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Leng posted:Take it as an opportunity to engage with random strangers! Babies are the greatest ice breaker ever. Chances are if you explain that she's happy because XYZ they'll relate their own tales. Or if you're too shy for that, engage in some public baby talking, e.g. "oh yes, that's a shiny red car, isn't that exciting?" Thanks and everyone else. I think we are just self conscious about it. The main thing is she’s happy and really unless it’s really the wrong time and place- people probably don’t care and who cares if they do  Thanks everyone
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Jun 24, 2019 09:24
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I have learned that my son apparently cannot be trusted to brush his own hair. Puberty has made his thick straight hair into thick curly hair. Super curly, like when it is wet and straightens out it's almost to his shoulders, and up by his ears when dry. I rang up my brother who has the whitest of white boy fros, to get some tips on curly hair care, and we started the new regimen last night. Anyway, this led me to discover, while blow drying his hair, that he apparently was not aware that you have to brush everything. Not just what you see in the mirror. And was working on a mat on the back of his head, hiding under his top layer of hair. That was fun to work out. AngryRobotsInc fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Jun 24, 2019 |
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Jun 24, 2019 13:51
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AngryRobotsInc posted:I have learned that my son apparently cannot be trusted to brush his own hair. Puberty has made his thick straight hair into thick curly hair. Super curly, like when it is wet and straightens out it's almost to his shoulders, and up by his ears when dry. I rang up my brother who has the whitest of white boy fros, to get some tips on curly hair care, and we started the new regimen last night. I have the thickest, curliest white boy fro. I really struggled to take care of it as a teenager so I can speak from experience. Obviously everyone's different, but I know what's worked for me. Full disclosure, we probably have very different hair, because my hair doesn't grow down to my shoulders. As it gets longer my fro gets bigger and taller, until my hair is getting caught in low hanging ceilings and I chop it off. I never blew out or brushed my hair, because all that does is make it frizzy and ugly. The end goal is to rock those tight curls that makes all the girls and boys jealous. A brush will ruin that and turns my head into a giant goofy looking puff ball. I have no idea why his hair is matting so badly since I've never had that problem. If I have to guess, he needs to use a lot more conditioner. I usually end up going through more conditioner than my wife, and make sure I work it through my fingers in the shower until I'm completely knot free. As soon as I get out, I put some sort of product in to stop it from getting frizzy while it's still wet. Usually some weak gel, or pomade. Right now I use hair moisturizer from Lush because it makes my hair super soft and I smell like roses. The moisturizer doesn't have any hold though, so I'll usually combine it with something else if I need it to last throughout the day. No towel drying. I go straight from the shower, to adding product, to shaping. Normally I'll shape it by pulling it back with my fingertips and let it naturally fall into place somewhere on the top of my head. The curls will naturally find their place as it dries. On that topic, it's also a good time for him to learn to get the gently caress over himself about being embarrassed about doing things usually meant for girls. He's got hair that women around the world would kill for, but that means he should follow a woman's care regime. Get a hair cut at a beauty salon if you can't find a good barber, condition, and use plenty of product. Use the girly hair care products if you need to. He'll be the only boy in his class who knows what conditioner is, because for some baffling reason so many men don't bother with it. As a teen, I had a big problem with taking care of my hair properly for that reason. I needed to go to a hair salon to get it cut, but I was too embarrassed to be seen in there, so I wouldn't go often enough Lastly, it's really, really important that he doesn't play with or touch his hair throughout the day. That's what will cause it to frizz up, become uneven, or knotted. This is the hardest part, because everyone will want to touch it. Renegret fucked around with this message at 17:41 on Jun 24, 2019 |
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Jun 24, 2019 17:35
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Renegret posted:A bunch of good stuff. Not a guy, but seconding all of this. My hair is super fine but curly, so pretty different, and figuring out conditioner, not using shampoo all the time, product, etc has made a world of difference. You might also find the r/curlyhair subreddit useful; it's not all women, so he can see other dudes taking care of their curls, and has excellent advice. There's no one size fits all to it.
