|
Koivunen posted:My first two weeks were awful, anxiety and baby blues wise. My baby was great, but I was an absolute mess. I didn’t get more than 45 min to 2 hours total of sleep for the first ten days because I was so anxious and couldn’t turn off my brain. I got to the point where I was crying constantly, mostly for no reason, I couldn’t think straight, and my hands were shaking. I got permission from my midwife to take a Unisom and chill out while my husband syringe fed her. I slept for three hours straight and felt like a totally new person. Slept again later that night and it was like pushing the reset button. Then I went on Zoloft and had permission to take a Xanax every now and then if I needed it. The Zoloft has helped tremendously. I honestly felt like I was going to have a complete breakdown and/or die at the two week point. Now we are five weeks in and things are going much, much better. My wife is nearly 17 months in and realizing maybe she should have spoken up more about how she was feeling. She feeling a lot better now, it thankfully never incapacitated her, and has had a ton of family support. It might have just been baby blues, but the docs didn't really actively ask about it beyond the screening questionnaire that says "ON A SCALE OF 1-5, ARE YOU GOING TO KILL YOUR BABBY?"
|
#
?
May 22, 2019 14:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 21:24 |
|
|
InsensitiveSeaBass posted:My wife is nearly 17 months in and realizing maybe she should have spoken up more about how she was feeling. She feeling a lot better now, it thankfully never incapacitated her, and has had a ton of family support. It might have just been baby blues, but the docs didn't really actively ask about it beyond the screening questionnaire that says "ON A SCALE OF 1-5, ARE YOU GOING TO KILL YOUR BABBY?" With my first I never made a big deal of how anxious I was feeling to my doctors, plus my mother’s attitudes toward medication made me try and push through my feelings even though my husband supported me going on something. With my second I went on Zoloft almost right away and the difference was night and day. I didn’t stay up for hours at night worrying about my kid dying in random horrible ways and it helped me cope with dealing with a 2 year old with special needs and a newborn much better than if I had not gotten medication.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2019 14:44
|
|
|
InsensitiveSeaBass posted:My wife is nearly 17 months in and realizing maybe she should have spoken up more about how she was feeling. She feeling a lot better now, it thankfully never incapacitated her, and has had a ton of family support. It might have just been baby blues, but the docs didn't really actively ask about it beyond the screening questionnaire that says "ON A SCALE OF 1-5, ARE YOU GOING TO KILL YOUR BABBY?" The US doesn't give a poo poo about the mother and it's scary. Case-in-point: for all our checkups in the first 6 or 9 months that they administered the PPD survey, we had to pay for it each time because insurance didn't cover the $35 bucks it cost. PPD is so dangerous because outside of the most extreme cases, it's easy to put on a happy face for 30 minutes and breeze through a short questionnaire. It can easily fly under the radar unless both partners are looking for it AND both partners are in a mental state to recognize it, which is a lot to ask for parents of newborns.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2019 14:55
|
|
|
DaveSauce posted:The US doesn't give a poo poo about the mother and it's scary. WTF?! That is so messed up. I’ve had anxiety and depression issues in the past so it’s easier for me to recognize when I need to go back on meds, but I can completely understand how a new mom can get swept under the rug, thinking what she’s going through is “normal.” Even when I was crying during my baby’s one week check up, saying I was overwhelmed, devastatingly sad, and anxious for no reason, I got a “Don’t worry, everyone feels like this, and in a few weeks you won’t even remember how miserable you are now.” My midwife, thankfully, scheduled an appointment two weeks out because she thought I might have some PPD issues, and she wanted to debrief after the somewhat traumatic birth experience I had. That’s when I went on Zoloft. I’m so grateful she’s a provider who actually cares about baby AND mom, it seems they are few and far between.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2019 16:00
|
|
|
The hospital we were at definitely cared a lot about PPD. They talked to me about it a lot. They talked to my husband about it several times while we were there telling him that he needs to be my biggest advocate, if he sees signs to get me help ASAP.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2019 16:29
|
|
|
So my first-grader got back his Iowa Assessment yesterday, blah blah blah smartest kid ever blah blah blah, and at the bottom it had his Lexile Range. Awesome, says I, I can buy him books for summer that he might find challenging! (I started reading just before I was 3; I have no idea how to find skill-appropriate books for somebody who started reading at the much-less-abnormal age of 5.) So I go to the Scholastic website... and his Lexile range turns up Step 1 Easy Readers and 3rd-grade-appropriate books on volcanoes.  Barnes and Noble has this system where you're supposed to read the first page from a book and hold up a finger for every word you don't know, and a book where you don't hold up at least 3 fingers is too easy. I am unsure any book short of, say, The Andromeda Strain is going to catch him on the first page. Any suggestions?
