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Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Tomn posted:

Well, if you insist, lemme tell you about the worst cook I've ever had, bar none.

Now I do want to be clear on something - I don't think he was a bad guy, per se. He wasn't actively malicious, and a lot of his faults were due to a combination of advanced age and being in over his head. But holy hell, he was not at all right for the role.

To start with, he wasn't actually a cook - he was a taxi driver who'd somehow stumbled rear end-backwards into becoming a sea cook. And "stumbled rear end-backwards" isn't an entirely inappropriate phrase because he had serious mobility issues from being both very elderly and from having gotten into an accident on one of his previous boats that ended up shattering his hip - something about falling into a hatchway or something. This led to him having to shuffle everywhere, and having issues with going down stairs - which was a bit of an issue given that the pantry was down a flight of stairs and the freezers were down a hatch on deck that needed a ladder to get down which he wasn't physically capable of swinging his legs up to mount. If you're thinking this sounds like a safety issue and should probably have been checked before he ever got on the boat, well, yes - as best as we can figure, he probably got his medical certificate from before he had his accident and it hadn't expired yet. He was also very nearly deaf, which again was a pretty major safety issue given that he was deaf enough not to hear fire alarms - which will come into play later.

Did he make up for all these faults by being a fantastic cook who made excellent food? No, not at all. He drowned everything he made in a sea of butter - like we're talking tubs with an inch or so of butter grease sloshing around at the bottom. Food was spiced or salted by throwing on a heaping handful of the stuff onto the food, and then serving as is - no attempt to mix or distribute the spice evenly. And when I say a heaping handful, I mean that - at one point the captain found himself biting into what turned out to be a literal spoonful of salt which he'd assumed was sugar or something. He also didn't really seem to fully understand the concept of defrosting, asking for cuts of meat to be pulled up from the freezer in the morning to be served for lunch - which led, in particular, to anything he made with minced meat being a gamble on how raw it'd turn out to be. He also made way too much food for how many people there were, serving up in an ersatz buffet style with the copious leftovers becoming so much food waste (this will come into play later).

Food hygiene was also not a particular strong point - as deckhands we found ourselves regularly cleaning out the fridges, sometimes as often as once every two days to deal with sloshing meat juices or milk splattering everywhere and raising a stink, which incidentally came from his shoving in uncovered meat of various kinds every which way in the fridge as they would fit. The galley was theoretically kept clean by him, but this seemed to mostly be pushing a slightly damp mop around in circles for a bit and calling it a day, leaving streaks of black gunk everywhere and requiring deckhands to occasionally intervene and give the place a proper deep clean. And then there was the food waste and the Accident...but I'll get to that later.

Beyond his issues as cook, though, he was also somewhat fuzzy in the head in a number of ways. For instance, he never really seemed to grasp what the watch schedule was, putting out food and taking it away as he saw fit regardless of what time the watch changes were, whether anyone on watch knew that food was ready, or who might have been asleep and off-watch, resulting in, again, a lot of food waste because he didn't seem to believe in preserving leftovers for an oncoming watch (I'll get to the food waste, I swear!) He also had the very odd habit of leaving potatoes and vegetables in the dishwasher for reasons nobody was able to quite figure out - given that the dishwasher was left on and moist, my best guess is that he was using it as a makeshift food warmer, but who knows for sure. When he needed to go provisioning, he asked everybody BUT the captain - the one guy in charge of authorizing use of funds - about when and how he could go provisioning. And of course, there was the time he set off the fire alarms by, we think, leaving the oven on, forgetting about it, and then going to watch television in the saloon while the entire crew was up and running and trying to identify where the fire was while he sat there stone deaf as ever and unaware of what was happening. The captain and chief mate did bring up their various issues with him, but it always seemed to go in one ear and out the other - at best, he'd change his ways for a day and then go right back into his normal groove.

