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LLSix posted:What I like most about Forge of Destiny is that it has believable people behaving mostly reasonably. It is depressing how frequently all forms of media force characters to carry the idiot ball or otherwise act obviously contrary to their interests. Assuming you're at the part that absolutely everyone hated when it first came out, it eventually pivots pretty hard away from that. I did not like book 2 very much but do like book 3.
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Oct 15, 2021 03:56
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Plorkyeran posted:Assuming you're at the part that absolutely everyone hated when it first came out, it eventually pivots pretty hard away from that. I did not like book 2 very much but do like book 3. I'm going to admit that part didn't bother me. Not just didn't bother, even, but when the author commented about all the negative feedback I thought long and hard and couldn't figure out what other people didn't like. I guess it just goes to show how tastes differ.
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Oct 15, 2021 07:26
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Ytlaya posted:I feel like Outcast In Another World needs to start being a little cautious about the abilities the protagonist is getting with his "pump all stats into vitality" strategy. It's starting to get to the point where it's kind of unbelievable that humans in this setting didn't constantly use such a build themselves. It's not like Rob is the only character who doesn't want to die and would feel compelled to put points into the "literal life force" stat, or that other past humans wouldn't have realized "Berserker lets one turn all this extra HP into damage." For non-humans it makes sense, since they level more slowly and wouldn't normally be able to get their vitality high enough to be worth it, but the "pump everything into vitality + Berserker class" thing is kind of becoming "overpowered" in a sense where you'd think humans would have just chosen that route en masse in the past. One of the key reasons that Rob's strategy works is because he managed to snag Regeneration and Lifesurge early on - both are Skills with harsh prerequisites that very few people will ever manage to achieve without just straight-up dying instead. Regrow Limb is 'easier' to get, but it's also a Prerequisite where if you're in a combat situation where you just lost a limb, you're probably going to bite it. Without those Skills, he (and everyone else he knows) would have bought the farm early on. The thing about focusing on Vitality instead of say, Strength or Dexterity, is that injuries are still going to suck even with a higher HP pool and defensive buffs. You're going to feel weaker and overall not fight at your best, leading to further injuries. And unless you have a Healer on call, you're looking at a painful recovery, potential crippling wounds, and/or death from blood loss. There's actually an upcoming chapter (much later on) that shows what happens to tanky combatants who get grievously injured and don't have access to free rare healing. It's not great for them. Meanwhile, high Dexterity people have a much easier time not getting hit in the first place, while high Strength people can overpower their opponents and win quickly win engages with a few good blows. In a world where 99% of people don't have Regeneration and Lifesurge, you reaaally want to avoid getting hit as much as possible. As for Berserker, it's not a class that's very good against fighting people in general. It's one of the only Classes that comes without a Skill dedicated to improving weapon proficiency, which means that equal-leveled fighters will generally be more skilled than you for less work. Lifesteal is only good if you can actually hit your opponent, and the healing is actually fairly small unless you're fighting another person with lots of HP. Rampage is a very solid offensive move, but it's not any better than the offensive Skills other Classes have. Rob's Vitality 100 Skill is extremely strong and synergizes crazy good with Lifesteal, but there's still the matter of hitting an opponent who's inherently better with their weapon of choice than you are (and put points into Dexterity and Strength), and other 100 Skills are *also* crazy good regardless. Blood for Blood only matters if you're hitting them, and is less effective if you don't focus on Vitality, which hurts your Dexterity and Strength...see where I'm going with this? I'm not saying that Berserkers are never going to tag their opponents, but they're going to have a tougher time of it than other Classes. They have to get 'luckier' than their opponent to win. Most people prefer consistency. Look at some other Classes versus the standard Berserker. A Warrior with a greatsword probably beats the poo poo out of them in most cases. A Ranger or a Mage at a fair distance is going to grievously injure them before they get close without spamming Rampage, which will leave the Berserker with low mana and fresh out of Class Skills to use. In that case, the Ranger runs away with their higher Dexterity and goes back to shooting from afar. The Mage has a tougher time, but there are spells that can deal with people at close range, and if the Party's Mage was left unattended then something went bad anyway. Swordmaster has inherent abilities that increase Dexterity and will likely never get hit. You can see this in Rob's fight against the Elven Swordsmaster; he couldn't even touch her and almost got his head chopped off in one attack, although a big part of that was his own lack of personal fighting experience. Vanguard loses, but Vanguard isn't supposed to win 1 v 1 in general. What Berserker IS great at is fighting monsters, as monsters use less strategy and fight more recklessly than people do. Suddenly it gets a lot easier to hit/dodge your opponent and your Skills start mattering. Rob has almost exclusively fought monsters up until this point, which is part of the reason he isn't dead. KamikazePotato fucked around with this message at 07:53 on Oct 15, 2021 |
