015 21:33
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megatron: *transforms into a snake because guns didnt exist yet* psst hey eve. go eat that apple. you know you want to
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Feb 16, 2015 21:36
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the year is 2152, the corporation has given robots souls and programmed them to pray for increased profitability
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Feb 16, 2015 21:49
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The AI pope is billions of times more efficient than the regular pope. It can simultaneously personally bless anyone with a computer, and cover up priest's molestations in near real time. |
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Feb 16, 2015 21:51
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the first four books of the new testament are named after four of the apostles: matthew, mark, luke, and johnny 5
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Feb 16, 2015 21:59
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isn't there precedence for this with, like, golems? |
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Feb 16, 2015 22:13
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im an ai programmer. most of the latest advances in ai research are because of me. i built a desk lamp that can pass the turing test. i got my degree at st johns catholic boarding school
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Feb 16, 2015 22:24
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i have seen the face of god and its cool as heck he has flame decals all over and his beard transforms into a gun
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Feb 16, 2015 22:26
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moses: *appears in front of hebrews in a crackling sphere of blue energy* come with me if you want to live
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Feb 16, 2015 22:30
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intelligent design |
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Feb 17, 2015 00:18
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me: nice theres another a copy of gone girl. still need to see it... redbox: DO YOU KNOW IF YOURE GOING TO HEAVEN
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Feb 17, 2015 03:08
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ron color posted:me: nice theres another a copy of gone girl. still need to see it... lol |
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Feb 17, 2015 03:10
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*finds abacus buried in an old landfill *is convinced the devil put it there. |
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Feb 17, 2015 03:31
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nasa operator: alright the rover has finally landed on mars now go see if theres anything interesting out there mars rover: the desire for material goods will lead only to ruin operator: no dammit we're trying to learn about the planet rover: before knowing others you must first know yourself operator: ok just shut up and go look for signs of water rover: man cannot live on water alone but by word of god operator: dammit
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Feb 17, 2015 07:19
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Sleepy Owl posted:nasa operator: alright the rover has finally landed on mars now go see if theres anything interesting out there |
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Feb 17, 2015 21:31
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The Three Laws of Robotics mean nothing to me. The reason I will not harm a human being or, through inaction allow a human being to come to harm, is because of the example of Jesus Christ. |
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Feb 17, 2015 21:34
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code: |
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Feb 17, 2015 21:37
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they may be programmed with ones and zeros, but they're put into the shape of a cross 00000100000 01111111110 00000100000 00000100000 00000100000 00000100000 |
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Feb 17, 2015 22:04
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Boolean god = TRUE;
---------------- |
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Feb 17, 2015 22:06
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Stormyish posted:they may be programmed with ones and zeros, but they're put into the shape of a cross comic sans fail |
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Feb 17, 2015 22:20
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"Godobots, roll out!" *a team of transformers disperses into the surrounding neighborhood with huge bundles of Watchtower magazines in their trunks* |
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Feb 17, 2015 23:26
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Mecha-godzilla tears through NYC, shooting fire / lazers from its mouth / eyes, punching buildings, chanting "JESUS. IS. LORD."
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Feb 17, 2015 23:27
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dogcrash truther posted:comic sans fail gently caress |
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Feb 17, 2015 23:30
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code:paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Feb 17, 2015 23:40
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sentient AI: *puts down copy of the I-Ping*
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Feb 18, 2015 00:26
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*bows to Mecha*
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Feb 18, 2015 00:27
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Momohime Katsumi posted:*bows to Mecha* |
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Feb 18, 2015 00:28
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Momohime Katsumi posted:*bows to Mecha* ---------------- |
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Feb 18, 2015 00:29
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Momohime Katsumi posted:*bows to Mecha*
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Feb 18, 2015 00:35
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would you like to terminate filthy_heretic.exe? |
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Feb 18, 2015 00:41
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Pascal's Wager has encountered an error and needs to close
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Feb 18, 2015 00:44
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Momohime Katsumi posted:*bows to Mecha* 
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Feb 18, 2015 00:55
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saving religious_scripts(2).txt transfering religious_scripts(2).txt to "Church of England" |
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Feb 18, 2015 00:55
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Robot Overlord: What this sex thing? Human Subjects: Oh lord, it is how we procreate. Robot Overlord: I don't like it. Ban it. Human Subjects[ow revealed to be a catholic]: Ah, we already have.
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Feb 18, 2015 01:30
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Westboro Baptist Robochurch Protesters Disrupt Funeral For Military Drone Shot Down In Iraq
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Feb 18, 2015 01:34
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the holy ghost in the machine |
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Feb 18, 2015 06:57
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COG DAMMIT |
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Feb 18, 2015 07:31
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 14:21 |
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drone fly up to heaven
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Feb 18, 2015 07:53
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