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 14:36
|
|
|
Sounds like a good way to kill someone's Iove of reading.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 14:48
|
|
|
marchantia posted:Thank you for all the reassuring posts. I've been following this thread for a while and thought it would keep me from being the crazy parent of a newborn. Turns out you can't prevent it! I started some anxiety meds and am starting to emerge from the hormonal fog of the first two weeks. Still wound pretty tightly but am no longer laying in bed next to the crib sobbing about SIDS at 3 in the morning. Girl, I was right there with you! I eventually was diagnosed with post-partum OCD, which explained the horrifying, visual, intrustive thoughts I was having of our baby being killed in various ways. Not cool. It is absolutely disgusting that doctors, nurses, What To Expect, parenting forums, etc don't discuss post-partum anxiety or it's fantastic spin-off, OCD. All you ever hear about is post-partum depression which is not the same at all. PSA, because #bethechange: -This is underresearched, but MH professionals are finding more and more that gestating parents develop OCD/anxiety for the first time around pregnancy and birth, because of the severity of the hormonal changes, new responsibility, lack of sleep, etc. -If you have previously experienced depression, anxiety, or OCD you are more likely to suffer a recurrence at that time for those same reasons. -Perinatal anxiety and intrusive thoughts =/= post partum psychosis. If anyone confuses it, know they are not trained in this area. -The edinburgh postnatal depression scale is a clearly flawed measure for perinatal mood disorder because it's super easy to lie on and not scaled for anxiety, which we are realizing is equally prevalent. -In one survey, 90% of respondents reported intrusive thoughts of harm coming to their babies. Obviously not a great measure statistically speaking but you can see that it's likely a common enough problem that maybe pregnant people should be warned about it?!?!?! Just saying. We're only at the drat doctor's for hours every week. -PPI (Post-Partum International) is a fantastic resource with free online support groups and counselors. They are woke to perinatal mood disorders and well-trained. Woof! Okay, that's all. Best vibes to you in your continued recovery, and to all the peri/post birth folks out there. You're not alone <3
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 14:54
|
|
|
DaveSauce posted:The US doesn't give a poo poo about the mother and it's scary. I'm so pissed for you that you had to actually pay for that piece of crap survey. Do better, medical-industrial complex. I suppose it's too much to ask that we be allowed to have enough face time with doctors/choice in our practitioners that we would develop a rapport, and therefore, actually speak to them about MH issues.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 14:59
|
|
|
DangerZoneDelux posted:Sounds like a good way to kill someone's Iove of reading. I know, right? "Please don't get absorbed in the text; instead, make sure you'll need to ask Mom what a word is at least once a page if not four or five times a page," sounds exhausting. If he liked Star Wars I'd just hand him my stack of Rogue Squadron novels, because that'd guarantee a word he doesn't recognize (they'd all be weird Extended Universe smeerps, but hey). Unfortunately he likes Minecraft, and all the Minecraft books I see on Amazon look absolutely terrible, especially the ones where you can read the first two or three pages. (If the grammar and sentence structure would have me hitting the back button on fanfic, I'm not paying actual money for it.)
