|
So we tried the sleep shift last night and my wife was able to get most of a night of sleep. She’s on duty tonight so I’m going to be in sleep heaven here in a few hours. I did manage to sleep 5 or 6 hours combined. I think the biggest thing I’ve learned so far is that routine things from before the babies are still possible. You just have to want it enough and plan it out a little more. This twin multitasking is a huge dance but starting to be able to add things back in slowly has is encouraging. Twins are a difficult puzzle, having a singlet would be so much easier.
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2019 23:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 03:40 |
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:I don't know exactly what i need to hear but i know broad solutions aren't it. my spouse and i communicate fine. hearing that sleep isn't actually all that big an issue was loving phenomenal, and is probably the only thing i've read about this entire stupid endeavor that makes me the least bit relieved. Garcon! More soothing pablum and less personal critiques of my impeccable life choices. It's an obvious thing to say but I'll say it anyway: people's real lives are more nuanced than they appear on social media, including this thread. If you're seeing a lot of venting and hard times from parents here then it's selection bias at work. People are more likely to go online when things are rough and they need solutions than when everything is great and they're happy. Plus once one person makes a complaint then it reminds more people to commiserate, and then someone with a happy anecdote might choose not to post it because they don't want to appear to be gloating. But if soothing pablum is what you're after, I'll be another one to testify that my sleep schedule has not been destroyed. Despite all the horror stories and warnings I still get about as many hours of sleep as I did pre-baby, though maybe a little rearranged throughout the night. And during the day, she's a delight. All of the crying and filthiness and destruction that people assured me was coming...didn't come. The worst she does is smear mashed carrots on the carpet sometimes. It sounds like you are worried about your presence being a net negative on your child. I don't know enough about you to say that isn't true, so I won't give you empty platitudes that you'll be an awesome parent. But one thing I can tell from your posts that you care deeply about the state of the world and wish more people would share your views. To that I say that having a kid is the best chance you'll ever have to pass your ideals on to another person.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2019 23:44
|
|
|
That's a really good point. We've been doing a lot of planting lately with our three year old and he loves it. We've done wildflowers to attract bees from seeds, strawberries from plants to fruit that he ate, and transplanted lemon and lime trees from pot to pot as they grew. He gets to water them and see the progress, we've talked about pollen and pollinators, and why plenty are important. It's such a joy to share the wonder and excitement with him and teach him why it matters. We also have taught him how to recycle and he can sort paper, plastics, cans, green waste, and trash and usually put it in the right can. So neat to explain why it matters and see him get enthusiastic. Honestly, having a kid is a roller coaster in the dark. Lots of ups, lots of downs, it goes really fast, and you never know what's coming next. But you have a lot of fun and the good totally outweighs the bad. It's really hard to articulate (and empathize on the other end) the special moments where you get a hug or they say something cute, but very easy to gripe. Have you been around small kids of various ages? Infants to babies to toddlers to kids to uh later stages are vastly different. I was never a fan of the early months but once they become more interactive it got cooler, and mobility was awesome. Seeing them figure out how too stack rings or blocks was mind blowing. In a way it's good you are concerned. One thing I've told a lot of co workers expecting is that if you are worried if you are doing the right thing or a good parent you were already in the highest percentile. Focus your energy on the good stuff, endure or shrug off the bad stuff, and just keep love, learning, and happiness your motivation and you can do it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 01:00
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:i'm probably depressed in the sense that psychology has decided the reaction i'm having to THE HEAT DEATH OF ALL THINGS is depression. i'm not depressed in the sense that i stay in bed all day and cry, i'm depressed in that i'm aware that it's never, ever, ever going to be better than it is now. i don't think zoloft can fix that. I feel ya on this point. Feels like having babies in the climate crisis is ike ordering a pizza when your apartment is on fire. That said, I still did it (for a whole load of reasons) and I rate it. Also IMO the sleep deprivation complaints and toddlers being tantrum machines is totally overstated. Idk if this helps your sense of existential dread but I came across this on tumblr, in response to trying not to be depressed on a dying planet quote:- life has always been pointless. Or rather, we have always been unable to control the relative point-fulness of life. The factors involved in opening the possibilities of who can have a large scale impact where are so insanely complex that they can at best only be pieced together imperfectly in retrospect
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 01:30
|
|
|
Also this!Geisladisk posted:
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 01:33
|
|
|