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Oct 15, 2021 07:50
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awesmoe posted:That’s what the elves in outcast did so all had the same Savagely Optimized ranger build even when it didn’t spark joy (and they got rolled when something that it wasn’t optimized for showed up) Honestly that's still carrying an idiot ball. There's a reason why armies in the real world have a variety of different roles and have had since early in history. Even someone who isn't a military expert like me know that much. I mean, in my story Slime Slime Slime there are broadly accepted ways to distribute your stats for different aims and militaries are terrifyingly optimized with standard builds that complement each other. The only reason there aren't many high level powerhouses is that xp doesn't exist and the only way to level up is to overcome a substantially risky challenge. This presents two barriers: not dying (or for crafters becoming super broke) and finding a suitable challenge (difficult if you don't want to travel far and wide). Mind, classes are often somewhat personalized which means people sometimes have to fall back on their own judgment for what abilities to pick up but no real trap options exist anyways.
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Oct 15, 2021 12:09
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personally im tired of litrpg bullshit and the less it matters the better. it just doesn't make any drat sense! either you fully embrace the game like arbitrary bullshit or it somehow gets more strange and convuluted trying to square the round peg.
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Oct 15, 2021 13:29
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Kaja Rainbow posted:Honestly that's still carrying an idiot ball. There's a reason why armies in the real world have a variety of different roles and have had since early in history. Even someone who isn't a military expert like me know that much. I mean, in my story Slime Slime Slime there are broadly accepted ways to distribute your stats for different aims and militaries are terrifyingly optimized with standard builds that complement each other. The only reason there aren't many high level powerhouses is that xp doesn't exist and the only way to level up is to overcome a substantially risky challenge. This presents two barriers: not dying (or for crafters becoming super broke) and finding a suitable challenge (difficult if you don't want to travel far and wide). they weren't a military force; they were a town militia ruled by extremely old people extremely set in their ways
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Oct 15, 2021 14:51
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A big flaming stink posted:they weren't a military force; they were a town militia ruled by extremely old people extremely set in their ways That makes sense then.
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Oct 15, 2021 17:30
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TW: mind-rape, noncon, slavery, misogyny, nsfl more I guess? Ch 48-52 of fates parallel  Answering the questions no one ever wanted to ask or even be presented with. Is there a multi-track drifting equivalent but it’s mind-rape? If you pull someone out of their soul and then wander around in their dream while wearing their body is that soul, mind, or body rape? If your friend the reformed(?!) mind rapist(1) rescues you from betrayal by your other friend the mind rapist(2) forcing you to leave your other-soul behind in a coma to be worn like a pair of clothes by the ex-friend mind rapist(2) who betrayed you, is that somehow more morally acceptable mind rape? If your reformed mind-rape friend (1) then coerces you without mind rape by threatening you with causing worldwide war to negotiate with another associate (3) and tells you to offer all of yourself to them, is anything you offer legitimate? If they (3) then threaten to bind your soul for eternity, what now? Finally which of 1, 2, 3 are you most Stockholm syndrome friends with, and will continue to associate with going forward it seems? (Answer, all three?!?) Oh John ringo no….wait, wrong author, same feeling though. Do not read Fates Parallel.
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Oct 15, 2021 18:30
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A big flaming stink posted:they weren't a military force; they were a town militia ruled by extremely old people extremely set in their ways I'm pretty sure that even villagers can figure out that you don't want everyone in your village to be good at the same thing.