Which brings us to the defining aspect of his tenure as cook - the food waste. You see, he had a very simple method for dealing with food waste - he'd throw it out the window. No need to bother with trash bag storage! Now, this is illegal to do close in to shore, and not really a great idea even further out due to potential environmental issues, but I suppose if nobody ever catches him or notices, no harm, no foul, maybe?

Well, here's the thing - there's a small ledge running along the length of the ship, just below said porthole, and just wide enough to catch dropped food waste, and the ship was just stable enough that the majority of food wouldn't be rocked off by the motion of the ocean but would instead stay stuck on there in a growing mound over time in baking hot summer heat until we finally got back into port at which point the deckhands would be tasked with cleaning that mound away - three times in one day, once, as he repeatedly, despite instructions not to, threw out more food waste after we'd cleaned up the last one, often splattering the fenders below while he was at it (did I mention this was all on the side of the ship facing the dock?) which we'd have to haul up close to our bodies later. That's to say nothing of plastic wrappers getting caught in the wind and flying back on board on the aft deck of the ship, or milk cartons recognizably ours bobbing in our wake.

Now if that sounds disgusting, well, that's where we get to the Accident. There's really no easy or soft way of putting it, so I'll just say it plain: He shat himself in the galley one day. He did so while wearing shorts and boxers. We know this because the deckhand on duty (VERY FORTUNATELY NOT ME) discovered a trail of brown streaks leading from the galley, across the corridors, to become a great big brown smear all over the cook's cabin door. The cook was discovered in the laundry room, with the one tub of laundry powder we still had on board scattered all over the floor with the cook frantically asking "Where's the laundry powder? Where's the laundry powder?" and the distinctly unsympathetic Polish deckhand responding "It's all over the floor, can't you see? What the gently caress happened here?"

I'll admit, that last story is horrifying and terrible but also tragic - the guy was old, lost control of himself in the most embarrassing way, and ended up publicly humiliated. Unsurprisingly, he wanted to get off the boat as soon as possible, but we had one last bit of surveying to do and the company was unable to find another cook on short notice. So in what might have been a bit of muddle-headedness, or what might have been a deliberate attempt to get himself fired, he insisted that we were out of supplies and needed to go provisioning (we didn't have much left after he churned through the supplies, but we DID have enough for the few days we were going to be out albeit on an unexciting diet if he cooked reasonable portions), and presented the captain with a shopping list.

Now I don't remember everything that was on the list, but for eight people on a trip lasting three or four days, and considering that the ship was going to be laid up and probably sold after this job, he wanted, among other things:

- 8 sirloin steaks
- 8 salmon steaks
- 2 kilograms of butter

He ended up leaving the boat and the crew ended up cooking for ourselves. We ate better those three days than we had the entire past five weeks.

Wow, Buckman from the documentary "Down Periscope" really hit some hard times.

# ? Oct 20, 2022 14:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 09:38

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Tomn posted:

Well, if you insist, lemme tell you about the worst cook I've ever had, bar none.

What's his username?

# ? Oct 20, 2022 15:00

Machai: Feb 21, 2013

Outrail posted:

What's his username?

Chumshitter

# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:07

RocketMermaid: Mar 30, 2004; My pronouns are She/Heir.

Escape From Noise posted:

Oh man. I worked mobile canning until I was near the end of my probationary period. Then they shitcanned me. I was really depressed about it at the time but that job was killing me and was the reason I started having panic attacks. So in the end it was one of the better things to happen to me.

Jesus gently caress, I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds a lot like the mobile canning company my last brewery worked with - they started off great with qualified people and good service, but they hemorrhaged people terribly and within a year and a half it was just the owners themselves operating the thing, poorly, without maintaining it. And to save money the owner of the brewery (who was nicknamed Billy Vader because he never paid any of the brewery's necessary bills and invoices) had them teach me how to operate it so the actual mobile canners could drop it off and gently caress off on vacation or whatever it is they did - they were never ever in town when I was actually operating it and needed assistance. And they always dropped it off in terrible shape and never seemed to maintain it, so every time we canned I spent the first two hours (and probably a barrel of beer) troubleshooting it and coming close to a coronary. They ultimately sold the whole system to a neighboring brewery and I hope they lost their asses on it.

# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:11

Animal-Mother: Feb 14, 2012; RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Escape From Noise posted:

Lol. I said good morning to the head chef as I passed by the kitchen this morning and got the silent treatment. I wonder what the little baby is filling his diaper up over today. Not enough to ask though. I don't really care anymore.

A lot of chefs are loving weird about saying good morning. And about the word chef. And about where cooks take their lunch break.

We just make food, why are so many people psychotic?

# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:52

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Society

# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:57

COPE 27: Sep 11, 2006

Animal-Mother posted:

A lot of chefs are loving weird about saying good morning. And about the word chef. And about where cooks take their lunch break.

Are they pro or anti milk crate at the back door

# ? Oct 20, 2022 21:58

madeintaipei: Jul 13, 2012

evilpicard posted:

Are they pro or anti milk crate at the back door

Where the gently caress else are you gonna sit and have a smoke?

# ? Oct 20, 2022 22:22

TheSpartacus: Oct 30, 2010; HEY GUYS I'VE FLOWN HELICOPTERS IN THIS GAME BEFORE AND I AM AN EXPERT. ALSO, HOW DO I START THE ENGINE?

Escape From Noise posted:

Lol. I said good morning to the head chef as I passed by the kitchen this morning and got the silent treatment. I wonder what the little baby is filling his diaper up over today. Not enough to ask though. I don't really care anymore.

Start calling him "Cook" when you address him

# ? Oct 20, 2022 22:25

Animal-Mother: Feb 14, 2012; RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

evilpicard posted:

Are they pro or anti milk crate at the back door

My chef's current temper tantrum involves telling all of us we're not allowed to take our breaks outside. He says, "Covid is over. You all eat at this one table. No going outside, I need to be able to find people quickly."

If I'm on my break, you don't need to find me for poo poo, boss man.

# ? Oct 20, 2022 23:19

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Machai posted:

Chumshitter

# ? Oct 20, 2022 23:57

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

Machai posted:

Chumshitter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_ogzbodL2I

# ? Oct 21, 2022 00:05

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Animal-Mother posted:

A lot of chefs are loving weird about saying good morning. And about the word chef. And about where cooks take their lunch break.

We just make food, why are so many people psychotic?

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even work in the goddamn kitchen. This guy also flipped out at me because he didn't hear me say good morning or whatever. I don't address him as chef. I don't know if other people do either. I'm not sure what the deal is with that here.

# ? Oct 21, 2022 00:16

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Escape From Noise posted:

I'm gonna check with the equipment supplier about a solution.

I'm so loving mad right now. I got everyone cakes from my trip and the head chef ate half of them because "the part timers don't work hard enough to deserve them." Motherfucker, that was not your decision.

That's straight up theft though

# ? Oct 21, 2022 01:04

BiggerBoat: Sep 26, 2007; Don't you tell me my business again.

Tomn posted:

Well, if you insist, lemme tell you about the worst cook I've ever had, bar none.

Now I do want to be clear on something - I don't think he was a bad guy, per se. He wasn't actively malicious, and a lot of his faults were due to a combination of advanced age and being in over his head. But holy hell, he was not at all right for the role.

To start with, he wasn't actually a cook - he was a taxi driver who'd somehow stumbled rear end-backwards into becoming a sea cook. And "stumbled rear end-backwards" isn't an entirely inappropriate phrase because he had serious mobility issues from being both very elderly and from having gotten into an accident on one of his previous boats that ended up shattering his hip - something about falling into a hatchway or something. This led to him having to shuffle everywhere, and having issues with going down stairs - which was a bit of an issue given that the pantry was down a flight of stairs and the freezers were down a hatch on deck that needed a ladder to get down which he wasn't physically capable of swinging his legs up to mount. If you're thinking this sounds like a safety issue and should probably have been checked before he ever got on the boat, well, yes - as best as we can figure, he probably got his medical certificate from before he had his accident and it hadn't expired yet. He was also very nearly deaf, which again was a pretty major safety issue given that he was deaf enough not to hear fire alarms - which will come into play later.