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Jun 24, 2019 17:51
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Re: traveling. We just got back from a three day wedding weekend with our two month old, and while it was fun, it was hellish at the same time. She is right in the middle of her 8-9 week developmental leap so that made things extra challenging. The drive was about 200 miles one way. The first day was a river boat cruise, and it was way too stimulating for her, but there was nowhere quiet to take her because we were on a boat in the middle of a river... My husband was best man so we were at the venue the next day way early for set up and photos, and she actually did really well for the entire day and night, including the reception which went until midnight. She needed constant holding, rocking, and bouncing to maintain her chill, but we made it all day with no crying or fussing. When we got back to the hotel, however, she was DONE and we had to stand by the sink with the water running for almost an hour before she calmed down enough to nurse. Sunday was brunch, then we took her to meet her great grandma, and she lasted about 20 minutes before she was done with that, then we drove the 200 miles back. We are supposed to travel again in a couple weeks, but we are going to limit it to an overnight trip for the sake of everyone’s sanity. Regarding packing, we over packed for her and ended up forgetting some stuff for us, like phone chargers and clothes for the cold nights. I brought my breast pump but only used it once when I was uncomfortably full because she wasn’t nursing as well as at home. I could have used more burp rags but we made do. We tried to keep up with her nap schedule but it was not possible with all the stuff going on. The next time we travel we are definitely going to prioritize nap times for her, even if it means missing out on some stuff.
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Jun 24, 2019 18:32
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Thanks for the advice on curly hair, Renegret and small bird pudding. It's been a learning process for all of us, since the only person I know well enough to go "Give me all the deets", with hair even remotely like his is my brother, so I've never really had to know proper care for curly hair. I did manage to convince him to use a sleep cap, which has already shown a big improvement on his hair just from that. As to the matting, that's just the texture of his hair he inherited from my side of the family. My hair is only wavy, but it tries to mat up too if I neglect it even the tiniest bit.
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Jun 24, 2019 19:39
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Parents with pop culture interests, did you ever buy (or be gifted) niche children's products? I mean things like Star Wars baby board books and D&D monster manual alphabet primers, stuff a kid is too young for and is clearly aimed at the adults doing the buying. How did they go over? I figure a young enough kid probably doesn't care or understand what they're reading and it might make things more fun for the parent, but at some point there's got to be some backlash along the lines of "stop trying to make me the same kind of nerd you are".
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Jun 25, 2019 17:46
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I haven’t received anything like those and I’m glad. The ones I’ve seen in stores are pretty cringey- we’d rather hold off on media tie-ins/money grabs for as long as possible and offer the pop culture things we like when they’re age appropriate. Judging by the number of these products out there, though, this may not be the more popular opinion.
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Jun 25, 2019 18:04
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My baby has several spiderman clothing items. My older kid loves spiderman and picked them out for him! Some of that could be for similar stuff. I'd rather see pop culture wear and items than the stuff that sexualizes babies.
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Jun 25, 2019 18:52
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We love our ABC-3PO, Obi-123, and Goodnight Darth Vader books, and have been reading them since kid was about 1. At that age, he didn't care much what the content of what we were reading to him was, but he still requested ABC-3PO ad nauseum for awhile. Maybe he just liked the rhyming. Anyway, it does make it more fun for us. I think we were gifted the Goodnight Darth Vader and we bought the other two. We were also gifted the Star Trek Book of Opposites (2 of them! people know what we like). That said, we also got married dressed as Star Trek characters, and named the kid after a sci fi show, so our opinions may not be typical. I do agree the overly-gendered clothes and toys bother me way more than the media tie-ins, though we try to avoid both.
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Jun 25, 2019 19:19
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Dr. Chaco posted:I do agree the overly-gendered clothes and toys bother me way more than the media tie-ins, though we try to avoid both. I didn't mean that. I meant this: https://medium.com/@jessokfine/please-stop-sexualizing-infants-5dbf356c8dcd
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Jun 25, 2019 20:14
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My daughter has figured out that I leave for work very early in the morning. So she is now preemptively waking up right before I leave for work to scream "Mommy no go to work" and "I go to work with Mommy" interchangeably. I just left my husband holding a sobbing child staring out the window watching me leave.  On the upside it looks like she's making some sort of break through in settling at daycare. Mornings are the worst. 
