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XIII
Feb 11, 2009


Ashcans posted:

Well, the officer that was at Parkland during the shooting and failed to enact the 'Good Guy With Gun' dream solution has basically been torn apart by everyone as a coward, etc, and I think they were trying to find charges to pin on him?

They're gonna charge him (or already did), but none of it will stick. It's just a way to get people to think that steps are actually being taken, but, really, he's just gonna end up working security a town over

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Justin Godscock
Oct 12, 2004

Listen here, funnyman!

XIII posted:

They're gonna charge him (or already did), but none of it will stick. It's just a way to get people to think that steps are actually being taken, but, really, he's just gonna end up working security a town over

No joke: No police department will hire him because no officer will ever want to work with him. Running from the danger is literally the worst thing a police officer can do and will kill a career once the label sticks.

Julio Cruz
May 19, 2006
shooting someone because they responded too fast/too slow/didn't respond at all/were black: totally fine and understandable

not banzai charging with your department issue sidearm towards a dude armed with a semi-auto assault rifle: get the gently caress out

Mondian
Apr 24, 2007

So you're saying we need department issue assault rifles, that's something we can do.

new friend from school
May 19, 2008

by Azathoth
Most cops have those in the trunk already, it’s only school cops that usually don’t have them.

borkencode
Nov 10, 2004



Might as well face it you're addicted to guns.

SimonCat
Aug 12, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo
College Slice
So, Clint Eastwood is funny because he was in the Army during the Korean War, but he served as a lifeguard at a stateside base in California, he never saw combat. He did play a lot of combat vets though.

On the second one, does this mean they are now for calling off the War on Drugs and just legalizing everything?

Bombadilillo
Feb 28, 2009

The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

Why would you be concern if the government took your guns. Obviously they will be so ineffective at it, who cares?

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

ban all guns for white men except guns that have been converted into pipes or bongs or dildos, give the rest of the guns to trans women of color and the SRA

DarkHorse
Dec 13, 2006

Vroom vroom, BEEP BEEP!
Nap Ghost

Justin Godscock posted:

No joke: No police department will hire him because no officer will ever want to work with him. Running from the danger is literally the worst thing a police officer can do and will kill a career once the label sticks.

Ratting our a fellow cop is probably worse in terms of getting hired, but admittedly not as bad in general public opprobrium

InsertPotPun
Apr 16, 2018

Pissy Bitch stan
I don't know, I always read plenty of stories about children praying in school after a shooting.

borkencode
Nov 10, 2004

InsertPotPun posted:

I don't know, I always read plenty of stories about children praying in school after a shooting.

”God” posted:

Too little too late bitches.

InsertPotPun
Apr 16, 2018

Pissy Bitch stan

SimonCat posted:

So, Clint Eastwood is funny because he was in the Army during the Korean War, but he served as a lifeguard at a stateside base in California, he never saw combat. He did play a lot of combat vets though.

On the second one, does this mean they are now for calling off the War on Drugs and just legalizing everything?
There was a Daily Show about silencers one time and the guy he was speaking to was going on and on about how banning things won't make them any harder to get and how it's bad that they banned silencers because now they're too hard to get.

They just don't care.

Invalid Validation
Jan 13, 2008




Every once in a while you see something on Facebook that deserves to be FWD: FWD: FWD: and I think this thread would appreciate it.

LonsomeSon
Nov 22, 2009

A fishperson in an intimidating hat!

T-man posted:

ban all guns for white men except guns that have been converted into pipes or bongs or dildos, give the rest of the guns to trans women of color and the SRA

Operation Plowshare II: Green Dawn

Mandatory modification of all semi-automatic firearms into giant weed pipes!

Bongs would be impractical given the corrosion characteristics of steel, sadly.

Eschenique
Jul 19, 2019

Justin Godscock posted:

No joke: No police department will hire him because no officer will ever want to work with him. Running from the danger is literally the worst thing a police officer can do and will kill a career once the label sticks.

Wasn't the school placement just that? Him in his last years getting a comfy job telling kids that studying is cool and drugs are bad?

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but after some light reading it looks like a former President could be impeached, as the impeachment is actually just a trial of sorts by Congress to determine if a public servant committed a crime in office, while the actual punishment is handed down by the Senate. The two punishments either being removal from office or being banned from holding office again both of which would useless to levy against a former two-term President.

Nth Doctor
Sep 7, 2010

Darkrai used Dream Eater!
It's super effective!


