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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

"Tonight on Action4 News at 6! Lab Grabs Ham! Is YOUR neighborhood safe?
Also, Dave Perez follows up; That Van - Who's is it?
Lisa Wong with your 'It's too dry for them to be burning' forecast, and more!"

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Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
I think I'd consider it a pretty good day if I was able to provide a lab with a ham, honestly

I know it'd make his day, and that'd feel nice

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Big Beef City posted:

I'm like 90% sure they're joking, expecting everyone to catch a rabbit->eggs->easter bunny joke at any time of year.

... You'd think they'd put a :p after it or whatever, but... Who knows

If you don't think some people would instantly assume that a rabbit lays eggs... well, I don't have anything clever to say but you're definitely wrong.

Anyways, upsetting story about a local racist/possible rapist POS:

quote:

My sister was followed by “neighbor”. My sister was dropping off her husband at the airport, she notice that someone in a white mustang maybe 2015 was tailgating her . So as she turned left on Patrick lane to turn right on Lodgepole she still notice him and so she did circles around the whole neighborhood. My sister then call my dad to tell her what was going on and since we live on Lodgepole he told her to park in front of our house . And as she was pulling up, she got out of the car and he parked on the side of our house. My sister grabbed my nephew and came inside my house, my dad then walked over to the mustang and told the guy why he was following my sister. The guy the sped off, he then made a Right turn on flint rock rd and made a circle around the neighborhood to park two houses behind us. His intention were clearly not right. We called the cops, as I had the dispatch on the phone my dad yelled across the two houses to tell him why he did that, the guy went in his house and came back out yelling and had something in his hand, said “this isn’t your neighborhood “ and said racial slurs to us as Mexicans. We kept call the entire time as he kept yelling and making a scene saying he didn’t know that she lived here and saying he thought we were going to jump him. CLEARLY he got caught ! And is making up excuses.

This guy lives two houses behind us. He owns a white mustang (NV 574A11) lives on painted pony . Please be careful, obviously our neighborhood isn’t safe anymore. We have proof on video.

Legit strange:

quote:

To my parents, This Easter please do not buy me any bunny rabbits only unless there stuffed animals. I know that in the past I have got one or two but you know I will not take care of it and you will let it or them go into neighborhoods where they multiply and take over, so please please please don't buy them for me.
Thanks
Love you

ThePopeOfFun
Feb 15, 2010

Ventral EggSac posted:

Black Lab with Red Collar On My Deck. Again. Stole Groceries. Had an early morning Hy-Vee order. Had it delivered to my deck. Bringing it in bit by bit. Older so it takes a bit of time. Neighbor dog across street behind fence barking like crazy. My cat looked like he knew something was out there. So I go out. A man with a dog on a leash standing by my yard. On my yard a bit? I look the other way toward back. There is the lab with red collar nosing around. I clapped hands and told it to go home. He took off. Big dumb lab lookin for snacks.
Well my ham was on deck floor ready to be hauled off. My cherry pie is missing. My neighbor found it dragged into my yard eaten. Not happy.

Stream of consciousness would improve a lot of IRL Nextdoor posting, not going to lie. Kept me until the very end.

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




Play posted:

Legit strange:

quote:

To my parents, This Easter please do not buy me any bunny rabbits only unless there stuffed animals. I know that in the past I have got one or two but you know I will not take care of it and you will let it or them go into neighborhoods where they multiply and take over, so please please please don't buy them for me.
Thanks
Love you

Nah, this is just a quirky "don't buy kids live chicks/rabbits as pets for Easter," message that's getting a bit diluted by the 1st person narration.

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017
i could post this in the boomer thread too but telling old people not to buy poo poo is impossible

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Rod Hoofhearted posted:

Nah, this is just a quirky "don't buy kids live chicks/rabbits as pets for Easter," message that's getting a bit diluted by the 1st person narration.