Did he make up for all these faults by being a fantastic cook who made excellent food? No, not at all. He drowned everything he made in a sea of butter - like we're talking tubs with an inch or so of butter grease sloshing around at the bottom. Food was spiced or salted by throwing on a heaping handful of the stuff onto the food, and then serving as is - no attempt to mix or distribute the spice evenly. And when I say a heaping handful, I mean that - at one point the captain found himself biting into what turned out to be a literal spoonful of salt which he'd assumed was sugar or something. He also didn't really seem to fully understand the concept of defrosting, asking for cuts of meat to be pulled up from the freezer in the morning to be served for lunch - which led, in particular, to anything he made with minced meat being a gamble on how raw it'd turn out to be. He also made way too much food for how many people there were, serving up in an ersatz buffet style with the copious leftovers becoming so much food waste (this will come into play later).

Food hygiene was also not a particular strong point - as deckhands we found ourselves regularly cleaning out the fridges, sometimes as often as once every two days to deal with sloshing meat juices or milk splattering everywhere and raising a stink, which incidentally came from his shoving in uncovered meat of various kinds every which way in the fridge as they would fit. The galley was theoretically kept clean by him, but this seemed to mostly be pushing a slightly damp mop around in circles for a bit and calling it a day, leaving streaks of black gunk everywhere and requiring deckhands to occasionally intervene and give the place a proper deep clean. And then there was the food waste and the Accident...but I'll get to that later.

Beyond his issues as cook, though, he was also somewhat fuzzy in the head in a number of ways. For instance, he never really seemed to grasp what the watch schedule was, putting out food and taking it away as he saw fit regardless of what time the watch changes were, whether anyone on watch knew that food was ready, or who might have been asleep and off-watch, resulting in, again, a lot of food waste because he didn't seem to believe in preserving leftovers for an oncoming watch (I'll get to the food waste, I swear!) He also had the very odd habit of leaving potatoes and vegetables in the dishwasher for reasons nobody was able to quite figure out - given that the dishwasher was left on and moist, my best guess is that he was using it as a makeshift food warmer, but who knows for sure. When he needed to go provisioning, he asked everybody BUT the captain - the one guy in charge of authorizing use of funds - about when and how he could go provisioning. And of course, there was the time he set off the fire alarms by, we think, leaving the oven on, forgetting about it, and then going to watch television in the saloon while the entire crew was up and running and trying to identify where the fire was while he sat there stone deaf as ever and unaware of what was happening. The captain and chief mate did bring up their various issues with him, but it always seemed to go in one ear and out the other - at best, he'd change his ways for a day and then go right back into his normal groove.

Which brings us to the defining aspect of his tenure as cook - the food waste. You see, he had a very simple method for dealing with food waste - he'd throw it out the window. No need to bother with trash bag storage! Now, this is illegal to do close in to shore, and not really a great idea even further out due to potential environmental issues, but I suppose if nobody ever catches him or notices, no harm, no foul, maybe?

Well, here's the thing - there's a small ledge running along the length of the ship, just below said porthole, and just wide enough to catch dropped food waste, and the ship was just stable enough that the majority of food wouldn't be rocked off by the motion of the ocean but would instead stay stuck on there in a growing mound over time in baking hot summer heat until we finally got back into port at which point the deckhands would be tasked with cleaning that mound away - three times in one day, once, as he repeatedly, despite instructions not to, threw out more food waste after we'd cleaned up the last one, often splattering the fenders below while he was at it (did I mention this was all on the side of the ship facing the dock?) which we'd have to haul up close to our bodies later. That's to say nothing of plastic wrappers getting caught in the wind and flying back on board on the aft deck of the ship, or milk cartons recognizably ours bobbing in our wake.

