[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

zer0spunk posted:

also for the one or two goons who wanted to know: my moderna 1st shot five months after my j/j shot, no side effects other then a really sore arm in the injection site..other then that nothing. I had no side effects for the j/j shot either so I'm expecting moderna 2 to turn me into a frog or some poo poo

god speed on your quest to assume your proper form

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:33

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 04:26

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

Petey posted:

join me in salvation

At current prices this is $100,000 worth of wood.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:34

Relevant Tangent: Nov 18, 2016; Tangentially Relevant

a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

yeah whoever is pushing ivermectin is doing eugenics

grifters killing their marks is an unhelpful byproduct of a successful grift

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:35

Petey: Nov 26, 2005; For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Loucks posted:

At current prices this is $100,000 worth of wood.

untrue (it is priceless)

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:35

text editor: Jan 8, 2007

Petey posted:

untrue (it is priceless)

what did it cost (I bought a bar and plates a month ago but they are still in packaging until I decide what cage to get)

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:43

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

uber_stoat posted:

is this true?!?! i don't think it matters. everything is true now.

https://twitter.com/jeek/status/1434693778246340610?s=20

You have to take it for 11 months or more

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:44

RoboChrist 9000: Dec 14, 2006; Mater Dolorosa

jetz0r posted:

in 15 years, with 9 million dead

We are at around a million dead already in only slightly more than a year. I'm lolling at your naive optimism.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:46

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Petey posted:

she was the one who was on TPM trying to get people to stop saying vaccinated people were "infected" by the virus they were merely "colonized" by it

lmao

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:47

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

open biden

https://twitter.com/TheRealFolo/status/1434603152129601546

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:48

genericnick: Dec 26, 2012

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Finally got a squat rack, bench, pullup bar, a weight tree and 300#. Squats, deadlifts, bench and pullups in my garage are how I am "living with the virus".

(Also I cannot sit on the toilet because I did squats for the first time in 18 months and the DOMS are terrible lol)

My current home training equipment consists of one (1) kettle bell. Which is kind of good enough for how out of shape I am.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:48

deadwing: Mar 5, 2007

uber_stoat posted:

is this true?!?! i don't think it matters. everything is true now.

https://twitter.com/jeek/status/1434693778246340610?s=20

Un-dewormed sperm is the next Bitcoin

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:48

text editor: Jan 8, 2007

Mr Hootington posted:

You have to take it for 11 months or more

theres a sizable group popping it daily like a multivitamin thinking it prevents covid

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:50

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

there's a lot of poo poo if you take it for a long time it does weird things to your fertility

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:52

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

text editor posted:

theres a sizable group popping it daily like a multivitamin thinking it prevents covid

Good.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:52

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

text editor posted:

theres a sizable group popping it daily like a multivitamin thinking it prevents covid

Would love to see zuck taken down by a class action lawsuit from people who�s family members died taking horse paste based on what they saw on fb

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:52

Cup Runneth Over: Aug 8, 2009; She said life's
Too short to worry
Life's too long to wait
It's too short
Not to love everybody
Life's too long to hate

Zeroisanumber posted:

Welp, we're dead.

We're not that dead, yet

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:52

Bruce Hussein Daddy: Dec 26, 2005; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God

Petey posted:

join me in salvation

That looks much sturdier than the poo poo quality equipment I pieced together but it works. + I am hording all the planed wood I have.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:53

Koirhor: Jan 14, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Mr Hootington posted:

You have to take it for 11 months or more

hold your horses!!

# ? Sep 6, 2021 21:59

Saltpowered: Apr 12, 2010; Chief Executive Officer
Awful Industries, LLC

Rah! posted:

lmao i hope this is true

The study in question is either fake or particularly badly designed. However, there are plenty of animal studies that show significant impacts to fertility.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:01

A Bakers Cousin: Dec 18, 2003; by vyelkin

Petey posted:

join me in salvation

You may want to support that pull up bar with more than 12 nails

also a 2x4 and 2x6?????

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:01

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

text editor posted:

theres a sizable group popping it daily like a multivitamin thinking it prevents covid

I'm sure it will go along with other treatments like Alex Jones store supplements..

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:02

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Koirhor posted:

hold your horses!!