I know but the idea of a child begging their parents on nextdoor for some reason to stop buying them live bunnies for easter is pretty drat funny

The poor grammar also makes it legitimately seem like it's a child writing directly to their parents lol

Poor guy's just trying to get his drink on:

quote:

Heads up! Today March 18th, my Husband and I were walking at cobblestone park and as we walked over toward the baseball fields we noticed there is a homeless man with a tent set up at the end of the pond next to the far tunnel. As we are walking back through the walking tunnel there stands a man drinking a very large beer. So please don’t send your children to that park alone. Anything can happen especially when there are alcohol and drugs are involved. Better safe then sorry.

not a very large beer oh no

Play fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Apr 6, 2021

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Clearly those two individuals completely own the entire park forever now and nothing could change or be done in any way.

A man drinking a tall boy on a park bench means that park is now and forever the city streets in Judge Dredd now. Rip

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

quote:

It's unlike any other places I have lived before! When I first moved to Berkeley I was taken back on how cold and unfriendly the people in Berkeley residents appeared as I was walking.
They would have stone cold looks on their faces who only staired straight ahead.
As if they were Robots!
Real strange if you ask me.
After living here for 7 years it remained the same!!
What is wrong with people in this town?
If you will can you honestly answer this question.
Do you know any of your neighbors?
The people ranged from youngsters - to older adults.
So it wasn't isolated o any certain age group.
It reminds me of the movie "Stepford Wives"

Am I missing something here?
If so can explain why everyone here appears so stand offish?

What travesty happened here to cause such a thing?
lol I can't help but imagine this weird lady is walking around with a horrified face at all the pod people she thinks she's encountering and they're just giving her blank confused looks back

edit: also a fair amount of followups from people saying like "I'm from [city], and I agree Berkeley is weird now!" as if we're not in a fuckin pandemic and all wearing masks and being awkward as gently caress

Martman fucked around with this message at 06:51 on Apr 6, 2021

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

Too many birds Too many birds outside recently ...very loud loud and obnoxious. There definitely weren't so many back in the day? What the hell is going on? Anybody know what is happening?

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Excuse me, we call them "women" these days

Master J Plus
Apr 20, 2010

by Hand Knit

A Strange Aeon posted:

As GK Chesterton wrote, "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people."

The fop dandy from Frasier?

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




hydrocarbonenema
Mar 4, 2017

Fun Shoe
Guy has a point. What kind of hosed up future serial killer 8 year old wears suspenders .

manero
Jan 30, 2006

I thought I was clever by only signing up for safety & security messages, but then people just post crap asking what’s with all the sirens, or what was with all that train noise at 1am. Why are planes flying over???

I broke down and just deleted my account, good riddance, and no more posts about spotting foxes in the neighborhood!!

10/10 would delete account again

Prophet of Nixon
May 7, 2007

Thou art not a crook!

My neighborhood has been inundated with late-night helicopters for the last few months, some low, some high, some loud, some quiet, and I signed up for Nextdoor just to see if anyone has been discussing them. Not a word.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Prophet of Nixon posted:

My neighborhood has been inundated with late-night helicopters for the last few months, some low, some high, some loud, some quiet, and I signed up for Nextdoor just to see if anyone has been discussing them. Not a word.

Take your meds

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Do you live near a hospital?

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !
I'm not going to install the Next door app unless something seriously drastic happens

Knot My President!
Jan 10, 2005

my nextdoor is basically a bunch of people bitching to reopen a mile strip of highway on the ocean that was closed off so people could walk and bicycle during Covid

nobody worth a poo poo: "it makes the traffic unbearable, it's adding several minutes onto our commute, reopen the highway, it's gone on long enough"

everyone else: "shut the gently caress up, you worthless loving NIMBY"

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

There's a fight about leaving grass clippings in the road now.
One lady (not the op) is just replying to everyone that if they drove motorcycles they wouldn't leave grass clippings in the road cause it's like going over ice. One guy said it's not a big deal and he drives a motorcycle, and she said she doesn't believe him.

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

manero posted:

I thought I was clever by only signing up for safety & security messages, but then people just post crap asking what’s with all the sirens, or what was with all that train noise at 1am. Why are planes flying over???

I broke down and just deleted my account, good riddance, and no more posts about spotting foxes in the neighborhood!!

10/10 would delete account again

Jokes on you. You can't delete your account. Nextdoor will keep sending you neighborhood messages by email and ignoring your unsubscribe requests.