Yeah, it took me a few weeks to really click with my kid (I'm her mom fwiw) but she is now such a joy in my life!! I don't post about that because it's boring and most people with kids already know the feeling. When she smiles at me or starts doing something new, it's like my heart is going to explode with warm feelings. My husband and I were worried about the change in our lifestyle and having regrets, but this kid has been such a net positive overall. Hard to explain I guess. Re: sleep, our kid is 10 weeks old and goes to bed at 8:30, I feed her before I go to bed at 10:30, she gets up to eat around 3, and usually sleeps until seven or so. I handle nighttimes solo when my husband is at work for now (soon to change - almost done with my maternity leave) and I'm not sleeping like I did before I had kids but it's not like I'm dragging rear end every day either. I get to sleep in on the weekends when my husband takes her in the morning. I'm honestly a bit emotional about handing over night feeding responsibilities to my husband when he goes on leave because I've actually grown to enjoy the quiet moments at night with my kiddo curled up half asleep in my arms as she finishes up her bottle with an episode of a show I've watched a million time on quietly in the background with the subtitles on since her white noise machine blocks out most of the noise. If you would have told pre-baby me that I wouldn't really mind being woken up for 45 minutes every night, I would have told you that you were an absolute liar. And here we are. I have more positive stories I could tell you about my idiot baby who I love very much but she just poo poo her pants while sitting on my lap and I'm genuinely happy about it since it had been a while since she crapped. I'm gonna go get her cleaned up before her bathtime. It just is what it is man! In the bath, if you brush her head just right with the little bristle thing the hospital gave us she smiles and smiles and it makes my entire night every time. Edit - just kidding. Phantom poop / extreme farts. marchantia fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Jul 21, 2019 |
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 01:51
|
|
|
Beer4TheBeerGod posted:I was thinking about the years of emotional torture and isolation that turned two siblings against each other and made one of them so starved for attention she threw herself at literally the first available man she found. It took one of them committing suicide for Elsa to realize that love is all you need. You know, the thing parents are supposed to provide for their child. It's pretty easy for the servants to keep secrets if they're dead.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 02:11
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:like the dude upthread who said he say his baby's heartbeat and now his whole world changed? I always thought I wanted to be a father. Then my wife got knocked up accidentally. The day we found out, I felt sick. I couldn't function. I stayed up all night crying, then called out of work sick the next day so I could cry some more. It took me over a week before I could function like a human being again. My wife's uterus is a toxic wasteland and we knew she'd have a hard time carrying a baby to term. I remember feeling actual disappointment the day we discovered the pregnancy was viable. Seeing his heartbeat for the first time terrified the poo poo out of me. Every day I prayed something bad would happen and she'd miscarry. I wanted that fetus to die. By some unfortunate miracle, my baby fought through that toxic wasteland and manged to thrive. The day my wife turned 37 weeks pregnant, she gave birth though a c-section. You know how people say that a man becomes a father the moment he first holds his baby? I got to hold my baby just a few minutes after he was born, even before my wife did. I felt nothing. I was numb to the whole thing. It brought me no joy whatsoever. I'd like to say that everything changed and that I love my baby unconditionally now, but I'd be lying. He turns 6 months tomorrow and the best I can say is that I wish he wasn't around about 75% of the time. But I would never dream of hurting him, and I would be absolutely destroyed if he got hurt. He may not make me happy, but he gives my life purpose, and he gives me a reason to make a better person out myself. I have a responsibility as a parent to give him the best life I could manage to scrape up and I'm too proud to ever give him anything less than perfection. These are all terrible things to say, and I feel like a terrible person vocalizing all this, but that's what I felt in my heart and I'm not embarrassed about it. What you're going through is okay. You're not alone, you're not the only one, and there's no shame in it. But I will say, that last 25% of the time? When I get home from work and he gives me a great big smile, when I find the one random thing that will make him laugh and I put him into hysterics for a half hour, when he just wakes up from a nap and stares at my face with his sleepy eyes, it's worth it. It's tough now, but life will return to normal after a while and I can go back to being a video game addicted goon. It's already gotten significantly easier. As far as the sleeping thing...eh. You get used to it. There's no magic bullet because every child is different, and more importantly, every relationship is different. You'll find something that works for you, and things will get significantly better extremely quickly. Starting at about 3 months, our baby was reliably waking up only twice during the night for feedings. I took first shift, and my wife took the second. It doesn't even bother me anymore. We make it up by my wife being responsible for putting the baby to sleep while I go to bed early, before the baby even does. Since my wife hasn't gone back to work yet, she gets to sleep as long as the baby does. Before 3 months though, that was the loving wild west. But we made do. Most of the problems we had at that point were our fault as new parents having no loving clue what we were doing. Renegret fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Jul 21, 2019 |
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 03:09
|
|
|
And hey, worst case? Divorce your wife, move out of state, become a deadbeat dad. Send your child support checks and otherwise make believe the kid doesn't exist. Plenty of people do it all the time. If that's not an option, well, why not? It means you have something good in your life that's worth holding on to. Something more important to you than a months of no sleep.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 03:18
