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sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Cthulu Carl posted:

So is it orangutans or gorillas that hold the title of Best Ape?

The orangutan knows that it is the best ape for it knows that it is not

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Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010

Big Beef City posted:

"Johnny, aren't you glad that last year your Christmas present didn't have an unnecessary indentation in the wrapping paper it came in, and that the corners were sturdy enough to handle your shaking of it? Plus, did you notice how neatly folded it was?"

"...can I go back to Mom and her boyfriend's house now?"

Nicodemus Dumps
Jan 9, 2006

Just chillin' in the sink

Cthulu Carl posted:

So is it orangutans or gorillas that hold the title of Best Ape?

Orangutans are the best apes, gorillas are merely great

Sex Skeleton
Aug 16, 2018

For when lonely nights turn bonely
I don't think I've watched a set of graphs so intently in my entire life.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

It's been a big year for graphs. Good on them

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Can orangutans get 'ronied? What safety precautions are being taken so that they may inherit the earth? Has one even been named Zaius yet?!

Cacafuego
Jul 22, 2007

:hmbol: that doctors and nurses are getting fired by their shifty hospitals for daring to speak about how their shifty hospitals treat them during this, the biggest and worst medical disaster the world has seen in at least 100 years. Just :lol:

I’m honestly surprised there hasn’t been waves of walkouts since they usually pay well enough to have saved some gently caress you money and the job is secure enough especially now.

Fenarisk
Oct 27, 2005

Cacafuego posted:

:hmbol: that doctors and nurses are getting fired by their shifty hospitals for daring to speak about how their shifty hospitals treat them during this, the biggest and worst medical disaster the world has seen in at least 100 years. Just :lol:

I’m honestly surprised there hasn’t been waves of walkouts since they usually pay well enough to have saved some gently caress you money and the job is secure enough especially now.

Because most us give a poo poo about the patients.

Healthcare workers, not hospitals if that wasnt clear.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Disgusting Coward posted:

When you think about it, viruses are like the computer viruses of nature.

whoa :420:

Mithaldu
Sep 25, 2007

Let's cuddle. :3:
https://twitter.com/TTKKane/status/1244403406594363396
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/miriamelder/coronavirus-new-york-city-hospital-nurse-covid-19-deaths

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
The human body is basically like a car, it has a bunch of stuff in it, and a virus is like when you put diesel in a gasoline engine. Yeah it'll run for a little while but there's gonna be a lot of smoke (farts) and eventually you'll need to have the juice sucked out of you and replace with the proper one. But once in a while there comes a virus that's like putting gasoline in a diesel engine, and then you'll instantly blow up and need your whole engine (brain) replaced.

thatguy
Feb 5, 2003
I've already seen federal contracts put out for bid in order to buy morgue trucks. They put it out at first for service disabled veterans, but if they don't get any of those to bid they'll do all small or at least minority/woman owned after that.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Mooey Cow posted:

The human body is basically like a car, it has a bunch of stuff in it, and a virus is like when you put diesel in a gasoline engine. Yeah it'll run for a little while but there's gonna be a lot of smoke (farts) and eventually you'll need to have the juice sucked out of you and replace with the proper one. But once in a while there comes a virus that's like putting gasoline in a diesel engine, and then you'll instantly blow up and need your whole engine (brain) replaced.

finally someone explains everything in a way we common folk can understand

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

doctorfrog posted:

Accept that there's some risk with outdoor activities. Then limit your risks where possible. Here's some related info:

https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/03/27/coronavirus-q-a-part-3-is-hiking-ok-is-my-newspaper-infected-what-about-sex/

Thanks. Yeah most of my outdoor activities are limited to walking a few times a week in my neighborhood, getting groceries every few weeks, and getting takeout once a week. In all those cases I hand sanitize my hands like a loving maniac while outside and avoid people as much as I can. And try not to touch my face. Really though I think it just comes down to:

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

Do the best you can, you don't have to be perfect.

All you can do is try to minimize risk as much as possible and hope it works out :shrug:

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Seems like you could fit a lot more bodies in a truck than that.

I mean when you think about it, a truck is basically a smaller version of nature's boxcar train, and they work essentially the same way, hauling an incomprehensible amount of corpses around the world endlessly, it's just that one uses roads and the other uses a system no one understands or could ever hope to.

