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Comrade Blyatlov posted:I wasn't expecting it to go the way it did lol Basically the complete opposite way of how the USSR would react
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Jan 16, 2020 19:07
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First step in the operations manual is to check power and calibration date, smh shipmate.
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Jan 16, 2020 19:10
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Comrade Blyatlov posted:I wasn't expecting it to go the way it did lol Username/post combo here is amazeballs
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Jan 16, 2020 23:02
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piL posted:I love how the phrase "Alright sir stay calm" is anything but calming. So apparently it's moot and that wasn't what was said, but yep. It's Deescalation 101 that "just stay calm" or "just calm down" always have the exact opposite effect.
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Jan 17, 2020 01:25
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Lead out in cuffs posted:So apparently it's moot and that wasn't what was said, but yep. It's Deescalation 101 that "just stay calm" or "just calm down" always have the exact opposite effect. Never in the history of "calm down" has "calm down" ever calmed anyone down.
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Jan 17, 2020 02:50
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STOP CRYING
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Jan 17, 2020 03:11
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Smiling Jack posted:Username/post combo here is amazeballs How do you think he got the name?
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Jan 17, 2020 03:25
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Godholio posted:STOP CRYING https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvPugcb7QGE
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Jan 17, 2020 03:43
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I don't think I've posted this in the thread, other than WC forever ago: How about a barracks story tonight, starring one of my most hated pieces of gently caress: Henny So, when I got to this certain unit, ol Henderson was one of the few NCOs. I had no idea he was a fuckbag piece of whiny poo poo that had no business leading anything ever. Over the first few days he attempted to get me used to how the shop was ran, while I noticed dejected looks coming from the other NCOs and non-rates. I came to find out on day 4 or so that dude was absolutely loving twisted on the frame and useless except as an oxygen conversion unit. I also found out that the only reason he made it to Cpl was that someone forgot to non-rec him. gently caress. So, during my stay at this place, myself and another friend that came there around the same time ended up above this turgid fucktard. During this time he managed to break pretty much every piece of gear worse than it arrived, as well as any formerly good piece of comm gear that one of the other Marines fixed. There was one particular day that he managed to destroy 6 of these beyond repair  and cemented himself as the new "hazmat nco" whose duties were counting cans of spray paint AND NEVER TOUCHING A GODDAMN THING IN MY loving SHOP EVER AGAIN. gently caress. To say he was hated is an understatement. He was untrainable, unreliable, and full of himself. Also he probably couldn't read and you could never read his writing. He became referred to as "henny" which was pronounced exactly the same way you would say "timmah" of South Park fame. He somehow never got the joke, and then opted to get "henny" tattooed in script on his forearm. He was very proud of this and excitedly showed us all at work the day after he got it. Those of us new to the unit went through a phase of feeling sorry for him, tried to take him under our wing, etc. We failed, and then found out he had already been in for two full enlistments. This is the guy you never want to have, there is nothing you can do. Nothing. He knows everything, in his mind, and goddamn you'll have an aneurysm if you dig deep enough into his past to try to find a solution. Anyway, the final straw was at 0300ish on a Wednesday, he's knocking on my loving barracks door. He's plastered, as per usual, and has been crying and laughing and whatever else. His entire check has been spent on booze and dvds and he needs a friend.  : Path, come drink with me! : dude, no, wtf. I have to be up early as gently caress today, it's the middle of the week and you are trashed. What the hell?: I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO: No, shut the gently caress up with your yelling, I'm not covering your rear end if the OOD comes up here from his post.: mumbling some dumb poo poo about "the old corps" and esprit and a bunch of other poo poo he wasn't even around for: get the gently caress back in your room and be quiet. You best sober the gently caress up before work.And then I shut my door. We lived on the third deck and I have never wanted a outward swinging door so goddamn bad in my life, so as to kick open and launch him into glorious sickbay forever. [/quote]
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Jan 17, 2020 15:04
