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The Bloop posted:Towers are one thing but that house as crenelated battlements With no access either, I think.
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Jul 13, 2018 17:09
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| # ? May 29, 2024 05:08 |
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Jaded Burnout posted:With no access either, I think. Yeah, that's the real tragedy here. If I have a crenellated tower, you can be drat sure there's gonna be a trap door up to it, wtf.
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Jul 13, 2018 17:44
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But does it have an authentic cesspit?
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Jul 13, 2018 17:46
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Did you miss that it's in Texas? 
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Jul 13, 2018 17:49
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Excuse me, I believe I ordered the *large* portfolio of garbage HDR with awful tone-mapping and ghosts everywhere.
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Jul 13, 2018 17:57
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extravadanza posted:
The whole thing is a trash bin, hth
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Jul 13, 2018 18:03
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schmug posted:Definitely not my taste; not very much of it anyways, but that is a far cry from a McMansion. Some of it is actually not bad. That's the "Huge craft studio w triple sink." I was expecting a room where the lady of the house putters around with her paints and whatnot, but really this looks ready to set up a sweat shop. Get a dozen ladies chained to sewing machines in there and you'll never have to buy off the rack again.
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Jul 13, 2018 18:15
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God drat the interior of that house looks so institutional. I like open plans but that looks like a furniture warehouse store. It's just this massive cavern of brown with a grid of recessed lighting and nothing to delineate between rooms/uses. If someone told me that was an old warehouse or big box store someone had temporarily converted into seniors housing and this was their big common rec room and kitchen, I'd believe and accept that. But as a single family house? Holy gently caress what were they thinking? It's like someone' first house in the sims with infinite money and no sense of scale.
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Jul 13, 2018 18:46
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I've seen shingles like that where half the stacks of them were sitting out in the sun for a while. Like they roofed half the house then the roofers took a week off or something (or quit because the customer was loving nuts)
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Jul 13, 2018 19:03
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schmug posted:Definitely not my taste; not very much of it anyways, but that is a far cry from a McMansion. Some of it is actually not bad. That's the only room in the house that feels like someone *lives* there. Looks like an arts and crafts/project room. I love the idea of a garage/shop that size, but I have no idea what I would do with a 20,000 sq. ft. house. That kitchen *island* is almost bigger than my kitchen (which is admittedly small.) tetrapyloctomy posted:What I love most about this particular house by the way, is how pissed off the neighbors must be: Also, they ran out of color matched shingles about 2/3 the way in... e: f,b on that one.
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Jul 13, 2018 19:05
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at a house a bit over six times the square footage of mine on a lot twenty percent smaller.
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schmug posted:Definitely not my taste; not very much of it anyways, but that is a far cry from a McMansion. Some of it is actually not bad. This looks like a temporary dwelling place/office for hurricane refugees. I half expect stacks of bottled water just out of sight from the camera. I think I posted an article about it in the PYF Long Articles thread, but this house seriously looks styled after a hotel. Just like all the other mcmansions are styled after generic, instagram friendly fashions, this place seem so inhospitable and temporary, like you're not meant to live there for more than a week, maximum. This is a goddamn hotel not a home. Wait I found the article: https://www.theverge.com/2016/8/3/12325104/airbnb-aesthetic-global-minimalism-startup-gentrification Ashcans posted:I wasn't joking, I am 90% sure they've covered that place in gross fake leather wallpaper. It's exactly the sort of thing someone would do because they wanted to ape some 17th century family home, which also goes with the insane turret design.  they couldn't have make the turrets be real but super small rooms like a Real Castle! The younger value-brand cereal is so disappointed in them!!!
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Jul 13, 2018 19:08
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Darchangel posted:I love the idea of a garage/shop that size, but I have no idea what I would do with a 20,000 sq. ft. house. I think the master bath might be larger than my entire apartment.
