|
-Bought 120 avocadoes -Peeled and pitted all avocadoes -Whipped avocadoes into a thick paste -Applied said paste as stucco on all the ceilings |
![]() |
|
![]() |
# ? Jun 10, 2024 20:57 |
|
-Called up an Uber -Requested trip to local Wal-Mart -Bought 65 helium filled balloons -Hired another Uber driver to deliver all 65 helium filled balloons to the multiplex theater at the mall -Somehow was allowed to carry in and then released all 65 balloons during the middle of the showing of Infinity Wars https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
![]() |
|
-Remembered last night |
![]() |
|
- bought all 5 seasons of big love on blu ray from amazon.. tWeNtY tWo TiMeS - glued all 5 seasons of big love on blu ray into a crude chair-like structure - sat in the big love chair for 2 hours listening to an endless loop of brian cranston reciting ozymandias and pretending to be the polygamist ruler of bill paxtonia
|
![]() |
|
- woke up on a zipline - learned Esperanto - broke world record for longest pee - finished an entire tube of chapstick - not sure why but you venmoed someone named @BigDave $73 and the description only says "🎣🎳💣📎" - bought a nice hat CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
![]() |
|
you wake up and discover that you've polished all the silver, and called your mother. it was a nice conversation. |
![]() |
|
The good news: You wake up and there's a message for you on your answering machine! The bad news: It's you calling yourself last night after taking Ambien needing bail money to get out of jail... and you don't know how you made out; are you a fugitive from justice? Did you make your bail? You'll find out soon enough! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
![]() |
|
-bought a case of expired spicy brown mustard from Amazon Warehouse Deals* -drove to nearest Walmart Neighborhood Market, purchased Oreo cheesecake dip, drove home, constructed CheezIt sandwiches with dip, left on balcony in case birds were hungry* -left note for self about bird snacks* -entered contest to win bass boat, only realized six weeks later when they called to let me know I had won bass boat (do not fish)* *things I've actually done while under influence of Ambien
|
![]() |
|
-I've never taken Ambien -Or HAVE I? https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
![]() |
|
hamjobs posted:-bought a case of expired spicy brown mustard from Amazon Warehouse Deals* You're a wonder and a delight, Hamjobs!
|
![]() |
|
* found a proof for fermat's last theorem that fit in the margin * used marginalia as rolling papers
|
![]() |
|
Robot Made of Meat posted:You're a wonder and a delight, Hamjobs! also an insomniac
|
![]() |
|
hamjobs posted:-bought a case of expired spicy brown mustard from Amazon Warehouse Deals* I thought this was another fictional list and was waiting for all the items to collide into some epic punchline Unless you're the Yellow Birdking of Spaulding Lake I keep hearing about |
![]() |
|
google THIS posted:I thought this was another fictional list and was waiting for all the items to collide into some epic punchline I'll never tell~
|
![]() |
|
Splatmaster posted:-I've never taken Ambien
|
![]() |
Splatmaster posted:-I've never taken Ambien lol ---------------- |
|
![]() |
waking up in a fog only to realize youve sold all your bitcoin
---------------- |
|
![]() |
|
waking up in a fog only to realize youve bought all of some guys bitcoin
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
![]() |
Why is everyone calling me Mr.President? | |
![]() |
|
Joined the kkk and burned down my own home.
---------------- |
![]() |
|
drilldo squirt posted:Joined the kkk and burned down my own home. Sir, this is the UNLIKELY Ambien Adventures thread. |
![]() |
|
I gave them a what? you mean the appendix? srs that was just a laugh, they'll invent medicine soon enough and figure out how to remove it, no big thang. oh, ah, "free will" you say? hmm. hmmmmmm. poo poo. |
![]() |
|
- drew warboys paint with eyeliner all over my face and sent endless selfies to bf at 1am* The solution to my insomnia was changing jobs lol |
![]() |
|
didnt gently caress up the risotto |
![]() |
|
I read this as “Unlikely Amphibian Adventures” and thought it was a new vanisher thread ![]()
|
![]() |
|
Passed my driving exam |
![]() |
|
poverty goat posted:Passed my driving exam ![]() hope you're gonna celebrate by driving somewhere nice I'm not saying you should drive somewhere to get us a pizza, but I'm also not not saying that |
![]() |
|
Starman Super DX posted:I read this as “Unlikely Amphibian Adventures” and thought it was a new vanisher thread Paging Vanisher! Paging Vanisher!
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
# ? Jun 10, 2024 20:57 |
|
true story here about the first time i took ambien. i took ambien and went to bed. i had a good night's rest and everything seemed normal. 3 days later, a big box arrives from amazon. this is weird because i don't remember ordering anything. i asked my wife, and she didn't order anything. we open it up and WOW THAT'S A LOT OF SPICY CHEX MIX. why the hell did we just receive 30 family-size bags of spicy chex mix? we couldn't think of any reason this would have been sent to us, but it has my name on the packing slip and everything so it isn't a mistake. so i logged into my order history and there it is... i thought hard about it and in a really hazy, almost 3rd person-like memory, i remember waking up and being really hungry. i guess chex mix sounded good because i logged onto amazon and ordered a box of 30 family sized bags of spicy chex mix. satisfied with the idea that my midnight snack would be arriving in 2 days (prime member, fuggedaboutit), i went back to sleep. for weeks, probably months, we brought bags to our workplaces, tried to give bags to anyone that visited our home (including mormon doorknockers). i did eat quite a lot of it myself, though... i would tell you that this burnt me out on spicy chex mix, but i still enjoy it every now and then. ----- |
![]() |