DariusLikewise posted:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but after some light reading it looks like a former President could be impeached, as the impeachment is actually just a trial of sorts by Congress to determine if a public servant committed a crime in office, while the actual punishment is handed down by the Senate. The two punishments either being removal from office or being banned from holding office again both of which would useless to levy against a former two-term President.

It would have changed John Q. Adams' later career prospects.

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

"It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"


Grimey Drawer

Orange Devil posted:

Oh I see.

But their primary purpose is still running basically anti-insurgency on non-white and left wing types right? I mean, would a cop get away with cowering and hiding if the mass shooting was taking place in the Hamptons?
Cops are the enforcement art of the state. Their job is to protect capitalists and their property, by asserting their state monopoly on force over everyone else.

Jurgan
May 8, 2007

Just pour it directly into your gaping mouth-hole you decadent slut

Nth Doctor posted:

It would have changed John Q. Adams' later career prospects.

And Taft.

Guavanaut
Nov 27, 2009

Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998



Toilet Rascal
I don't think it'd affect Obama much, but what are they even going to impeach him for? Being captivatingly Kenyan? They're just throwing words around.

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010

Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻

Guavanaut posted:

I don't think it'd affect Obama much, but what are they even going to impeach him for? Being captivatingly Kenyan? They're just throwing words around.

Spying on the Trump campaign and colluding with Russia to produce the Steel Dossier probably. Maybe for doing Benghazi.

borkencode
Nov 10, 2004
The relative that shared this also recently asked about how to disable safety features on power tools. No idea who the random names are.

:tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil:
This guy makes some good points. Compliments of Art Aiken
Five huge questions are screaming out for real answers:
#1) If there’s only one shooter, why did so many eyewitnesses report multiple shooters at the scene?
#2) Why did the local police arrest and hold three suspects in custody, as was widely reported by the media before the story was changed to a “lone shooter?”
#3) Why does the so-called “manifesto” appear to be written by someone far older than 21 years of age? (Answer: The manifesto is a hoax. It was not written by the individual who was arrested as the shooter.)
#4) How does one man kill 20 people and wound another 30 people with a single magazine that only holds 30 rounds? The surveillance photo shows no chest rig, no battle belt and no spare magazines.
#5) If the shooter is on a suicide mission, why does he bother to wear both eye protection and ear protection? Answer: Because he knows he will survive his “mission” and be taken into custody after surrendering to police. It wasn’t a suicide mission at all. Eighteen months from now, the world will have forgotten the name of the shooter, and the media will never report anything about him again. (He will likely be relocated under the witness protection program, living under a new identity after having completed his “mission” for the deep state.)
BONUS QUESTION: If you hate illegals and want to protect America, why would you mass murder Americans shopping in an American store? Wouldn’t you theoretically want to target illegal aliens if that’s who you want to destroy? Nearly all the people who were shot were Americans. It makes no sense to hate illegals and then turn around and mass murder Americans.
ONE MORE QUESTION: Why was the shooter’s online profile changed from “Democrat” to Republican / Trump supporter / QAnon follower? Clearly the deep state is modifying his online profile to match their own conspiracy theories and official narratives about QAnon followers being “domestic terrorists.” This is Orwellian-level psyop stuff being run on the entire nation…
Repost: Robert Brooks
:tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil:

HootTheOwl
May 13, 2012

Hootin and shootin

borkencode posted:

The relative that shared this also recently asked about how to disable safety features on power tools. No idea who the random names are.

:tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil:
This guy makes some good points. Compliments of Art Aiken
Five huge questions are screaming out for real answers:
#1) If there’s only one shooter, why did so many eyewitnesses report multiple shooters at the scene?
#2) Why did the local police arrest and hold three suspects in custody, as was widely reported by the media before the story was changed to a “lone shooter?”
#3) Why does the so-called “manifesto” appear to be written by someone far older than 21 years of age? (Answer: The manifesto is a hoax. It was not written by the individual who was arrested as the shooter.)
#4) How does one man kill 20 people and wound another 30 people with a single magazine that only holds 30 rounds? The surveillance photo shows no chest rig, no battle belt and no spare magazines.
#5) If the shooter is on a suicide mission, why does he bother to wear both eye protection and ear protection? Answer: Because he knows he will survive his “mission” and be taken into custody after surrendering to police. It wasn’t a suicide mission at all. Eighteen months from now, the world will have forgotten the name of the shooter, and the media will never report anything about him again. (He will likely be relocated under the witness protection program, living under a new identity after having completed his “mission” for the deep state.)
BONUS QUESTION: If you hate illegals and want to protect America, why would you mass murder Americans shopping in an American store? Wouldn’t you theoretically want to target illegal aliens if that’s who you want to destroy? Nearly all the people who were shot were Americans. It makes no sense to hate illegals and then turn around and mass murder Americans.
ONE MORE QUESTION: Why was the shooter’s online profile changed from “Democrat” to Republican / Trump supporter / QAnon follower? Clearly the deep state is modifying his online profile to match their own conspiracy theories and official narratives about QAnon followers being “domestic terrorists.” This is Orwellian-level psyop stuff being run on the entire nation…
Repost: Robert Brooks
:tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil:

