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Hekk posted:That’s a military success story if I ever heard one Second only to the legend of Crab Dad. It didn’t even have the oft used “I was gonna be a marine, but…” in it. Dude is 100% a success story. He got a few free nights in a hotel and a couple of hot meals out of Uncle Sam in exchange for poo poo. He should be a goddamn GiP mod if we’re being real here.
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Apr 19, 2023 15:48
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Crab dad has good karma from when he tried to be a cop, was actually honest about fellow recruits harassing women, and was blackballed from forever being a cop as a result. Now he’s the dual gov fed IT guy/navy IT reservist and is going to shortly be a senior NCO in basically record time because he can make good cocktails for admirals.
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Apr 19, 2023 16:46
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:this butt story makes me feel way worse than actual combat stories. I’m so glad you escaped!
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Apr 19, 2023 16:59
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Mr. Nice! posted:Crab dad has good karma from when he tried to be a cop, was actually honest about fellow recruits harassing women, and was blackballed from forever being a cop as a result. Also: unlimited supply of crabs.
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Apr 19, 2023 18:07
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FrozenVent posted:Also: unlimited supply of crabs. Wait…. I thought he was like a fishing/crabbin type crabdad ?!?? 
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Apr 20, 2023 00:06
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He is, delicious delicious crabs.
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Apr 20, 2023 00:32
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Oooooooooohhhhh. Thats waaaay better than what I thought
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Apr 20, 2023 00:49
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Man MEPS was a wild ride. People were told in absolutely no uncertain terms "You will be piss tested on exactly this date. Don't gently caress it up" and I end up in line next to the guy with a gallon of water in hand that is intensely nervous about the process. The whole time I'm thinking "My dude, you knew this was going to happen just put down the blunt for it or maybe this whole military thing isn't for you?" And then I had to walk like a duck before dropping trou and letting some old guy scope out a room full of spread cheeks and buttholes.
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Apr 20, 2023 18:22
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bird food bathtub posted:Man MEPS was a wild ride. People were told in absolutely no uncertain terms "You will be piss tested on exactly this date. Don't gently caress it up" and I end up in line next to the guy with a gallon of water in hand that is intensely nervous about the process. The whole time I'm thinking "My dude, you knew this was going to happen just put down the blunt for it or maybe this whole military thing isn't for you?" The guy from HS I enlisted with broke his foot partying in the hotel after MEPS the night before our flight down to San Diego. So he had to go home and then go through MEPS again. I remember seeing him in formation right after he did Intake while I was in my last week.
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Apr 20, 2023 21:48
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bird food bathtub posted:Man MEPS was a wild ride. People were told in absolutely no uncertain terms "You will be piss tested on exactly this date. Don't gently caress it up" and I end up in line next to the guy with a gallon of water in hand that is intensely nervous about the process. The whole time I'm thinking "My dude, you knew this was going to happen just put down the blunt for it or maybe this whole military thing isn't for you?" Wait, he didn't touch the inside of your butthole? Did anyone else get uhh... inspected?
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Apr 22, 2023 04:26
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Steezo posted:Wait, he didn't touch the inside of your butthole? Did anyone else get uhh... inspected? You have hemorrhoids or fissures? Maybe particularly gnarly anal region acne? Maybe butt herpes? Did you take a poo poo and not shower prior to spreading your bussy for Uncle Sam’s least literate doctors? Like, are you really hairy back there and just got a big old messy loving hair, lint, and poo poo DQ Blizzard back there? Was this prior to 2011 when having some really confused, tired and lost sperm leaking out of your anus at MEPS was a technical violation of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell because Dr. Last In His Class At Peshawar Community College of Animal Husbandry, Witch hunting, and Medicine didn’t ask if you had someone take a ride on your Hershey highway and leave behind all kinds of nougat, but you clearly were telling him you did because just like the “Oops all boo berries” edition your spread bussy inspection was an “Ooops, yeah definitely had a man ejaculate inside me, praise allah as peace be unto him as baby batter be unto my colon and now this lovely government linoleum floor”? It was probably just looking for hemorrhoids. Or you low key got molested, ya know, just some light penetration, before the U.S. Government hosed you harder than a diamond dick when it’s raining titties on heteronormative island. You loving disgust me anyway. What kind of degenerate motherfucker would talk about their MEPS experience and not casually mention they scored so high on the ASVAB that they could choose any job they wanted and chose to be a USMC Water Dawg and here’s my sick Scout Sniper + EGA Lower Back Tactical Tat I got in loving solidarity with everyone else that’s gonna kill themselves when Congress guts VA funding and the Seroquel, Lexapro, Klonopin, and Vicodin get cut off? This is a nation sir. In this nation we have standards, and laws, and while you may not be breaking the latter you are loving unsatisfactory on every possible level in maintaining the former. Smegma Pie, weird anus at MEPS guy. LtCol J. Krusinski fucked around with this message at 05:45 on Apr 22, 2023 |
