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Outrail posted:I'd love to read a goon sourced Human resources and office conduct policy. Don't be a dumbass and he who gets mad first loses are definitely good policy.
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Mar 30, 2022 16:55
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:Don't be a dumbass and he who gets mad first loses are definitely good policy. "Well, here in the employee handbook, you can clearly see out policy of 'Don't Start None, Won't Be None' spelled out, along with our 'Talk poo poo, Get Hit' clause."
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Mar 30, 2022 16:59
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Here's your "Piss people off and this could have someone's dick and balls in it" inspirational mug.
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Mar 30, 2022 17:03
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If you are going to be a dick, make sure your car insurance covers slashed tires and keying
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Mar 30, 2022 19:00
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Quote not edit
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Mar 30, 2022 19:00
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Escape From Noise posted:The loving chef who keeps getting aggro because I don't always say good morning to him first because maybe I didn't see him because he was in the back on my way in or maybe he had his earphones in can suck my loving left one! I don't work in the kitchen, dipshit! Quit with your hierarchy poo poo with me! I'm the head brewer and I don't loving answer to you! Just say good morning to me like a normal person and I'll respond! That chef no longer deserves hello. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaPgDM1fCPg
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Mar 30, 2022 20:36
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Tezer posted:That chef no longer deserves hello. "You lost me at hello."
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Mar 31, 2022 06:13
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I know it's a couple pages back now, but just as a note to the people who were having a normal one in response to my little anecdote about doing telephone surveys - my story would have taken place in 1997. It was all landlines and nobody was being forced to answer their phones or participate in the surveys. Some of y'all are just bloodthirsty as hell, huh?
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Mar 31, 2022 09:01
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relax, no goon in a gbs megathread has a normal perception of reality
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Mar 31, 2022 09:06
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:relax, no goon in a gbs megathread has a normal perception of reality The tantalising question being, what if one of them read *all* of them?
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Mar 31, 2022 09:41
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Aced my first interview at a new company, they're doing some cutting edge hydrogen stuff and are still VC funded with 24 months til the IPO. I've never worked in the start up realm, any goons have advice? It would be a 20% pay bump from my current job, offer stock options after a year, and has an impeccable health care benefits package, but the commute is an hour (which is the same as my current place so whatever) and I expect the hours would be intense. I've got my first kid coming in mid-july and that needs to be my priority, so that concerns me a bit as well. Should I even bring up that I'll need to take a couple weeks off for the birth? I didn't mention it in the first interview.
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Mar 31, 2022 11:46
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Super Waffle posted:Aced my first interview at a new company, they're doing some cutting edge hydrogen stuff and are still VC funded with 24 months til the IPO. I've never worked in the start up realm, any goons have advice? It would be a 20% pay bump from my current job, offer stock options after a year, and has an impeccable health care benefits package, but the commute is an hour (which is the same as my current place so whatever) and I expect the hours would be intense. I've got my first kid coming in mid-july and that needs to be my priority, so that concerns me a bit as well. Should I even bring up that I'll need to take a couple weeks off for the birth? I didn't mention it in the first interview. Probably bring it up now, as it'll give you a good gauge on how they treat their employees in general. If they make a fuss about it now, they would've gotten upset about it in a few months when you actually need to take that time off anyway. It's not like you're gonna disappear altogether after your kid's born after all (congrats btw).
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Mar 31, 2022 12:22
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Check if there's a significant difference in paternity benefits between your current place and the new one. Some places don't give paternity benefits to employees who have been there under a year. I'll just say it was great to be home for 2 months and almost fully paid when my first was born.
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Mar 31, 2022 13:28
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If anyone remembers my stories of that shithole brewery I was working at last year for a grand total of four months, I was texting with my former coworker there and I found out he and the woman they were "training" to run the kitchen (paying her a poo poo wage and working her to death to run the kitchen) collaborated and put in their notices at the same time. Apparently the owner was really upset and was like "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???". Lol. Eat poo poo, rear end in a top hat. Have fun opening your new 2k liter facility with no experienced staff. Great scam getting help from the local technical highschool, but that's not going to be good. I feel sorry for those kids but at least I think there'll be limits on hours they can work.
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Mar 31, 2022 14:20
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Escape From Noise posted:Lol. Eat poo poo, rear end in a top hat.
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Mar 31, 2022 14:50
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Super Waffle posted:Aced my first interview at a new company, they're doing some cutting edge hydrogen stuff and are still VC funded with 24 months til the IPO. So first thing first, who told you that they are 24 months from an IPO? Because that in an of itself is pretty red flaggy depending on how it was communicated and by who. If they really have a sold plan of that you were just given "Material Nonpublic Information."