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 15:10
|
|
|
Maybe just take the kid to the library and let him wander the children's section to pick out what he wants? Let him get a whole stack of anything that looks remotely good, then see what is actually interesting once he starts reading. Then you can narrow in from there on the next trip. Drawing from personal experience: at that age I think I was big into Choose Your Own Adventure books. My mom made a deal with me that I would alternate between reading those and "real" books, ie anything with chapter breaks. She didn't care what, as long as I picked something out and liked it. That was enough to wean me off the CYOA and onto what would have been called the YA section if there was a term for it yet. Later on she got me some surplus middle/high school textbooks that were illustrated collections of short stories like The Most Dangerous Game and The Pearl. Those were good because they had footnotes for complicated vocabulary.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 15:25
|
|
|
zingiber posted:Girl, I was right there with you! I eventually was diagnosed with post-partum OCD, which explained the horrifying, visual, intrustive thoughts I was having of our baby being killed in various ways. Not cool. It is absolutely disgusting that doctors, nurses, What To Expect, parenting forums, etc don't discuss post-partum anxiety or it's fantastic spin-off, OCD. All you ever hear about is post-partum depression which is not the same at all. This is an excellent post, thank you! Going to check out PPI.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 16:25
|
|
|
zonohedron posted:Any suggestions? Go to the library and let him choose whatever he wants and try not to police it too much? Who cares what he's reading as long as he's reading! Bonus: You get to teach him how to use the catalog system. As far as post partum thoughts. I had this REALLY bad with my first one: https://www.cnn.com/2013/03/01/living/motherhood-violent-thoughts-nightmares/
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 18:29
|
|
|
zonohedron posted:Any suggestions? My 11-year old has been years ahead in reading comprehension since he started 1st grade. We tried to just let him go wild at the library, but the problem has been that the books he wanted to read often scared/confused him because his emotional maturity lagged so far behind his reading level. So if your kid is like mine, get ready to read lots of lovely kid books to figure out which ones he can handle! For actual book recommendations, i seem to remember that he loved reading the threehouse books by andy griffiths at that age.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 20:52
|
|
|
Our pediatrician gave us some Alimentum samples for our 4 month old because he wouldn't stop spitting up since the day he was born. We're only one day in but it's already worked wonders and we've had a happy baby with no vomiting so I have a feeling we're going to stay on it. We've had the best results out of the 4 formulas we've tried so far. I'm not really happy considering how loving expensive the stuff is. So does anyone have experience with buying Alimentum and the cheapest way to get your hands on it? I haven't shopped around locally for it yet, but in the past Amazon prices have been just as good as everything else and it's...disgustingly expensive on there.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2019 12:22
|
|
|
Renegret posted:
I've posted before, but my baby is on Nutramigen which is the same thing but a different brand. I do Amazon subscribe and save to buy it (and an extra 4 other things a month to get the extra discount) Its the cheapest I've been able to get it. Now that he's eating more food, he's slowly lessening how much formula he needs but at his peak he was going through 8 - 9 large cans a month. It's been a huge pain to find baby-friendly foods when you don't have the time / aren't in the mood to steam something. Thank god he likes/isn't allergic to peanut butter.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2019 13:22
|
|
|
With a baby due in June, my son who will be three, and a new three year old foster daughter moving quickly towards permanent guardianship, I'll be scaling back my work week to just Saturday and Sunday to act as primary caregiver to our brood. Being the father of a single toddler was, while not easy, quite manageable. My question is how do you do anything with two kids under four and an infant by myself? I can't imagine even the logistics of taking a walk to the park, but I refuse to shut myself up inside the house. Wagons? Strollers? Just drive the car to the playground and hope they don't run in opposite directions?