Now if that sounds disgusting, well, that's where we get to the Accident. There's really no easy or soft way of putting it, so I'll just say it plain: He shat himself in the galley one day. He did so while wearing shorts and boxers. We know this because the deckhand on duty (VERY FORTUNATELY NOT ME) discovered a trail of brown streaks leading from the galley, across the corridors, to become a great big brown smear all over the cook's cabin door. The cook was discovered in the laundry room, with the one tub of laundry powder we still had on board scattered all over the floor with the cook frantically asking "Where's the laundry powder? Where's the laundry powder?" and the distinctly unsympathetic Polish deckhand responding "It's all over the floor, can't you see? What the gently caress happened here?"

I'll admit, that last story is horrifying and terrible but also tragic - the guy was old, lost control of himself in the most embarrassing way, and ended up publicly humiliated. Unsurprisingly, he wanted to get off the boat as soon as possible, but we had one last bit of surveying to do and the company was unable to find another cook on short notice. So in what might have been a bit of muddle-headedness, or what might have been a deliberate attempt to get himself fired, he insisted that we were out of supplies and needed to go provisioning (we didn't have much left after he churned through the supplies, but we DID have enough for the few days we were going to be out albeit on an unexciting diet if he cooked reasonable portions), and presented the captain with a shopping list.

Now I don't remember everything that was on the list, but for eight people on a trip lasting three or four days, and considering that the ship was going to be laid up and probably sold after this job, he wanted, among other things:

- 8 sirloin steaks
- 8 salmon steaks
- 2 kilograms of butter

He ended up leaving the boat and the crew ended up cooking for ourselves. We ate better those three days than we had the entire past five weeks.

Under Seige 2

# ? Oct 21, 2022 01:44

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Splicer posted:

That's straight up theft though

Yep. It made me think about the time he "joked" about me not leaving my Bluetooth speaker out or he'd take it. Fortunately, that's not gonna happen. I've left it in the brewery before, but this isn't his "domain".

# ? Oct 21, 2022 01:51

Atticus_1354: Dec 10, 2006; barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

Escape From Noise posted:

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even work in the goddamn kitchen. This guy also flipped out at me because he didn't hear me say good morning or whatever. I don't address him as chef. I don't know if other people do either. I'm not sure what the deal is with that here.

My last boss would get so butthurt that I didn't yell good morning 40 yards across the parking lot and interrupt his morning meeting with the farm crew when I pulled up. Waving when people looked over so as not to interrupt did not count.

# ? Oct 21, 2022 03:40

Verdugo: Jan 5, 2009; Lipstick Apathy

Last week our CEO decided to have a company all hands announcing our return to work (in phases, one day a week for now, will surely be two, three or four) in two weeks. Legit pushback from mostly everyone (why did he leave chat open and not mute people is beyond me) about productivity, headcount, etc and it wound up with him getting mad and cutting the call short. Of course he had COVID and was working from home.

A fine sampling of questions and their ridiculous answers. We moved from 100% in the office to 100% telework in March of 2020 and have been working from home since, our numbers, metrics, productivity, everything is up way higher than it was when we were in the office.

Why are you asking for people to "Raise their hand" and you'll call on them to ask questions when there are like 25 legit questions in the chat? *no answer because we didn't "raise our hand and be called on"*

You said COVID was over but you caught it and gave it to your assistant, who also is working form home and is *too sick to come to work today*. Don't you think that's a problem? *no answer*

What if you're immune compromised? Can you get a waiver? You have to apply for a reasonable accommodation (which can take months)

If you don't like the new arrangement? You can leave.

But what about our competitors who are offering 100% remote positions doing the same work? Don't you think that it might hurt recruiting new folks if our telework policy sucks? Doesn't care. He's the boss, what he says goes.