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Mar 31, 2022 16:21
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Motronic posted:So first thing first, who told you that they are 24 months from an IPO? Because that in an of itself is pretty red flaggy depending on how it was communicated and by who. It was a call with the COO and HR. 24 months from IPO and are already generating revenue. This is still a small outfit, 30 employees looking to expand to 80 by years end. Production lines up and running in 17 months, design 90% complete. What does it mean to be given ""Material Nonpublic Information"? And as far as paternity leave, my current place has none whatsoever (I have a week of PTO saved up plus arranging for another week of FMLA unpaid leave); I didn't ask about it in my interview with the new place but they have a healthcare benefits package that covers 100% of costs, so they seem health and family minded. I'll go ahead and send them an email explaining my situation; babby is due mid-July.
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Mar 31, 2022 18:22
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Super Waffle posted:What does it mean to be given ""Material Nonpublic Information"? It's information that it's illegal to act upon, like insider trading. Though it's hard to see how you would act on this information.
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Mar 31, 2022 18:25
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Super Waffle posted:It was a call with the COO and HR. 24 months from IPO and are already generating revenue. This is still a small outfit, 30 employees looking to expand to 80 by years end. Production lines up and running in 17 months, design 90% complete. What does it mean to be given ""Material Nonpublic Information"? It means you were talking to rank amateurs. You can't just go blabbing about the specifics and timing of an IPO, not even to EMPLOYEES. The SEC get real upset about that kind of thing. MNPI is information that can be used for insider trading, basically. Edit: Aramoro posted:It's information that it's illegal to act upon, like insider trading. Though it's hard to see how you would act on this information. Is it really that hard to think about someone who could potentially, very soon, be negotiating for an equity position in such a company to make decisions about the relative value and future liquidity of that equity differently with that MNPI? Motronic fucked around with this message at 18:28 on Mar 31, 2022 |
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Mar 31, 2022 18:25
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Motronic posted:It means you were talking to rank amateurs. You can't just go blabbing about the specifics and timing of an IPO, not even to EMPLOYEES. The SEC get real upset about that kind of thing. MNPI is information that can be used for insider trading, basically. Soooooo, is this a "stay far away" situation, or a "get in, run out the one year clock, fleece them for all I can" situation?
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Mar 31, 2022 18:58
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Neddy Seagoon posted:Probably bring it up now, as it'll give you a good gauge on how they treat their employees in general. If they make a fuss about it now, they would've gotten upset about it in a few months when you actually need to take that time off anyway. It's not like you're gonna disappear altogether after your kid's born after all (congrats btw). There's no way in hell I would bring that up during the interview process until I was given a formal offer. I think you drastically increase the chance someone in hiring discriminates against you and you don't get the job. They're probably not going to be stupid enough to send you an e-mail saying we don't want to hire someone expecting a child, they'll just quietly decide to choose another candidate. Also check your state's laws on paternity leave. I know in some states you have to work at a place for at least a year to be entitled to full leave.
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Mar 31, 2022 18:59
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Super Waffle posted:Soooooo, is this a "stay far away" situation, or a "get in, run out the one year clock, fleece them for all I can" situation? It's a "get more information, like who's funding them and who's on the board to see if THOSE people are successfully getting companies to IPO." Crunchbase is a good starting point. If it all checks out, choose the latter one. And negotiate for every bit of equity you can get even in lieu of salary if you can get it. It's still a risk. It's more likely than not to fail or just end up with a mediocre payout. But if you know this going in and are willing to take the chance it could be something spectacular.
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Mar 31, 2022 20:07
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It's not really an issue but my company has some sort of cap on how many business cards I can order from them at a time. It's a pretty small amount amount. Like 100 at most, but I guess that's flexible. It's just funny because the assistant manager gets really incredulous about it every time I ask for another order before I run out and he's like "You used them already?" like... isn't that the point of business cards?
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Apr 1, 2022 06:46
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I have to remind myself I have business cards - I hardly ever use the things, but keep a few in my wallet just in case. Mostly I just have a big box of them in my desk at work that gets swapped out when we change our logo or my title changes or whatever.
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Apr 1, 2022 07:29
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CaptainSarcastic posted:I have to remind myself I have business cards - I hardly ever use the things, but keep a few in my wallet just in case. Mostly I just have a big box of them in my desk at work that gets swapped out when we change our logo or my title changes or whatever. Yeah, I've definitely had jobs where I barely ever used them or didn't even have them. As a brewer though it's a really easy way to make connections with other brewers as well as bar and restaurant owners, or even the person sitting next to me at the bar who's interested in trying my beer. Also it's probably more of a thing in Japan.
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Apr 1, 2022 07:32
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lol i was thinking "huh 100 is really small" before i remembered you were in japan
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Apr 1, 2022 08:36
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Why is it every time I have a week of doing nothing I'm suddenly told that inventory needs to be done before I leave Friday evening?