BhindiBhaji Boogie
Aug 6, 2013

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
I just want to send out a message of peace and love to my fellow goons - stay in touch with how you're feeling and be good to yourself (and others)! I try to keep a pretty cheery attitude and I think or thought I was coping with the quarantine pretty well. I went out to get groceries today and as I was walking into the No Frills :canada: an angry crackhead burst out of an adjoined pharmacy and spat out "gently caress" at the top of his lungs and got within 1/2 foot of me as he stormed to the parking lot - If I didnt get a particulate shower Ill eat my hat . This all happened in about a 2 second window but when I registered what happened 3 seconds later I felt a rage so great and so foreign to me at this point in my life that I really tripped myself out. I checked myself pretty quickly as I have no desire to brawl like a teenager in my 30s, but this is a good time for everyone to a) spread the love if possible b) at least be considerate to others because tensions are high

Cacafuego
Jul 22, 2007

Fenarisk posted:

Because most us give a poo poo about the patients.

Healthcare workers, not hospitals if that wasnt clear.

And, from the lack of actual complaints I see, you’re willing to die for them, so we thank you for your sacrifice.

Thank you for keeping your mouths shut while you willfully walk through those doors day after day and not only expose yourselves to this thing, but you drag it from room to room and patient to patient even though you know that you should be howling/de-gowning, using fresh masks for each patient, biomed should be sufficiently stocked so they can thoroughly clean all necessary equipment between each patient use, you’re running out of equipment and medications for intimated patients, etc, etc.

Thank you for allowing the hospitals to eventually place the blame for the inevitable lawsuits on you because you didn’t speak up or leave.

As a RN who got out of the hospital years ago because I was pissed at the lovely treatment of nurses, I genuinely believe that you and other nurses and doctors and associated emergency personnel are good people and that you honestly care about your patients. Your hospital may be well stocked and not subjecting you to the shortages above, but the lack of action is perplexing. I don’t know whether it’s shell-shock and everyone hasn’t had the time to sit back and think about it, or they really can’t afford to leave, or they really are sacrificing themselves for their patients, which is honorable, but foolish as we will need you and your skills! Good luck goon nurses and doctors. I’m beyond jaded with the hospital system, but keep doing good out there!

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

BhindiBhaji Boogie posted:

I just want to send out a message of peace and love to my fellow goons - stay in touch with how you're feeling and be good to yourself (and others)! I try to keep a pretty cheery attitude and I think or thought I was coping with the quarantine pretty well. I went out to get groceries today and as I was walking into the No Frills :canada: an angry crackhead burst out of an adjoined pharmacy and spat out "gently caress" at the top of his lungs and got within 1/2 foot of me as he stormed to the parking lot - If I didnt get a particulate shower Ill eat my hat . This all happened in about a 2 second window but when I registered what happened 3 seconds later I felt a rage so great and so foreign to me at this point in my life that I really tripped myself out. I checked myself pretty quickly as I have no desire to brawl like a teenager in my 30s, but this is a good time for everyone to a) spread the love if possible b) at least be considerate to others because tensions are high

can you blame him? I don't even want to ponder the price of crack right now

Rust Martialis
May 8, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 5 days!)

Play posted:

i always used to rag on my Danish buddies by encouraging them to try and pronounce the word "scissors" (incapable of making a hard s, it always comes out like "shishorsh"

Were they from some wierd part of Denmark because here in København nobody I know would say that.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

BhindiBhaji Boogie posted:

I just want to send out a message of peace and love to my fellow goons - stay in touch with how you're feeling and be good to yourself (and others)! I try to keep a pretty cheery attitude and I think or thought I was coping with the quarantine pretty well. I went out to get groceries today and as I was walking into the No Frills :canada: an angry crackhead burst out of an adjoined pharmacy and spat out "gently caress" at the top of his lungs and got within 1/2 foot of me as he stormed to the parking lot - If I didnt get a particulate shower Ill eat my hat . This all happened in about a 2 second window but when I registered what happened 3 seconds later I felt a rage so great and so foreign to me at this point in my life that I really tripped myself out. I checked myself pretty quickly as I have no desire to brawl like a teenager in my 30s, but this is a good time for everyone to a) spread the love if possible b) at least be considerate to others because tensions are high

k this is an honest response for once:

1.) I appreciate that you want everyone to love each other, and that is very cool and good. Thank you!
2.) If a mentally unwell addict acting irrationally puts you into a "Should I harm this man"/"I'm entering a literal rage"/"I am tripping out/losing control" mode, you need to calm down and perhaps talk to someone regarding this.