What about morale that tanked immediately when we had the call? Well you knew it was coming eventually. I believe folks work better in the office.

But folks work better in our industry from home. Here's studies 1 2 and 3 showing how productivity is better and our own numbers are showing that. What data backs up the productivity increase with return to work, especially if we're anticipating increased turnover due to the new policy? *ignores question*

Well why don't you let the people who want to go to the office and collaborate do that and let people who want to telework stay home? Well that's age discrimination (?) because the older folks work better in person. (But the older folks are who are pushing this return to work stuff). Also (and i swear to god this was one of the stupidest things he said) WHAT IF YOU WORK FROM HOME AND THE POWER GOES OUT WHAT THEN.

What about people with dependent care,, etc that have been working the last two years with no issues? They're going to need to work something out, we are all reporting back to the office.

Why are you so mad? (didn't ask that but I wish I did)

Basically he lost a lot of respect from the workforce and left looking like a clown. My office's director is all for letting us work from home so I don't think his edict is going to stick.

Also we had a few quislings going "yay! i can't wait to go back into the office!" including one grumpy woman from my office who I knew had a giant smirk on her face when she "stuck it to us young folks who want to work from home."

Plus he did it at the end of the week (nothing like a mandatory company wide zoom meeting right before I start my weekend) so he just got everyone twisted right before they had the weekend to stew about it.

Verdugo fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Oct 21, 2022

# ? Oct 21, 2022 04:02

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Atticus_1354 posted:

My last boss would get so butthurt that I didn't yell good morning 40 yards across the parking lot and interrupt his morning meeting with the farm crew when I pulled up. Waving when people looked over so as not to interrupt did not count.

Sounds like a job for Megaphone Man

# ? Oct 21, 2022 04:09

CarForumPoster: Jun 26, 2013; â¡POWERâ¡

Verdugo posted:

You have to apply for a reasonable accommodation (which can take months)

Ahhhhhh hahahahaha yea if they take months to make ADA accommodations they�re loving BEGGING for a lawsuit. When that accommodation has severe health consequences that someone could reasonably suffer long term and/or cause PTSD� well some plaintiffs lawyer just got a boner somewhere

# ? Oct 21, 2022 04:13

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Atticus_1354 posted:

My last boss would get so butthurt that I didn't yell good morning 40 yards across the parking lot and interrupt his morning meeting with the farm crew when I pulled up. Waving when people looked over so as not to interrupt did not count.

Even when I worked at public schools in rural Japan they'd just remind me if I forgot oor whatever. Except for the one elementary school teacher who hated me and was a huge dick. I hear he's a principal now.

It is kind of cracking me up that the 40 year old who always shits on the younger part timers was less mature about a gift then they're being about his childish behavior.

# ? Oct 21, 2022 04:59

Extra row of tits: Oct 31, 2020

Can I just post a self indulgent whine about how I got a job in my field doing exactly the same role but for the private sector not public with vastly improved conditions and more than tripled my wages only to catch Influenza A, recover from that, and then catch covid two weeks later.

# ? Oct 21, 2022 06:50

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

Outrail posted:

Sounds like a job for Megaphone Man

I'm imagining barging into every morning meeting he has for a week doing my best Yeezy impression. "Boss boss, i'ma let you finish, but first I just gotta say, Good Morning! :haw:

"

See who cracks first.

Extra row of tits posted:

Can I just post a self indulgent whine about how I got a job in my field doing exactly the same role but for the private sector not public with vastly improved conditions and more than tripled my wages only to catch Influenza A, recover from that, and then catch covid two weeks later.

# ? Oct 21, 2022 08:38

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Verdugo posted:

Also we had a few quislings going "yay! i can't wait to go back into the office!" including one grumpy woman from my office who I knew had a giant smirk on her face when she "stuck it to us young folks who want to work from home."