|
|
|
The first 6 weeks after my daughter was born I got the best sleep. Husband was off and he was up all night with her while I slept. I would take her during the day while he slept. It was a little rough when he went back to work. I was still off for another 9 weeks. My sleep was interrupted at times but looking back it wasn’t so bad. She started sleeping through the night at 13 weeks old. I started a bedtime routine after reading up about infants and sleep. It was tough to keep the routine up. But it paid off. Now she’s 9 months. She goes to sleep at 7 pm and wakes up at 6:30 AM. Sometimes I’m so tired from work I go to sleep at 8:30 PM. And my alarm goes off at 7 AM. I have every opportunity to get a poo poo ton of sleep. Occasionally she will wake up in the middle of the night. A snuggle or a pacifier and she’s back out. Then so am I. FWIW my husband was really freaking out while I was pregnant. I’m not sure to what extent because he was pretty tight lipped about it and I didn’t push it. It all changed for him when he held her. There’s bad times. But man when you get that gummy smile or those little laughs .... you forget the bad stuff.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 03:39
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:If you’ve got the will to get up every morning, shower and brush your teeth at least frequently enough to keep them from rotting out your skull, you’ve got the capability to be a parent. yeah that was a concern my parter just sailed past without giving it the due i thought it was worth. wizzardstaff posted:It's an obvious thing to say but I'll say it anyway: people's real lives are more nuanced than they appear on social media, including this thread. no offense but i didn't even think to check this thread until i tried talking to the other parents i know and they made it just a thousand times worse. there was a string of 6 or so weekends where i'd spend time with my wife's excruciatingly middle class friends and they JUMPED on the opportunity to dump horror story after horror story onto me. i don't? loving? get it? so many of these parents talk as if they don't like their kids because it's unacceptable to be anything less than huffing straight bliss out of cupid's rear end, and complaining about the kids themselves is the only way they feel comfortable kvetching about parenting. (edit- i'm trying to say these parents complain about how hard it is to parent because they feel like they aren't allowed to complain about their kids directly. maybe it's vice-versa. who fuckin cares, you know the kind of assholes I'm talking about.) Renegret posted:And hey, worst case? Divorce your wife, move out of state, become a deadbeat dad. Send your child support checks and otherwise make believe the kid doesn't exist. Plenty of people do it all the time. If that's not an option, well, why not? It means you have something good in your life that's worth holding on to. Something more important to you than a months of no sleep. i could earn an order of magnitude more money overseas. like, if i had continued on my life plan before i met my wife i'd be sitting on a six figure nest egg at the VERY least. it'd probably be better on my mental health too, easier on my wife without having to deal with the kid AND me losing our poo poo constantly. But I just know, I just KNOW if I do that I'm going to get 1) eviscerated by her family for "abandoning her" 2) scorned by my community for running away 3) probably end up making a spoiled brat who kills instagram models because "daddy worked too much." I have laid out multiple explanations to my partner about how much easier this would be for her if we just moved overseas, she'd get to stay home with the kid how she likes and we wouldn't have to stress about health insurance or having our loving house burned down by nazis. I can't think about America's maternal mortality rate without getting tears in my eyes. I tried telling her that I can be a dad or an American and not both and she just refuses to compromise or even consider any other lifestyle than the one we have. So I'm probably going to try and persuade this child to study abroad as soon as that's feasible. Douche4Sale posted:Have you been around small kids of various ages? Infants to babies to toddlers to kids to uh later stages are vastly different. I was never a fan of the early months but once they become more interactive it got cooler, and mobility was awesome. Seeing them figure out how too stack rings or blocks was mind blowing. yeah, i work at summer camps and run youth writing workshops and my day job is largely just lying to children about baseball. I've got a great rapport with kids, i'm like a hairy angry Beakman who doesn't know gently caress about science. Kids have fun around me, but the entire time I'm performing I feel like I'm sweating beneath my mask. Something inside of me screams to go find a cave to sit in and eat rotten onions. I don't have any clue how I'm supposed to hold up a facade that I'm a responsible adult, a worthy role model, and a normal straight member of society, 24/7 365 for 18 years. It is EXHAUSTING. The minute I'm out of earshot after a shift I usually unleash a plague of cusses which can strip varnish off walls. I make grotesquely sexual porn. The world does not need more dudes like me.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 04:22
|
|
|
also it's bullshit that the kid gets to take up the WHOLE guest bedroom, leaving me no extra room to foster kittens in. kittens are a billion times better than babies because i can drop them and the county doesn't cram an entire hornet's nest up my rear end.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 04:53
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:also it's bullshit that the kid gets to take up the WHOLE guest bedroom, leaving me no extra room to foster kittens in. kittens are a billion times better than babies because i can drop them and the county doesn't cram an entire hornet's nest up my rear end. Well the baby is kind of just like a huge kitten ....
