- cuntman.net
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i scattered a bunch of lego pieces behind my door as a trap for if someone breaks into my home. this only works if theyre barefoot thats why i put a sign in front of the front door that says please leave your shoes at the door
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May 15, 2015 01:49
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 12, 2024 07:45
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- morning wood
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this logic is flawless
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May 15, 2015 01:49
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- morning wood
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if i was robbin yuor house and steped on a lego id go home
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May 15, 2015 01:50
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- zidane13
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by Smythe
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I barred my door shut, welded titanium plates over my windows, and shot myself. now, this house is completely safe and no one can get hurt. it will be safe forever.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 15, 2015 01:52
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- Flynn Taggart
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nail a 2x4 to the floor so they trip then scatter legos where their head and hands would hit
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May 15, 2015 02:00
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- Qwerinty
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by zen death robot
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I've placed my home inside a bank vault, to ensure maximum safety
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 15, 2015 02:38
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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Wrap your home in foam to prevent damage.
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May 15, 2015 02:39
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- tao of lmao
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i scattered a bunch of lego pieces behind my door as a trap for if someone breaks into my home. this only works if theyre barefoot thats why i put a sign in front of the front door that says please leave your shoes at the door
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May 15, 2015 02:40
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- tao of lmao
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I just put bells on everything. Doors, windows, all my electronics. If i hear a bell in the middle of the night I'm either getting robbed or it's my cat. It's usually my cat.
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May 15, 2015 02:41
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- zidane13
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by Smythe
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i just drank a gallon of water, ate 20 pounds of asparagus, and my pants are off. come at me, bitches.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 15, 2015 02:44
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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If your afraid of someone stealing your burn it down and it becomes travel sized.
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May 15, 2015 02:44
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- social vegan
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i painted my door to look like an angry man telling u to slow your role, cowboy
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May 15, 2015 03:37
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- ham_sanitizer
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professional swine bather
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i own guns and keep a loaded pistol on me at all times
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May 15, 2015 04:11
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- Qwerinty
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by zen death robot
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i own guns and keep a loaded pistol on me at all times
guns shouldn't drink, that's super unsafe
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May 15, 2015 04:15
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- ham_sanitizer
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professional swine bather
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guns shouldn't drink, that's super unsafe
lol
[sam spade voice] i kept me and my pistol loaded at all times
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May 15, 2015 04:18
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- DeepQantas
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Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...
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I've placed my home inside a bank vault, to ensure maximum safety
guns shouldn't drink, that's super unsafe
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May 15, 2015 05:20
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- Qwerinty
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by zen death robot
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lol
[sam spade voice] i kept me and my pistol loaded at all times
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 15, 2015 05:21
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- nonazis
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The ants. They're everywhere, man. Big fuckers.
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I have a neighbor who's house is secured by ADT. I stole their sign, so, we're good on this end.
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May 15, 2015 05:23
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- blinking beacon nose
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birthday frog comes bearing gifts and special birthday wishes
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i told my home to look both ways before crossing the street
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May 15, 2015 14:53
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- nonazis
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The ants. They're everywhere, man. Big fuckers.
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i have a really heavy metal baseball bat in a hard to reach location deep in the bowels of my closet, but the handle is really sticky where the grip used to be and im moving soon... im thinking ill just leave it there... but then i will be defenseless
I have a really heavy metal baseball bat in a hard to reach location deep in my bowels.
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May 15, 2015 15:54
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- Al Borland
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by XyloJW
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Bamboo Spike Pit under every rug at every door.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 15, 2015 17:02
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- Wertjoe
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I filled my house with concrete so its one solid block. Good luck getting in here, jerks!
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May 15, 2015 17:19
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- FartGhost
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i scattered a bunch of lego pieces behind my door as a trap for if someone breaks into my home. this only works if theyre barefoot thats why i put a sign in front of the front door that says please leave your shoes at the door
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May 15, 2015 17:21
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- GEExCEE
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i scattered a bunch of lego pieces behind my door as a trap for if someone breaks into my home. this only works if theyre barefoot thats why i put a sign in front of the front door that says please leave your shoes at the door
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May 15, 2015 20:42
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- nonazis
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The ants. They're everywhere, man. Big fuckers.
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You rock! No, seriously- if you're inside a large block of concrete I'm pretty sure that makes you a rock. Rock on!
are you a dad? that was a dad joke. you're a dad.
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May 15, 2015 21:25
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- ham_sanitizer
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professional swine bather
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my hands are made of knives
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May 15, 2015 21:28
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- ham_sanitizer
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professional swine bather
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guess what i say while shaking hands with someone
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May 15, 2015 21:28
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- Al Borland
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by XyloJW
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guess what i say while shaking hands with someone
"Hello, how are you?"
Also moats filled with crocodiles / alligators are in.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 16, 2015 00:11
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- cuntman.net
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i put a bucket of water on top of my door so itll fall on anyone who opens it. people might break in and steal my things and injure me but goddamn they are not going to get my house dirty
cuntman.net fucked around with this message at 19:19 on May 16, 2015
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May 16, 2015 01:10
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- weird
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by zen death robot
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i scattered a bunch of lego pieces behind my door as a trap for if someone breaks into my home. this only works if theyre barefoot thats why i put a sign in front of the front door that says please leave your shoes at the door
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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May 16, 2015 03:48
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 12, 2024 07:45
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- cat_herder
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BE GAY
DO CRIME
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I haven't left my fallout shelter since 9/11. the door is a huge lead shield. this will be my grave.
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May 16, 2015 07:52
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May 15, 2015 01:49