Found the tech illiterate office gossip queen

# ? Oct 21, 2022 16:32

slurm: Jul 28, 2022; by Hand Knit

Tomn posted:

Well, if you insist, lemme tell you about the worst cook I've ever had, bar none.

This isn't THAT far out of normal sea cook behavior!

# ? Oct 21, 2022 20:04

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

I had gotten really hopeful about some job interviews i did a few weeks ago, but i appear to have blown those interviews. My company ceo is going full speed ahead on having us all crosstrain on all the equipment.

So, that does mean that if i keep my job for a while longer, i�ll get trained to use an Icp-ms, an hplc, a gcms, and maybe even an aas system

Which will help me gtfo

# ? Oct 21, 2022 20:37

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Don�t get confused and eat the AAS.

# ? Oct 23, 2022 21:32

TheSpartacus: Oct 30, 2010; HEY GUYS I'VE FLOWN HELICOPTERS IN THIS GAME BEFORE AND I AM AN EXPERT. ALSO, HOW DO I START THE ENGINE?

rotinaj posted:

I had gotten really hopeful about some job interviews i did a few weeks ago, but i appear to have blown those interviews. My company ceo is going full speed ahead on having us all crosstrain on all the equipment.

So, that does mean that if i keep my job for a while longer, i’ll get trained to use an Icp-ms, an hplc, a gcms, and maybe even an aas system

Which will help me gtfo

I'm not sure what you are an expert in currently, but many of that is valuable experience. UPLC-MS (especially peptides and oligos), GC-MS is extremely valuable in particular. ICPMS was more valuable a few years ago when 232 was being implemented, but not so much anymore.

I built my analytical RD career on HPLC, ICPMS, charged aerosol detectors, and MS. That technical base eventually got me into management.

# ? Oct 23, 2022 21:56

demonicon: Mar 29, 2011

I went into management off a 20 year career in software dev. I found myelf totally unprepared. Would you say that you are actually good in managment?

# ? Oct 23, 2022 23:30

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

And if you suck at managing (*turns monitor on*), some sort of technical lead might work too.

# ? Oct 23, 2022 23:34

TheSpartacus: Oct 30, 2010; HEY GUYS I'VE FLOWN HELICOPTERS IN THIS GAME BEFORE AND I AM AN EXPERT. ALSO, HOW DO I START THE ENGINE?

demonicon posted:

I went into management off a 20 year career in software dev. I found myelf totally unprepared. Would you say that you are actually good in managment?

No, but I'll figure it out given that manager track pays way more than an IC.

# ? Oct 24, 2022 02:24

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

TheSpartacus posted:

No, but I'll figure it out given that manager track pays way more than an IC.

Yeah this is the basic problem with tech leadership.

You can't change it on your own so might as well go get that manager money.

# ? Oct 24, 2022 02:45

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

TheSpartacus posted:

No, but I'll figure it out given that manager track pays way more than an IC.

I did IC to Manager but then id been line managing folk as a lead for a while anyway.

As long as you can resisi calling people dipshits then you're probably good. 20 years of dealing with corporate bullshit as an engineer sets you up to manage that element for folk at least.

# ? Oct 24, 2022 09:02

Atopian: Sep 23, 2014; I need a security perimeter with Venetian blinds.

Aramoro posted:

I did IC to Manager but then id been line managing folk as a lead for a while anyway.

As long as you can resisi calling people dipshits then you're probably good. 20 years of dealing with corporate bullshit as an engineer sets you up to manage that element for folk at least.

It's actually quite entertaining to find the most elegant, formal, deniable way possible to call someone an utter loving dipshit, yea, an ur-dipshit, lord and progenitor of shits and friend to dips in their secret homes and ways.

Like, "Although it is clear that there are many things competing for your time, would it be possible for you to share with me the policy or theory underlying the recent decision to do X?" = JUSTIFY YOURSELF OR REPENT, COWARD!