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2019 19:08
|
|
|
Renegret posted:Our pediatrician gave us some Alimentum samples for our 4 month old because he wouldn't stop spitting up since the day he was born. We're only one day in but it's already worked wonders and we've had a happy baby with no vomiting so I have a feeling we're going to stay on it. We've had the best results out of the 4 formulas we've tried so far. Allegedly you can see if your dr will write you a prescription for hypoallergenic formulas like Alimentum and some insurances will cover it. Allegedly. Zosologist posted:My question is how do you do anything with two kids under four and an infant by myself? I can't imagine even the logistics of taking a walk to the park, but I refuse to shut myself up inside the house. My kids will be 5 and 1 in a few months, but I think with 2 older kids you'd definitely need the ability to be mobile on the fly. For me, that was baby wearing. All hail the lillebaby! We went to an indoor playground today and I was able to keep an eye on her, keep my hands free, and he took a 45 minute nap in that bad boy. I think a sit and stand/double stroller or wagon for the big kids + baby wearing would probably be ideal.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2019 23:29
|
|
|
Zosologist posted:With a baby due in June, my son who will be three, and a new three year old foster daughter moving quickly towards permanent guardianship, I'll be scaling back my work week to just Saturday and Sunday to act as primary caregiver to our brood. Being the father of a single toddler was, while not easy, quite manageable. Find a fenced-in playground, let them scatter, and float between them?
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 00:38
|
|
|
Renegret posted:Our pediatrician gave us some Alimentum samples for our 4 month old because he wouldn't stop spitting up since the day he was born. We're only one day in but it's already worked wonders and we've had a happy baby with no vomiting so I have a feeling we're going to stay on it. We've had the best results out of the 4 formulas we've tried so far. For everyone formula feeding, make sure to sign up with any manufacturer's baby clubs. We used Similac and every few weeks they'd mail us manufacturer's coupons for $5, $10 or $15, and sometimes premium samples (a mini tin of powder formula, bottles of premix). Probably saved us over a hundred during our year of formula.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 00:52
|
|
|
Schadenboner posted:Find a fenced-in playground, let them scatter, and float between them? Probably will do this. 1up posted:
Turns out as a foster parent we get a free family membership to both the Seattle science center and the Tacoma children's museum. Indoor play areas are definitely in our future and will be a blessed relief from the winter rains (and summer heat, cursed sun.) Definitely plan on wearing the little one and I'm eyeballing something like this, over a double stroller but I'm wide open to suggestions. Radio Flyer Deluxe All-Terrain Family Wagon Ride On, Red https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C60O7N2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_1qY6CbXR8KEAX
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 00:55
|
|
|
With my 4 year old and 2 year old we use the hell out of a Double Bob stroller. It has a ton of storage and is easy to push. Works as a hub when we hit up the zoo or museum since my kids can get in and out on their own. I could see that working if you are wearing a third kid. In a year you could probably get away with having one kid hang off the front. I have 3 kids in the stroller and it was heavy but worked fine. I'm too tall for a wagon and those things will murder your arms eventually
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 01:05
|
|
|
Zosologist posted:Radio Flyer Deluxe All-Terrain Family Wagon Ride On, Red https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C60O7N2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_1qY6CbXR8KEAX Air tires? Prepare for having a flat at the worst possible moment.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 10:01
|
|
|
I got a similar wagon (same brand, but without the air tires) because I knew my kids would outgrow a stroller eventually, and I liked the seat belt to keep smaller kids in. Even before they got big, the wagon was horrible on my shoulders - even the tiniest hill I'd end up holding the handle with both hands behind my back.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 14:17
|
|
|
I think we are on the road to ear tubes. My 7 month old has bilateral ear infection. This is the second time. First time we caught it very early on and was only one ear when she was 4 months. My husband had chronic ear infections as a child and had tubes in, so it doesn’t worry me. But ugh it’s hard to take care of a baby with an ear infection. I sucked out the biggest, nastiest, smelliest glob of mucus this morning. I know she felt better after that one. The worst part was the 24 hour fever. That bastard kept creeping back up every 5.5 hours, just as Motrin was wearing off. At least now she’s used to the antibiotics and takes them really well. Edit: I’m really happy with the children’s urgent care here (we just moved and I was worried they wouldn’t be as good as the other). We went in after calling our pediatrician on Saturday and he listened to us and also felt like it was an ear infection even though the signs were not really there. Urgent care nurses didn’t think it was an ear infection but listened to our concerns and checked her ears. There’s so much relief in finding good child care, because I still can’t find a primary care doctor for myself that actually listens to me about me 
Sarah fucked around with this message at 20:02 on May 27, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 19:56
|
|
|
Is there any baby food that comes in glass jars but isn't organic?