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Jun 25, 2019 21:53
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Leng posted:My daughter has figured out that I leave for work very early in the morning. So she is now preemptively waking up right before I leave for work to scream "Mommy no go to work" and "I go to work with Mommy" interchangeably. I don't know what would is worse... the heartbreak of ^^^ or like 2.5 year old, when I take him to see his mom who's on bed rest @ the hospital with our second  has almost no interest in seeing her. We get there and its 4-5 mins before he says "walk, walk" and starts to go for the door
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Jun 25, 2019 21:58
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wizzardstaff posted:Parents with pop culture interests, did you ever buy (or be gifted) niche children's products? I mean things like Star Wars baby board books and D&D monster manual alphabet primers, stuff a kid is too young for and is clearly aimed at the adults doing the buying. How did they go over? I pretty much immediately bought my son a "Sith Happens" onesie when I saw it. He also had some Transformers clothing that I can recall, and other stuff I've long forgotten. He didn't give a poo poo what he was wearing obviously, so that was solely for us, really. He's as big a nerd as we are now, so he picks that stuff out himself by this point. We didn't push the nerd stuff on him, but living in a household where both parents play Pokemon, video games are a frequent thing going on, and large portions of bookshelves are taken up by graphic novels, fantasy and sci fi novels, and action figures from a variety of IPs, it was either give in to the nerdery or rebel by being the jockiest jock to ever jock, I suppose.
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Jun 26, 2019 00:26
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Leng posted:I just left my husband holding a sobbing child staring out the window watching me leave. These moments are best dealt with quickly and matter of factly. Get all your stuff on and bag packed, give your daughter a hug and kiss and tell her you'll be back a 4:30 or whenever (better still, a relative time, like just before dinner). Then big smiles (fake it) and swiftly out of the door like everything is fine. For your own sake, get a camera you can see when you're at work so you can have quick peek every now and then. A cheap one is fine, because you'll find yourself less inclined to check as time passes. I did. Also, ask your other half to send some pictures and video throughout the day.
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Jun 26, 2019 03:22
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Heners_UK posted:These moments are best dealt with quickly and matter of factly. Get all your stuff on and bag packed, give your daughter a hug and kiss and tell her you'll be back a 4:30 or whenever (better still, a relative time, like just before dinner). Then big smiles (fake it) and swiftly out of the door like everything is fine. Speaking of camera's, I just bought myself a Wyze camera off amazon.ca for $40. Very very nice camera for that price range. Can use it any mobile anywhere, and the quality is awesome for night & day. https://www.amazon.ca/Wyze-Wireless-Camera-Android-Version/dp/B076H3SRXG/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=wyze&qid=1561558342&s=gateway&sr=8-3 Anyone have any experience dealing with complete placenta previa? It's pretty scary not knowing day after day if poo poo's going to go down. She's an hour away at the hospital for minimum 4 weeks and I'm home with our first.. toughhh stuff.. some emotional roller coasters going on
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Jun 26, 2019 15:13
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We got a Wansview camera just for vacation so when ours was down for the night we could check on our phones. It will drain the phone battery keeping the app open, but we rely mostly on the audio these days anyway, and the app will give motion detection notifications. It worked okay in Mexico, but the wifi was poo poo. I don't have internet at home, so we can't use the camera at home for now since it requires a login just to access the camera, and it has to have internet to work. There is another Wansview camera (or a few, actually) that don't have internet requirements if you just want to ad-hoc the network and run it off a router that isn't connected to the internet. Of course, my wife heard people could hack into wifi cameras and refused to get one for awhile. Why people would be hacking into wifi cameras monitoring sleeping babies is beyond my comprehension, but I am hoping to move to something other than vtech, which barely ranges across the house, so internal wifi is the best option imho.
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Jun 26, 2019 17:23
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life is killing me posted:Of course, my wife heard people could hack into wifi cameras and refused to get one for awhile. For what it's worth (sample size of me), every story I've read around people "hacking" WiFi cameras boils down to the owner not changing the default admin password on the camera.
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Jun 26, 2019 20:43
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Wife and I made the executive decision to not make the cameras accessible to us outside the house. Not sure if it was the right one, but it’s one less thing to cause stress, I guess.Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Soap, water, and a bottle brush? bomb posted:Twins are here a couple of weeks early so lots of time in the NICU while wife pumps and heals from csect at home. gvibes fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Jun 27, 2019 |
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Jun 27, 2019 01:59
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Yeah, we also went cheap IP camera for baby monitor and just blocked it from routing out to the internet. We just connect over RTSP from our phones to check on the kiddo.
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Jun 28, 2019 13:55
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I'm trusting Xiaomi's Yi Home camera. Tiny and easy to put on a bookshelf, explicit device to account pairing, but internet dependent.
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Jun 28, 2019 14:28
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What's the thread's opinion on a good age to start reading The Hobbit with/to the kiddo?