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 05:22
|
|
|
Kittens clean their own asses.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 05:34
|
|
|
How did y’all get back into cooking your own meals and meal prep? Ideally I’d spend an hour or two on it tomorrow so that we would have some meals ready to go. It’s been way too much takeout so far.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 06:43
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:
Lol. Every parent endures moments where they can't take anymore and have to scream, curse, yell, run around, etc. Nobody is perfect, especially parents. Your kid needs love and consistency, not perfection. They literally poo poo their pants multiple times a day (until they don't and you worry and it's all ok a few days later). If you can keep those kids entertained you'll be fine with your own. It's a ton easier and it's fun to see them emulate you with little stuff, like sleeping with an arm above your head or napping with a hand by your nose, etc.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 06:59
|
|
|
Renegret posted:I always thought I wanted to be a father. Then my wife got knocked up accidentally ... It’s great to see your honesty here. There are so many different parenthood narratives and there’s pressure to feel certain ways, but sometimes life just doesn’t work that way. I felt the connection early, but my experience of care after birth was traumatic and I had bad post partum anxiety as a result. I vividly remember thinking in the first week ‘my god, what have we done?’ That said, even in the early days of chaos, there were beautiful moments. Little cuddles in the middle of the night after a breastfeed, sewing the first smile of recognition. The good news is that it’s awesome now. It got properly good after a few months and sleep settled much faster than I was expecting, though not as fast as my MIL kept saying it should. One or two wakes a night to feed from 4 months to 9 months, then sleeping through from 10 months. PhizKhalifa - I hated the horror stories too. What is the point? I’m already terrified. People are pricks is what I took from it, and everyone wants to share their (real or imagined) misery. At 16 months, I really love parenthood now, it is amazing to see this little human running around discovering the world, developing preferences and expressing her personality. Tantrums sure, but nothing so far like what the horror stories have foretold. It’s hard and it’s different and it’s scary, but genuinely worthwhile.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 10:38
|
|
|
Yeah, I’d say I feel relief when my son is asleep for the evening, as much as I love him. I need adult time and since I’ve been facilitating my wife’s new job and I’m self-employed, I have the flexibility in my schedule to stay at home with him when he’s sick, take him to daycare every morning, sometimes pick him up when my wife can’t due to working late. After a day of being with him and all his extreme emotions, my mind is a powder keg and I need alone time (I’m an extreme introvert and generally need at least twice as much alone recharge time than time I spend socially), even from my wife sometimes. It doesn’t have as much to do with introversion and recharging as it does simply needing a break from being 100% responsible for the life of a tiny person who trusts and depends on you. But a lot of my time with my son is spent making him laugh and playing with him, I wouldn’t trade being a father for anything. You aren’t required to feel happy about it at all times, but sometimes you’ll need to mask unhappiness and annoyance for the benefit of your tiny person.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 14:40
|
|
|
I really appreciate everybody posting all this, including you phiz. My wife and i are about to start trying and my job is not going great and i'm freaked out about the future and i've just been not having a good time anticipating any of this. I'm lucky as hell in that i've got a good community of people having kids all around me right now but it's still terrifiying and it's nice to have a slight layer of distance to ask the "but seriously what if i don't bond with them for a while" questions. Also i was watching a 6 week old briefly while it's mom was taking a shower and i calmed it down while holding it and basically okay, i can do that, i can calm a baby and change diapers.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 17:09
|
|
|
Benagain posted:I really appreciate everybody posting all this, including you phiz. My wife and i are about to start trying and my job is not going great and i'm freaked out about the future and i've just been not having a good time anticipating any of this. I'm lucky as hell in that i've got a good community of people having kids all around me right now but it's still terrifiying and it's nice to have a slight layer of distance to ask the "but seriously what if i don't bond with them for a while" questions. Calming a baby and changing diapers are like 1/2 the things you need to know to be a newborn parent. Just throw food and baths in the mix and that’s everything.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2019 21:25
|
|
|
Current status: On duty night and the twins are trading off murmuring to each other and making GBS threads themselves. They are pretty loud and aren’t crying
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2019 07:58
|
|
|
bomb posted:murmuring to each other and making GBS threads themselves New thread title?
