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(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)
 
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elaboration
Feb 21, 2020
this poo poo all better be real im bored of the on-going normal despair when we could have weird despair instead

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Tekne
Feb 15, 2012

It's-a me, motherfucker

us being some bird's space cattle or even woowoo metaphysical soul cattle wouldn't make life shittier, but it would definitely make it more interesting

unfortunately all the next 48 hours will reveal is that the only big thing happening is our continuing self-destruction via climate change

aitee

Brendan Rodgers
Jun 11, 2014




It's gonna happen at 2021 hrs, on September 15th (80th of July) in July of 2080.

Only 2 humans will be left on that date, by current calculations. They will be taken to that same zoo that Kurt Vonnegut was taken to, and wrote about in Slaughterhouse Five, where they gently caress in front of an audience of alien tourists, in a glass cell.

Brendan Rodgers has issued a correction as of 15:17 on Jul 17, 2021

Rah!
Feb 21, 2006


Wheeee posted:

idk over the past handful of years we've gone from 'lol UFOs gently caress off' to 'UFOs are real and the US government is scrambling to deal with this while a slow rollout of info is being conducted by lifelong intelligence officials'

most people already can't engage with what's out now and what's out now shows only the mildest and most prosaic possible form of UFO/UAP that people have been conditioned to half-suspect are real already, when if you're digging into this recently it is increasingly apparent that what's going on is genuinely weird in a way that nobody understands. people would freak out at the federation landing and basically being us but far more advanced technologically then would adapt quickly enough, while some of what's being implied to be going on breaks our understanding of reality and our subjective experience thereof and would straight up break a lot of people

there's a deliberate process currently at work and it's moving relatively quickly given the gravitas of the subject matter

Yeah, i thought UFOs were likely bullshit too (though i wished they weren't lol), until that 2017 NY times article, and since then ive learned about a ton of poo poo that strengthens the case even more.

lol we had members of congress who were on the intelligence committee, who saw the declassified report, compare it to science fiction movies.

And the Australian UFO report seems to confirm decades of rumors about US goverment UFO debunking being a cover up for real poo poo, and rumors of secret attempts at engineering our own antigravity ships.

crazy poo poo lol

Barry Foster
Dec 24, 2007

What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)
The Australian report was written to the government by a Bird Believer, not written by the government

Sadly

E although from the perspective of tyool 2021 I don't see why I should believe a government more than some crack pinged birdman tbf

Brendan Rodgers
Jun 11, 2014




Barry Foster posted:

The Australian report was written to the government by a Bird Believer, not written by the government

Sadly

Was it written by someone investigating it or in some role on behalf of the government, or position of access to information, or just Charlie Kelly?

Barry Foster
Dec 24, 2007

What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Brendan Rodgers posted:

Was it written by someone investigating it or in some role on behalf of the government, or position of access to information, or just Charlie Kelly?

Don't actually know, but I know they got a lot of their stuff from Jacques Valleé

Ben Nerevarine
Apr 14, 2006

Barry Foster
Dec 24, 2007

What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)
Inshallah

Tekne
Feb 15, 2012

It's-a me, motherfucker

endocriminologist
May 17, 2021

SUFFERINGLOVER:press send + soul + earth lol
inncntsoul:ok

(inncntsoul has left the game)

ARCHON_MASTER:lol
MAMMON69:lol
all raitee

Inspector Hound
Jul 14, 2003

Barry Foster posted:

The Australian report was written to the government by a Bird Believer, not written by the government

Sadly

E although from the perspective of tyool 2021 I don't see why I should believe a government more than some crack pinged birdman tbf

Yeah that's some cold water, thank you

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010


I mean are they running UTC or god's chosen EDT

mycomancy
Oct 16, 2016

Orbis Tertius posted:

There's a detail in the SCU analysis of the Nimitz encounter that has been bugging me, which is after the initial meeting of the UAP and the F/A-18s, the tic-tac zoomed off and made a beeline straight for the pilots' 'Hold Point':

Regarding the UAP going to that particular location:

Based on the radar operator's emphasis, I'm assuming CAP coordinates are fairly precise (as in, moving the length of an F-18 (or a tic-tac) in any direction would take you off those coordinates).

Those coordinates were 60 nautical miles away, and the tic-tac got there in "a few minutes or less". A frequently mentioned characteristic of the tic-tacs is that they don't really need to 'get up to speed' - they instantaneously accelerate towards wherever. So from its location by the FA-18, the Tic-Tac's vector was like ~4000 mph and pointed directly at an extremely specific point in space 60 NM away, where it stopped on a dime. Meaning, it's highly unlikely that the tic-tac traveled there by accident.

I think this is fascinating for a couple reasons:

1. How the gently caress did the tic-tac know those coordinates?

This is tangential, but one of the recurring details of the encounters in that Australian report is the ETs having 'beams' that disable cars, radios, tractors, poo poo - whatever. Kind of like a universal remote that works generally on 'things that do mechanical work' or 'are powered by electricity'. Maybe the tic-tac had a similar sort of beam that functions like, "analyze the electromagnetic currents and fields within and emitted by these primitive things, and extract any meaningful data". This is relatively plausible, compared to most other things about the tic-tacs. It would be SIGINT well beyond what we can currently do, but not to the same degree as, say, the tic-tac's aerodynamics, which break the laws of physics as we understand them.

This would mean that the tic-tac picked out those specific latitude, longitude and altitude numbers out of the FA-18s computer, understood them as coordinates, and decided to travel to them. It made some kind of judgement, maybe simply "this location is apparently significant", or "the apes intend to go here in the future", and took off. (I'm building up to more out-there speculation, bear with me).

I'm assuming the CAP coordinates were stored in the FA-18s flight computer and not on paper, or memorized, or whatever, which would make the situation substantially weirder.

2. It was actually going unusually slow

tic-tacs were observed on radar going from 80,000ft to 20,000 ft in 0.78 seconds, and then immediately back up (doing that instantaneous acceleration thing). These are the velocity, acceleration and power measurements from the appendix (the 6 second calculations were just included to show that it's all still completely insane even if you assume the 0.78 second measurement was an error and use a much longer duration)

code:
Trajectory Mode V(t) = Vm	     	Maximum Velocity 	    	 A(t) max acceleration	     P(T) maximum power Dissipation
Linear Velocity tm = 6 sec 	     	13,636.36 mph 	     		207.04 g’s 		     11.3 Gigawatts
Parabolic tm = 6 sec  		     	10,227.27 mph             	310.56 g’s 		     9.75 Gigawatts
Linear tm = 0.78 sec 		     	104,895 mph 		    	12,250 g’s 		     35.1265 x 10^3 Gigawatts
Parabolic tm = 0.78sec			78,409 mph 			18,385 g’s 		     4.44 x 10^3 Gigawatts
35.1265 x 10^3 Gigawatts is a small nuke's worth of power output (as noted in the footnotes). Also from the footnotes: "The speed at maximum velocity would cause melting of most metals and would be equivalent to
a meteorite entering the atmosphere from outer space." These are the observations that are being referenced when people say the tic-tacs 'break physics' (especially given that they don't create sonic booms, or emit exhaust heat). In contrast, when the tic-tac traveled to the CAP coordinates it was only going around ~2.5x the max speed of an F-22. The tic-tac was, notably, quite ~~leisurely~~ making its way there. I'll come back to this.

3. Most descriptions of tic-tac movement from the Nimitz encounter are like "it descended 60,000 ft from near-orbit, then went back up, for some reason" or "it was moving erratically, horizontally, 50 ft over the ocean". In comparison, going to the CAP coordinates is one of a select few observations of tic-tac behavior that read as 'intentional', at least as far as I'm aware. By 'intentional' I mean, very basically, that it clearly seems like the 'operator' or intelligence (however defined) in control of the tic-tac decided "I'm going to this specific location", and then went there, and that comports with human conceptions of decision-making and motivated behavior. I'm going to proceed to read a bunch into all this, obviously, and anthropomorphize the poo poo out of these tic-tacs, but that's the bare takeaway, and I think it's pretty interesting on it's own.

The interaction between the tic-tac and the FA-18 sent to intercept it is where the other noteworthy example of what looks like 'motivated' behavior happens. I'll just copy-paste the summary from the SCU paper:

As the FA-18 circles down towards the tic-tac, it apparently notices, and starts circling up towards the FA-18, "mirroring" it's movements.

I can understand that the writers of the paper don't want to editorialize details like this, but this is extremely weird. As has been noted repeatedly, tic-tac movement is generally linear, with near-instantaneous acceleration. They pick a destination and go straight there. They don't fly in parabolic trajectories or curves, because why would they? They clearly don't have 'wings', or anything that would serve to generate lift, as we understand it. The atmosphere just isn't a factor for them.

So when the tic-tac circles up, it's not just mindlessly mirroring the motion of the FA-18, it is 'performatively' mimicking the aerodynamics of human airplanes in earth's atmosphere. It's amused by the situation and playing pretend. Or doing the technological equivalent of 'baby talk'. I mean, it could go vertically straight up and sit on the FA-18's nose, if it wanted to.

So we're at item #5. In #6, the pilot of the FA-18 is a huge dick. In his own words,

I'm going to assume that the intelligence controlling the tic-tac interpreted the FA-18's actions as being aggressive, too, and that this is related to why it took off and traveled to the CAP coordinates. Two ideas:

1. It wanted to demonstrate superiority, but it lacked complete confidence in our capacity to measure its movement. So, it went at a superior speed (but not too fast) to a location it knew we knew (the CAP point). If they (the humans) know your starting location (where the FA-18 was being an rear end), and they know your ending location (the CAP point, which it can reasonably assume we're monitoring), and you're like 99.9% sure these apes can measure time, then you can be fairly confident they will be able to calculate your speed from this information, and hopefully realize they shouldn't be dive bombing you in their lovely loving planes.

2. It was all like, "LMAO oh no you didn't it is loving ON, HUNAM' It wanted to race! vroom vroom! Which is why it picked a location it knew we knew, like "race you to that tree!" It even went really, painfully slow so maybe we would catch up, but we didn't even try. Humanity got owned.

Alright that's all I got.
I was thinking about this, and while these craft seem to be breaking physical laws, they're not breaking others that we would expect them to. Like, we've never seen them teleport, open a wormhole, or travel superluminally. Instead, we see them accelerate instantly, travel without interacting with surrounding media, and gently caress with electronics.

I'm still on team Von Neumann probes propelled by spacetime distortion. Their power source for something that small would have to be equally sci-fi to produce that type of power, maybe antimatter, magnetic monopole catalyzed decay, or yanking energy from the false vacuum.

fanfic insert
Nov 4, 2009
its obviously atlantis time

if they dont tell us what happened to atlantis we could use the moment of their arrival (00:00 atlantis time) to pinpoint the location

A Time To Chill
Feb 26, 2007

it's MY disclosure and I need it NOW!

Mola Yam
Jun 18, 2004

Kali Ma Shakti de!
It's aitee here

No aliens yet

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

Mola Yam posted:

It's aitee here

No aliens yet

Are you thanking the sky?
You've got to make sure you are thanking the sky

Inspector Hound
Jul 14, 2003

Orbis Tertius posted:

There's a detail in the SCU analysis of the Nimitz encounter that has been bugging me, which is after the initial meeting of the UAP and the F/A-18s, the tic-tac zoomed off and made a beeline straight for the pilots' 'Hold Point':
.

Alright that's all I got.

A HUD image of the hold point overlaid on the camera/visor/camera? I can't stop thinking projected images or mirage of some kind; the cat chasing the laser pointer that's doing impossible things, because it's not actually there, it's being projected or is a reflection or etc

No it doesn't explain most of anything, but what the hell else is it

Basically,

A Time To Chill posted:

it's MY disclosure and I need it NOW!

Mola Yam
Jun 18, 2004

Kali Ma Shakti de!
it's night.

Sun up = thanks sky

Sun down = fuk u

Rah!
Feb 21, 2006


Barry Foster posted:

The Australian report was written to the government by a Bird Believer, not written by the government

Sadly

E although from the perspective of tyool 2021 I don't see why I should believe a government more than some crack pinged birdman tbf

do you have a source for that?

Because the declassified UFO documents are all on official paper with things like "Department of Defence Joint Intelligence Organization" on it, and are signed by dudes with titles like "Director" and "deputy director" and "wing commander" and "RAAF Intelligence representative"

e: and the writer of the report itself (or at the least the intro to it) was the head of the "Nuclear Branch"

Barry Foster posted:

Don't actually know, but I know they got a lot of their stuff from Jacques Valleé

Only the list of cases where UFOs allegedly affected the witnesses and/or technology, which was "collected by Dr Valle in collaboration with Dr Hynek at Northwestern University".

The first part of the report, which is a history of US and Australian government interactions with the UFO phenomenon from 1947-1971, came from other sources.

Rah! has issued a correction as of 15:50 on Jul 17, 2021

inferis
Dec 30, 2003

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt2245195/

Orbis Tertius
Feb 13, 2007

The problem with the psyop angle is that the messaging is like

- "We're dealing with phenomena beyond our understanding"
- "We have several instances on record of what seems to be technology beyond what is considered possible"
- "We're not saying it's Aliens...but we're also saying it's not ours or any other nation's...and we're referring to it as 'technology', soooooo...
- "If there is intelligence behind it, we are overwhelmingly out-classed."

( If this were a threat, we would not be able to protect you )

That is like, anti-propaganda. It's the kind of information you'd spread in a country to inspire uncertainty, fear and mistrust of the authority figures.

I'm not saying it's not an op, they're obviously managing the information to some end, but i think it's much more likely they're worried about lowest common denominator, bible-thumping America freaking the gently caress out more than anything.

Rah!
Feb 21, 2006



lol

bedpan
Apr 23, 2008

Orbis Tertius posted:

lowest common denominator, bible-thumping America

this describes the senior commands of the military and military intelligence community

A Time To Chill
Feb 26, 2007

bedpan posted:

this describes the senior commands of the military and military intelligence community

you'd think they'd lean into it more

"demons are real and here and we must raise an army of christ to defeat them (give us more money)"

fanfic insert
Nov 4, 2009
that would give satan advance warning

Rah!
Feb 21, 2006


so if the Australian UFO report was just written by a guy, rather than being ordered by the government itself, it still appears that the guy who wrote it was in charge of some serous poo poo, judging by his job leading the "Nuclear Branch" whatever that is.

And there's a document that appears to be responding the report, that says "appears to be sufficient evidence from RAAF and US investigations of UFO sightings to indicate that some reports cannot readily be explained by natural phenomena or man-made activities." And it's signed by the director of the Joint Intelligence Organization.

And the other declassified UFO documents, are also signed by national defense directors and intelligence dudes and RAAF dudes and whatnot, like i mentioned.

Rah! has issued a correction as of 16:13 on Jul 17, 2021

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

Delta-Wye posted:

black vault dropped a bombshell today - dod data retention practices are dogshit :laugh:
https://www.theblackvault.com/documentarchive/data-destruction-reveals-larger-issue-with-dod-records-retention/


this section is probably more interesting than the headline info:

im starting to suspect lue didn't run aatip, but was sitting in the center of the octopus playing gatekeeper and that may actually be better :shrug:

This one is twisting my head in
Director of any program is a huge loving deal in government hierarchy
you only get those positions if you have been doggedly loyal and pleased a lot of people throughout a long career

inferis
Dec 30, 2003

the aliens are gonna reschedule because covid cases are spiking everywhere

Barry Foster
Dec 24, 2007

What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Rah! posted:

do you have a source for that?

Because the declassified UFO documents are all on official paper with things like "Department of Defence Joint Intelligence Organization" on it, and are signed by dudes with titles like "Director" and "deputy director" and "wing commander" and "RAAF Intelligence representative"

e: and the writer of the report itself (or at the least the intro to it) was the head of the "Nuclear Branch"

Only the list of cases where UFOs allegedly affected the witnesses and/or technology, which was "collected by Dr Valle in collaboration with Dr Hynek at Northwestern University".

The first part of the report, which is a history of US and Australian government interactions with the UFO phenomenon from 1947-1971, came from other sources.

Not really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just what I remember reading on reddit

Don't get me wrong I'd love to be proven wrong

Tekne
Feb 15, 2012

It's-a me, motherfucker

Orbis Tertius posted:

The problem with the psyop angle is that the messaging is like

- "We're dealing with phenomena beyond our understanding"
- "We have several instances on record of what seems to be technology beyond what is considered possible"
- "We're not saying it's Aliens...but we're also saying it's not ours or any other nation's...and we're referring to it as 'technology', soooooo...
- "If there is intelligence behind it, we are overwhelmingly out-classed."

( If this were a threat, we would not be able to protect you )

That is like, anti-propaganda. It's the kind of information you'd spread in a country to inspire uncertainty, fear and mistrust of the authority figures.

I'm not saying it's not an op, they're obviously managing the information to some end, but i think it's much more likely they're worried about lowest common denominator, bible-thumping America freaking the gently caress out more than anything.
there's also that university of albany paper indicating that the tictac's feats requires power exceeding america's entire nuclear output by several orders of magnitude

so they're saying there are things in the sky that make the best jets look like kites and can generate more energy than the country's entire power infrastructure

bedpan
Apr 23, 2008

the defense establishment hasn't been able to reverse engineer and reproduce the recovered material. they've been working at it for decades and are still stumped. if they let people know what they have, they will be forced to give it up, and this they don't want to do.

Rah!
Feb 21, 2006


Barry Foster posted:

Not really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just what I remember reading on reddit

Don't get me wrong I'd love to be proven wrong

i made another post about it that i just edited:

Rah! posted:

so if the Australian UFO report was just written by a guy, rather than being ordered by the government itself, it still appears that the guy who wrote it was in charge of some serous poo poo, judging by his job leading the "Nuclear Branch" whatever that is.

And there's a document that appears to be responding to that report, that says "there appears to be sufficient evidence from RAAF and US investigations of UFO sightings to indicate that some reports cannot readily be explained by natural phenomena or man-made activities." And it's signed by the director of the Joint Intelligence Organization.

And the other declassified UFO documents, are also signed by national defense directors and intelligence dudes and RAAF dudes and whatnot, like i mentioned.

seems pretty legit IMO

but maybe its just very detailed bullshit lol

Rah! has issued a correction as of 16:13 on Jul 17, 2021

Koirhor
Jan 14, 2008

by Fluffdaddy
gonna get drunk and scream in the backyard until a tictac shows up to tell me wtf is going on

Bilirubin
Feb 16, 2014

The sanctioned action is to CHUG


Tom Gorman posted:

aiieeeee It's almost the big day I'm so nervous gosh I need to figure out what to wear

I'm working desperately to brush up on playing most of my bluegrass standards

Bilirubin
Feb 16, 2014

The sanctioned action is to CHUG


bedpan posted:

the defense establishment hasn't been able to reverse engineer and reproduce the recovered material. they've been working at it for decades and are still stumped. if they let people know what they have, they will be forced to give it up, and this they don't want to do.

gently caress you, bedpan, you stupid piece of poo poo.

Vomik
Jul 29, 2003

This post is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan
i'm sure the aliens are definitely coming to the US on eastern standard time but over half the earth is on sunday now, LETS ROLL

Vomik
Jul 29, 2003

This post is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan

Tekne posted:

there's also that university of albany paper indicating that the tictac's feats requires power exceeding america's entire nuclear output by several orders of magnitude

so they're saying there are things in the sky that make the best jets look like kites and can generate more energy than the country's entire power infrastructure

i mean yeah... all of our eyes operate on seeing light bouncing off objects which makes jets look like kites and when you look up at night or in the day almost every single object you see generates more energy than the country's entire power infrastructure

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Orbis Tertius
Feb 13, 2007

Tekne posted:

there's also that university of albany paper indicating that the tictac's feats requires power exceeding america's entire nuclear output by several orders of magnitude

so they're saying there are things in the sky that make the best jets look like kites and can generate more energy than the country's entire power infrastructure

yeah, like what I don’t get is what exactly happened to the risk/reward calculus to prompt the movement of this stuff into the realm of public relations. something changed, and it’s extremely weird, because I cannot see
what is gained by public awareness of incomprehensible entities tooling around the atmosphere, that make us look like primordial goop in comparison.

like the thought that keeps tickling my brain is “they don’t give a poo poo if Joe Rogan knows about Tic Tacs. they’re anticipating a future where having kept all the UAP poo poo secret and to themselves would be an extremely bad look”

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