Or, "while this approach is certainly boldly aspirational, and will be treated with all the respect it deserves, it might be worth taking the time to seek the input of a broader group of stakeholders in order to ensure wider applicability." = UR A DIPSHIT, DIPSHIT.

Atopian fucked around with this message at 09:30 on Oct 24, 2022

# ? Oct 24, 2022 09:24

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

Atopian posted:

It's actually quite entertaining to find the most elegant, formal, deniable way possible to call someone an utter loving dipshit, yea, an ur-dipshit, lord and progenitor of shits and friend to dips in their secret homes and ways.

Like, "Although it is clear that there are many things competing for your time, would it be possible for you to share with me the policy or theory underlying the recent decision to do X?" = JUSTIFY YOURSELF OR REPENT, COWARD!

Or, "while this approach is certainly boldly aspirational, and will be treated with all the respect it deserves, it might be worth taking the time to seek the input of a broader group of stakeholders in order to ensure wider applicability." = UR A DIPSHIT, DIPSHIT.

Or you can quote chapter and verse of the work instructions/ process in question. That's how I call managers and tech fellows dipshits (then the spec gets changed because you're not supposed to exploit the loophole like that! )

# ? Oct 24, 2022 12:13

Salami Surgeon: Jan 21, 2001; Don't close. Don't close.; Nap Ghost

You can do like my boss does and continue to be an IC and not manage at all.

# ? Oct 24, 2022 12:22

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Got within spitting distance of naming my tropical IPA after a Naked Raygun song. Now...if I can somehow trick everyone into naming the Biere de Nöel after a Locust song...

# ? Oct 24, 2022 12:34

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Atopian posted:

It's actually quite entertaining to find the most elegant, formal, deniable way possible to call someone an utter loving dipshit, yea, an ur-dipshit, lord and progenitor of shits and friend to dips in their secret homes and ways.

Like, "Although it is clear that there are many things competing for your time, would it be possible for you to share with me the policy or theory underlying the recent decision to do X?" = JUSTIFY YOURSELF OR REPENT, COWARD!

Or, "while this approach is certainly boldly aspirational, and will be treated with all the respect it deserves, it might be worth taking the time to seek the input of a broader group of stakeholders in order to ensure wider applicability." = UR A DIPSHIT, DIPSHIT.

I call it professionalese, and I do agree that it's satisfying as fuuuuuck lol.

At my last job in Boston when I was running a tissue bank, this one researcher thought she was the most important fuckin person and get research took precedent over anyone else's. She emailed me requesting a huge amount of tissue for a grant due in like two weeks, and when I replied "yeah that's not gonna happen but I'll get to you as quickly as I can" she replied in one email saying that she's more important than everyone else and that I need to figure out how to do my job Betty so she can always be accommodated.

I emailed her back very professionally telling her, "I'm not your personal tissue bank, you research doesn't mean poo poo to me, we have clear guidelines about timelines for requesting tissue and if you don't like them here's another place to request tissue that will probably take about a year" but in professionalese.

She immediately backtracked and tried to butter me up and essentially bribe me instead, to get the tissue faster, which also didn't work, lol

# ? Oct 24, 2022 13:11

Lazyfire: Feb 4, 2006; God saves. Satan Invests

Salami Surgeon posted:

You can do like my boss does and continue to be an IC and not manage at all.

That can be annoying especially when approvals run through a manager or you need direction on something. People get into those roles sometimes just because of technical competency and they never really drop what they were doing before being promoted.

That tendency is part of why my company gives you titles based on your level and business function. You can be a manager level person without any direct reports depending on what you are supposed to be doing. If you have nothing but shared services working your programs then you won't have anyone in your tree, so instead of trying to make you a people manager they just let you continue being an IC with a different title.

# ? Oct 24, 2022 13:49

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 09:38

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

Lol my permissions all got pulled a week early so my computer is basically bricked.

On the other hand, I'm not doing any work today because of that.

# ? Oct 24, 2022 13:53

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