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2019 12:42
|
|
|
It finally happened, we've done a full circle of sickness. Baby got sick during a trip, gave it to his sister, who gave it to me, and I appear to have just given it back to the baby. My daughter starts kindergarten in 2 weeks. We are all going to die. 😷
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2019 18:33
|
|
|
I managed to feed both twins at the same time during feedings last night, cutting my feed times in half 
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2019 18:43
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:
For one, your perspective may change a lot once the kid actually arrives and it's a real tangible thing. I was worried about a lot of stuff (though not to the extent you are) but once it was in front of me it was just...different. edit: or maybe not, people are different. It's tough to know for sure. I didn't really feel like things were "real" until the literal kid was in my arms. Or maybe it was even after that, I don't know. As for parents complaining, well that's kind of what this thread is for, but in general it's easier to bitch than it is to gush. It's true that parenting can make you unhappier but also more fulfilled in life, it's weird as gently caress. Having a little kid that relies on you and loves you unconditionally and all of that is an amazing feeling and ca nmake you a better person. It's hard to tell other people exactly what is so awesome about having a kid because yeah the hard parts are hard and it's just easier to complain about them. But I love my kid more than anything ever and can't imagine life without him, but holy poo poo I'd also kill for a week off by myself
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2019 20:42
|
|
|
1up posted:It finally happened, we've done a full circle of sickness. Baby got sick during a trip, gave it to his sister, who gave it to me, and I appear to have just given it back to the baby. That happened with us. Baby got hand-foot-mouth on a cruise, gave it to me, and fortunately my wife somehow dodged it. I was so miserable that I stopped shaving for a month. Afterwards I kept the beard.
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2019 21:51
|
|
|
Levitate posted:It's true that parenting can make you unhappier but also more fulfilled in life, it's weird as gently caress. I read a great article about this. Some researchers had people fill in questionnaires, rating their perceived happiness over time for several decades. There was a marked dip right around when couples had their first baby. This is often reported and discussed as a Big Deal, how a baby "will make you more unhappy than a death in the family or a divorce". But, the thing not so often reported about is, the birth of their first child was preceded by the happiest period in most people's lives. Being a young couple who just got their careers started: * Have plenty of spare time * Decent amounts of money * Go on interesting vacations with a travelling partner whose company you enjoy * Have lots of sex Of course they are happy! All other phases in life kind of suck compared to that. In fact, the small-baby period was generally not less happy than going through college or being a pensioner, it was just relatively less than the period immediately preceding it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2019 23:02
|
|
|
Hi thread, long time listener, first time caller. Our little bearcub's just discovered the water faucet in the bath. She's pretty thrilled she can fill the tub with even more magical water appearing from nowhere, albeit cold water since we hold the lever all the way to the coldest possible setting so she can't scald herself. Does the thread have any recommended gadgets for locking down bathtub lever-style faucet handles? The market just seems so crammed full of crap products for this I thought I'd ask the experts on the subject. Our bathtub faucet looks like this one; https://www.diy.com/departments/arborg-1-lever-basin-mixer-tap/3663602662051_BQ.prd , in that it's just the one lever that just swings left and right for hot and cold. On the sleep thing, our little one's been sleeping much better through the night since we weaned her off the night-feeds entirely.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 00:29
|
|
|
Our 3.5-year-old suddenly started being scared at bedtime. She's been in her room for over two years, and has had a nightlight for most of that time (she went through a couple phases of not wanting it, though). What can we do to help her out with this beyond validating her feelings?