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Oct 15, 2021 18:46
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Anias posted:TW: mind-rape, noncon, slavery, misogyny, nsfl more I guess? There's like, a billion books/games/etc with some form of spell or technique that lets people control someone else's body, and the whole incident you're describing involves zero sex or sexualization despite your attempt to imply otherwise by using words like "noncon." And I don't even know where the misogyny bit comes from since every single character in the example is a girl and run the complete spectrum of personalities and alignments. Warning I guess, Fates Parallel involves a body control/sensory manipulation technique, and also actually a full on mental domination one possessed by a friendly character that doesn't abuse it for ethical reasons. If that alone is a deal killer for you don't read it, if it's not it's a good series. It also involves someone pledging themselves as a vassal in a feudal society, which apparently some people translate as slavery; she does this because she needs protection from the powerful enemies she's (unintentionally) made, which is coercion of a sort, but is done in good faith by both her and the noble she's swearing allegiance to. Bremen fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Oct 15, 2021 |
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Oct 15, 2021 19:59
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I guess there's the bit where she flirts with ex-girlfriend-noble?  It does have long-term consequences and I think they'll ever entirely forgive her for it. I had issues with the swearing fealty thing because Jia has been all about not being beholden to anyone throughout the whole thing, and it just felt like a trope that was being done for the sake of it and not because it actually fit with the character. It's pretty much been retconned out now anyway. My issues with Fates are more.. Eui isn't really a main character? She gets the odd line and we get told her personality, but we never see anything from her pov and she's just doesn't feel as fleshed out as she should be, for somebody that's 50% of the protagonist. Half the conversations where she and Jia are there, she doesn't even get any lines, at one point when she does get lines, she gets magically silenced for it! Even the spirit-animal inside her says she doesn't get enough spotlight.
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Oct 15, 2021 21:59
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Nettle Soup posted:My issues with Fates are more.. Eui isn't really a main character? She gets the odd line and we get told her personality, but we never see anything from her pov and she's just doesn't feel as fleshed out as she should be, for somebody that's 50% of the protagonist. Half the conversations where she and Jia are there, she doesn't even get any lines, at one point when she does get lines, she gets magically silenced for it! She feels like more of a third of the protagonist (or less). Yoshika and Jia do have different voices, but Yoshika is often just "slightly cruder Jia" rather than feeling like a blend of the two. Eui is more introverted and anti-social while Jia is outgoing and friendly so it makes sense for Jia to have a lot more lines, but that means that the story really needs to find other ways to develop Eui and I agree that it hasn't really succeeded at that.
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Oct 15, 2021 22:24
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Ahaha, that silly chicken. You tell em Big Dee
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Oct 15, 2021 22:47
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90s Cringe Rock posted:What do you mean? The first 7 chapters of book 2 involve every single character carrying the idiot ball. Nobody is acting in their own best interest and some of them are making decisions even an idiot wouldn't, much less those particular characters. Book 2 also introduces an antagonist with the ability to fully fake reality to such an extent that people under her technique can't tell when other people are touching or even picking up and carrying them. (Let's leave aside for the moment the question of how one person can carry two people at once. Or how nobody in a busy campus notices her doing so.) The book also brings back problems that the end of book 1 explicitly swept under the rug as non-issues in a fashion that usually indicates the author didn't want to deal with them. Preventing your characters (or in this case players since the author has said that the story started as a CYOA) from taking reasonable precautions and then punishing them for it is deeply unfair. More importantly, after being literally kidnapped and repeatedly threatened with death the two MCs (okay one and a half MCs) decide to be friends with miss technically-not-a-mind-controller (the person who can create fake realities or whatever you want to call it) and even live with her. There's simply no way this would end well. It's beyond belief that Eui, one of the two MCs, wouldn't just murder her in her sleep. The author tries to present this as the MCs having no other options, but they've got lots of options. The simplest and most obvious is that the kidnappers are not students. That means they somehow snuck in through the shield barrier (one wonders how they managed this). The Elders are well within their rights to just kill them all. Or kill the two who aren't "nice" and give the third one her own home. 2 out of the 6 Elders have a vested interest in the MC's success and either alone could handle the problem. Apparently, I haven't even gotten to the bad part yet. I'm only at chapter 40. Anias posted:TW: mind-rape, noncon, slavery, misogyny, nsfl more I guess?
