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Oh man. I've always wanted to go to $CITY to see $SITES and eat $FOOD *Arrives Sunday night, 9pm current time* *waits 10 minutes at car rental counter/taxi stand* *Drives/Is taken to Holiday Inn Express/Microtel/Travel Lodge/Hampton Inn and Suites in an office park or industrial area* *Nearest liquor store is 20 miles away. Considers getting a cab but what would co-workers say?* *Every restaurant is closed but they are all chains anyway. Eats mediocre meal form the hotel kitchen while sitting at the bar nursing watered down scotch* *Hopes the hotel wifi is fast enough to stream pornhub as I return to the room* *Drives/is Driven to historic Downtown $CITY. FINALLY!* *See historic buildings only from the car window* *Only meals are provided by hotel and conference center staff* *Transported back to hotel at 10pm* *checks into 6am flight on WestJet app* *Remembers that Wifi is good enough to stream PornHub. Get timeouts because everyone else at the IT Convention is trying to stream PornHub* *cries*
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Nov 20, 2019 18:50
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 07:11 |
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ProperCoochie posted:Is it a bad idea to take the company car covered in company logos to the strip club? true story i know a sales manager that went to a strip club in florida called "cheaters" and put it all on the company card.
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Nov 20, 2019 18:50
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bomb posted:true story i know a sales manager that went to a strip club in florida called "cheaters" and put it all on the company card. I assume he is the CEO now?
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Nov 20, 2019 18:54
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bomb posted:true story i know a sales manager that went to a strip club in florida called "cheaters" and put it all on the company card. a peck of pickled peckers posted:I assume he is the CEO now? The CEO of a "startup"I worked for would take day trips to the strip club and write it off as "office supplies" because there was an Office Max or Staples across the street. Yes he was fried a year later.
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Nov 20, 2019 18:58
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:I assume he is the CEO now? Director of Sales bomb fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Nov 20, 2019 |
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Nov 20, 2019 19:07
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on the other hand he did have an integral role in landing that big new Cheaters account
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Nov 20, 2019 19:10
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*ceo spends $500 on a lapdance for you without telling you* *stripper sits next to you and watches youtube*
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Nov 20, 2019 19:30
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still wearing my badge on my belt loop when we show up at the TGI Fridays to get LIT
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Nov 20, 2019 19:48
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So what is there to do in Bismarck, North Dakota? (I wish I was joking.)
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Nov 20, 2019 19:57
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Cessna posted:So what is there to do in Bismarck, North Dakota? There's an Olive Garden there and the same fat middle aged man with a camo hat and sunglasses that you will see infinity more times until you leave the poo poo hole known as the State of North Dakota
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Nov 20, 2019 20:02
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sweet thursday posted:There's an Olive Garden there and the same fat middle aged man with a camo hat and sunglasses that you will see infinity more times until you leave the poo poo hole known as the State of North Dakota It's between the Ruby Tuesdays and the Applebees. Again, I wish I was joking.
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Nov 20, 2019 20:10
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*sees random employee you vaguely remember from another trip, but he's way too excited to see you* Hey buddy how's it going, good to see you. Hey where's the bathroom, I've been on a plane for 11 hours.
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Nov 20, 2019 20:35
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Cessna posted:It's between the Ruby Tuesdays and the Applebees. Is that the one that has the Walmart and Super Thorntons on the other side of the highway? Where the Chic-Fil-A and lovely local mexican place is? Also thank you mid west for selling cheap, $5 bottles of Vodka at Circle K after 10pm.
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Nov 20, 2019 20:44
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A Fancy Hat posted:*sees random employee you vaguely remember from another trip, but he's way too excited to see you* "Hey I need to use the bathroom be right back" is my go-to
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Nov 21, 2019 00:01
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No, I am not paying cash for the taxi sir, I don’t care I am not paying cash, if I don’t have the receipt I will not be reimbursed and accounting are real assholes
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Nov 21, 2019 00:47
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*spends three hours finding the right masturbation material, before noticing it's 2:30am and my alarm goes off in four hours*
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Nov 21, 2019 01:20
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"Sorry, I can't make it tonight I'm going to the room to catch up on some work" *spends all night drinking and eating chicken wings while watching anime*
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Nov 21, 2019 01:27
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*looks up closest Hooters* *gazes longingly at street address for 45 minutes before giving up and ordering room service* *gets the shakes from loneliness and depression* *highlight of day is two free bottled waters*
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Nov 21, 2019 01:58
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*trips so hard that he believes himself to be a TPS report*
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Nov 21, 2019 02:07
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***!!!SLAM!!!*** Assholes going to the "Fitness Center" at 6am and decide to have CELL PHONE CONVERSATIONS WHILE WAITING FOR THE ELEVATOR! You try to go to bed but then housekeeping starts banging on doors at 7:30. *reads USA Today while taking a poo poo* *takes a sip of awful, nasty, rank, coffee* *takes shower. Looks up to notice removable show head* *Spends 6 minutes trying to find a setting that on the shower head that feel good on my balls* *Gets out and dries off* *Stands in hotel robe and socks ironing pants and shirt watches TV* *Watches local Good Morning $CITY! show, laughing gently at their regional accent* *nearly burns self on iron because too busy drooling over the local Weather Lady* *hangs up shirt, lays down iron, follows Weather Lady in Insta* *gets dressed, goes down to eat a $35 hotel breakfast*
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Nov 21, 2019 02:11
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"Man we should totally just get up there the day before, and get like a case of beer and just party in the hotel room! Then do the presentations hungover as gently caress the next day hahaha!" *doesn't realize how awful and depressing that sounds*
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Nov 21, 2019 05:28
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one admission for the continental breakfast
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Nov 21, 2019 06:10
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*longs for death*
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Nov 21, 2019 06:19
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*gets a pulled over for doing 115 in a 60 zone* Actually happened. I was busy rockin out and missed my exit, the only one on the PA turnpike for 80 miles, so I was booking it to get to the next exit. Cop was chill because I wasn't anywhere close to anyone else, I had my paperwork in order, I stopped right away. I knew he nailed me so I just was polite as gently caress. Let me off with a 75 in a 60. Needless to say, I was late to the meeting.
