Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

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Mnoba: Jun 24, 2010

Rad-daddio posted:

uh, are you rimming your cats?

no rimming is disgusting, i'm talking about the sex

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:11

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# ? May 29, 2024 01:32

Science Rocket: Sep 4, 2006; Putting the Flash in Flash Man

Turns out it's your phone guys. Toss your iphone in the river and put peepaw in a faraday cage

Insane Facebook Bullshit posted:

CORONAVIRUS IS A HOAX ITS A COVER UP FOR THIS WAKE UP THE GLOBAL LOCKDOWNS ARE COVERING UP THIS!
THE WIFI KILLSHOT
5G at 60Ghz resonates with the oxygen molecule and gives oxygen a reverse polarity that makes it much less usable to the human body. At high concentrations of 5G usage, you get the suffocation of humans at street level. And at lower doses, you get flu-like symptoms which are the exact same symptoms as the flu with this lowered oxygen uptake by the body. But the way 5G kills is much more interesting.
Our bodies have trillions of parasitic organisms inside which feed on us and some say help us live by doing many useful functions. But when these bacteria, fungi, and parasites are subjected to any WIFI microwave radiations they are harmed and begin reproducing toxins in self-defense. These organisms begin reproducing rapidly to ensure their survival. And so we get flu-like symptoms from these internal parasite organisms under attack from WIFI microwave radiations reproducing rapidly and excreting toxins. This is the real illness people are getting not a bio-weapon coronavirus.
2G has ten microwave frequencies assigned to it, 3G has ten also, 4G has five frequencies with some overlaps, but 5G has 3000 microwave frequencies assigned to it by the FCC. Why so many? So 5G should really be called 297G, not 5G. So with this 5G rollout in China, Korea, Italy, Iran, and cruise ships we have the greatest concentrations of 5G usage and the greatest concentrations of illness and death in the world. Our internal parasites are like canaries in a mine and are being killed off rapidly from this 5G usage.
When this happens too quickly the body can not get rid of the increased toxins and the host (you) die from toxemia. Our human cells are all tied together and form a much stronger union but our many parasitic hosts inside us are much more isolated within us and much more vulnerable to this WIFI microwave radiations. They try to survive by multiplying rapidly and making toxins to protect them from harm but it is no use and they die with 5G. And with their rapid death our bodies (at least of older and less healthy human) are overwhelmed by toxins very quickly and we die from the combined effects of lowered oxygen uptake from 5G and also from the massive overpopulation and then die off of our internal biomass of germs and parasites which creates overwhelming toxemia.
When the Chinese locked down the people in Wuhan they turned to their new 5G phones and internet connections and so the city was flooded with much more 5G WIFI radiations and made many more people fall sick and die. Many people even fell sick instantly at street level from oxygen deficiency which previously had no sickness. A massive cloud of 5G 60Ghz microwave radiations caused oxygen in the air to fall below critical levels for survival. Yesterday all of Asia turned off their 5G and left on only their 3G and 4G systems to communicate so they know 5G is the real cause of the illnesses.
So turn off your smartphones or put them in an aluminum pouch until you need to use them to lessen radiation exposure to yourself and everyone else. That is the real thing you must do instead of washing your hands to protect others. And if you would heal your elderly and grandparents put them in a Faraday cage where they will not be irradiated constantly by WIFI signals that are all around us especially in hospitals. Then their sick bodies may heal themselves in time as the toxemia clears from their bodies.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:11

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Mnoba posted:

no rimming is disgusting, i'm talking about the sex

my bad

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:16

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Help I got preeclampsia from my iPad

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:17

Dinosaurs!: May 22, 2003

Is there a more frequently used term by crazy people pushing crazy person science than �reverse polarity�?

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:17

NihilismNow: Aug 31, 2003

Dinosaurs! posted:

Is there a more frequently used term by crazy people pushing crazy person science than �reverse polarity�?

quantum.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:19

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Dinosaurs! posted:

Is there a more frequently used term by crazy people pushing crazy person science than �reverse polarity�?

"Toxins"

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:19

Mnoba: Jun 24, 2010

Dinosaurs! posted:

Is there a more frequently used term by crazy people pushing crazy person science than �reverse polarity�?

frogs and gay

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:19

Der Kyhe: Jun 25, 2008

Strategic Tea posted:

Friendly reminder that the Chinese Communist Party is not an ethnicity or a country.