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 23:13
|
|
|
I think beechnut comes in glass jars, both organic and regular.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2019 23:47
|
|
|
Speaking of baby food: my six month old is avidly watching us eat, and is very enthused about putting the spoon in his mouth BY HIMSELF (gets stroppy if he can't 'drive' and I can almost hear the "I DO IT MYSELF") but is still spitting out baby food on the regular. It's not a tongue thrust, he'll take food into his mouth, swirl it round then spit it out. I try him at least once per day on solids and have tried a variety of different vegies, but he seems pretty happy with the status quo of spoon in mouth and food on clothes. I gather this is pretty common, but anyone got any tips?
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 00:24
|
|
|
Tamarillo posted:Speaking of baby food: my six month old is avidly watching us eat, and is very enthused about putting the spoon in his mouth BY HIMSELF (gets stroppy if he can't 'drive' and I can almost hear the "I DO IT MYSELF") but is still spitting out baby food on the regular. It's not a tongue thrust, he'll take food into his mouth, swirl it round then spit it out. I try him at least once per day on solids and have tried a variety of different vegies, but he seems pretty happy with the status quo of spoon in mouth and food on clothes. I gather this is pretty common, but anyone got any tips? That sounds about right. It's just something you do every day and eventually more food gets swallowed than on clothing.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 01:16
|
|
|
Our kid is just seven months old and barely comprehends swallowing food. We’ve been moving though and are still waiting on most of our furniture to arrive so we haven’t been as diligent in feeding him solids every day. Luckily we packed the jumperoo or we’d be soooo hosed.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 01:54
|
|
|
Tamarillo posted:Speaking of baby food: my six month old is avidly watching us eat, and is very enthused about putting the spoon in his mouth BY HIMSELF (gets stroppy if he can't 'drive' and I can almost hear the "I DO IT MYSELF") but is still spitting out baby food on the regular. It's not a tongue thrust, he'll take food into his mouth, swirl it round then spit it out. I try him at least once per day on solids and have tried a variety of different vegies, but he seems pretty happy with the status quo of spoon in mouth and food on clothes. I gather this is pretty common, but anyone got any tips? We feed baby in just a diaper most of the time because so much more food ends up ON him than in him. Sounds like your baby would enjoy baby-led weaning. Touching food, bringing it to mouth, exploring texture, etc. are all big parts of learning to eat so I haven’t been too worried that he’s barely swallowing anything. He’ll take bites, move food around his mouth for a while and then spit it out. It’s fun to watch but omg the mess.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 02:25
|
|
|
We still mostly feed our 16.5mo old in just the nappy. Also, bath time directly follows dinner time. I'll pick her up from the chair and take her straight to the prerun bath.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 02:55
|
|
|
I have a ton of little kids, and my best advice is to get out all the time. The more they learn things like "all hands on the stroller" and "hold hands crossing the street" and you are consistent with that stuff, they do it instinctively. Even if you are just walking up and down the block for fresh air, be consistent and clear. I only had the littlest one in the stroller, everyone else walked. Once those things are in place, it makes going anywhere much much easier.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 09:52
|
|
|
Tamarillo posted:Speaking of baby food: my six month old is avidly watching us eat, and is very enthused about putting the spoon in his mouth BY HIMSELF (gets stroppy if he can't 'drive' and I can almost hear the "I DO IT MYSELF") but is still spitting out baby food on the regular. It's not a tongue thrust, he'll take food into his mouth, swirl it round then spit it out. I try him at least once per day on solids and have tried a variety of different vegies, but he seems pretty happy with the status quo of spoon in mouth and food on clothes. I gather this is pretty common, but anyone got any tips? Yeah at six months that's pretty much par for the course. They take to it eventually. It takes time to get the tongue gymnastics right, chewing instead of suckling. Keep at it! If you don't practice now, it's not going to get easier later.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 12:41