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:02

Ham Cheeks: Nov 18, 2012; Feeling hammy

Dustcat posted:

https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/status/1434943079572807687

looks like the ivermectin judge realized what he was about to unleash in letting people sue hospitals for not giving them the drugs they want

the bad of a worldwide pandemic, COVID-19

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:02

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

A Bakers Cousin posted:

You may want to support that pull up bar with more than 12 nails

also a 2x4 and 2x6?????

it's not bad for only having wings

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:05

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

remembering the dude that wanted to squirt ivermectin paste up his butt because it tasted bad.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:07

a few DRUNK BONERS: Mar 25, 2016

Relevant Tangent posted:

grifters killing their marks is an unhelpful byproduct of a successful grift

grifts that are too successful are wiped out after all their hosts die

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:07

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Schnorkles posted:

remembering the dude that wanted to squirt ivermectin paste up his butt because it tasted bad.

but they bought the apple flavor!

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:08

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

WampaLord posted:

but they bought the apple flavor!

How long until Amazon Prime starts selling house paste samplers?

Over 8 different flavors!

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:10

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

etalian posted:

How long until Amazon Prime starts selling house paste samplers?

Over 8 different flavors!

lol

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:11

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Schnorkles posted:

lol

Conservative bars will start offering a flight of different horse pastes.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:11

Fluffy Bunnies: Jan 10, 2009

legsarerequired posted:

I had read about covid deaths overwhelming funeral homes in Texas, but now I'm experiencing it for myself. My grandma died from Alzheimer's last Sunday and it's been truly strange. I feel weird typing this out because it's far from the worst thing going on right now, but I guess it feels jarring because it's another sign of things NOT being normal despite my friends having in-door celebrations (including a karaoke party!) and everyone joking about me being paranoid.

The chaplain told my parents that some people are waiting 2-3 weeks to bury their dead, because so many things are booked up right now--in-door spaces for visitation, for example. Because we are only doing an outdoor graveside service and won't need reservations for any in-door activities, we will be able to bury her within ten days of her passing. In contrast, we buried my grandfather within three days of his passing pre-pandemic.

The funeral home told my parents that they might not be able to find a minister to delivery my grandmother's eulogy due to everyone being booked up, even with my mother saying that a minister from any Christian denomination would work. My parents assumed they would be eulogizing for an audience of three when a minister called last-minute. I'm not an expert on funerals and this is the first family member whose funeral I've attended in years, but I have never heard of someone not being able to find a minister to eulogize.

This is definitely way back, but speak to the Unitarian Universalists. I've been working with them for a year-ish now doing exactly what your family needs. I'm working as a non-denominational minister because I'm pagan, but there are plenty of us who are doing this work for free that are christian denominations both via zoom and probably in your area. If they're booked, too, you may be stuck but it's worth looking into. Sorry about your grandmother. Alzheimer's is a hell of a rough thing on families.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:13

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

etalian posted:

Conservative bars will start offering a flight of different horse pastes.

i am eagerly awaiting the next miracle cure for covid

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:13

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

also remembering the dude on warfarin who took a bunch of ivermectin and 100% probably killed himself.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:14

Hollismason: Jun 30, 2007; An alright dude.

Schnorkles posted:

i am eagerly awaiting the next miracle cure for covid

Try to bring back smoke enemas , a real thing that people did in the like 17th century where they blew smoke up someones rear end which is where the phrase comes from

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:16

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Hollismason posted:

Try to bring back smoke enemas , a real thing that people did in the like 17th century where they blew smoke up someones rear end which is where the phrase comes from

I remember how it was considered a full proof cure for things like someone who almost drowned.

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:17

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Schnorkles posted:

also remembering the dude on warfarin who took a bunch of ivermectin and 100% probably killed himself.

Lmao do those do bad things together? Warfarin is hosed, you can't have any grapefruit, garlic, ginger, or mango, and can't eat too much raw vegetables and whole grains

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:17

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Chamale posted:

Lmao do those do bad things together? Warfarin is hosed, you can't have any grapefruit, garlic, ginger, or mango, and can't eat too much raw vegetables and whole grains

oh yeah, he started bleeding all over the place internally

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:18

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

doctor i started making GBS threads blood after i took ivermectin

maybe don't do that

this is the libs fault, i must keep taking ivermectin

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:19

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

Petey posted:

untrue (it is priceless)

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:19

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 04:26

Twigand Berries: Sep 7, 2008

Rah! posted:

open biden

https://twitter.com/TheRealFolo/status/1434603152129601546

This is amazing. When I was a Paramedic I had a day where I had elderly falls one after another I think at least 11 in a row. Half of them had vasovagaled themselves on the toilet which usually isn't the worst fall other than there's poops about but man we should put one of these on everybody over 60

# ? Sep 6, 2021 22:21

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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