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Oct 15, 2021 22:58
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LLSix posted:The first 7 chapters of book 2 involve every single character carrying the idiot ball. Nobody is acting in their own best interest and some of them are making decisions even an idiot wouldn't, much less those particular characters. Book 2 also introduces an antagonist with the ability to fully fake reality to such an extent that people under her technique can't tell when other people are touching or even picking up and carrying them. (Let's leave aside for the moment the question of how one person can carry two people at once. Or how nobody in a busy campus notices her doing so.) You're welcome to like or dislike whatever you like, but I did feel I should add a correction; the kidnappers are indeed students, and she was assigned to live with them by one of the school elders. In addition, the students that kidnapped her are explicitly working under the orders of one of the school's other elders, who they name, and Jia and Eui could be hauled off and executed without the other elders being able to do much about it if they decide to do that. Like, say, if they murder Yue. Bremen fucked around with this message at 00:37 on Oct 16, 2021 |
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Oct 16, 2021 00:12
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Backseat writers are the worst
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Oct 16, 2021 00:26
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Bremen posted:You're welcome to like or dislike whatever you like, but I did feel I should add a correction; the kidnappers are indeed students, and she was assigned to live with them by one of the school elders. In addition, the students that kidnapped her are explicitly working under the orders of one of the school's other elders, who they name, and Jia and Eui could be hauled off and executed without the other elders being able to do much about it if they decide to do that. Like, say, if they murder Yue. How can they be students if they’re hiding? They said they didn’t want anyone to know where they are and they made a big deal about not wanting anyone to see them.
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Oct 16, 2021 01:15
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LLSix posted:How can they be students if they’re hiding? They said they didn’t want anyone to know where they are and they made a big deal about not wanting anyone to see them. They aren't hiding that they're at the school; Yan Yue even mentions having a dorm room. They just took Jia and Eui somewhere out of sight to question them.
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Oct 16, 2021 02:06
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FYI if you're employed in wage labor you're basically a slave too. just because you get to choose what master to work for doesn't mean you're free. if the feudalism is a concern, it's a pretty silly one.
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Oct 16, 2021 02:30
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White Chocolate posted:As a writer I gotta ask what makes it better than the similar stuff? Better prose? 2 dimensional characters? Something it just lacks? For me it is just a really sedate pleasure. The world feels very lived in versus other stuff that is similar. Like consider the overly formal way in which everyone interacts in public. Something like that makes sense for a world where some random hobo could be a demi-god capable of vaporizing you with a thought. That social contract acts as a lubricant of safety between all the different levels of society, as well as a framework for dealing with spirits. It also has been a pleasure watching the MC and her liege be completely formal between one another and the progression over time into true friendship is great to read, as that formality becomes nuanced enough that you get they are just ribbing each other at times. And, the rare moments where the characters cast off all the barriers and just level as people with one another are really memorable and powerful as a result. Sorry I rambled there but I hope that gives, at least, a half-assed impression of why I enjoy it.
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Oct 16, 2021 03:24
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Anias posted:TW: mind-rape, noncon, slavery, misogyny, nsfl more I guess? Hi! I'm the author of Fates Parallel. I noticed that I've been getting a bunch of referrals from here lately and I thought I'd come check it out. As you can imagine, I'm not too surprised to see my most controversial chapters being discussed, and I assure you it's nothing I haven't heard before. That said, I thought I might remind you that there is, in fact, a real human being behind the keyboard creating those words, with real human feelings, rather than a soulless punching bag. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about what I've written or why I wrote it the way that I did, and I pride myself on maintaining a high level of reader engagement (probably more than is healthy, to be perfectly honest). I'm happy to accept criticism, and I readily acknowledge that I made a lot of mistakes in the second volume--mistakes that I have learned from, and plan to correct to the best of my ability in future revisions. Frankly though, this comes across as senselessly vitriolic and unproductive. You've not only misrepresented the facts and misconstrued the motives of the characters involved, you've also taken it a step further in your uncharitability and attacked my character as a person. I recognize that this wasn't directed at me, and it wasn't intended as feedback for me to receive, so I'm willing to grant a certain amount of leeway. Even so, I don't think that this level of hostility is warranted, and I don't appreciate being so dramatically misrepresented.