|
|
|
Spadoink posted:For everyone formula feeding, make sure to sign up with any manufacturer's baby clubs. We used Similac and every few weeks they'd mail us manufacturer's coupons for $5, $10 or $15, and sometimes premium samples (a mini tin of powder formula, bottles of premix). Probably saved us over a hundred during our year of formula. We bought one tub of powder for when the samples the doctor gave us ran out. Not only did I sign up for those rewards, but so did my in-laws, and they're funneling all those sweet coupons to us. Target also let us combine that $15 check with a manufacture coupon, so it wasn't TOO bad. 1up posted:Allegedly you can see if your dr will write you a prescription for hypoallergenic formulas like Alimentum and some insurances will cover it. Allegedly. We're idiots who waited to try the Alimentum until our doctor went on vacation. Luckily a friend is a different pediatrician in the same office, and she said that they have fighting insurance down to a science. So once our doctor comes back from vacation this week, we'll give her a call and start the ball rolling. Otherwise, I guess I'll go the subscribe from amazon route and pick up as much overtime as possible. Dear god Alimentum smells terrible though. I took a sniff of the powder and gagged. Now that smell is coming from the little one's pores and he just always smells terrible no matter how much we bathe him. My wife took a taste and she says it tastes as bad as it smells. It's clear the baby doesn't like it either, but the tide of vomit stopped instantly so he's stuck with it.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 12:48
|
|
|
Our 3.5-year-old's nighttime diapers' sticky tabs often break during the night, resulting in accidents. How can we prevent that from happening?
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 13:03
|
|
|
Renegret posted:
If its anything like Nutramigen, I settled on it smelling like soggy, old cheez-its. The milk protein is pre-broken down so it doesn't cause an allergic reaction. That's a fancy way of saying its pre-digested. 
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 13:14
|
|
|
Sarah posted:I think we are on the road to ear tubes. My 7 month old has bilateral ear infection. This is the second time. First time we caught it very early on and was only one ear when she was 4 months. Hell,  for all of that.My 11 m.o has had 4 since last October, but luckily his don't come with a fever, just being a grump, face full of snot/postnasal drip, and sleeping like (extra) crap. They do come with simultaneous eye/sinus infections though, so he's been progressively stepped up to Augmentin (twice), then Rocephin injections (twice, once for an infection that lingered even after the Augmentin) since a) he hates hates hates the chalky oral solution and b) unbelievable diarrhea and subsequent yeast infections during the long oral Abx courses. Going in today because I suspect we're about to get punch number 5 in his card which entitles us to a free ENT referral for tubes 
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 13:31
|
|
|
E-Money posted:We also had great success with the happiest toddler on the block book. This post stuck in my head and I've started reading Happiest Toddler on the Block by Karp. I'm only a few chapters in, but I'm having a bit of trouble relating to the Fast Food Rule (where you state an upset person's point of upset back to them, reflecting but slightly dialing down their emotion, to acknowledge and calm them). All the examples in the part of the book where it's introduced appear to relate to adults. I'm having a hard time yet seeing how I actually do it with a toddler (16mo old). I give you that it might become more obvious as I go through the book, but please can someone post a few examples of situations where you've used it with toddlers?
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 17:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 21:24 |
|
|
Ok, I've written this 5 times now. I think I've paired down my worries to him eating. The rest of his issues are my fault for not working with him more.  Go go failure as a parent feelings. How in hell do you get a 3 year old to eat something other than Mac n Cheese, Cheese rollups, Chicken Nuggets, and candy? I know he won't let himself starve but even if we fix what he's asking for, sometimes he just eats 1 or 2 bites and gets distracted by anything else. I wouldn't worry as much if he ate some veggies that he used to love or, well, anything else but here I am. Having a 3 year old is rough. Somehow more rough than when he was a newborn\infant.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 17:20
|
|
