[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Nothus: Feb 22, 2001; Buglord

slave to my cravings posted:

they aren�t even going to enforce their fully vaccinated mandate to any meaningful degree. no way more than 30% of the eligible population gets a third shot

You're right, vaccine mandates are dying in the courts (pun intended) but they'll keep the mush-mouthed PSAs going until the GOP takeover is complete and we all become Florida.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:09

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 20:09

Paradoxish: Dec 19, 2003; Will you stop going crazy in there?

Nothus posted:

Not just chuds. The ones dying are always going to be the group you hate and your friends and family that die are always outliers who had bad luck.

Already happened with the (young) teacher I know that died last year. It's basically like it never happened when I talk to anyone about COVID. I don't even have a joke about it, it's just loving depressing as hell that this guy has been more or less memory-holed by his friends.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:10

mystes: May 31, 2006

text editor posted:

ever hear of that thing they do to pageant kids where they smear vaseline on their teeth to force the smiling muscle memory for stage and cameras? I think she's doing that

Could people in this thread stick to criticism Monica Gandhi for being wrong about everything rather than the way she smiles or something? This is getting a little uncomfortable.

She's not a lizard person, she just has very bad opinions.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:12

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Hatebag posted:

Maybe they aren't hugging and kissing wild rats. There's not much covid in china at least. how much direct interaction do people have with rats? Rats avoid people, they practice social distancing. So if there's not a lot of human covid there's probably not much rat covid. If a few of em got it though they'd probably spread it real quick but I'm not sure that would matter because they have tiny little lungs right next to the ground. Doubt they would spread covid too much. May generate new fun variants though

The thing is, they don't need to spread it to humans a lot. They only need to do it once, in the right circumstances, and the infections start spreading among humans again. It's not like there were hundreds of bats each infecting dozens of humans in Wuhan. If it's an insanely infectious strain like omicron it could already be spreading in several countries before anyone notices it.

Also it's not unknown for intermediary species to pass along a virus from a zoonotic reservoir.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:13

Serf: May 5, 2011

https://twitter.com/lib_crusher/status/1471120511920853001?s=20

literally what brainless libs say china is doing lol

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:14

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

Kylaer posted:

Because covid was the result of gain-of-function research performed in Wuhan at the direction of Peter Daszak's EcoHealth Alliance, funded by the U.S. NIH. The pandemic started because of a lab leak. Both governments know this and neither will ever acknowledge it.

actually,

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:14

Arivia: Mar 17, 2011

Kylaer posted:

Because covid was the result of gain-of-function research performed in Wuhan at the direction of Peter Daszak's EcoHealth Alliance, funded by the U.S. NIH. The pandemic started because of a lab leak. Both governments know this and neither will ever acknowledge it.

i want to see sources for whatever this is

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:15

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Kylaer posted:

Because covid was the result of gain-of-function research performed in Wuhan at the direction of Peter Daszak's EcoHealth Alliance, funded by the U.S. NIH. The pandemic started because of a lab leak. Both governments know this and neither will ever acknowledge it.

this, but Fort Detrick

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:17

Palladium: May 8, 2012; Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

Arivia posted:

i want to see sources for whatever this is

its in the crate with the iraqi baby incubators that are filled with laundry powder

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:17

jinx_player: Aug 25, 2018

RoboChrist 9000 posted:

So out of curiosity; why is this happening? Like I don't mean in a moral/spiritual sense, or why the world leaders are behaving as they are. I mean, like, why is COVID-19 doing what it's doing?
Wet markets are not a new thing. Bats are not a new thing. Bats living in areas with humans are not a new thing. And I mean look at the common cold coronaviruses and other coronaviruses, none of which are new.

I get how the vaccination and whatnot are applying selection pressures, because evolution is one of the few parts of biology I do have a pretty good grasp on, but like yeah. My question is basically why is this just happening now? Why didn't COVID-1999 happen? Or COVID 2009? Like it seems to me all you needed for this to happen were a vector for bat to human zoonotic transfer, modern air travel to facilitate rapid spread, and capitalism to facilitate a complete lack of NPIs that would quickly and easily defeat the virus. All of these things have been around for literally decades.

Chance, Happenstance, Evolution

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:18

Serf: May 5, 2011

the lab leak was at fort detrick but otherwise correct

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:18

bowser: Apr 7, 2007

You're still posting here? Covid is over. Go to Applebees!