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Oct 16, 2021 14:02
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Paying $10 to tell everyone how extremely not mad I am about criticism
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Oct 16, 2021 14:16
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mossyfisk posted:Paying $10 to tell everyone how extremely not mad I am about criticism Strictly speaking, I had to pay $10 just to see the criticism in the first place. I like knowing what people are saying about my story, so it was well worth it already, but at that point it felt like a waste not to at least say something.
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Oct 16, 2021 14:29
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the comment they are responding to is, in fact, kind of senselessly vitriolic lol. the consequences of those events shake out in a reasonable way and also jia literally has huge trust issues (i.e. she trusts everybody too much), the problem being described (remaining buddies with questionable people that have mind-controlled you or taken advantage of you) is a deliberate character flaw she works to overcome!! i read all of the public chapters for fates parallel over the last few days and liked it a lot. i don't really have any problems with any individual event in book 2 but i did feel like jia and eui were hit by so many negative events at once that it detracted from the overall vibe of the story; at the same time, i'm glad that this isn't just endless progression fantasy where the protagonists never suffer real setbacks. on the other hand, paying  to berate a reader talking about the story on a forum is weird. have you considered just talking to us instead of... whatever this is? nobody is trying to attack you personally
Jazerus fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Oct 16, 2021 |
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Oct 16, 2021 14:32
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mossyfisk posted:Paying $10 to tell everyone how extremely not mad I am about criticism You seem like a piece of poo poo.
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Oct 16, 2021 14:38
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Jazerus posted:the comment they are responding to is, in fact, kind of senselessly vitriolic lol I'd be happy to! I knew that the characters needed some setbacks, and particularly some time "apart" in order to facilitate character growth. I may have overcorrected a little bit on that front and forgotten to put some progression in my progression fantasy novel. The execution and definitely the framing around that whole situation could have been done a lot better, but I am glad to have learned from the experience.
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Oct 16, 2021 14:41
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I feel like they did forgive Yue way too easily. Going back and looking at those chapters, they're the ones where Yue betrays them and breaks the bond. > If you pull someone out of their soul and then wander around in their dream while wearing their body is that soul, mind, or body rape? Yua takes them over and breaks the bond. > If your friend the reformed(?!) mind rapist(1) rescues you from betrayal by your other friend the mind rapist(2) forcing you to leave your other-soul behind in a coma to be worn like a pair of clothes by the ex-friend mind rapist(2) who betrayed you, is that somehow more morally acceptable mind rape? Eunae undoes it and gets Jia out, but leaves Eui behind. > If your reformed mind-rape friend (1) then coerces you without mind rape by threatening you with causing worldwide war to negotiate with another associate (3) and tells you to offer all of yourself to them, is anything you offer legitimate? Eunae tells them to bind to Hayakawa to fix stuff. > If they (3) then threaten to bind your soul for eternity, what now? Hayakawa is like "okay but this is forever lol" > Finally which of 1, 2, 3 are you most Stockholm syndrome friends with, and will continue to associate with going forward it seems? (Answer, all three?!?) I split it up a bit to work out what was actually going on with the post, but I don't think this is lies or slander. It's literally what happens within the text. Yue takes them over, Eunae kicks Jia out of it, Jia pledges herself to Hayakawa. It's a little touchy for a while, but in the end, the elders decree "no you must live with your rapist in a small space, while under house arrest for some reason" and everyone just accepts that and now they're all friends, or if not entirely yet, will be by the end of the story. It's kinda hosed up. mossyfisk posted:Paying $10 to tell everyone how extremely not mad I am about criticism Also lol.