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Jul 13, 2018 19:09
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Random mix of gothic arches with round arches really bothers me for some reason. OK I can't help myself I gotta mcmansion hell this up a bit, I'm feeling inspired.  This dining room(?) looks like a hallway. Every surface is hard, too, it must echo like crazy. The aesthetic of tall narrow gothic arches to make it look more like a castle also results in very little natural light in most of the rooms.  This is definitely where I want to hang out when I'm playing the piano.  The shitstain brown kitchen is bad enough, but why the random glossy blue appliances mixed in? Also does this kitchen have like five ovens? I keep my plates and cups on the counter because if I put them in a cupboard I'd never find them again.  This bedroom looks like a hallway. That looks like weirdly cheap contractor-grade carpet. The multi-tiered cathedral ceiling is undoubtedly the cause of one of the several nubs seen on the roofline, as mcmansionhell likes to point out.  This is a bathroom with his & hers showers and a central pedestal bathtub. Its users will slip and die on the hard floor because there is nowhere to hang a towel near the showers and bath so they will be sopping wet as they wander through the many-chambered shitstain brown bathroom complex looking for some way to dry off. OK I guess maybe that's a hook next to the shower door? But the bathtub users will still fall down the slick marble steps and die. Hopefully.  What's with the cheap black fridge that doesn't fit its space? Also LOL at the ultra-fancy rich-people Monopoly set. You can aspire to play one of the worst games ever, but in the most ostentatious manner possible, as you crack open a bud light using your plastic R2D2 beer holder. I also like the jug-based water dispenser in a room with a sink that could just as easily have an under-counter filter installed.  My game room has this really nice view of the underside of my porch. Necessary of course because as we saw from the external shot, this castle is built on a tiny lot with probably no nice views to speak of unless you like to watch community baseball games.  This really isn't that bad but it's just one of those completely wasted chunks of square footage because nobody is ever, ever going to sit here, ever. There's a better room for any possible thing you'd choose to do right here. That barren furniture is there purely to make this pointless hallway look less like a pointless hallway. Also random square door instead of arched door, more gothic arched windows. I bet this is the interior of one of the many round turret things crusting the front of the house.  Let us sit here by the gas fire and stare at the decorative wine. The real wine is in the wine coolers at the bottom, but this nice big imposing wine rack has just enough bottles arranged in a symmetrical pattern to make it not look totally empty. The fireplace can keep our side-rack of additional wine nice and cozy warm. That's good for wine, right?  I'm loving the plastic washtub sink as the only evidence this garage is used to actually maintain running cars, vs. adore them as art objects. The lunch cooler probably belongs to the hired mechanic who has the misfortune of having to spend their time in this shitstain brown garage. Also this is definitely where I want to come to play cards and hang out with my guy pals.  What is the wood thing stuck to the wall on the right? are we supposed to think this is a bricked-in former doorway of this very ancient castle? Given the "grill" kitchen area I guess this is an outdoor patio type area... with pocket lights, smooth slick tile floor, a TV, and... a fireplace???  Here is a hint: when fortifying your manor against attack, crenelations are a nice way to protect the archers on your roof but maybe the glass windows on the ground floor kind of compromise the security of your defensive tower, you might want to think about that first. Also the satellite dishes kind of gently caress up the impression of ye olde castle too. As do the modern shingles.  Further evidence this side of the house is somehow a newer addition. Or, maybe they ran out of shitstain-brown concrete paint for the driveway. But you can just make out the different-colored roof tiles lining up with the unpainted concrete, so yeah I think they expanded the garage and the 2nd floor above it, because their enormous mcmansion didn't have enough car storage.
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Jul 13, 2018 19:30
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Leperflesh posted:This is a bathroom with his & hers showers and a central pedestal bathtub. Its users will slip and die on the hard floor because there is nowhere to hang a towel near the showers and bath so they will be sopping wet as they wander through the many-chambered shitstain brown bathroom complex looking for some way to dry off.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:00
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schmug posted:Definitely not my taste; not very much of it anyways, but that is a far cry from a McMansion. Some of it is actually not bad. At first glance I assumed this must be the arts and crafts room inside a retirement home.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:02
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Ashcans posted:Oh man, thank you for explaining that. My brain wasn't able to parse what the hell the bath area was, so I thought that they just had this bizarre white elevated dias in the middle of their bathroom for, uh, sanctifying a luffah or something. Not that the bath is actually any better of an idea, but at least it explains what the hell they were doing there. Not a bathtub, is the world's most bourgeoisie soap dish
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Jul 13, 2018 20:15
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Found a piece of land "up the road" from me that that place might fit better on. Comes with a house though. Sorry for the anti-Crappy Constuction Palette Cleanser...  https://kimcranehomes.com/listings/11320-harborview-drive-cleveland-oh-44102/ edit: Better Link https://www.cleveland.com/expo/life-and-culture/erry-2018/07/93bb989da52025/palatial-1910s-estate-on-lake.html#incart_2box schmug fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Jul 13, 2018 |
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Jul 13, 2018 20:28
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Why are these things at different heights?
