Krispy Wafer posted:

Well you stumped me.

Nocheez posted:

It was actually a music pun

DarkHorse posted:

I thought it was either a basswood pun or a fishing one

Dik Hz posted:

It's really no different than an inheritance, which isn't traditionally marital property unless co-mingled.

It is a gift from my partner's parents to my partner. They retain zero ownership of the house. It's almost exactly like if my partner's parents had given them the money before we got married.

quote:

I had to go with separate accounts from my wife after only a few years of marriage. She was spending money because she saw it was "in the account," but it was already spoken for. (Think having $2000 in the account on the 25th of the month, her spending $500 of it, and not having the $1700 for the rent that's due on the 1st. That kind of thing.)

Separating the accounts literally saved our marriage. Before we did it, I would be checking the accounts multiple times a day because of the anxiety of overdrawing the account due to our differing interpretations of "available" money. I tried a few different ways of getting us on the same page regarding money that was actually available, but it wasn't working. It wasn't quite the same as your case, as there wasn't any lying or stretching of the truth, but I think the solution is the same.

To this day, we maintain separate accounts. I make more money and often move money to her, but it's always discussed beforehand so there are no surprise low balances.

It's worked very well for us.

quote:

This is her budget for an average month. It doesn't include things like the holiday season or spontaneous vacations so some months it's even more.

Rent: 550 (her half, we share an apt)

Bills (internet, utilities): 200 (her half, we split these)

Student loans: 100

Phone: 60

Car payment and gas: 300

Groceries: 200 (just hers, we shop separately)

Eating out: 400

Bars and alcohol: at least 900

Uber: 250, give or take

Toiletries, personal items, etc: 50-100

She makes about $1,700 a month. So as you can see she's over that by the end of the month. She puts the rest on credit cards. I don't know exactly how much debt she has, but it worries me.

She could technically not pay back student loans right now due to her small income (the income-based repayment plan). But she chose to make a modest payment anyway because she thought it was the responsible thing to do. I think that's a good attitude, but she doesn't seem to feel the same way about her credit card debt. To her, credit cards are extra spending money.

Lastly, I think she needs a better paying job. She agrees but drags her feet to find one. One time she said it isn't an issue since she's making do with what she has.

Our finances aren't combined as we're not married. Her management of money is something I'm growing increasingly worried about. I'm trying to help her budget, which is hard because she usually shoots down my suggestions, or has some reason why they wouldn't work.

I just think she should be able to either spend less or get a better job. Is that unreasonable? How do I get her to understand that?

TL;DR: My girlfriend puts too many expenses on credit cards and doesn't put much effort into finding a job that pays better.

StormDrain posted:

It's just odd. Marriage is a partnership and now one of the partners has a controlling financial interest in the house. It's likely that none of it matters and you'll stay together forever and it'll never come up. In some relationships though people exercise that power when it comes to decisions about the home, and it takes away the equality.

I think your partner will always has a small incentive to divorce, and you have a small one to stay together. I don't think it's large enough to be a deciding factor but it tips the scale. If assets are shared equally then you both have the same disincentive.

CmdrRiker posted:

Comment from https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/ak2pru/so_is_spending_outside_of_budget_and_im_not/:


That's cool that they figured out a solution that worked, but holy poo poo I cannot imagine marrying someone with so little budgeting capacity and willpower.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/aucut3/25m_with_25f_3_years_my_girlfriend_is_very_good/:


GWM budgeting bar expenses
BWM budgeting more for bar expenses than rent per month

Dik Hz posted:

Why would you assume they have a controlling financial interest?

Thanatosian posted:

At first, I was like "wow, how are they spending $400 a month on utilities in an $1100 a month apartment," and then I got to the eating out/bar tab/Uber bill...

SpartanIvy posted:

Not that hard if it includes cell service, TV, and internet. Not technically utilities but most people I've talked to group them together.