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Oct 16, 2021 14:45
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Nettle Soup posted:I feel like they did forgive Yue way too easily. Going back and looking at those chapters, they're the ones where Yue betrays them and breaks the bond. jia and eui contemplate killing yue. they treat her like poo poo for months (i think? keeping track of time when meditation can cause a two week timeskip is complicated) and ultimately decide she's okay after she helps them out several times, but it isn't anything like "yeah okay we're friends forever immediately". also like, keep in mind that qin is a hosed up turbomurder cultivation land and everyone in-setting knows it - part of the main cast's acceptance of yue comes from her demonstrating that she wants to break away from qin's norms, which are what motivated her to behave the way she did in the first place. elder qin, similarly, may be a "progressive" cultivator but he's still from turbomurder cultivation land and he doesn't give a single poo poo about anyone's emotions which is why he imposed the house arrest in the way that he did. these are all character flaws that are supposed to be hosed up and bad! i don't particularly understand the poo poo aimed at the deal with hayakawa (given that jia eventually convinces hayakawa it wasn't freely consented to or politically wise at all) or at eunae's role in the whole thing. Jazerus fucked around with this message at 15:07 on Oct 16, 2021 |
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Oct 16, 2021 14:57
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been reading ave xia rem y recently. really enjoy it so far, hope it doesn't turn to poo poo e: lol i did not read the thread before posting SerSpook fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Oct 16, 2021 |
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Oct 16, 2021 15:10
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I read all of "Her Golemancer Girlfriend" over the last couple of days and quite enjoyed it. It's about a half-golem, half-human, all wrecking-ball on a mission to take down a mega-corp and find her missing girlfriend. I just caught up at chapter 48, and am interested to see where it goes from here. After that I finally decided to check out Katalepsis, and it's very good, but it's also giving me mad anxiety... I had to get up at one point and go give my partner a hug.
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Oct 16, 2021 15:32
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Nettle Soup posted:After that I finally decided to check out Katalepsis, and it's very good, but it's also giving me mad anxiety... I had to get up at one point and go give my partner a hug. Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hope the anxiety isn't too bad. Unless it's the good, narrative-related kind. If you don't mind me asking, is it the content causing that? The themes the story touches on? Something else? Again, if you're uncomfortable answering, please don't feel you have to.
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Oct 16, 2021 15:41
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I'm from Manchester and I think you just write the air of a dead-end mill town too well. Places you go through on the train but never stop at. Edit for less frivalry: It's a good anxiety, I want to know where it's going and I don't want people to get hurt. I also kinda want Raine to just let up a bit and everyone to stop shouting at each other.  (at chapter 2.10 atm)Probably also the mental health themes. That anxiety of.. Unreality, not knowing if the world around you is real or if you're lying in a corner somewhere drooling while your mind makes everything up. Those first few chapters are rough, but rightly so, and it seems to be letting up a little now. Nettle Soup fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Oct 16, 2021 |
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Oct 16, 2021 15:55
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Nettle Soup posted:I'm from Manchester and I think you just write the air of a dead-end mill town too well. Places you go through on the train but never stop at. Thank you so much. It is incredibly gratifying to hear that I've captured that feeling of the post-industrial North. Most of my readers are Americans, so while they get it, maybe they don't get it, you know? Raine's long-term arc is one of the most oft-discussed aspects of the story, so hopefully you're in for a treat there. As for the mental health themes, I'll put this behind spoiler tags even if it's not really a spoiler, it's just me showing of my behind-the-scenes intentions: You're right, those themes do let up, at least in the form they appear during the opening. One of my major intentions with the opening parts of Katalepsis was to take certain overused tropes about mental health in urban fantasy and cosmic horror and examine them from a different angle. I've intentionally rejected the "mad person can see the truth of the world" trope and replaced it with Heather having been subjected to medicalisation of a condition that in the end is not in her head at all, and how that's affected her. It's not meant to be a metaphor for anything one thing specifically, but you can read a lot of things into it. Mental health never goes away as a theme, but it changes.
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Oct 16, 2021 16:42
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Yeah, I like that even if the original mental-health issues were external rather than internal, that experience and subsuquent mistreatment has still left her with problems all of it's own. You don't come out of that unscathed and you don't ever entirely get over it.
