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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

piL posted:

I've touched all the walls of a shared shower. I've searched racks for watch reliefs under red lights in places I wouldn't go in the full light of day. I've found bottles in spaces man. Bottles in spaces.

Like tears in rain.

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joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Have you ever slept in a jack shack?
Do you desperately hope all these things would wash away, like tears in the rain?

Time...
To..
Jack.

Scratch Monkey
Oct 25, 2010

👰Proč bychom se netěšili🥰když nám Pán Bůh🙌🏻zdraví dá💪?

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

Guys with special operations units that are okay with sharing some of their unclassified stories are great, though. Like the my OIC for a while who told me about the time his team forgot it was Christmas and got super drunk and just started fighting each other. Had to try to come up with a cover story to explain to his wife why he didn’t Skype.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Memento posted:

Am I pregananant?

how am babby formed how am girl get pregant

Scope
Jun 6, 2003

can u get..... Pregantč?

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

I just showed that video to two coworkers on Thursday and we were in hysterics.

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012


chitoryu12 posted:

I just showed that video to two coworkers on Thursday and we were in hysterics.

:same: After seeing that video, my wife and I didn't use the word 'pregnant' throughout her pregnancy when talking to each other.

Where does disparaging dipship CINCs fall with respect to this thread? Because unexpectedly demanding allies pay you billions of dollars and pardoning war criminals is like one step below ordering the invasion of Russia in winter.

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



Guest2553 posted:

:same: After seeing that video, my wife and I didn't use the word 'pregnant' throughout her pregnancy when talking to each other.

Where does disparaging dipship CINCs fall with respect to this thread? Because unexpectedly demanding allies pay you billions of dollars and pardoning war criminals is like one step below ordering the invasion of Russia in winter.

Well we’re not quite at Italian levels of dipshittery yet, but I’m expecting the 15th Battle of the Isonzo any day now

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?
I've been told that I'm not doing enough to make people aware, so in the spirit of GIP I'm going to wildly overreact and post this same message in all the active threads.

Another run of Useless Dirt shirts is being put together. Deadline to order is 11:59 PM Eastern time tomorrow.

Info is here

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002

by Hand Knit

McNally posted:

I've been told that I'm not doing enough to make people aware, so in the spirit of GIP I'm going to wildly overreact and post this same message in all the active threads.

Another run of Useless Dirt shirts is being put together. Deadline to order is 11:59 PM Eastern time tomorrow.

Info is here

SHUT THE gently caress UP

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Deathy McDeath posted:

SHUT THE gently caress UP

uh, you ok?

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Deathy McDeath posted:

SHUT THE gently caress UP

No, you.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Deathy McDeath posted:

SHUT THE gently caress UP
Sounds like you need a shirt, m8

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

canyoneer posted:

Dude is not right.
Someone who actually did all those things would probably tell people that they used to be in the Army as a computer toucher but now works for the department of agriculture as a computer toucher.

I push paper in the military bureaucracy for a living, and I used to tell girls "I'm a DoD contractor, I fix radios" so they wouldn't question why my American rear end was drinking in whatever European city I was in. gently caress outta here if you want any of my real information, I just want to get drunk and disappoint some women.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I used to tell people I did 'Diplomatic Liason' work as a contractor for the State Department.
Sounds real, sounds boring, and is a funnier description of what I did as Infantry.

No one ever had more questions.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5BcdxYgnNK/?igshid=1d4j1wjrxh06n

Also forgot committing war crimes


Also the guy who posted this is a SEAL

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

Thankyou for that because jfc looking through those images is amazing

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

https://twitter.com/i/status/1195890104751005696

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Stravag posted:

Thankyou for that because jfc looking through those images is amazing

the guy checking to see if his laser is on by pointing a loaded pistol at his palm

good god

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

I just realized that SEAL with the backwards optic is actual loving war criminal Eddie Gallagher, he should have fixed the reversed optic by simply turning the weapon around on himself.

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

pantslesswithwolves posted:

I just realized that SEAL with the backwards optic is actual loving war criminal Eddie Gallagher, he should have fixed the reversed optic by simply turning the weapon around on himself.

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

MA-Horus posted:

the guy checking to see if his laser is on by pointing a loaded pistol at his palm

good god


:catstare: :catstare: :catstare:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwnMKq6ntMt/?igshid=1aqt7npp32e31

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

how fuckin dumb do you gotta be

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


Ignoring the whole "bullets wizzing past your face for no reason" bit, they should be wearing eyepro. Since, ya know, spalling metal and burnt powder are ALSO flying down range.

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.

:dukedog:
Nobody involved in that put more thought into it than "This will look so badass".

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Not the ending I expected.

Bored As Fuck
Jan 1, 2006
Fun Shoe
I was hoping for someone singing the sea shanty. :(

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

Me too. I just kept going any second now any second...OH gently caress

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


I’m jealous how he got away with that bangin’ mohawk.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013

A paddlin' for the tattletale.

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

I need a ruling. Funny, idiot, or warcrime

LtCol J. Krusinski
May 7, 2013

by Fluffdaddy
Is funny, idiot, war crime the new “Marry, gently caress, kill.” ?

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


Why not all 3?

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

I think its more the new animal, vegetable, mineral cuz youre not having to match up three things just choose between the three

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Is funny, idiot, war crime the new “Marry, gently caress, kill.” ?

at least for this thread

Dick Burglar
Mar 6, 2006
Please do not gently caress the submachine gun.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


Here's video where a gun shop guy suggests you buy that gun. and put USB port stickers on it so people will think it's a hard drive.

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Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

Annnnd one of the comments was "any muslims here" keep being classy youtube

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