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Jul 13, 2018 20:28
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whalesteak posted:At first glance I assumed this must be the arts and crafts room inside a retirement home. lol
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Jul 13, 2018 20:28
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Sorry, after paying for the 5 ovens they couldn't afford a matching pair of decorative urns.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:29
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What is it with realtors and horrible HDR cranked to 10000
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Jul 13, 2018 20:47
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Leon Black posted:Ask and ye shall receive: Imgur won't let me upload the actual photo, but the home theater is comically bad. Plus it's apparently where the owner displays his Lego Millennium Falcon.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:49
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TheMadMilkman posted:Imgur won't let me upload the actual photo, but the home theater is comically bad. Plus it's apparently where the owner displays his Lego Millennium Falcon. I like that it's not even that massive mini-fig scale Millennium Falcon, but just the regular one.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:52
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If you took the modern appliances out of that McMansion, it would make a perfect Thief level. Lots of tile floors and carpet, plenty of places to hide and sneak by lazy guards.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:55
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TheMadMilkman posted:Imgur won't let me upload the actual photo, but the home theater is comically bad. Plus it's apparently where the owner displays his Lego Millennium Falcon.  Only the finest to watch SD content stretched to 16:9.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:55
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Even with 8 wall sconces, that room doesn't get to escape the plague of grid recessed lightcans.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:01
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I can't help but think that those are framed pictures of christmas trees on the back wall
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Jul 13, 2018 21:04
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Darchangel posted:That kitchen *island* is almost bigger than my kitchen (which is admittedly small.) Its a Kitchen Continent.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:07
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opengl128 posted:
Did they have Bobby Sands come in to paint those walls?
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Jul 13, 2018 21:09
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schmug posted:Found a piece of land "up the road" from me that that place might fit better on. Comes with a house though. I would live there, I mean Cleveland so it would be tough, but I could survive in that house. That house is what McMansions try to be.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:24
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schmug posted:Found a piece of land "up the road" from me that that place might fit better on. Comes with a house though. Cool, it's walking distance to Now That's Class.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:27
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Weembles posted:Did they have Bobby Sands come in to paint those walls? It's a house that actually makes you think 'Hmm, beige is underrated as a wall and carpet colour'
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Jul 13, 2018 21:30
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Gunjin posted:Why are these things at different heights?  Gramp's and Gram's urns
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Jul 13, 2018 21:39
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deoju posted:8 bedrooms. loving 8 bedrooms. Finally a family home for octomom.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:47
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loving hell, I was looking at this on lovely old monitor and couldn't see that they were urns, the bottom bit completely blended in, and all I could see were the tops, which just looked like weird asymmetrical sconces. They're still ugly as poo poo, but at least it somewhat makes sense now.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:53
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deoju posted:8 bedrooms. loving 8 bedrooms. Lmao 8 bedrooms (of normal, usable size) would barely fill the towers. What the hell is in there...
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Jul 13, 2018 22:06
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multi level fucklympics gym
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Jul 13, 2018 22:10
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opengl128 posted:What is it with realtors and horrible HDR cranked to 10000 Most people don't notice, would be my guess. They just think "wow, what a colorful place" even though it's all just varying shades of brown.
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Jul 13, 2018 22:18
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Leperflesh posted:
I'm pretty sure my parents own that exact style of couch and coffee table. They are not comfy. I do want to point out one flaw with that beautiful Cleveland mansion. The two sets of glass doors in the master bathroom. Not just the shower door, or the toilet room door, but one to the bedroom and the other to either a balcony or hallway. Interesting design choice. For added content, I've made some discoveries while cleaning out my parent's basement. I posted the 30 year old jug of Peel Away in the chemistry thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3602006&perpage=40&pagenumber=211#post486090180 I also found a bird bath heater.  I am glad my parents stopped using it. And a lovely electric paint remover.   They are going away. Trash or recycling, but they are leaving this house.
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Jul 13, 2018 22:58
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| # ? May 29, 2024 05:08 |
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Ah, that good ol' high tech solution of "just pump a bunch of electricity through it"
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Jul 13, 2018 23:42
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