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:19

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Serf posted:

the lab leak was at fort detrick but otherwise correct

It was at both, like Leibniz and newton independently discovering calculus

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:20

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Arivia posted:

i want to see sources for whatever this is

i could show you but it would mean you would now have evidence implicating Hillary Clinton in a crime.

you want to see?

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:21

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Serf posted:

the lab leak was at fort detrick but otherwise correct

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:21

HiroProtagonist: May 7, 2007

bowser posted:

You're still posting here? Covid is over. Go to Applebees!

Fucks and sucks are on me today boys!

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:21

cgeq: Jun 5, 2004

Stereotype posted:

lol drat you really gotta respect the commitment to the lie. like is anyone ever gonna notice that the hospitals are all clogged with suffocating unconscious people and surrounded by jam packed morgue trailers? are chuds just gonna keep memory holing their increasingly dead friends and family who are less numerous by the day? probably, it�ll probably work.

Won't anyone notice all that dark smoke coming from those camps....

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:21

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

Serf posted:

the lab leak was at fort detrick but otherwise correct

incorrect, it came from maine lobsters

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:22

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

gradenko_2000 posted:

https://www.bbc.com/news/57932699

quote:
Dr Fauci, as well as being an adviser to President Biden, is the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), part of the US government's National Institutes of Health (NIH).

This body did give money to an organisation that collaborated with the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

That organisation - the US-based EcoHealth Alliance - was awarded a grant in 2014 to look into possible coronaviruses from bats.

EcoHealth received $3.7m from the NIH, $600,000 of which was given to the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

In 2019, its project was renewed for another five years, but then pulled by the Trump administration in April 2020 following the outbreak of the coronavirus pandemic.

EcoHealth Alliance, right? Where have we heard of that name before?

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(21)01377-5/fulltext

EcoHealth Alliance is the organization headed by Peter Daszak. Daszak was involved in drafting a letter early in 2020 determining that COVID-19 could not possibly have come from a lab.

In 2021, Daszak had to recuse himself from the letter because his position as President of EcoHealth Alliance represented what the rest of the authors considered a conflict-of-interest.

And now, not only do we have a direct link running from Daszak / EcoHealth Alliance, to the Wuhan Institute of Virology, that line runs straight through Tony Fauci and the NIH, with American dollars being used to fund their research!

gradenko_2000 posted:

https://twitter.com/0ddette/status/1445734344111235082

lol it's Peter Daszak and the EcoHealth Alliance again

gradenko_2000 posted:

https://twitter.com/hash_tigre/status/1397367714469978112

https://www.edge.org/conversation/nathan_wolfe-waiting-for-the-final-plague

quote:
Obviously, there is a tremendous interest in viruses that are deleterious. One of the things I would point out, first of all, is that there is so much diversity of viruses: most of them are probably neutral, many of them are ecologically important, some of them are actually mutualistic with their hosts. Having said that, there is a huge fascination with negative viruses, and negative microorganisms, that can spread like the 1918 influenza and HIV�SARS had the potential to do this. These are all agents, which have the potential to relatively quickly have a devastating impact on human populations.

...

Now I would like to spin a slightly different scenario. Let's say we had been studying more comprehensively this interface between humans and animals and trying proactively to predict these pandemic. We would have known about a neglected virus that existed in Central Africa. We would have known that it was transmitted through many, many different routes in Africa, most commonly through heterosexual forms of transmission. We would have potentially had diagnostics. It would have been a neglected tropical disease. But then when cases started really hitting, for example here in the United States, we would have had a tremendous head start.

...

First of all, just to have a list so that in the future when we see things, we will be able to know what it is. And, second of all, to be able to catch things as they try to move into the space where we can have a preventative system for doing this. This is a particularly costly endeavor, but no matter how much we spend on it, all we have to do is catch one and we have instantly paid for this entire system. For SARS, which really at the end of the day affected only about 1,500 - 2,000 individuals, the estimates are billions of dollars of economic impact from even that, which was an aborted pandemic. It was a very short and aborted pandemic. Really what my work is about is trying to aim at this objective of achieving the final plague.

...