You're the one that went out, this person seems to have had no real control over themselves, these things will happen, and you will be exposed to this contagion sooner or later most likely. It's not an ideal situation, but you shouldn't be driven to fits of panicky rage by a person getting near to you. I hope you're ok.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Rust Martialis posted:

Were they from some wierd part of Denmark because here in København nobody I know would say that.

You saying this made me realize I mixed it up and was in fact referring to the Dutch, my apologies to you fine folks who I'm sure can say the word scissors with only minor difficulty

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Big Beef City posted:

Seems like you could fit a lot more bodies in a truck than that.

they're not clowns

doctorfrog
Mar 14, 2007

Great.

Ginette Reno posted:

Thanks. Yeah most of my outdoor activities are limited to walking a few times a week in my neighborhood, getting groceries every few weeks, and getting takeout once a week. In all those cases I hand sanitize my hands like a loving maniac while outside and avoid people as much as I can. And try not to touch my face. Really though I think it just comes down to:


All you can do is try to minimize risk as much as possible and hope it works out :shrug:

Basically. I don't check this thread real often, but I was here a lot weeks ago and my anxiety just steadily rose the more I refreshed this thread. I basically beefed up my ignore list to include some of the resident doomsayers, goons who post stories without links or Twitter stuff without commentary, "I wanna gently caress the virus" types, etc., and it got a lot better. The things you can actually do are really small in number, so focus on those.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray
im officially calling on the Canadian government to release its crack cocaine reserves. if not now, then when?

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe

Pick posted:

they're not clowns

are people like oil, in that they all taste the same

or do the clowns taste funny

Gianthogweed
Jun 3, 2004

"And then I see the disinfectant...where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that. Uhh, by injection inside..." - a Very Stable Genius.
When these 2 trillion dollar stimulus bills become the norm, I wonder how long it will take them to start printing trillion dollar bills. Mr. Burns won't feel so special anymore.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Pick posted:

they're not clowns

You might not be able to Bust the Krust

but you can Bus the 'rus [victims]

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

If a slobbering crackhead gets within 6’ of me I’m gonna put a bullet in his neck

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

bird with big dick posted:

If a slobbering crackhead gets within 6’ of me I’m gonna put a bullet in his neck

Why stop with slobbering crackheads?
Hell I don't have time to ascertain WHAT they're addicted to, they're clearly out to infect me. I was out scouting to see if it was safe for my dogs to poop in my semi-rural area and emptied a full clip into some bastard pretending to be "my neighbor's dog".
I missed most of the shots because of how devious it was and they went wide into their property and windows and all, but I got it before it could do any more damage. I dunno what they'll think of next to trick us into these computer viruses.

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

Also I hope they don't go all Nazi and hide all the antiquities they stole

I agree.

remigious
May 13, 2009

Destruction comes inevitably :rip:

Hell Gem

thatguy posted:

I've already seen federal contracts put out for bid in order to buy morgue trucks. They put it out at first for service disabled veterans, but if they don't get any of those to bid they'll do all small or at least minority/woman owned after that.

Well that seems like a huge waste of time, they should put it out for everyone with extra points going to MWB and Service disabled veterans.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/covid-19-zaandam-cruise-ship-ill-stranded-1.5515811

Passengers Margaret Tilley and David Andrews while they were transferred from the Zaandam to the Rotterdam cruise ship.


More deathship news, but WTF is going on with their masks? She hasn't bent the nose clip and is wearing her mask over her glasses, and he's not even trying. Surely people on a plague ship get instructions on how to properly wear masks? Geez no wonder poo poo keeps spreading on cruise ships if this is how seriously people take protective measures.
:psyduck:

Famethrowa
Oct 5, 2012

just got a spooky rear end emergency alert on my phone telling me that "Illinois needs healthcare workers! Sign up at -url-".

definitely not unnerving. :spooky:

Ornamental Dingbat
Feb 26, 2007

Facebook Aunt posted:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/covid-19-zaandam-cruise-ship-ill-stranded-1.5515811

Passengers Margaret Tilley and David Andrews while they were transferred from the Zaandam to the Rotterdam cruise ship.