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Nov 21, 2019 06:26
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oh poo poo i almost forgot this one what size shirt are you > xl *at conference* all we have is medium
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Nov 21, 2019 06:30
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"oh wow! you get to travel for work, what's that like?" "you ever get smashed at an olive garden in toledo, ohio"
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Nov 21, 2019 06:58
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traveling as a group is the absolute worst - someone panicking about missing the flight - constant complaining about security/lines/ubers/american airlines/dallas airport - a long winded story about a missed flight that takes 30 minutes and ends with nothing interesting happening at all - "why do you have your headphones in? what if you miss an announcement at the gate!!!" - the shittiest driver is the one that gets to drive the massive suburban through downtown traffic - secretly hoping everyone has different flight times on the way back so you can leave separately
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Nov 21, 2019 07:06
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"yeah sure let's all go out to dinner together like we're actually friends" *hides in room, orders room service, goes to sleep early*
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Nov 21, 2019 07:16
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which one of you motherfuckers is that rear end in a top hat client that wont go away and hangs out with the staff all night and does poo poo like vape at the table i know its one of you
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Nov 21, 2019 07:20
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dk2m posted:traveling as a group is the absolute worst *Checks in night before and changes seat so not anywhere near group*
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Nov 21, 2019 08:02
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*arrives at hotel in foreign city, jetlagged and deydrated* "Man, what a lovely journey! I need a few beers to relax!" *Wakes up feeling like poo poo and knowing that you have to give a presentation at 9am* *Blearily reviews PowerPoint on laptop, realises that you never got round to finishing it and it's too late now* *Seriously considers switching phone off and going back to bed*
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Nov 21, 2019 08:12
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*Is told its a pure training exercise and you dont need to prepare anything* *Is emailed a presentation template while in the air flying to the destination that must be filled out prior to the first meeting at 7am tomorrow* *stays up late and panicking to fill it out to discover literally no one else did it and so the 7am to 8:30 session is now entirely about and led by you*
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Nov 21, 2019 09:57
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*Last meeting of the day finishes at the sort of time when I'm normally tucked up in front of the tv post-dinner* *Am informed that taxis are booked and we're now heading to a bar on the other side of the city for compulsory drinks and networking with clients* *I've been wearing the same business suit for over 12 hours* *I'm tired and hungry* *I just want to go back to the hotel and hide in my room  *
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Nov 21, 2019 10:36
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Burnt Dick posted:*Checks in night before and changes seat so not anywhere near group* Pro tier poo poo, right here.
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Nov 21, 2019 14:46
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*Gets too drunk at dinner* *Starts drooling over the hot coworker that was also on the trip* *Has to talk to HR on Monday*
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Nov 21, 2019 15:12
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Furiously flips through delivery apps to see which has the best options in this city
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Nov 21, 2019 15:16
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Jay_Zombie posted:*gets a pulled over for doing 115 in a 60 zone* Same. 95 in a 65 on the way to spend a week meeting with clients in goddamn Buffalo. I was so sick of driving through upstate NY and just wanted to get there.
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Nov 21, 2019 15:35
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*Doesn't shut the gently caress up about the good deal he found on Business Class tickets* *Hates at least half the group, but goes to all events because they can expense alcohol* *Most of the 4 day trip ends up being sales training, but you're the only compliance person on the team. Duck out early to get drunk and meet up later for food and more drinks*
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Nov 21, 2019 15:38
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"Oh wow, Backstreet Boys are in town? Haha, just imagine if we ended up going to see them, that would be so funny!" *ends up paying 60 dollars out of his own pocket because the person running the meeting decided it would be a fun bonding experience but they can't expense it* "Yeah this is wonderful, I sure do love doing things with coworkers!"
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Nov 21, 2019 15:45
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 07:11 |
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Zeluth posted:Where the Popeyes Chicken at? It's always this.
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Nov 21, 2019 15:49
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