Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Beet Wagon posted:

Really do think we should still change the subforum name to The Derek Smart Memorial Colosseum for the Mentally Ill though.

You can have a memorial for someone who isn't dead yet, right?

He warlords in several planes of existence. Dead or alive means nothing.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 9, 2024 03:24

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Beet Wagon posted:

Really do think we should still change the subforum name to The Derek Smart Memorial Colosseum for the Mentally Ill though.

You can have a memorial for someone who isn't dead yet, right?

Beet Wagon posted:

I don't think I have the power to change the subforum name, but "Derek Smart's Nightmare Autism Battle Arena" does have a p nice ring to it haha.

I think this was much better.

Ol Cactus Dick posted:

Nightmare Autism Battle Arena is better

e2: yes!

Zzr posted:

Dr. Smart for idiot king poo poo would fit.

Propagandist posted:

Okay! I will be your friend. Tag me as "Friend".

But for real though 2016 is coming to a close and I am so loving glad of it, but I'm somehow doubtful that 2.6 with a functioning Star Marine is going to land in the backers' hands by Jan. 1.

And this was promised in weeks, not months. And 3.0 before the end of the year. Are the backers still even listening to this poo poo? When Chris tosses something like this around, it's very obviously to sell ships, such as the Predator Drone 8-14 at Citcon.

How are they not seeing that CIG isn't just "failing to deliver on time", or that "the schedule slipped"? How can you not grasp that it was horseshit to begin with to pad their offices/houses/garages with more expensive garbage?

My inside sources in whaledom have 3 different explanations for why all is well and good and not a bad sign at all that they already failed on the first point of their schedule. We're into loving Jamestown territory, these guys are going down with the ship. No question about it.

e:
And there's this creepy common narrative of "if it fails it's my fault for not scrutinizing them so I deserve to lose the money". They all trot this poo poo out, I never saw someone actually write that publicly on reddit but if pressed hard enough they all fall back to that weird self-flagellating last stand in private.

MeLKoR fucked around with this message at 03:36 on Nov 24, 2016

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:30

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

He was buried, and he was raised from the leper colony on the third day, just as the scriptures said.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:30

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

Propagandist posted:

Nightmare Autism Battle Arena was a pretty good one though. And also accurate.

e:fb

I like that one. I've changed it. Beet can change it when this one runs its course

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:32

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

orcinus posted:

Now the INN is split, where will i read such titillating works as "Erris making coasters"?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQFgbFA1u7o

http://webcache.googleusercontent.c...n&ct=clnk&gl=us

My favorite way to make geeky coasters involve a hot glue gun, some felt, some scissors, and CDs from really crappy games.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:33

Decrepus: May 21, 2008; In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.

Nuclearmonkee posted:

He was buried, and he was raised from the leper colony on the third day, just as the scriptures said.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:34

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

Beet Wagon posted:

Really do think we should still change the subforum name to The Derek Smart Memorial Colosseum for the Mentally Ill though.

You can have a memorial for someone who isn't dead yet, right?

No dice because it has to have Star Citizen in it this isn't any old colosseum for the mentally ill for anything

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:36

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Nuclearmonkee posted:

He was buried, and he was raised from the leper colony on the third day, just as the scriptures said.

but with a roman centurion falling backwards

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:38

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

lazorexplosion posted:

No dice because it has to have Star Citizen in it this isn't any old colosseum for the mentally ill for anything

Derek Smart's Nightmare Autism Battle Arena Commander

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:38

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

MeLKoR posted:

but with a roman centurion falling backwards

And some guy skating around in a t-pose with the Spear of Destiny stuck to his hand

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:39

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

Beet Wagon posted:

And some guy skating around in a t-pose with the Spear of Destiny firing out of his rear end

fidelitized

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:40

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Raskolnikov posted:

Fuzzknot wasn't bad. I think you all just flipped your collective poo poo because sexism. I wouldn't stick around either. Bootcha was fun but he's going to pick his SO over some dead gay comedy forum.