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Jun 28, 2019 18:49
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The Fool posted:What's the thread's opinion on a good age to start reading The Hobbit with/to the kiddo? Anecdotally, I remember my mom reading it as good-night story to me and my brother when I was about 5 or 6, and him three years older. I think he enjoyed it more, I think I slept through most of it.
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Jun 28, 2019 20:56
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The Fool posted:What's the thread's opinion on a good age to start reading The Hobbit with/to the kiddo? Do you want the kid to remember it? If so, I'd probably say 4-5ish. I was probably 3 when my dad read it to me, but I don't remember that; I only know because he told me. Personally, I was in such a hurry to re-read it myself, I read it to my guy when he was about 4 months old as his bed time story. And now have moved on to the trilogy. He will hear it a second time around elementary school.
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Jun 28, 2019 22:07
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We've finally managed to get our 8 1/2 month old boy to consistently fall asleep fairly quickly in his carriage, so the next step is for him to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time. Does anyone have any good ideas for that? It doesn't really matter if we walk for the full 30 minutes or set the carriage somewhere after he falls asleep, but the lack of alone time is taking a toll on my girlfriend when she's alone with him all day.
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Jun 29, 2019 08:03
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Boz0r posted:We've finally managed to get our 8 1/2 month old boy to consistently fall asleep fairly quickly in his carriage, so the next step is for him to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time. Does anyone have any good ideas for that? Why the carriage and not a crib?
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Jun 29, 2019 12:54
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Boz0r posted:We've finally managed to get our 8 1/2 month old boy to consistently fall asleep fairly quickly in his carriage, so the next step is for him to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time. Does anyone have any good ideas for that? Ok so for clarification this is night sleep right? Is he literally just sleeping in a carriage at night and only for 30 min each time? Because that’s brutal as hell if true. See his pediatrician maybe? Because that seems too old to be having sleep problems quite like that. But as to ideas, maybe try white noise? Even my rear end sleeps with white noise. Is there anyone she can get to watch him during the day so she can get some recharge time? I work, but have been the parent who has stayed home with our son the most while my wife works a regular 9-5, and that’s exhausting. A kid sleeping 30 minutes at a time and not in a crib at that can take a toll too, so it is important she (and y’all, together also) gets that alone time even if it is just 30 min to an hour. A smaller amount of time makes a difference.
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Jun 29, 2019 13:39
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Sorry, it's naps during the day. We'd probably be dead if it was nights. We have someone over occasionally, but he gets pretty grumpy around other people, so they don't feel comfortable taking care of him for longer periods. Edit: we prefer the carriage during day so we can get people to walk him. Boz0r fucked around with this message at 14:10 on Jun 29, 2019 |
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Jun 29, 2019 14:04
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Boz0r posted:Sorry, it's naps during the day. We'd probably be dead if it was nights. We have someone over occasionally, but he gets pretty grumpy around other people, so they don't feel comfortable taking care of him for longer periods. Oh, gotcha. Unfortunately it seems that is fairly common—my son also only took 30min naps with the occasional loooong one. It would take me longer than that just to get him to sleep. He still mostly does only 30-45min. They will only sleep as long as they will sleep, but as long as he’s getting enough at night, it might be fine.
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Jun 29, 2019 14:40
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Boz0r posted:Sorry, it's naps during the day. We'd probably be dead if it was nights. We have someone over occasionally, but he gets pretty grumpy around other people, so they don't feel comfortable taking care of him for longer periods. My 8mo will only nap 30 minutes at a time in the stroller or car, but will sleep over an hour in his crib. You might prefer the stroller for walking/convenience but it’s not the best sleep environment for him. I’d try his crib in a dark room with a sound machine and a quick predictable routine (a song, sleep sack). Also watch wake windows so he’s not over or under tired. About 3-3.5 hours since the last nap.
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Jun 29, 2019 19:31
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Hi_Bears posted:My 8mo will only nap 30 minutes at a time in the stroller or car, but will sleep over an hour in his crib. Same. 7mo here, napped 1.5h in her crib on Friday, averages maybe 45 mins. Pushchair gets 20-30 minutes, max. She does fall asleep more reliably in the pushchair though, as long as the environment is not too exciting. I have a relative whose kid would sleep better in her pram outdoors than in a bed inside, but every kid is different I guess. Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Jun 29, 2019 |
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Jun 29, 2019 22:04
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How do you get a boundary-pushing toddler to understand when she's crossed the line? For example, the last couple of times we've gone to the pool, she doesn't want to leave when it's time (alerts are given). So while I'm trying to get her and myself dried off, she keeps heading back off towards the pool. I've told her that it's too dangerous in an increasingly forceful voice, but that doesn't work - she just keeps laughing and trying to get back into the pool.