If you want to think about my work, one way to think of me is as a curator of microbial collections. I have these massive repositories. I have sites all around the world that are aimed at collecting interesting microorganisms, and then I enter into collaborations with different groups. Instead of coming to look at my beetle collections, I send them specimens that I think they are likely to find of interest, and they study them for novel agents. Really it's sort of a microbial museum. As a consequence, I have a very low footprint in the USA. I have an office not much bigger than your suite. It's not huge. Even though my enterprise is very costly to sustain, it is very easy for me to move around.

https://googlepress.blogspot.com/2008/10/googleorg-battles-bugs-viruses_21.html

quote:
Google.org Battles Bugs & Viruses

Announces More Than $14 Million in Grants to Partners Working to Predict and Prevent the Next Pandemic

Mountain View, Calif. (October 21, 2008) � Google.org, the philanthropic arm of Google (NASDAQ: GOOG), has announced grants of more than $14 million to support partners working in Southeast Asia and Africa to prevent the next pandemic.

...

Detecting diseases earlier

Genetic detection filters viral information in DNA to uncover deadly new pathogens, and digital detection mines online data to reveal early signals of possible epidemics. "We want to stop viruses dead in their tracks � their animal tracks � before they jump to humans," noted Dr. Mark Smolinski, Google.org�s Threat Detective.

Global Viral Forecasting Initiative (GVFI) � $5.5 million multi-year grant (with equal funding from the Skoll Foundation) to support the collection and analysis of blood samples of humans and animals in hot spots within Cameroon, Democratic Republic of Congo, China, Malaysia, Lao PDR and Madagascar. The GVFI team, headed by Dr. Nathan Wolfe, has demonstrated that potentially pathogenic animal viruses jump more frequently to humans than previously believed and will work to detect early evidence of future pandemics. For more information, please visit gvfi.org/index.html.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Viral

quote:
Global Viral (GV), previously known as Global Viral Forecasting Institute (GVFI),[1] is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization founded in 2007 by Nathan Wolfe[2] to study infectious diseases, their transmission between animals and humans, and the risk involved with their global spread. An original goal of the organization was to develop an early warning system for pandemics[3][4] and at one point Global Viral coordinated a staff of over 100 scientists in China, Cameroon, Equatorial Guinea, DR Congo, Republic of the Congo, Laos, Gabon, Central African Republic, Malaysia, Madagascar and Sao Tome.[citation needed]

https://www.nature.com/articles/462717a

quote:
In October 2009, the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) named the GVFI as a main partner in its $330-million Emerging Pandemic Threats programme, a project involving various experts in wildlife surveillance, and for which the GVFI will receive tens of millions of dollars over the next five years. Last month, Wolfe unveiled a new $600,000 update to his lab in Yaound�, Cameroon's capital, marking ten years of research in the country.

...

The GVFI now runs human and animal collection sites in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Malaysia and China � some of these from the types of markets where humans and animals are cheek by jowl, sites that helped SARS and H5N1 emerge and spread.

https://www.nature.com/articles/462717a

quote:
There is pressure on Wolfe to deliver much more. Only $5 million of the $11 million from Google.org and the Skoll Foundation came up front and the group is eligible for another $1 million every six months � if they earn it. They earned the first $1 million by collecting nearly 10,000 new samples and enrolling around 900 people in their studies in Asia. Rijsberman, who now sits on the GVFI board, helped the team to establish goals they call "scientific home runs": the origin of a major infectious disease or the identification of a new pathogenic virus circulating in human populations. With each home run, the group earns another $1 million. The group has submitted the malaria work to the Google.org board and hopes to hear in the next few weeks if it qualifies as their first home run.

quote:
Conflicts of Interest Abound Among Scientists Who Decry Wuhan Lab Leak Theory: https://www.visiontimes.com/2021/05/04/conflict-of-interest-wuhan-lab.html

https://www.bens.org/document.doc?id=31

https://www.usaid.gov/sites/default/files/documents/1864/Predict2-factsheet.pdf

quote:
EPT2 is focused on mitigating the impact of novel �high consequence pathogens� that originate in animals with a goal of enabling early detection of new disease threats, effectively controlling those threats, enhancing national-level preparedness in advance of outbreaks, and ultimately reducing the risk of these diseases emerging by minimizing human behaviors and practices that trigger the �spill over and spread� of new pathogens.