My account has been deleted for 6 years and I still get updates.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Big Beef City posted:

Clearly those two individuals completely own the entire park forever now and nothing could change or be done in any way.

A man drinking a tall boy on a park bench means that park is now and forever the city streets in Judge Dredd now. Rip

This is how white suburbanites think tho

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Uh Oh

Anybody else see that guy in a Frankenstein T-shirt walking around yesterday? Black shirt, black shorts, everything. Very weird.

I know there's a rise of Satanic material going on "as we speak" but did not expect it in our neighborhood so fast. Keep your eyes open, he may be stealing pets or even kids!

Spazzle
Jul 5, 2003

Knot My President! posted:

my nextdoor is basically a bunch of people bitching to reopen a mile strip of highway on the ocean that was closed off so people could walk and bicycle during Covid

nobody worth a poo poo: "it makes the traffic unbearable, it's adding several minutes onto our commute, reopen the highway, it's gone on long enough"

everyone else: "shut the gently caress up, you worthless loving NIMBY"

I see you too live in the sunset.

hotdog feet
Nov 3, 2005
I mostly just shitpost about animal sightings on Nextdoor. Like, take a few minutes to Photoshop a goat into a picture of the local park and people lose their poo poo.

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

A Fancy Hat posted:

Uh Oh

Anybody else see that guy in a Frankenstein T-shirt walking around yesterday? Black shirt, black shorts, everything. Very weird.

I know there's a rise of Satanic material going on "as we speak" but did not expect it in our neighborhood so fast. Keep your eyes open, he may be stealing pets or even kids!

E:nvm, I guess that's still touching the poop.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Fantastic Foreskin posted:

E:nvm, I guess that's still touching the poop.

Technically DOOM is the most christian game ever made.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Armitag3 posted:

Technically DOOM is the most christian game ever made.

E: Aaaah poop

Prophet of Nixon
May 7, 2007

Thou art not a crook!

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Do you live near a hospital?

I hadn't considered that. I'm about a mile from one and they do have a helipad. I'd hate to think there's that many more emergencies going there lately, but that could explain some of it.

Prophet of Nixon
May 7, 2007

Thou art not a crook!

ben shapino posted:

Take your meds

NEVER

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

hotdog feet posted:

I mostly just shitpost about animal sightings on Nextdoor. Like, take a few minutes to Photoshop a goat into a picture of the local park and people lose their poo poo.
"Saw this weird dog with horns, what should I do"

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005



Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Well you don't get Bigfoot that far into the suburbs.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Whose Cooking That?

Last evening I went for a walk and smelled something very Sickeningly sweet, like fruit but even sweeter. It made me sick to my stomach and I Tossed My Cookies right on the road. I started looking around and banging on doors but nobody would answer.

Who was cooking that, is it drug-related or perhaps something even worse?

It smelled like sugar but not quite as sweet, like I said, more like really sweet fruit. Not an apple but more like a berry of some kind. I did not see smoke or anything like that. This was on the corner of Sycamore and Avonworth. The neighbors there are INCREDIBLY RUDE and, had they just answered the door, we could have already solved this "issue".

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Sjs00 posted:

I'm not going to install the Next door app unless something seriously drastic happens

I just do it on my computer and I certainly do not allow it to notify me of anything

e: well actually just went to it and it looks like I got canceled for using the name people call me by and not my legal name. So much for nextdoor I'm so sad lol

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
You know, I hope they find Big Squirrel

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
I believe in big squirrel. Bonding with my chud neighbros over our love for big squirrel albeit for VERY different reasons

FlashFearless
Nov 4, 2004
Death. But not for you, Gunslinger. Never for you.





quote:

100+ Gold fish. Anyone know where the 100 or so large gold fish in the pond on Florence came from? I don’t recall ever seeing them.

Posted in General to 56 neighborhoods

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Lord Decimus Barnacle
Jun 25, 2005


Hell Gem

Play posted:

I just do it on my computer and I certainly do not allow it to notify me of anything

e: well actually just went to it and it looks like I got canceled for using the name people call me by and not my legal name. So much for nextdoor I'm so sad lol

My last name on there is an obvious fake name. Still waiting to be cancelled

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