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Apr 1, 2022 09:22
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My work's pretty good for the most part. Can't complain about most of the common things that pop up in the thread. But our expense reports are ridiculous. I run up quite a lot of expenses as a field guy (at least outside of the pandemic), could easily be a few dozen receipts if I'm travelling for a few weeks. But the expenses form is a bizarre spreadsheet that I don't think has been changed for a couple of decades. Here's a mockup of how it's laid out:  You will notice: - An entire dimension is wasted by having receipts across the top and categories down the side, which allows you to have a receipt spanning multiple categories - which basically never happens. Very rarely do I buy food, tools and parking in the same transaction - There's only a cell to fill in the amount, but nowhere to describe what it was for. "Hey boss I spent $1000 on unspecified tools, sign here please" - You get 7 columns. That's it. If you bought more than 7 things, duplicate the Excel sheet and you get another 7! Repeat until done I long ago started using an app to actually track my expenses, which produces a readable and informative report, plus pictures of the receipts (boss is in another country so never gets the paper ones). I can add project tags (e.g. "hotel was for the France job") or justifications ("new screwdrivers"). Then I type all the values into the official spreadsheet and get him to sign that for accounting. The system works!
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Apr 1, 2022 11:59
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You could add a note to cells. Crazy they don't let you have 30 columns for the two weeks or however long a pay period is. That looks like the sort of dumbshit system I'd use for our four person operation not a legit company.
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Apr 1, 2022 14:37
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Outrail posted:I'd love to read a goon sourced Human resources and office conduct policy. The only acceptable greeting is a swift kit to the groin, delivered without warning
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Apr 1, 2022 14:49
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Improbable Lobster posted:The only acceptable greeting is a swift kit to the groin, delivered without warning 6.1 Gifts are an act of aggression.
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Apr 1, 2022 15:48
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Splicer posted:6 Gratuities Policy On the other hand, aggression can be a gift.
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Apr 1, 2022 15:52
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It could be worse, I use concur
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Apr 1, 2022 17:03
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I emailed my boss that my wife is in the early stages of labor and I wouldn’t be working today but I would try to check in Monday to do some final prep for my replacement while I’m out on leave. She responded asking if I would have time to run my staff’s time cards either today or over the weekend.
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Apr 1, 2022 19:21
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Since today is April Fool’s, I decided to play the most harmless, gentle prank possible on my boss, by texting her asking if she could pick me up some boneless bananas. She came in two hours later demanding to know what boneless bananas are.
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Apr 1, 2022 19:51
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ClothHat posted:I emailed my boss that my wife is in the early stages of labor and I wouldn’t be working today but I would try to check in Monday to do some final prep for my replacement while I’m out on leave. She responded asking if I would have time to run my staff’s time cards either today or over the weekend. "No"
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Apr 1, 2022 19:51
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Super Waffle posted:It was a call with the COO and HR. 24 months from IPO and are already generating revenue. This is still a small outfit, 30 employees looking to expand to 80 by years end. Production lines up and running in 17 months, design 90% complete. What does it mean to be given ""Material Nonpublic Information"? Post or PM me the company to get helpful feedback here. These facts don't make sense, are you sure you're conveying them accurately? Most companies IPO when their revenue is close to $100M. So to be bragging about "generating revenue" and saying you're 2 years from a IPO is like...non sense. Did you/they mean to say they're profitable? "We have some revenue and we'll IPO in 24 months" is like saying "I completed a race in a race car...we'll win a NASCAR race in 24 months." Uhh dude was it a NASCAR race you raced or just some random dirt track thing? I'd take a pay cut to hold stock options in a fast growing company with $25M/yr in revenue set to IPO in 2 years. I would not join a company under $1M/yr in revenue under most circumstances. 30 employees is near-impossible to IPO with. Sub 100 employees happens in pharma but non-pharma companies most have roughly 1000 employees when they IPO.
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Apr 1, 2022 23:00
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Exponential growth is assured at this point, the customer base is already there and gagging for it, nothing can slow this train, we just need to put it in front of them and not suck, etc.
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Apr 1, 2022 23:17
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CarForumPoster posted:Post or PM me the company to get helpful feedback here. These facts don't make sense, are you sure you're conveying them accurately? Most companies IPO when their revenue is close to $100M. So to be bragging about "generating revenue" and saying you're 2 years from a IPO is like...non sense. Did you/they mean to say they're profitable? "We have some revenue and we'll IPO in 24 months" is like saying "I completed a race in a race car...we'll win a NASCAR race in 24 months." Uhh dude was it a NASCAR race you raced or just some random dirt track thing? Unrelated, I joined a pharma start up as the 5th employee (in 9 months we've grown to 11). I'm the only non-director (which I'm working on negotiating). No revenue yet, not even a hint of revenue for another 6 months either. And even then it will be like 5 mil a year. We just raised money at a 75 mil valuation and plan on expanding to 40-50 employees by end of 2022. After 18 months we will exit, likely with IPO as we will hopefully have locked up a huge drug approval with hundreds of millions a year in revenue. To your original point, by IPO time we will probably have 100+people, almost all of which are marketing/sales. Start ups are loving weird. I never thought I'd work at a company whose bank account can be measured in months.
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Apr 2, 2022 18:26
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goatface posted:Exponential growth is assured at this point, the customer base is already there and gagging for it, nothing can slow this train, we just need to put it in front of them and not suck, etc. I love sneaking qualifiers like this into my proposals. Assuming nothing goes wrong this should work out.
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Apr 2, 2022 18:33
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