The CCP allowed wet markets to fester as hotbeds of disease and animal cruelty. The CCP set policy which encouraged local governments to be dishonest and conceal any evidence of mistakes. The CCP covered up the severity of the virus as it gained a foothold and spent god knows how long claiming there was no evidence of human to human infection. The CCP then quarantined its citizens and shipped ethnic undesirables around the country as slaves to keep the factories turning over.

It's a Xi Jinping virus, not a Chinese virus.

I'd say that like Chernobyl incident was caused and then made worse more or less by the Soviet Union internal policies, Corona is running more or less on the same script for the CCP.

Except that this time it isn't literally a pit of hell spewing death all around the northern hemisphere.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:24

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Mnoba posted:

frogs and gay

Infowars just got removed from the Google Play Store after Alex Jones gave out bad 'Roni advice

https://www.wired.com/story/google-bans-infowars-android-app-alex-jones-coronavirus/

quote:

On Friday, Google removed the Infowars Android app from its Play Store, extinguishing one of the last mainstream strongholds of infamous conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. The takedown on the heels of a video, posted in the Infowars app last week and viewed by WIRED, in which Jones disputed the need for social distancing, shelter in place, and quarantine efforts meant to slow the spread of the novel coronavirus.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:24

Nicodemus Dumps: Jan 9, 2006; Just chillin' in the sink

Hazo posted:

"Toxins"

It's this

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:25

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Der Kyhe posted:

I'd say that like Chernobyl incident was caused and then made worse more or less by the Soviet Union internal policies, Corona is running more or less on the same script for the CCP.

Except that this time it isn't literally a pit of hell spewing death all around the northern hemisphere.

*runs breathlessly into thread* but... but *cough*.. but coal is just *sputter* just as.... if you look at *wheeze* over time... then *cough* just as bad... the stats *crack pop* don't... they don't *dry heave*.. no lies

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:27

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

EAT FASTER!!!!!! posted:

4) She might have handled it better, but this derisive, low-rent mockery shows she's not handling it any better than he is right now.

I mean she's just some person now, and it's weird to hold her to the same standards as .... well anyone who is actually in charge of anything right now

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:28

Lord Decimus Barnacle: Jun 25, 2005; Hell Gem

is there a reverse fever? my thermometer keeps putting me in the 95 degree zone whereas my wife is always in the 97.

Or have I already died

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:29

Mnoba: Jun 24, 2010

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/26/tech...qLnvyEnjZj-dArU

cool poo poo to read here

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:30

Lotti Fuehrscheim: Jun 13, 2019

Der Kyhe posted:

I'd say that like Chernobyl incident was caused and then made worse more or less by the Soviet Union internal policies, Corona is running more or less on the same script for the CCP.

Except that this time it isn't literally a pit of hell spewing death all around the northern hemisphere.

At least these disasters were not unleashed on purpose, unlike the death coming from American bombs.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:30

Manager Hoyden: Mar 5, 2020

Dear Watson posted:

is there a reverse fever? my thermometer keeps putting me in the 95 degree zone whereas my wife is always in the 97.

Or have I already died

It's reverse roni caused by no rimming

Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:31

TheBuilder: Jul 11, 2001

https://mobile.twitter.com/onebtcer/status/1243571918680145922?s=21

Completely under control

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:34

Lord Decimus Barnacle: Jun 25, 2005; Hell Gem

Manager Hoyden posted:

It's reverse roni caused by no rimming

Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease

god dammit trump open up all the closed rim factories I'm coming back to work!

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:38

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

golden bubble posted:

Huangmei (within Hubei) citizens want to go back to work in Jiujiang city after the some restrictions are lifted. Jiujiang residents disagree with their fists. Things escalate. Both local police forces join in on their side of the riot. The Huangmei police and citizens want to open the bridge since the national CCCP says they can safely do so. The Jiujiang police and citizens absolutely refuse.

https://twitter.com/badiucao/status/1243483531247931392

This is totally going to happen in America by Easter

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:39

Spinz: Jan 7, 2020; I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread

Well no one answered my unemployment question, ty, but I'm negotiating rn with them. Im awaiting a text that means 5 to 10 thousand bucks
Or
Almost doubles my total savings

Jfc

They put laid off due to reorganization
I need laid off due to reorganization due to Covid.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:43

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

popewiles posted:

It's this

It's actually "energy"

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:44

VikingSkull: Jan 23, 2017; Look Viking you're a trash Trump supporter what the fuck makes you think you can have an avatar that isn't what I decide? Shut your fucking trap and go away. Your trolling is tiresome and just shits up the forum.

