Mr. Powers posted:

You're a highschool dropout who works in a micromanaged gas station. Mitchell G. Oxford, your boss and the station owner, doesn't trust you. Who would? When someone pays, he watches on closed circuit and make you wait for his instructions. He doesn't even interact with you directly! He has his secretary get on the intercom to tell you how to make change. Lazy bastard!

"I'd like to buy this candy bar." The customer says.
"That'll be $1.25!" you reply.
The customer slams a twenty on the counter and waits while you sit at the register with a blank look on your face.
The intercom comes to life with a squeal. "Mitchell wants you to take out a ten, a five, three ones, and the quarters. Give that to the customer."
It's Janet, Mitchell's leggy secretary. Her image distracts you for a moment as you open the cash drawer.
"Bzzt!" A loud humming on the brink of feedback startles you. "Mitchell wants you to take out three quarters, three ones, a five, and a ten. Give that to the customer." a raspy voice commands. This is the voice of decades of smoking. What the hell was that? The customer, who had been standing patiently, flinches slightly at the squawking.
Completely off guard, you resume your task, putting the twenty in the register.
"Squeal!" Definitely feedback now, the same voice begins to give the same order, but now it's joined by three other voices. "Take out a ten, put the twenty in." "Take out a quarter, two ones, another quarter, another one!" You can tell one voice is Russian or another former Soviet Bloc native, another could pass for some sort of Scandinavian accent, with another three sounding Asian. Your customer doesn't seem fazed by them.
With the sounds of at least eight distinct voices coming through the intercom, you start to make change. Three quarters, a ten, a five, and three ones. Sliding them across the counter, you're relieved to hear silence again. The customer seems pleased, perhaps a bit too pleased to have purchased an overpriced plain Hershey bar. You could understand the excitement over 100 Grand or Pay Day, but a Hershey bar? Something seemed fishy. He was probably on drugs.
You shrug the whole ordeal off and sit back down, gazing off into nothing particular, waiting for the next customer.
Minutes pass when you hear the intercom click. "Did you do what I asked?" Janet again.
You press the mic button and reply quizzically "Huh?"
"Did you do what I asked? Did you give him a ten, a five, three ones, and three quarters in that order?" The last words spoken with a staccato.
"Uh, I guess not."
"Dammit, you're a worthless employee, you gently caress up. Mitchell ought to fire you." She shouted back. "Do it again. Don't gently caress this up." She was mad. Mitchell was going to tear you another when he came out of his office later. Maybe this would be the final straw; maybe you'd be on the streets next week, unable to pay your rent.
As you look up, the same customer is back, almost as if he appeared from nowhere. He's smiling. Definitely drugs. "I believe you have something for me?"
You take out the money, a ten, a five, three ones, and three quarters, and hand it to him. He runs off, and... And, did he just click his heels? That can't be. You're just tired.
"I took care of it." You speak into the intercom.
"Thanks," replies Janet. "At least it only took you two times to get it right. Did you even pass math?" She hit you where it hurts, knowing you dropped out of school to take care of your sickly mother.
As the week goes on, this odd sequence seems to repeat. What do you care? You're still drawing a paycheck, and Mitchell hasn't fired you yet. Late Thursday, you notice the cash drawer is getting low.
"Janet, can you bring me some changes to restock the register? I'm low on bills." You speak into the mic.
"What the hell? There should be $250 in bills in there! I'm coming out there!" She must be furious. As she exits the office, you take a moment to admire her beauty. The moment is cut short as she pushes you out of the way.
"This register is short $245! Did you loving steal from us?" She doesn't try to hide her slip up, revealing that the rumors of her and Mitchell are true.
"No. I haven't. This week has been crazy, though. What's with the other guys telling me how to make change?"
"I have no idea what you're taking about. Your supposed to do what I say! Have you been making chang another way?"
"Maybe? I don't know. There are so many voices shouting. In making change, but then you always have me give them change again. I'm just trying to follow your orders."
"WHAT?!" she screams right in your face. "You mean to tell me this whole time you've been giving out change and then again when I make you repeat it? You just bent Mitchell over the desk and gave it to him real good. That's it. We have no money. This is it. It's happening!" She was so vulgar. That made her all the more attractive.
"Look, why does it matter if I make change a different way. Why don't you just ask if I gave the right amount? Why depend on me making it in a specific order?"
"You poo poo. This is your problem to fix! There's nothing wrong with Mitch's process. You need to learn to do things in the order I tell you. Wear earplugs or something if other people are telling you otherwise." She was red faced now.
"If you don't fix this, this business will fail. The economy's still in the shitter, we were scraping by before, and now you're telling me we have no cash. I'm taking this out of your paycheck, now fix the loving problem or this will be the undoing of Mitchell G. Oxford!"