I like how the shooter both is the shooter and real, but also not the shooter and fake.

jjack229
Feb 14, 2008
Articulate your needs. I'm here to listen.

HootTheOwl posted:

I like how the shooter both is the shooter and real, but also not the shooter and fake.

There are multiple shooters, but only one of them will be relocated through witness protection.

VitalSigns
Sep 3, 2011

Witness protection that was all scheduled in advance to disappear the shooter after blaming it all on Trump, but they didn't bother to change the shooter's social media

InsertPotPun
Apr 16, 2018

Pissy Bitch stan

borkencode posted:

The relative that shared this also recently asked about how to disable safety features on power tools. No idea who the random names are.

:tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil:
This guy makes some good points. Compliments of Art Aiken
Five huge questions are screaming out for real answers:
#1) If there’s only one shooter, why did so many eyewitnesses report multiple shooters at the scene?
#2) Why did the local police arrest and hold three suspects in custody, as was widely reported by the media before the story was changed to a “lone shooter?”
#3) Why does the so-called “manifesto” appear to be written by someone far older than 21 years of age? (Answer: The manifesto is a hoax. It was not written by the individual who was arrested as the shooter.)
#4) How does one man kill 20 people and wound another 30 people with a single magazine that only holds 30 rounds? The surveillance photo shows no chest rig, no battle belt and no spare magazines.
#5) If the shooter is on a suicide mission, why does he bother to wear both eye protection and ear protection? Answer: Because he knows he will survive his “mission” and be taken into custody after surrendering to police. It wasn’t a suicide mission at all. Eighteen months from now, the world will have forgotten the name of the shooter, and the media will never report anything about him again. (He will likely be relocated under the witness protection program, living under a new identity after having completed his “mission” for the deep state.)
BONUS QUESTION: If you hate illegals and want to protect America, why would you mass murder Americans shopping in an American store? Wouldn’t you theoretically want to target illegal aliens if that’s who you want to destroy? Nearly all the people who were shot were Americans. It makes no sense to hate illegals and then turn around and mass murder Americans.
ONE MORE QUESTION: Why was the shooter’s online profile changed from “Democrat” to Republican / Trump supporter / QAnon follower? Clearly the deep state is modifying his online profile to match their own conspiracy theories and official narratives about QAnon followers being “domestic terrorists.” This is Orwellian-level psyop stuff being run on the entire nation…
Repost: Robert Brooks
:tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil:
So instead of one man with one gun they had to hire several shooters? And then...convince or bribe the police to let some of them go and never tell anyone.
Convince or bribe the all media to stop reporting on some of the shooters. Hire someone to write a so-called, quote unquote, """mani""fest""o"" (pppffttt *eye roll* yeah right WHATeva!!). Neither will ever talk either despite...talking first...
Can't forget to edit and suppress all surveillance that shows all of this despite the early leaks.
And the shooter who drew the short straw to take the fall was convince to risk life in prison, maybe even the recently reintroduced death penalty, but NOT be able to convince him to damage his hearing. I guess they didn't pay a bonus.
Also him, and the other shooters that were allowed to leave, will never, ever talk.
Also the shooter they choose was a hardcore dedicated Demo-socialist-commie-crat who, apparently, didn't think to scrub his facebook feed and the like of all his Obama love. And none of the roughly 50-60 others hired to help thought of it either. Despite all other previous shooters having had their feeds publicly dissected making the exact same mistake.
Get him into the witness protection program without any of those people ever talking. This adds, what, another 10-20 people and several million more dollars.
And, despite all this careful and exacting procedure that went off 100% without a hitch, they didn't choose a good target. That's a detail that slipped their mind.