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Reminds me of a dude at my first base whose name I can't remotely remember, way back in the early 2000's. Guy washed out of Air Traffic Control and volunteered to go into Security Forces, which was already a red flag that this dude wasn't all there. The base I was at had a "SrA Dorm" which was an old NCO barracks they let unmarried E-4s live in. The rooms were mini-apartments, with a living room, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. The bathroom even featured a real toilet with a tank instead of the pipe-topped ones in the other dorms, which is important later. Dude and I had mutual friends, so one time he invites me over to hang out. His room is disgusting with trash everywhere and dude proceeds to plop down and start playing Diablo II with a bunch of cheat mods while rambling on and on about his TOTALLY AWESOME online forum roleplaying character's adventures. I peaced out after like 10 minutes of this because sitting around watching dude nerd out was boring as gently caress and I'd rather do pretty much anything else. He'd proceed to stop by my room periodically and I'd make up reasons not to go sit and watch the guy play Diablo, because that was literally all he ever did. One day I came back from the chow hall to discover my PS2 was moved and would no longer turn on. I had it standing on its side and quick inspection made it pretty clear that someone had knocked over and hastily stood back up. My fault for not locking my room, even though I was only gone for a few minutes. Dude proceeds to swing by and ask where I was earlier, he'd stopped by to see if I wanted to hang out. I ask him if he'd gone in my room or touched anything and he begins stammering and gets extremely cagey, pretty much confirming that he'd been in my poo poo. I begin plotting some form of horrendous revenge. The revenge came after going out to eat with a buddy of mine at a local Mexican joint. I had been blocked up for a couple days and a large burrito with rice and beans was just what I needed to get things moving again. I go by dude's room and offer to hang out, which he excitedly agrees to and proceeds to plop down at his PC and start playing Diablo per usual. I give him five minutes before telling him I've gotta use his bathroom. I proceeded to take one of the largest dumps of my life in his toilet. It clogged on the courtesy flush and I managed to drop enough poop back in there that it broke above the waterline. For good measure, I put the last few contractions into the tank for an upper decker. I wiped, threw the toilet paper in his trash can, told him "hey I gotta run" and just left him playing Diablo, oblivious to the real-life portal to Hell brewing in his toilet. He never mentioned it, I bought a new PS2 and learned how to keep my door locked, so I guess we're even.
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Jan 17, 2020 15:28
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admin edit: I'll let McNally make a call on this, and I'm PM'ing him the original link if he thinks I'm going too far. He can restore this post at his discretion Also a note that the audio at the end is loving rough. People screaming and moaning in the aftermath of an explosion.  original text with redacted video follows ***** I don't have walls of text so I'll present a vid I just saw on a reserve training day about munitions handling:   VIDEO WAS HERE0:37 onwards has some choice audio  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 17, 2020 19:43
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So uh, what happened there? Did they dump a live round into the pile and set off its primer?
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Jan 17, 2020 20:41
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"I suppose so but I'm not sure" -instructor when asked about it. Apparently it's a bunch of ukrainian separatists, so it could be deteriorated ammunition, a primed round or even a scavenged dud (or all three).
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Jan 17, 2020 20:53
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gently caress. Reminds me of iirc Brown Moses saying that he likes to turn the sound off when he watches video of horrible stuff. That is not fun to hear.
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Jan 17, 2020 21:02
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Metrilenkki posted:I don't have walls of text so I'll present a vid I just saw on a reserve training day about munitions handling: Uhhh that pretty much looks like a snuff film dude.
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Jan 17, 2020 21:03
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Uhhh that pretty much looks like a snuff film dude. Yeah. That was not what I was expecting for "choice audio" I don't like to backseat admin in other people's playgrounds but I went ahead and killed that link. I'm PM'ing the original to McNally and if he's OK with that being here he's more than welcome to put it back in.
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Jan 17, 2020 21:15
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Metrilenkki posted:admin edit: I'll let McNally make a call on this, and I'm PM'ing him the original link if he thinks I'm going too far. He can restore this post at his discretion Lmao listen to these death cries y'all, loving hilarious
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Jan 17, 2020 21:21
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UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:Lmao listen to these death cries y'all, loving hilarious This is pretty much the tone I got from that post. Metrilenkki, don't post snuff in GIP. Actually, I think it's better to say don't post snuff. Period.
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Jan 17, 2020 21:29
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Metrilenkki posted:admin edit: I'll let McNally make a call on this, and I'm PM'ing him the original link if he thinks I'm going too far. He can restore this post at his discretion gently caress you
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Jan 17, 2020 21:59
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Posting something horrid like that in a forum populated by a not inconsequential number of people dealing with trauma certainly qualifies as idiotic in my books.