More deathship news, but WTF is going on with their masks? She hasn't bent the nose clip and is wearing her mask over her glasses, and he's not even trying. Surely people on a plague ship get instructions on how to properly wear masks? Geez no wonder poo poo keeps spreading on cruise ships if this is how seriously people take protective measures.
:psyduck:

Can't bend the nose band when you wear it upside down.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

If you're stuck in an extremely confined space with already limited sanitation (It's a floating buffet for olds) are you REALLY blaming them and their happenstance mask usage on virus outbreaks onboard?
Like THAT'S what's spreading it and not being confined to a floating prison who's goal is to make you eat together in a casino environment where everyone is as close together as possible by design?

No?

It's that because they now unexpectedly have to deal with a medical emergency with substandard training and supplies that it's their issue things have gone tits up on board?
Interesting.

unpacked robinhood
Feb 18, 2013

by Fluffdaddy

Famethrowa posted:

just got a spooky rear end emergency alert on my phone telling me that "Illinois needs healthcare workers! Sign up at -url-".

definitely not unnerving. :spooky:

We're out of virus inhalers please enlist

BhindiBhaji Boogie
Aug 6, 2013

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Big Beef City posted:

k this is an honest response for once:

1.) I appreciate that you want everyone to love each other, and that is very cool and good. Thank you!
2.) If a mentally unwell addict acting irrationally puts you into a "Should I harm this man"/"I'm entering a literal rage"/"I am tripping out/losing control" mode, you need to calm down and perhaps talk to someone regarding this.

You're the one that went out, this person seems to have had no real control over themselves, these things will happen, and you will be exposed to this contagion sooner or later most likely. It's not an ideal situation, but you shouldn't be driven to fits of panicky rage by a person getting near to you. I hope you're ok.

Thank you for the kind words! I have little to no expectations for the general public in terms of respecting social distance etc. I also am not particularly concerned about getting the virus - tbh I was happy to get out of the house for 15 mins. I worry a bit for my parents but they're prudent people. The subtext to me after my moment of inner rage was that on some level the saturation of the 24 hr news cycle, being quarantined etc had bothered me in a way I wasn't cognizant of. I just wanted to remind everybody to check themselves in their interactions with others as we all might be a little bit touchy in ways we're not aware of. Not exactly breaking news but hey.

veni veni veni
Jun 5, 2005


Gianthogweed posted:

When these 2 trillion dollar stimulus bills become the norm, I wonder how long it will take them to start printing trillion dollar bills. Mr. Burns won't feel so special anymore.



I still can't get over Zimbabwe using the Rock Band font for their money

Hazo
Dec 30, 2004

SCIENCE



SC governor announced a press conference at 4. We’ve all been expecting a shelter in place order for days so we kind of figured this would be it.


Nope. He’s going full-on mayor from Jaws and still refusing to do anything and his “executive order” is for businesses that are already closed. Reporters pushed him about why he’s not ordering people to follow social distancing rules and he just got flustered and said “well those are suggestions we’ve made since the very beginning.”

Somebody asked the superintendent of education what their plan is when this inevitably goes on past the end of the school year and she just said “I’m praying. I’m praying for a miracle.”

:votegop:

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Fabulousity
Dec 29, 2008

Number One I order you to take a number two.

More plague boat action: USS Theodore Roosevelt has been 'ronied: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-52110298

quote:

The captain of a US aircraft carrier carrying more than 4,000 crew has called for urgent help to halt a coronavirus outbreak on his ship.

Scores of people on board the Theodore Roosevelt have tested positive for the infection. The carrier is currently docked in Guam.

"We are not at war. Sailors do not need to die," Captain Brett Crozier wrote in a letter to the Pentagon.

...

The coronavirus' spread was now "ongoing and accelerating", he warned, in the letter dated 30 March.

...

It is not clear how many crew members on the Theodore Roosevelt have the coronavirus. The San Francisco Chronicle, which first reported on the letter, said at least 100 sailors were infected.

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