I had no problem with her (obviously). And she was just saying pretty much what we all thought about Premenstrua, Queen of the Harpies. And it wasn't like they hadn't hosed over Bootcha either.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:41

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

Did Derek ever loving finish

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:41

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Ol Cactus Dick posted:

fidelitized

You know, this whole thing is starting to seem a bit familiar...

I'm sure CIG won't mind people copying from them though, right?

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:42

starkebn: May 18, 2004; "Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

D_Smart posted:

I like that one. I've changed it. Beet can change it when this one runs its course

Holy shiiiiiit Derek, your avatar :eyepop:

DED

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:43

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

whoa you weren't supposed to leak the box art yet

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:44

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Pilz posted:

TIME FOR FOODPOSTING IN HONOUR OF THE THANKSGIVING YOU 'MURRICANS ARE ABOOT TO HAVE. Have a weird-rear end dish that my family on my mom's side has been making for ages. It's meant as a dessert or side dish. We usually serve it along with the usual Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Cranberry Sauce, stuffing, Green Beans, Broccoli, and so on, and actually tastes pretty good. Trust me.

Sweet Potato Pie / Sweet Potato Casserole

Ingredients:
Sweet Potatoes - Enough to cover the bottom of the dish you're using. In the images provided I used too few.
Bacon - One pack's usually enough, again this is a coverage thing more than a quantity.
The secret weird ingredient - Coverage amounts, for the dish I used I needed a pack and a half. Shh, don't be scared.

Wash, skin, and chop up the yams and chuck them in the dish.

Chuck those in the oven, at like 350 or whatever. Use your judgement. Keep an eye on them. Step two, chop bacon.

Chopped them into thirds. Fourths also works. Keep an eye on the potatoes, and when you start to be able to stick a fork in them most of the way, take out the dish and lay on the bacon. Feel free to trim some of the fat off, I'm just a lazy poo poo. Then, do this:

Back into the oven until...

Now, we're doing good so far. Y'know, we could probably stop here and it would be fine...wait, what's tha-

Oh no

I NEED AN ADULT

And you're done

I swear to god this is a real dish my actual family of not idiots and people who regularly cook their own perfectly respectable meals makes for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners every year.

You had me up to the marshmallows. Maybe some melted sharp cheddar or something, but not marshmallows.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:44

Sarsapariller: Aug 14, 2015; Occasional vampire queen

peter gabriel posted:

What a delightful tapestry of characters this thread is, long may it thrive

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:44

starkebn: May 18, 2004; "Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

Sickening posted:

RIP Moma, looks like you are about to be spending :tenbux: soon.

that's barely 2 hours wages :smug:

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:44

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

starkebn posted:

Holy shiiiiiit Derek, your avatar

DED

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:45

BadOptics: Sep 11, 2012

Ramc posted:

My favorite part is the implication that his Expensive Attorneys not only make sure he doesn't break actual laws, but also advise him on SA forums rules

Glad someone else noticed that. lol

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:46

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

i'll see you all

in space court!!!!

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:49

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

The Titanic posted:

This makes me happy. It's like getting closure on something I never figured I'd know how it all turned out. Thank you, friend.

No worries. Always glad to oblige. (They are also a disgustingly cute couple. :barf:

)

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:49

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

D_Smart posted:

OFFICIAL STATEMENT

I am going to keep this short; though I did consider writing a blog.

First of all, I have been around and an Internet Warlord for decades now. I know the drill. I've seen flamewars errupt and evolve from BBS teletype, to badly formatted Usenet postings, to articulate blogs.

I am well versed in the ways of online discourse.

I do not support, condone, nor engage in doxing.

Aside from the fact that the law is very clear on doxing.

Back in 2013, I wrote a primer on it in fact.