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Jan 17, 2020 23:00
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Fearless posted:Posting something horrid like that in a forum populated by a not inconsequential number of people dealing with trauma certainly qualifies as idiotic in my books. Yeah, but as I've said before this thread is for talking *about* idiots.
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Jan 17, 2020 23:01
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McNally posted:Yeah, but as I've said before this thread is for talking *about* idiots. Well, aren't we?
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Jan 17, 2020 23:03
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Fearless posted:Well, aren't we? Touché.
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Jan 17, 2020 23:05
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madeintaipei posted:Never in the history of "calm down" has "calm down" ever calmed anyone down. That's why I usually go with 'okay, take a deep breath'. Hyperventilating people keep panicking.
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Jan 17, 2020 23:47
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Wild T posted:Making plopples in a fucktards terlet tank and a shitberg in the calm sea Hell yes, this is what I need to read! Thank you.
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Jan 18, 2020 06:59
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Fearless posted:Posting something horrid like that in a forum populated by a not inconsequential number of people dealing with trauma certainly qualifies as idiotic in my books. Right on the loving nose.
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Jan 18, 2020 06:59
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https://twitter.com/jkass99/status/1218309124036759552
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Jan 18, 2020 13:28
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Having your loader take a poo poo is intimate. Like, eye contact inside a porta potty intimate.
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Jan 18, 2020 15:26
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If that was the video I’m thinking of, it’s a stunt and no one actually blew up. That said, I don’t recall any, ahem, choice audio, so I may be thinking of a different munitions handling video.
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Jan 18, 2020 15:38
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Platystemon posted:If that was the video I’m thinking of, it’s a stunt and no one actually blew up. It involved sliding munitions down an icy hill to a big pile.
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Jan 18, 2020 16:02
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Even with the proliferation of daesh propaganda I think the worst thing I've ever seen on the internet was that ROC guy standing in the recoil zone of a 57mm when he pulled the string
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Jan 18, 2020 16:28
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shame on an IGA posted:Even with the proliferation of daesh propaganda I think the worst thing I've ever seen on the internet was that ROC guy standing in the recoil zone of a 57mm when he pulled the string The one where it slams him right in the gut?
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Jan 18, 2020 22:55
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Milo and POTUS posted:The one where it slams him right in the gut? That’s the one I was thinking of when I read that. IIRC the guy died later that day of massive internal injuries.
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Jan 18, 2020 23:08
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drat that sucks. I'm also not surprised. I'm also going to put this question forth in earnest: do you think they'll use it for future training videos? I'm not being a smartass. Cuz I know I would
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Jan 18, 2020 23:13
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The army used the pics of the guy’s hand, who used a .50cal round as a hammer and it went off in his hand in a safety bulletin. Of course they’ll use that video too, that’s less immediately bloody than the finger-stumps that poor bastard had left.
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Jan 19, 2020 00:36
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When I was in Kuwait they showed us a training video about the importance of situational awareness which included footage of a humvee full of guys being wiped out by an IED they parked on top of while filming a video about situational awareness.
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Jan 19, 2020 00:43
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https://twitter.com/sgtjanedoe/status/1218681410128502785?s=20
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Jan 19, 2020 00:56
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I remember passing by a safety board in an armoury in Atlantic Canada and seeing a notice about why porta-potties and arty sims should never mix, and thinking to myself "That is so specific that some idiot had to have attempted it." Apparently some army reservists thought it would be funny to toss one down a shitter. Said shitter was absolutely shredded by the explosion.
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Jan 19, 2020 01:45
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Milo and POTUS posted:drat that sucks. I'm also not surprised. Yeah, same reason our yearly refresher on electrical safety at work includes a video of someone eating a 480v arc flash without his PPE on.
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Jan 19, 2020 01:50
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Fearless posted:I remember passing by a safety board in an armoury in Atlantic Canada and seeing a notice about why porta-potties and arty sims should never mix, and thinking to myself "That is so specific that some idiot had to have attempted it." Apparently some army reservists thought it would be funny to toss one down a shitter. Said shitter was absolutely shredded by the explosion. That’s just a cover story for someone who had the worst case of MRE-shits this side of dying.
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Jan 19, 2020 01:54
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