(c) now, me.

VERTiG0 posted:

are you people not tired of this poo poo yet

VERTiG0 posted:

are you people not tired of this poo poo yet

Linguica posted:

thank god my internet isn't metered I guess

Linguica posted:

ugh utorrent just told me a download was complete and somehow i had clicked on a link to download a copy of the blockchain, all 15 gigs of it

thank god my internet isn't metered I guess

Linguica posted:

ugh utorrent just told me a download was complete and somehow i had clicked on a link to download a copy of the blockchain, all 15 gigs of it

thank god my internet isn't metered I guess

Linguica posted:

ugh utorrent just told me a download was complete and somehow i had clicked on a link to download a copy of the blockchain, all 15 gigs of it

thank god my internet isn't metered I guess

stoutfish posted:

stop using micro-torrent you dumbass

Robawesome posted:

[–]cobolNoFun 15 points 3 hours ago

Lets say there are two buses driving around town.

Bus 1 (gox) got a flat tire one day. However, instead of dealing with it, they just kept going. The flat tire caused problems (rough ride, taking longer to get to stops, passing stops, loud noises, and general miserableness of a ride). People started to complain, but the bus driver just kept driving, causing the problems to get worse and worse, until it got to a point where the flat tire shot off the rim hitting and breaking the only door off the bus. Now no one can get off the bus, but the driver just keeps driving. Finally after a few passengers jump out of the windows, the driver slams on the breaks and says "I am not going to drive any further until i figure out the problem".

To the passengers on the bus, this is even worse then before. Before the couldn't get off the bus, now the bus isn't even going anywhere, they are so used to be beaten and ignored on that bus they feel the bus driver is just continuing down his path of stupid. He might be drunk, we don't know.

After a while he discovers the tire is flat. He comes back onto the bus and says "the tire is flat, the company did a bad job creating that tire and we will sit here on the side of the road till the tire company fixes their mistake". Obviously the bus passengers are angry. He could have stopped on looked at the tire a long time ago. He could be fixing the problem with the spare tire that is attached to the bus. It is like a bad dream for these poor passengers.

Bus 2 (bitstamp) has been doing his route like normal during all of this. He has missed a few stops here and there, was late to a stop a couple times, but overall been a decent bus driver. Hell, no one will complain, because their other option is the crazy bus with a flat tire.

So Bus 2 comes around the turn and sees bus 1 sitting on the side of the road. He pulls up and asks why he is just parked there? He learns of the bad tires and bus1's plan to wait for the tire company. He thinks about it for a second and realizes he has the same tires on his bus. So the bus 2 driver pulls over in front of Bus 1 and tells his passengers "Hold on guys i am going to go check out the tires, and replace them WITH THE SPARE if they need to be replaced. should be back on the road shortly" The passengers on bus2 are upset they have to wait, but think back to the horror stories of bus1...

Robawesome posted:

[–]cobolNoFun 15 points 3 hours ago

Lets say there are two buses driving around town.

Bus 1 (gox) got a flat tire one day. However, instead of dealing with it, they just kept going. The flat tire caused problems (rough ride, taking longer to get to stops, passing stops, loud noises, and general miserableness of a ride). People started to complain, but the bus driver just kept driving, causing the problems to get worse and worse, until it got to a point where the flat tire shot off the rim hitting and breaking the only door off the bus. Now no one can get off the bus, but the driver just keeps driving. Finally after a few passengers jump out of the windows, the driver slams on the breaks and says "I am not going to drive any further until i figure out the problem".

To the passengers on the bus, this is even worse then before. Before the couldn't get off the bus, now the bus isn't even going anywhere, they are so used to be beaten and ignored on that bus they feel the bus driver is just continuing down his path of stupid. He might be drunk, we don't know.