Or the world is random chaos and one rear end in a top hat did an rear end in a top hat thing. And every other rear end in a top hat just reacting to a random, chaotic mess as best they can.

But no. I'm sure it was a neat, numbered, ordered list of events that means the world is evil, but has an order.

At this point it's like still believing in Santa Claus.

Bombadilillo
Feb 28, 2009

The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

Didnt get a good enough look at the shooter to identify it as him or them.

Did get a good enough look to know it was impossible to have an extra CLIP somewhere.

Conspiracy theories always refuse to be internally consistent and just try to poke all the holes they can, but this one takes the cake. The one thing that just absolutely cannot be what happened, was what happened.

Bonus lol: immigrants couldnt have been the motive cause this mass murder isnt logical.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
Those are all things conjectured by Alex Jones in the days after. I recommend the Knowledge Fight podcast for this poo poo.

Taerkar
Dec 7, 2002

kind of into it, really

Bombadilillo posted:

Didnt get a good enough look at the shooter to identify it as him or them.

Did get a good enough look to know it was impossible to have an extra CLIP somewhere.

Conspiracy theories always refuse to be internally consistent and just try to poke all the holes they can, but this one takes the cake. The one thing that just absolutely cannot be what happened, was what happened.

Bonus lol: immigrants couldnt have been the motive cause this mass murder isnt logical.

It's akin to regressive 'debating'. They're shotgunning random claims and accusations to get one stumble or one inaccuracy upon which everything can be declared to be invalid. Of course anything that they say that is wrong is irrelevant.

Firstscion
Apr 11, 2008

Born Lucky

jojoinnit posted:

Those are all things conjectured by Alex Jones in the days after. I recommend the Knowledge Fight podcast for this poo poo.

I second that!

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


borkencode posted:

#3) Why does the so-called “manifesto” appear to be written by someone far older than 21 years of age? (Answer: The manifesto is a hoax. It was not written by the individual who was arrested as the shooter.)

What the hell does this even mean? Are you supposed to come in with the assumption that a grown-rear end adult is incapable of writing a few pages of simple English if they put their mind to it? Some weird "kids these days only know text speak" old man yells at cloud thing?

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire
My favorite of those is "why were 3 suspects arrested and then released"

Do you not understand what the word "suspect" means

Orange Devil
Oct 1, 2010

Wullie's reign cannae smother the flames o' equality!

RagnarokAngel posted:

My favorite of those is "why were 3 suspects arrested and then released"

Do you not understand what the word "suspect" means

You're asking this in the country where suspects can routinely be in jail for months before seeing a judge for the first time?

If a police officer (pbuh) suspects you of a crime, that proves you are subhuman garbage.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
#5) Even Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Julio Cruz
May 19, 2006

happyhippy posted:

#5) Even Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

and for the same reason that he's on a rampage in a city rather than swallowing a gun barrel in his own bathroom, because he wants to maximise the damage he can do before he gets killed

e: and he probably fears getting shot to death a lot less than eg getting some flying glass in his eye, which would (I assume) be a lot more painful and also make it slightly more likely he gets arrested and brought to trial rather than going down in a blaze of infamy

Julio Cruz fucked around with this message at 21:29 on Aug 8, 2019

Taerkar
Dec 7, 2002

kind of into it, really

Crazycryodude posted:

What the hell does this even mean? Are you supposed to come in with the assumption that a grown-rear end adult is incapable of writing a few pages of simple English if they put their mind to it? Some weird "kids these days only know text speak" old man yells at cloud thing?

It's completely nonsensical.

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire

Orange Devil posted:

You're asking this in the country where suspects can routinely be in jail for months before seeing a judge for the first time?

If a police officer (pbuh) suspects you of a crime, that proves you are subhuman garbage.

The fact that people are often arrested for being suspected of things they didn't do is my point, yes.

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010

If you see me posting please remind me that I have Charlie Work in the reports forum to do instead

Nth Doctor posted:

It would have changed John Q. Adams' later career prospects.

and deprived us of Justice Taft :(

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VitalSigns
Sep 3, 2011

The best part is definitely "he can't be a racist because he only hated illegal immigrants, and if his motive was hating illegal immigrants why did he murder a bunch of Hispanic American citizens as though he just assumed they must be illegal based on their race!"

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