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 01:32
|
|
|
hooah posted:Our 3.5-year-old suddenly started being scared at bedtime. She's been in her room for over two years, and has had a nightlight for most of that time (she went through a couple phases of not wanting it, though). What can we do to help her out with this beyond validating her feelings? Our 3.5yo daughter went through something similar when she was around 2.5. She was starting to be afraid of the dark. We bought her a nightlight (which you already have), and spent part of her normal bedtime routine pointing out things that are in her room to remind her of what she sees in the dark. The phase lasted maybe two weeks before she stopped being scared. Talk to her and see if she can tell you what specifically is scaring her. Then you can use that to help her out better (e.g. reminding her where you are when you leave her room if she's afraid of you leaving; showing her things in her room and how they change in the light / dark if she's afraid of the dark; fending off monsters in the closet if that's what is scaring her; etc.). Like most things, it's probably a phase that she'll grow out of (hopefully quickly).
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 02:21
|
|
|
Good-Natured Filth posted:Our 3.5yo daughter went through something similar when she was around 2.5. She was starting to be afraid of the dark. We bought her a nightlight (which you already have), and spent part of her normal bedtime routine pointing out things that are in her room to remind her of what she sees in the dark. The phase lasted maybe two weeks before she stopped being scared. Yeah, I talked to her about it tonight at bedtime (my first bedtime since she's started this since my in-laws were here). She first wasn't very specific, then said she was afraid something would eat her, like a wolf. I tried to reassure her that nothing like that could get into the house, but that didn't really seem to help.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 02:31
|
|
|
We made a "monster spray" that was basically watered down frebreeze and sprayed all the scary things away before bed. Only needed it for a couple of months and she never mentioned it again. 🤷
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 06:08
|
|
|
Jesse Iceberg posted:Hi thread, long time listener, first time caller. Why is your water heater set hot enough that anyone, let alone your daughter, can scald themselves? That would be the first thing I did. Are you concerned she's going to get in there on her own?
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 06:15
|
|
|
Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Why is your water heater set hot enough that anyone, let alone your daughter, can scald themselves? That would be the first thing I did. Are you concerned she's going to get in there on her own? Even at its lowest setting, the hot water is hot enough to give her a surprise, but not to scald, I was just exaggerating there. Mostly we were looking for something to prevent her filling the tub with cold water while we're trying to give her a bath though, as then giving her a bath becomes a 2 person job with one on distraction and faucet control and the other on bathing. Anyway, something like this'll probably do; https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01H2N8LL2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_bvRnDbD5QM4J4
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 08:22
|
|
|
Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Why is your water heater set hot enough that anyone, let alone your daughter, can scald themselves? That would be the first thing I did. Are you concerned she's going to get in there on her own? Hot water tanks kind of need to be set hot enough to kill off horrible bastard things like legionella and whatnot. The best thing to do is to replace the tap/mixer with a modern thermostatic unit. These typically have a safety stop right around normal human body temperature, effectively making scalding impossible. (Doesn't keep my own kids from screaming since the little lunatics all prefer colder temperatures and think anything above lukewarm is boiling, but actual injury is not going to happen.)
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 09:27
|
|
|
Groke posted:Hot water tanks kind of need to be set hot enough to kill off horrible bastard things like legionella and whatnot. CDC says higher than 108, other sources say 125, highest recommendation was 140. I agree with the modern unit.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 13:48
|
|
|
Can we talk haircuts for a moment? Specifically, haircuts for Mommy or Daddy. I’m going bald. I still have a lot of hair but my hair is very thin on top and overall my hair is not great. I had resolved to just have it all shaved off today but only just considered my toddler and his reaction should he see me with hair this morning and without it this afternoon. I’m not shaving off my beard, I feel like that’d be a really drastic change in top of the fact I love my beard and don’t want to shave it off, but I can’t wear hats forever to mask from my toddler the fact I will now have a smooth head. The obvious solution is to just buzz it and ease into smooth baldness, does anyone think this will produce a similar reaction from him? My problem is that buzzing will make it even more apparent to anyone that I’m balding on top.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 14:32
|
|
|
I went from no beard to beard and back to no beard over the course of 4 months. The no beard to beard was gradual and not really mentioned. The beard to no beard happened while my kids slept and in the morning, my daughter (2.5yo at the time) asked what happened to my face. I told her that I shaved my beard off. She talked about how "Daddy shaved his beard" for the next week and thought it was hilarious. My son (5mo at the time) didn't notice. Ymmv, but for me, the drastic hair change created more amusement than anything else.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 14:42
|
|
|
I dyed my hair green and my then-6 month old didn't give a poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 15:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 03:40 |
|
|
life is killing me posted:Can we talk haircuts for a moment? Specifically, haircuts for Mommy or Daddy. I gave my son (3) the clippers and let him go to town then finished up when he got bored. He had fun and it was less of a surprise for him than me coming home from the barber or something.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2019 15:54
|
|