PARTNERS

Consortium Partners: UC Davis, EcoHealth Alliance, Metabiota, Smithsonian Institution, Wildlife Conservation Society

Host country and regional partners: Ministries of Agriculture, Health, Livestock, Wildlife, and associated Departments; USAID missions; and relevant host country laboratories, universities, and research institutes (e.g. Institut Pasteur, Wuhan Institute of Virology, local CDCs, etc..)

https://apnews.com/article/46328e561bfb44b99b2e6937835be957

quote:
AP Investigation: American company bungled Ebola response

WASHINGTON (AP) � An American company that bills itself as a pioneer in tracking emerging epidemics made a series of costly mistakes during the 2014 Ebola outbreak that swept across West Africa � with employees feuding with fellow responders, contributing to misdiagnosed Ebola cases and repeatedly misreading the trajectory of the virus, an Associated Press investigation has found.

San Francisco-based Metabiota Inc. was tapped by the Sierra Leonean government and the World Health Organization to help monitor the spread of the virus and support the response after Ebola was discovered circulating in neighboring Guinea in March 2014. But emails obtained by AP and interviews with aid workers on the ground show that some of the company�s actions made an already chaotic situation worse.

https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/nathan-wolfe-ghislaine-maxwell-and-jb-miller-attend-time-news-photo/1169681569

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:23

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

unhealthy dead person goes into florida state database and changes. ALIVE! many such cases.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:23

Stereotype: Apr 24, 2010; College Slice

I still think that the complete and utter collapse of institutions had something to do with it.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:23

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

Serf posted:

the lab leak was at fort detrick but otherwise correct

yes, but also I'm sticking with Epstein MAD contingency plan here because it's extremely funny.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:24

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Oh cool Chise is now being cited by finance psychos

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:25

Hatebag: Jun 17, 2008

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

The thing is, they don't need to spread it to humans a lot. They only need to do it once, in the right circumstances, and the infections start spreading among humans again. It's not like there were hundreds of bats each infecting dozens of humans in Wuhan. If it's an insanely infectious strain like omicron it could already be spreading in several countries before anyone notices it.

Also it's not unknown for intermediary species to pass along a virus from a zoonotic reservoir.

My post was about rats. I thought the bat idea was that bats gave it to pangolins on some kinda hosed up pangolin farm and then people got it from the pangolins. That would mean a lot of interaction between the reservoir (bats), secondary bioreactor (pangolins) and humans. Humans and rats don't interact that much. There's tons of diseases rats have that i don't.
For another example take swine flu. The pigs get avian flu, turn it into swine flu, give it to humans. The humans get infected because they were hanging out with pigs
The solution is obviously veganism

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:25

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

Mr Hootington posted:

Oh cool Chise is now being cited by finance psychos

Cool I hope they all get intubated.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:26

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

I missed the Epstein tie-in. Got to admit that's a real tempting conspiracy to let chew holes through my brain

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:26

text editor: Jan 8, 2007

mystes posted:

Could people in this thread stick to criticism Monica Gandhi for being wrong about everything rather than the way she smiles or something? This is getting a little uncomfortable.

She's not a lizard person, she just has very bad opinions.

eh it's more that the constantly clearly forced smiles are generally unnerving, doubly so in someone you suspect of being a sociopath

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:27

BoldFace: Feb 28, 2011

https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/1471114697038565383

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:29

PerniciousKnid: Sep 13, 2006

I'm switching my kindergartner to virtual until her brothers can vaccinate, so I need to tell her she's not going to get beloved school anymore. Can I get some external validation before I break her heart? Poor thing has been diligently doing her part to wear her mask even at recess

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:31

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

fosborb posted:

I missed the Epstein tie-in. Got to admit that's a real tempting conspiracy to let chew holes through my brain

Nathan Wolfe is only one branch of it. Consider that in January 2020, Charles Lieber was arrested in connection with work he was doing in Wuhan for George Church and Martin Nowak, geneticists who received 6.5 million USD from Jeffrey Epstein as a grant to the Program for Evolutionary Dynamics, whose research topics included virus dynamics

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:31

Serf: May 5, 2011

Mr Hootington posted:

Oh cool Chise is now being cited by finance psychos

she's going to be on the national news in a fursuit talking with fauci about how omicron is mild while the bodies pile higher

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:31

Nothus: Feb 22, 2001; Buglord

RoboChrist 9000 posted:

So out of curiosity; why is this happening? Like I don't mean in a moral/spiritual sense, or why the world leaders are behaving as they are. I mean, like, why is COVID-19 doing what it's doing?
Wet markets are not a new thing. Bats are not a new thing. Bats living in areas with humans are not a new thing. And I mean look at the common cold coronaviruses and other coronaviruses, none of which are new.