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Jun 29, 2019 22:56
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hooah posted:How do you get a boundary-pushing toddler to understand when she's crossed the line? For example, the last couple of times we've gone to the pool, she doesn't want to leave when it's time (alerts are given). So while I'm trying to get her and myself dried off, she keeps heading back off towards the pool. I've told her that it's too dangerous in an increasingly forceful voice, but that doesn't work - she just keeps laughing and trying to get back into the pool. She's a toddler, so the concept of "dangerous" isn't really something she's going to comprehend. I suspect part of what she's doing is enjoying the fact that you're reacting to her, and every time she escalates you do the same. In my experience (supported by research that my preschool teaching wife shared), there are two things that work well in this situation. 1. Utilize affirmative words instead of negative ones. In other words instead of saying "don't do this" say "go do this" instead. For example after she's dried off, tell her she can jump on the towel. Or encourage her to help dry you off. 2. Frame negative behavior as a "bad choice" and utilize brief time outs as a consequence. "Running away is a bad choice. If you make a bad choice you have a time out." The purpose of the time out, which should only last long enough to disrupt the behavior (a minute or so at most), is to basically "reset" things and disrupt whatever cycle is occurring. So basically you disrupt the behavior by suggesting positive things she can do, and simplify the negative behavior into a simple concept ("bad choice") with an obviously bad consequence (time out). The most difficult part about all of this is that you need to avoid reinforcing the behavior by responding emotionally to it. The more neutral your response the better.
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Jun 29, 2019 23:59
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I’m not there yet with my baby, but from what I’ve read, sleep routines should be at the same time every day and in the same place (the crib). While your kid may look asleep when walking in a stroller, it’s only superficial, and is not as deep a sleep as they would get in their crib. They are still being stimulated by sounds, smells, and sensations from being outside, and this makes their nap not as restful as it could be.
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Jun 30, 2019 01:25
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The child health nurse I saw as part of my mother’s group was all about routine, with caveats for real life. I.e. aim for day naps at home in the cot, but a sleep out and about is sleep too, so go see your friends and do errands when you need to.
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Jun 30, 2019 04:07
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A standard routine for bed helped us a lot, we use a sleep sack at 7mo and pink noise. Agreeing with the 3-3.5 hour mark between naps, however ours doesn't have an afternoon nap so that gap can be much longer sometimes and it doesn't seem to have any ill effects aside from a very sleepy boy at like 6pm. For us as he's gotten older he's much better at communicating when he's tired, hopefully you have the same experience. I can tell very easily now when the dude has had enough and it's as simple as putting him in bed with the noise on, doneski. Depending on how tired he is he'll sleep for between 30 and 90 minutes during the day. Man though one thing is for sure, if he wakes up for any reason other than naturally he wakes up pissed off.
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Jun 30, 2019 11:14
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Sort of like how you can tell by their face if they are pooping, it get easier to tell by their face they are tired.
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Jun 30, 2019 12:03
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He also only sleeps for 30 minutes in his crib in a dark room with white noise, we just tried the carriage to see if that could help and get some air once in a while. We try to follow a sleep schedule, but he's so tired in the morning that he can't stay awake for more than two hours, and he wakes up any time between 6 and 7. Edit: We have white noise in the carriage too.
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Jun 30, 2019 20:44
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Boz0r posted:He also only sleeps for 30 minutes in his crib in a dark room with white noise, we just tried the carriage to see if that could help and get some air once in a while. Pretty common for infants to only stay awake an hour or two after waking up in the morning. Mine did the same. We used to let him nap before daycare but he wouldn’t nap AT daycare so I stopped letting him nap beforehand when it was time to reduce his nap frequency—he now will nap at daycare more, but still isn’t consistent. He would consolidate his naps into one huge one most of the time and even with that, he’d come home tired and cranky because he didn’t have one in the afternoon to break it up. On the weekends though, he gets consistent naps and with stimulation from just us. He knows he CAN nap at home and he will take two naps, so it’s a good time for him to catch up. But, even at 14mo he still gets tired after an hour or two.
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Jun 30, 2019 22:15
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ours is the same regarding morning naps. he wakes up around 6, has his breakfast etc. and then between 7-8 he goes back to bed.
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Jun 30, 2019 23:36
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