Picnic Princess posted:

This is totally going to happen in America by Easter

no it wont

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:48

Mnoba: Jun 24, 2010

Spinz posted:

Well no one answered my unemployment question, ty, but I'm negotiating rn with them. Im awaiting a text that means 5 to 10 thousand bucks
Or
Almost doubles my total savings

Jfc

They put laid off due to reorganization
I need laid off due to reorganization due to Covid.

what country are you talking about because it doesn't sound like the US

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:48

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Dear Watson posted:

is there a reverse fever? my thermometer keeps putting me in the 95 degree zone whereas my wife is always in the 97.

Or have I already died

Paramedic: You have no pulse, blood pressure is zero over zero, you have no pupillary response, no reflexes. Your temperature is 70 degrees.
Freddy: What does that mean?
Paramedic: Well, it's a puzzle, because technically you're not alive, except you're conscious, so we don't know what it means.
Freddy: You're saying we're dead?
Paramedic: Don't jump to conclusions. Obviously, I didn't mean you were really dead. Dead people don't move around and talk.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:54

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Picnic Princess posted:

This is totally going to happen in America by Easter

The great TP riots of 2020

# ? Mar 27, 2020 20:58

Lord Decimus Barnacle: Jun 25, 2005; Hell Gem

honestly we are already getting reports of paper towels blocking the sewer pipes here, after everyone gets poop water backed up into their homes society will crumble pretty quickly

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:00

ruddiger: Jun 3, 2004

Rad-daddio posted:

classy former first lady move. everyone will vote for her and her mangled daughter now.

Class left this country about four years ago, where have you been?

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:00

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

I can't tell the difference between people saying really dumb ironic stuff and the maga chuds who are saying genuine insanely dumb stuff.

Also their non-arguments are just one liners. That's it. They pop in and say a few words and then lay in wait for their next one liner.

I really should just scroll past their content-less posts.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:02

Fallows: Jan 20, 2005; If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

drat we just broke 100k in the USA according to https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:03

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Picnic Princess posted:

This is totally going to happen in America by Easter

Except everyone will have a gun

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:04

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

You work drat fast

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:04

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Dear Watson posted:

honestly we are already getting reports of paper towels blocking the sewer pipes here, after everyone gets poop water backed up into their homes society will crumble pretty quickly

Not for gamers

While you were out partying with friends I was studying the way of the poopsock :smug:

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:04

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

unpacked robinhood posted:

The great TP riots of 2020

Ah-ha! that is what people are saving all the tp for! They are going to tp houses when Easter gets canceled!

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:06

mike12345: Jul 14, 2008; "Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."

bird with big dick posted:

Except everyone will have a gun

at least people will stop complaining about Twitch IRL when it devolves into Battle Royale IRL

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:06

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Fallows posted:

drat we just broke 100k in the USA according to https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

American exceptionalism.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:06

Soysaucebeast: Mar 4, 2008

So my brother is currently having a meltdown on Facebook. He's apparently really good friends with this guy, who got arrested for licking stuff at Walmart and putting it on tick-tock. Everyone on Facebook is telling my brother that that dude was a moron, and my brother had taken to calling all of us idiots and criminals and "it was just a prank!" I've never seen him this angry before in my life.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:13

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Fallows posted:

drat we just broke 100k in the USA according to https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

It's all a ploy to lure the Chinese into releasing their real numbers after they are overcome by their jealously at not being #1 as well as their insecurity and fear of handsome science brain president Donald J Trump.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:15

Mnoba: Jun 24, 2010

Soysaucebeast posted:

So my brother is currently having a meltdown on Facebook. He's apparently really good friends with this guy, who got arrested for licking stuff at Walmart and putting it on tick-tock. Everyone on Facebook is telling my brother that that dude was a moron, and my brother had taken to calling all of us idiots and criminals and "it was just a prank!" I've never seen him this angry before in my life.

he should find new friends, that guy looks like a serial killer

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:16

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# ? May 29, 2024 01:32

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Soysaucebeast posted:

So my brother is currently having a meltdown on Facebook. He's apparently really good friends with this guy, who got arrested for licking stuff at Walmart and putting it on tick-tock. Everyone on Facebook is telling my brother that that dude was a moron, and my brother had taken to calling all of us idiots and criminals and "it was just a prank!" I've never seen him this angry before in my life.

Tell him he's friends with a terrorist and this is seriously and you wont be speaking with him again until he's ready to take it seriously then hang up before he can reply.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 21:17

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