I get how the vaccination and whatnot are applying selection pressures, because evolution is one of the few parts of biology I do have a pretty good grasp on, but like yeah. My question is basically why is this just happening now? Why didn't COVID-1999 happen? Or COVID 2009? Like it seems to me all you needed for this to happen were a vector for bat to human zoonotic transfer, modern air travel to facilitate rapid spread, and capitalism to facilitate a complete lack of NPIs that would quickly and easily defeat the virus. All of these things have been around for literally decades.

Evolution has been pushing coronaviruses into humans for a long time because the receptors they use are fairly well conserved among mammals. This was a successful breakthrough. SARS and MERS could have been COVID 2004 and COVID 2012 but they caused severe illness too quickly. Covid hit the right combination of virulence and delayed clinical symptoms.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:32

Palladium: May 8, 2012; Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

China is guilty of anything with the irrefutable evidence of harassing a random security guard on camera

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:33

NeonPunk: Dec 21, 2020

Serf posted:

she's going to be on the national news in a fursuit talking with fauci about how omicron is mild while the bodies pile higher

Don't you dare speak curses into reality.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:34

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

text editor posted:

eh it's more that the constantly clearly forced smiles are generally unnerving, doubly so in someone you suspect of being a sociopath

It's the same thing as with Harris imo. No one (I think) is going "wow what an unattractive woman. she must be a bad person." It's more like "why is she doing evil poo poo and constantly smiling like she ate a ten strip and can't stop looking at herself in the mirror?

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:34

Kylaer: Aug 4, 2007; I'm SURE walking around in a respirator at all times in an (even more) OPEN BIDENing society is definitely not a recipe for disaster and anyone that's not cool with getting harassed by CHUDs are cave dwellers. I've got good brain!

Arivia posted:

i want to see sources for whatever this is

https://www.bbc.com/news/57932699 posted:

Dr Fauci, as well as being an adviser to President Biden, is the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), part of the US government's National Institutes of Health (NIH).

This body did give money to an organisation that collaborated with the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

That organisation - the US-based EcoHealth Alliance - was awarded a grant in 2014 to look into possible coronaviruses from bats.

EcoHealth received $3.7m from the NIH, $600,000 of which was given to the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

In 2019, its project was renewed for another five years, but then pulled by the Trump administration in April 2020 following the outbreak of the coronavirus pandemic.

https://theintercept.com/2021/09/06/new-details-emerge-about-coronavirus-research-at-chinese-lab/ posted:

The Intercept has obtained more than 900 pages of documents detailing the work of EcoHealth Alliance, a U.S.-based health organization that used federal money to fund bat coronavirus research at the Chinese laboratory. The trove of documents includes two previously unpublished grant proposals that were funded by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, as well as project updates relating to EcoHealth Alliance�s research, which has been scrutinized amid increased interest in the origins of the pandemic.
...
The bat coronavirus grant provided EcoHealth Alliance with a total of $3.1 million, including $599,000 that the Wuhan Institute of Virology used in part to identify and alter bat coronaviruses likely to infect humans.

Peter Daszak is the man who loudly and immediately proclaimed, as soon as the pandemic was kicking off, that it could not possibly have started as a lab leak. He knows exactly where it came from.

Edit: Wow, Gradenko had this all ready to go.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:34

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

Serf posted:

she's going to be on the national news in a fursuit talking with fauci about how omicron is mild while the bodies pile higher

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:35

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Serf posted:

she's going to be on the national news in a fursuit talking with fauci about how omicron is mild while the bodies pile higher

Yep in front of congress too

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:36

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

BoldFace posted:

https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/1471114697038565383

Lol poo poo us getting bad. They only roll this put when it is getting bad.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:36

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 20:09

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

Serf posted:

she's going to be on the national news in a fursuit talking with fauci about how omicron is mild while the bodies pile higher

Fauci's Hospital House: Bodies Piled High

# ? Dec 15, 2021 15:36

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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