And there are additional resources on specifically this, what is legal, illegal etc. READ:

Doxxing: It�s Like Hacking, But Legal

The Problem With �Doxxing�

The Illegal Activity of �Doxing�: Revealing �documents or personal information� about a person, without their permission, with the intent to Threaten, Harass, Intimidate, Shame, Humiliate or Place at Risk

Basically, the doxing and stalking laws are

Pointing out someone's social media page, isn't doxing.

Pointing out that person A is really person B under an alias, isn't doxing.

Posting material that the person themselves made public, isn't, never was, and never will be, doxing.

If the above were doxing, every single person in the media would be guilty of having committed a crime.

What MoMa did here months ago, was doxing. And it's 100% legally actionable. He posted that I had a traffic citation. There was no context or reason for it to be here in a forum where we're making fun of grown men buying JPEG space ships. He posted it with malice, and with the intent to harass and harm. The only thing he didn't do, was post the actual citation itself; but anyone incited by his posting, could very well go seek it out for themselves. They never knew about it before he posted it.

I didn't dox Deloria (now banned). Though the post has been removed here, it is still on my website (post # 4905) for anyone who cares to go and read it for themselves.

All I did was out a scammer using material they themselves posted here (e.g. this post) and on social media.

Period. End of story.

There are NO rules on SA which prohibit what I did. Not a single one. Don't take my word for it though, here, go read all the rule pages

Then FAU, after emerging from what I can only imagine must have been a meltdown recovery process, switched from "doxing" to "helldumping". Which, to me - and anyone with a brain that's in working condition - was hilarious; seeing as the latter isn't even an SA rule. That aside from the fact that the very notion of "helldumping" is so far removed from "doxing", that in and of itself, is NOT a bannable offense. Probation? Yeah, maybe' it depends on the mod.

The fact of the matter is that since FAU tried to close down this forum - and failed; he's been gunning for me because not only did I have it brought back, but I was made mod. Heck, we just had yet another spat mere months ago over this same thing.

This sub-forum is moderated on a honor system. As a mod, I never had to take any action other than probating some people (4) when they cross the line. Once, after several probates, I probated someone for 30 days. I didn't perma-ban.

This sub-forum has never - ever - broken ANY of the SA rules. We encourage off-topic posts (recipes, memes etc) because it breaks from the monotony of making GBS threads on Star Citizen and Shitizens 24-7.

A LOT of people followed me to SA and paid 10 bux to be able read what I post, interact, find the lols etc. That too is a solid fact.

Yet, somehow, for some bullshit reason, FAU is of the opinion that I am not a "good" mod. The regulars here and I had a good laugh about that on on Discord, for the sheer hilarity of it. And when pressed, like the absentee landlord, he simply couldn't point out a SINGLE reason WHY he thinks I'm not a "good" mod. Not one.

Aside from the fact that I didn't even ask to be a loving mod. In much the same way that Beer4TheBeerGod and Beet Wagon didn't get asked either. He made them mods, then installed an IK buffoon who subsequently shat up my nice sub-forum, while attracting all the rear end-clowns from FYAD and elsewhere - and who otherwise didn't even know we existed here in our niche corner.

This is bullshit. What the gently caress is the matter with you people; that a forum with such HIGH TRAFFIC and quality posters who are otherwise behaving themselves and abiding by the rules, can't be left alone?!? The money is going into Lowtax's coffers, so what do you care, and why be salty about it?

Look, I am not a stranger to being banned. Heck, I was banned TWICE on FDev for breaking the rules. And in both cases, it was a matter of a "shady" areas in which 1) I was using asterisk to bypass the bad word filter 2) I posted material from here on SA

So, if I had somehow broken an SA rule, and been banned as a result, it won't have been any big deal. I would pay the 10 bux, re-reg, and get right back into the poo poo-posting.

As I am 100% certain (and I have high priced attorneys who ensure that I don't do/say stupid poo poo that will get me arrested or sued) that I hadn't broken an SA rule, let alone guilty of doxing, I refused to re-reg on principle alone. And I made that clear to everyone who asked.