SpartanIvy posted:

From what I've heard from women being at bars, it's actually pretty hard to spend your own money on drinks. Spending $900 on drinks at a bar in a month as a guy sounds bwm, but spending $900 at a bar in a month as a woman sounds impossible.

axolotl farmer posted:

If you spend 900/month at bars, what are you drinking? 45 bespoke hipster cocktails or 200 cheap beers?

quote:

Without giving too much information out I recently got a new credit card with a Bank. So I went to the bank to figure out how to set an account up. While doing this I found out I already had my name in an account with an Aunt. I thought weird. In the account I had complete access to her checkings and savings which was A LOT of money. So I called her asking why this is the case. She tells me I can just remove her account info from mine. And so I did. FYI I am also a college student so I end up making an account with them (free account if I am a student).

So here's the loving up part where I'm confused. I come home (I live with my parents) and I tell them my day. My dad then gets mad. He said he asked my aunt to put my name in her account for "tax support". I have no idea what that means. I tried to look it up but it doesn't make sense to me. He says "now you lost any benefit that you can get with her account" like was I supposed to steal her money? What does tax support mean?

This is my first credit card and I THOUGHT I did everything right. Turns out no.

Any advice would be helpful. I can also answer questions

Barry posted:

Attempting to use hipster in this context as some easily understandable descriptor notwithstanding, you and I have wildly different interpretations of cheap beer.

A developing story in which a redditor may have inadvertently saved themselves from an unknown future scam:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/axip65/i_closed_off_an_account_from_a_relative_and_my/

SpelledBackwards posted:

I don't know if someone was trying a scam on me, but yesterday I got a random text from a Dallas area number (I live in Austin with an Austin area code, not that it means much these days), saying "Hi Jesse, this is Maria. Sorry for the random text! Your property at ### X St - Wanted to see if you would consider an offer on it?"

This address was also Dallas-area. I said they must have a wrong number, and today for this reply: "I apologize about that. You wouldn't happen to have a property you would consider an offer on?"

Is this a I BOUGHT EVERY HOUSE I'VE EVER SEEN thing, a scam opening like "real estate mentor seeks trainee" signs, or amateur real estate investors looking to hustle and grind? Either way I've decided not to respond to the follow-up text, as tempted as I am to blatantly say I'll grudgingly accept twice the market rate of my current house in Austin.

CmdrRiker posted:

I don't get it either.

Square Peg posted:

Well, if the aunt died wouldn't the money in the joint account skip probate? That's the only tax thing I can think of.

Dad was definitely going to murder that aunt.

Dik Hz posted:

It's really no different than an inheritance, which isn't traditionally marital property unless co-mingled.

It is a gift from my partner's parents to my partner. They retain zero ownership of the house. It's almost exactly like if my partner's parents had given them the money before we got married.

Chin Strap posted:

In regards to the bathroom posted earlier https://motherboard.vice.com/amp/en...From%20%251%24s

Risky Bisquick posted:

DTaeKim posted:

Since we're talking about scams, I received an automated call about setting up an online bank account with the Bank of Scotland. The problem is that I live in the United States. I wanted to call them and ask about it, but it requires an international call. Do I chalk this up to a mistake or should I look further into it?

Murderball posted:

I live in Australia and got a collect call from the International Drainage Commission in the states. It cost me nine hundred dollars.

Murderball posted:

I live in Australia and got a collect call from the International Drainage Commission in the states. It cost me nine hundred dollars.

DTaeKim posted:

Wasn't there a Simpsons episode about this?

Sounds like I should just ignore it then.

Murderball posted:

Eh worst case scenario is just a little kick in the bum.

Murderball posted:

I live in Australia and got a collect call from the International Drainage Commission in the states. It cost me nine hundred dollars.

Midjack posted:

Does Australia not warn you that you’re about to accept a collect call?

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

I thought Australia used the "Dollarydoo"?

Midjack posted:

Does Australia not warn you that you’re about to accept a collect call?