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Apr 22, 2023 05:42
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LtCol J. Krusinski posted:You have hemorrhoids or fissures? Maybe particularly gnarly anal region acne? Maybe butt herpes? Did you take a poo poo and not shower prior to spreading your bussy for Uncle Sam’s least literate doctors? Like, are you really hairy back there and just got a big old messy loving hair, lint, and poo poo DQ Blizzard back there? Was this prior to 2011 when having some really confused, tired and lost sperm leaking out of your anus at MEPS was a technical violation of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell because Dr. Last In His Class At Peshawar Community College of Animal Husbandry, Witch hunting, and Medicine didn’t ask if you had someone take a ride on your Hershey highway and leave behind all kinds of nougat, but you clearly were telling him you did because just like the “Oops all boo berries” edition your spread bussy inspection was an “Ooops, yeah definitely had a man ejaculate inside me, praise allah as peace be unto him as baby batter be unto my colon and now this lovely government linoleum floor”? Rah
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Apr 22, 2023 11:08
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LtCol J. Krusinski posted:You have hemorrhoids or fissures? Maybe particularly gnarly anal region acne? Maybe butt herpes? Did you take a poo poo and not shower prior to spreading your bussy for Uncle Sam’s least literate doctors? Like, are you really hairy back there and just got a big old messy loving hair, lint, and poo poo DQ Blizzard back there? Was this prior to 2011 when having some really confused, tired and lost sperm leaking out of your anus at MEPS was a technical violation of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell because Dr. Last In His Class At Peshawar Community College of Animal Husbandry, Witch hunting, and Medicine didn’t ask if you had someone take a ride on your Hershey highway and leave behind all kinds of nougat, but you clearly were telling him you did because just like the “Oops all boo berries” edition your spread bussy inspection was an “Ooops, yeah definitely had a man ejaculate inside me, praise allah as peace be unto him as baby batter be unto my colon and now this lovely government linoleum floor”?  Oorah, semper fi, etc.
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Apr 22, 2023 15:58
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Inferior Third Season posted:As a new mod, I'm slowly getting introduced to threads I've never visited through reported posts. I feared the worst, seeing a NSFW report coming from the Marines thread, and yet what I found surpassed all my expectations. A purely text-based post evoking such vivid imagery that someone in a military thread would report it as being too much. Perhaps it technically deserves a probation, but my heart will only allow a Magnificent.
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Apr 22, 2023 16:04
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Inferior Third Season posted:As a new mod, I'm slowly getting introduced to threads I've never visited through reported posts. I feared the worst, seeing a NSFW report coming from the Marines thread, and yet what I found surpassed all my expectations. A purely text-based post evoking such vivid imagery that someone in a military thread would report it as being too much. Perhaps it technically deserves a probation, but my heart will only allow a lmfao
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Apr 22, 2023 17:31
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Inferior Third Season posted:As a new mod, I'm slowly getting introduced to threads I've never visited through reported posts. I feared the worst, seeing a NSFW report coming from the Marines thread, and yet what I found surpassed all my expectations. A purely text-based post evoking such vivid imagery that someone in a military thread would report it as being too much. Perhaps it technically deserves a probation, but my heart will only allow a Tell your children you were present at the birth of a copypasta
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Apr 22, 2023 17:37
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Enlist today!
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Apr 22, 2023 19:02
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LtCol J. Krusinski posted:
asvab doesn't matter much when you go contract artillery because big guns fun. It was also the fastest way out of a pseudo abusive childhood with a failed priest of a parent, literally, he bombed his way out of seminary, who instead hunted spies and gays for the navy and I think that explains some things now that I think about it.
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Apr 22, 2023 19:58
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Shim is either on or off his meds, hard to tell. (For our local contacts, the "Lieutenant Colonel" there is "Shim" because it's a long story)
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Apr 22, 2023 20:05
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Steezo posted:asvab doesn't matter much when you go contract artillery because big guns fun. It was also the fastest way out of a pseudo abusive childhood with a failed priest of a parent, literally, he bombed his way out of seminary, who instead hunted spies and gays for the navy and I think that explains some things now that I think about it. Sorry about your dad, parents suck sometimes. LtCol J. Krusinski fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Apr 23, 2023 |
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Apr 22, 2023 20:06
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That post is one of the best ever seen in the Rah threads.