After a while he discovers the tire is flat. He comes back onto the bus and says "the tire is flat, the company did a bad job creating that tire and we will sit here on the side of the road till the tire company fixes their mistake". Obviously the bus passengers are angry. He could have stopped on looked at the tire a long time ago. He could be fixing the problem with the spare tire that is attached to the bus. It is like a bad dream for these poor passengers.

Bus 2 (bitstamp) has been doing his route like normal during all of this. He has missed a few stops here and there, was late to a stop a couple times, but overall been a decent bus driver. Hell, no one will complain, because their other option is the crazy bus with a flat tire.

So Bus 2 comes around the turn and sees bus 1 sitting on the side of the road. He pulls up and asks why he is just parked there? He learns of the bad tires and bus1's plan to wait for the tire company. He thinks about it for a second and realizes he has the same tires on his bus. So the bus 2 driver pulls over in front of Bus 1 and tells his passengers "Hold on guys i am going to go check out the tires, and replace them WITH THE SPARE if they need to be replaced. should be back on the road shortly" The passengers on bus2 are upset they have to wait, but think back to the horror stories of bus1...

Boxturret posted:

wow some smilies are really poorly made

stoutfish posted:

stop using utorrent you dumbass

FrozenVent posted:

lol ur a bitcoiner now

Adix posted:

how am i supposed to download my linux isos then

FrozenVent posted:

step 1: dont
step 2: kill you are self

Adix posted:

bbbbbut open sores

FrozenVent posted:

you'd think

FrozenVent posted:

you'd think people would put in some effort before dropping thirty bucks

edit: holy poo poo is a thing

Linguica posted:

ugh utorrent just told me a download was complete and somehow i had clicked on a link to download a copy of the blockchain, all 15 gigs of it

thank god my internet isn't metered I guess

FrozenVent posted:

Linguica posted:

ugh utorrent just told me a download was complete and somehow i had clicked on a link to download a copy of the blockchain, all 15 gigs of it

thank god my internet isn't metered I guess

Heresiarch posted:

i know, it's just really funny that blockchain.info is calling it that

also it allows me to set up this which ought to piss some people off to no end

Heresiarch posted:

is this too subtle?

killhamster posted:

yeah that's how it's supposed to work

one reached six confirmations and found its way into the official blockchain and the other was orphaned and discarded

Robawesome posted:

this spam attack thing is just great.



and I can't be bothered to look for it but i've seen people post cell phone pics of this transaction with the accompanying message

"this small amount of BTC can probably never be spent economically"

jony ive aces posted:

Robawesome posted:

[–]bigwhitebike 14 points 10 hours ago

0%. I'll take out loans, work street corners, and max out credit cards if it goes to $1.

...! posted:

gently caress if i know how that article writer is posting from "tomorrow" but i guess bitcoins enable time travel or something

Dex posted:

https://bitcoinfoundation.org/blog/?p=422

Update on Transaction Malleability
Gavin Andresen Feb 11 2014

You may have noticed that some exchanges have temporarily suspended withdrawals and wondering what’s going on or more importantly, what’s being done about it. You can be rest assured that we have identified the issue and are collectively and collaboratively working on a solution.

Somebody (or several somebodies) is taking advantage of the transaction malleability issue and relaying mutated versions of transactions. This is exposing bugs in both the reference implementation and some exchange’s software.

We (core dev team, developers at the exchanges, and even big mining pools) are creating workarounds and fixes right now. This is a denial-of-service attack; whoever is doing this is not stealing coins, but is succeeding in preventing some transactions from confirming. It’s important to note that DoS attacks do not affect people’s bitcoin wallets or funds.

Users of the reference implementation who are bitten by this bug may see their bitcoins “tied up” in unconfirmed transactions; we need to update the software to fix that bug, so when they upgrade those coins are returned to the wallet and are available to spend again. Only users who make multiple transactions in a short period of time will be affected.

As a result, exchanges are temporarily suspending withdrawals to protect customer funds and prevent funds from being misdirected.

Thanks for your patience. Follow us @BTCFoundation for updates as we learn more and make progress.