As the regulars here on my Discord can attest to, I said that I wasn't coming back here unless the ban was reversed. Then a group (7 at last count) of people (one of them being a backer here on SA who I had saved money by helping him get a Star Citizen refund) offered to pay the 10 bux if I came back. I still refused. Then some made the case that as long as I wasn't the one paying the 10 bux, it won't break my principles and that I should consider it.

So I did.

And here I am.

Nevertheless, seeing as there is a mod actively holding a grudge and who I believe is going to keep finding ways to either get me probated, banned or who I believe wants to see the forum die, I won't be as prolific a poster as I used to be because this is bullshit.

sir this is a mcdonald's

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:50

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Now that we are officially the Nightmare Autism Battle Arena we should start thinking of the future. As recent events have shown if we are to resist foreign aggression we need lebensraum. I hereby propose that we move to annex the Bitcoin thread and bring it under our rule. Let it be the Sudetenland before our Blitzkrieg on Games.

We're coming for you FAU!

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:50

Sarsapariller: Aug 14, 2015; Occasional vampire queen

Beer: "You fell!"

Ganderek: "Through fire. And water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought him, the Catfish of Norway. Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the thread. Bans took me then. And I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as the life age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt light in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done."

Beer: "Derek!"

Ganderek: "Derek? Oh yes. That's what they used to call me. Derek the Warlord. That was my name. I am Ganderek the White. And I come back to you now, at the extinction level event. One stage of your journey is over, another begins. War has come to Something Awful. We must ride to discord with all speed."

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:52

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

MeLKoR posted:

Now that we are officially the Nightmare Autism Battle Arena we should start thinking of the future. As recent events have shown if we are to resist foreign aggression we need lebensraum. I hereby propose that we move to annex the Bitcoin thread and bring it under our rule. Let it be the Sudetenland before our Blitzkrieg on Games.

We're coming for you FAU!

sounds like a lot of effort

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:54

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Ash1138 posted:

sir this is a mcdonald's

+42

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:55

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Ash1138 posted:

sounds like a lot of effort

This is why we can't have nice things.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:56

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

orcinus posted:

There can be only one.

Fat Shat Sings posted:

There is a 12,700 page ADTRW thread in the gas chamber. Followed by the Bernie 2016 thread which is still bigger than this one.

Right then, who's got a katana? We need to settle this one for good.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:58

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

MeLKoR posted:

This is why we can't have nice things.

says the guy who wants to willingly annex a bitcoin forum

# ? Nov 24, 2016 03:59

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Samizdata posted:

Right then, who's got a katana? We need to settle this one for good.

i'm imagining the scene in predator 2 where everyone on the subway has a gun

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:00

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

because goons are nerds and nerds are awash in katanas

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:01

no_recall: Aug 17, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

Derek, time to give us the deets.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:01

Gradis: Feb 27, 2016; GAPE APE

nice belt.

its all about the choking.

Gradis fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Nov 24, 2016

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:02

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

D_Smart posted:

I like that one. I've changed it. Beet can change it when this one runs its course

Thanks

Gonna keep that one in my pocket though, I think we need something a hair more fitting for this momentous occasion.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:02

TheLightPurges: Sep 24, 2016; by exmarx

I see you are contrite and humbled by the experience Sir Derek

Time to finally finish off all the blue balls in this thread as a show of welcome

Spill the deets.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:02

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Ash1138 posted:

says the guy who wants to willingly annex a bitcoin forum

Look, I don't like the idea of gassing those people any more than you do but our survival as a nation demands it.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:03

TheLightPurges: Sep 24, 2016; by exmarx

MeLKoR posted:

Look, I don't like the idea of gassing those people any more than you do but our survival as a nation demands it.

If CIG tanks the stock of bitcoins somehow then no one will be able to buy drugs or child porn with them. CIG will be doing some good.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 9, 2024 03:24

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

MeLKoR posted:

Look, I don't like the idea of gassing those people any more than you do but our survival as a nation demands it.

genocide apologist~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:05

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »