- cruft
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Unless you've been living under a rock, you are aware that today is EFN's last day of work for this horrible jerk of a boss.
Let's see what the yob can cook up for comedy last day of work strategies. I'm looking for something EFN can do on this final episode of the season that will really get the home audience rolling in their seats.
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Aug 15, 2021 04:01
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- Adbot
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Jun 10, 2024 10:33
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- cruft
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Example (not funny enough, though): reveal that somehow, in a closet nobody ever checks, you've been creating a quality product that the company could take pride in. Pour a glass, chug it, wipe foam off mouth, and say "welp, good luck with your high school chemistry experiment" as you leave.
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Aug 15, 2021 04:04
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- xcheopis
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Leave a note saying that you've number the tanks cleaned today for easy reference and then do the ol' "1" "2" "4"
Driving down the continent with a pistol in her lap
Followed by a handsome man who says his name is Jack
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Aug 15, 2021 04:06
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- cruft
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This actually reminded me of a strategy I unintentionally invented at a job. I had this process set up to mail everybody on this list the pirate joke on the first of the month. You know the one, about the steering wheel on his crotch.
Aaaanyway, I forgot to turn that off before I left, and a few months later somebody from the company emailed me at home asking if I could remember where that job ran. It turned out that when I left, my jerk of a boss somehow inherited my mail account, so every time the joke went out, it looked like he was sending it.
My jerk of a boss did not have the same sense of humor I had, especially when it came to jokes about pirate crotches.
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Aug 15, 2021 04:07
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- cruft
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Find a battery-operated alarm clock with a very short alarm, like, 10 seconds or so. Set the alarm to go off at 10:00. Now place it somewhere very hard to find, maybe in the ceiling or behind the snack machine.
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Aug 15, 2021 04:31
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- cruft
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Trace around your hand with a crayon, decorate it like a turkey, and write a thank you note (in crayon) thanking everyone for letting you work with them and put the notes in their inboxes.
You could even claim this was a traditional last day ceremony in your native land, to show respect and gratitude.
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Aug 15, 2021 04:33
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- FutonForensic
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liberate the robots at the dick sucking trolley robot QA facility, cheering "you're free! you're free!" as they descend on the unsuspecting unsucked population
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Aug 15, 2021 04:34
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- cruft
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Take-Your-Musk-Ox-To-Work Day!
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Aug 15, 2021 04:45
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- cruft
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Blasting Winona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus in the fine dining establishment as I ride a dish trolley out the front door.
Folks never did figure out how she got there, but they sure remembered how she left. And that's how the legend of the trolley rider was born.
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Aug 15, 2021 04:58
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- cruft
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Spend the entire day turning your office into a miniature golf course.
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Aug 15, 2021 05:01
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- cruft
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Piņata in the break room, but it's filled with mayonnaise packets.
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Aug 15, 2021 05:14
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- cruft
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Tell everyone in the office your salary.
Oh my god. Where I work, there was a manager, decades ago, who posted all the salaries of everybody in the group just outside the group office. At the time, everybody's salary was a public record, but having them posted right there as a daily reminder made that place a complete shitshow.
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Aug 15, 2021 05:30
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- Escape From Noise
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I told my coworker what my salary was. He's criminally underpaid. Looks like he has some halfway decent leads on some new jobs in the area he wants to be though! I hope it works out for him!
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Aug 15, 2021 07:45
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- Escape From Noise
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Just continue to let poo poo like this lie around.
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Aug 15, 2021 07:46
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- Escape From Noise
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I made a playlist about work sucking/killing your boss and listened to it...on my headphones.
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Aug 15, 2021 07:47
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Print up fake flyers for a Ren-fest taking place in the office parking lot. Distribute at local universities and game stores.
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Aug 15, 2021 07:53
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- Escape From Noise
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Lol. The glycol system is making GBS threads the bed because there's a leak in the seam where the glycol atraches to the tank. It's spraying out at a pretty fast rate, like not enough to cause a flood, but enough to drain the system in a few days.
The good news is that this is for a tank that's currently empty and can be stopped until the seam was fixed by closing a valve installed between the glycol system and the tank jacket. The bad news is that my boss is too lazy/cheap to have had those valves installed. loving lol.
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Aug 15, 2021 08:44
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- idiotsavant
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why do all breweries ever always run on super deferred maintenance + hopes and prayers
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Aug 15, 2021 08:55
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- deep dish peat moss
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Insist that everyone watch your 1.5 hour performance art exhibition in the front lobby on their way home
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Aug 15, 2021 09:43
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- Escape From Noise
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why do all breweries ever always run on super deferred maintenance + hopes and prayers
Because we're going to make big bucks soon! I read that article about Hill Farmstead!
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Aug 15, 2021 09:55
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- Escape From Noise
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(Basically it's an industry full of rich people who want to get in on that "easy" money but the equipment is a lot more expensive and needs to be maintained really well)
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Aug 15, 2021 09:58
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- super sweet best pal
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Plug an etherkiller into something, probably a router or your boss' computer, and leave the electrical plug conspicuously next to an outlet.
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Aug 15, 2021 12:08
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- Finger Prince
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On a freight train like a drifter leaving town before the authorities start asking questions about the body down by the creek.
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Aug 15, 2021 18:58
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Play this over the intercom:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33izVlIOgnQ
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Aug 15, 2021 20:26
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- idiotsavant
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spank your boss to death
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Aug 15, 2021 20:34
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Jun 10, 2024 10:33
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