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Apr 22, 2023 20:09
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Anyone else read smegma pie weird anal guy like those Bud light commercials? Here's to you!
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Apr 22, 2023 20:11
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M_Gargantua posted:Shim is either on or off his meds, hard to tell. I just figured he hit the bong man.
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Apr 22, 2023 23:06
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Every word a testament to enlistment, pure art
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Apr 22, 2023 23:34
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TheWeedNumber posted:I just figured he hit the bong man.  my man
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Apr 23, 2023 01:25
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Hello to anyone from D&D reading this thread.
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Apr 23, 2023 03:32
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Jaxyon posted:What's the current marine opinion on Smedley Butler How about David Shoup? MoH, CMC, opposition to Vietnam, MIC, militarism, and quote:I believe that if we had and would keep our dirty, bloody, dollar-soaked fingers out of the business of these nations so full of depressed, exploited people, they will arrive at a solution of their own—and if unfortunately their revolution must be of the violent type because the "haves" refuse to share with the "have-nots" by any peaceful method, at least what they get will be their own, and not the American style, which they don't want and above all don't want crammed down their throats by Americans
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Apr 24, 2023 16:03
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M_Gargantua posted:Shim is either on or off his meds, hard to tell. Either way their posts are a form of therapy.
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Apr 25, 2023 03:32
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Caught my first ever probe here back in '06. Got complacent and accidentally told the truth. Yeah, back in those days this place was filled to the brim with wild-eyed warmongerers, salivating at the thought of dumping money and blood into the pocket of any folksy blue-haired noble who'd tell 'em what a big strong boy they are for keeping America safe from the evil-doers. Just a total fuckin' freakshow. I wish you boys coulda seen it.
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Apr 25, 2023 03:41
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It's a different time here in this sub forum now. They have Green Beans and Pizza Hut down the street!
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Apr 25, 2023 04:10
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This thread will move on to Business, Finance, and Careers, a province of Ask/Tell, on 1 May. This will be a good opportunity for you guys to figure out how much to spend on an engagement ring so you can get out of the barracks.
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Apr 28, 2023 00:29
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McNally posted:This thread will move on to Business, Finance, and Careers, a province of Ask/Tell, on 1 May. This will be a good opportunity for you guys to figure out how much to spend on an engagement ring so you can get out of the barracks. Good, I was wondering if my %29 APR Mustang loan was too low and I might try to get to above %30 to build credit.
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Apr 28, 2023 00:46
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before you all leave, can you let me know if this decorating scheme is common? https://twitter.com/AricToler/status/1651414600410099715
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Apr 28, 2023 01:04
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Is that teixirans bedroom? That dude was Air national guard typically it's wall to wall anime with those guys
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Apr 28, 2023 01:09
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:Hello to anyone from D&D reading this thread. Howdy!
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Apr 28, 2023 02:52
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McNally posted:This thread will move on to Business, Finance, and Careers, a province of Ask/Tell, on 1 May. This will be a good opportunity for you guys to figure out how much to spend on an engagement ring so you can get out of the barracks. Can I get this family crest plaque I got from the weird dude at the mcx appraised while we're there?
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Apr 28, 2023 03:39
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McNally posted:This thread will move on to Business, Finance, and Careers, a province of Ask/Tell, on 1 May. This will be a good opportunity for you guys to figure out how much to spend on an engagement ring so you can get out of the barracks. I can't wait to get this sick sword up on the wall in the barracks room
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Apr 28, 2023 04:10
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So will the new subforum help me fill out a power of attorney for this hot chick I met on the town? We're planning to get married, she's totally in love with me and just working her way through college right now. Plus I get that sweet BAH. More money so everyone wins!
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Apr 28, 2023 13:38
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bird food bathtub posted:So will the new subforum help me fill out a power of attorney for this hot chick I met on the town? We're planning to get married, she's totally in love with me and just working her way through college right now. Plus I get that sweet BAH. More money so everyone wins! Make sure it's a general poa!
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Apr 28, 2023 13:43
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bird food bathtub posted:So will the new subforum help me fill out a power of attorney for this hot chick I met on the town? We're planning to get married, she's totally in love with me and just working her way through college right now. Plus I get that sweet BAH. More money so everyone wins! Stage 2 of the Judge Advocate Natural Age Progression
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Apr 28, 2023 14:31
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