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Oct 16, 2021 17:12
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DarkTechnomancer posted:I'd be happy to! I knew that the characters needed some setbacks, and particularly some time "apart" in order to facilitate character growth. I may have overcorrected a little bit on that front and forgotten to put some progression in my progression fantasy novel. The execution and definitely the framing around that whole situation could have been done a lot better, but I am glad to have learned from the experience. Fwiw, I stopped reading your story because the entire sharing memories/visions of each other while meditating seemed super contrived to make them friends rather than anything organic, plus I despise people writing the word "hehe" in every other sentence.
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Oct 16, 2021 17:57
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Galick posted:Fwiw, I stopped reading your story because the entire sharing memories/visions of each other while meditating seemed super contrived to make them friends rather than anything organic, plus I despise people writing the word "hehe" in every other sentence. Fair enough, that's pretty much the premise of the story so if you didn't like it then that's that. I do tone down Dae's tic significantly in the ebook version, though. Even I got annoyed by it while reading through multiple chapters in a single editing pass.
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Oct 16, 2021 18:05
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Oh, neat. Hello, DarkTechnomancer. I started reading your story when this thread's discussion of it picked up a few days back. So far, I'm at like... chapter 8? The main character and the psycho knife chucking roommate have pledged friendship after zapping each other with magical empathy waves, and they just got a big chapterlong lecture on how the world's magic system works. No stat sheets, thankfully, but there's a LOT of names to keep track of, and I feel like I am going to struggle to remember who is who without more distinct character voices and signifiers. Still, I am enjoying what I've read so far. The dialogue feels a little flat, but I like the main character, appreciate the fact that in spite of the bad times they've had, they are still willing to DO stuff instead of moping around. From what people are saying about the main char's over-trusting in others turning into a bit of a character flaw later, I am interested to see where that goes. I can definitely see that the story where I am right now could use a bit of conflict, and if the knife psycho is out of play that probably means we're going to see some other jerk students. Looking forward to seeing what happens next, thanks for the story!
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Oct 16, 2021 18:22
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avoraciopoctules posted:No stat sheets, thankfully, but there's a LOT of names to keep track of, and I feel like I am going to struggle to remember who is who without more distinct character voices and signifiers. Still, I am enjoying what I've read so far. The dialogue feels a little flat, but I like the main character, appreciate the fact that in spite of the bad times they've had, they are still willing to DO stuff instead of moping around. I found most of the characters pretty distinctive once I got a bit further. Except the two (not horrible) Qin guys, I always got them mixed up. And something I definitely appreciated about book 2 is there was no moping around being depressed or complaining (correctly) about how unfair things were. When everything goes to hell, she just does what she can and tries to make the best of it. I found it pretty refreshing.
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Oct 16, 2021 18:29
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Bremen posted:I found most of the characters pretty distinctive once I got a bit further. Except the two (not horrible) Qin guys, I always got them mixed up. That's really nice to hear  I know lots of serials start off pretty rough, now I'm really hyped to see how the characters evolve!Also glad to hear that the protagonist stays willing to engage with their problems. It's definitely true to life that people can be overwhelmed and shut down, but I much prefer characters who make the best of things and try to have some fun along the way.
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Oct 16, 2021 18:38
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DarkTechnomancer posted:I'd be happy to! I knew that the characters needed some setbacks, and particularly some time "apart" in order to facilitate character growth. I may have overcorrected a little bit on that front and forgotten to put some progression in my progression fantasy novel. The execution and definitely the framing around that whole situation could have been done a lot better, but I am glad to have learned from the experience. when you do the ebook version maybe the hayakawa thing could be less abrupt? i know it was supposed to be shocking, but it can maybe be shocking when jia reveals it a couple of chapters after they recover from saving eui and start trying to re-bond instead of feeling like such a dark twist on top of all of the bad poo poo they just experienced. that's the only issue i had with it really, i didn't need more progression - just a bit more room for each crisis to breathe on its own. Bremen posted:I found most of the characters pretty distinctive once I got a bit further. Except the two (not horrible) Qin guys, I always got them mixed up. it would be cool to see more of guan yi and especially xin wei - they don't show up much anymore for how prominent they were early on
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Oct 16, 2021 18:41
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