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bulletsponge13 posted:Anytime they bitches at what I was doing doing, I'd ask if they hear a phone ringing. I'm not sure how this line was supposed to read, but that sounds like an awesome song lyric.
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Aug 6, 2019 01:56
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Icon Of Sin posted:I think “released by POTUS (no matter how loving dumb it was)” makes it declassified, but I really hope I’m wrong about that. "It's not illegal if the president does it."
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Aug 31, 2019 02:54
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So, idiots: This weekend is "Fleet Fest" at Naval Station Norfolk. Tomorrow (Saturday) the public can go on base to tour ships, see some aircraft static displays (and buy some quality E-2 merchandise that supports a good cause  ), and see a demonstration from the SEAL/SWCC team. Who are a bunch of absolute loving idiots. Today we hosted a bunch of school groups to get the same tour as the general public on Saturday, and I was on duty talking about the plane. Hundreds of kids swarming around asking adorable questions like "how do people die in this plane" and "what's the RPM of the propeller". A fun day for everyone. But as things are winding down and most of the kids are walking to their buses, the SWCC dickbrains decide to run their tactical demonstration that starts off with full-auto blank bursts from an M-249. With zero warning. Absolute loving chaos ensues as everyone screams and runs for the buses. Kids get knocked over and one is drat near trampled. Consider that this is 2019 and kids now get active shooter training before they learn cursive. I have no doubts that this is going to cause nightmares for a lot of those kids. Plus, when I walked over to see what the hell these chucklefucks were doing, they were firing blanks directly at the crowd. I'm not an expert on blank firing but I'm pretty sure that's still a bad loving idea. Just like that entire exercise.
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Oct 19, 2019 00:38
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We got told to install the NFAAS app so we could muster during the last hurricane evacuation, but fortunately it doesn't even work on the OS of my obscure niche phone. You probably haven't heard of it, it's called "Android", made by small indie start-up "Google".
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Nov 13, 2019 01:25
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Absurd Alhazred posted:https://twitter.com/HotlineJosh/status/1214693426274480129 It also takes like two hours to get onto some bases right now because they knee-jerk implemented a bunch of security procedures without the manning or infrastructure to actually support them.
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Jan 8, 2020 02:19
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Godholio posted:STOP CRYING https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvPugcb7QGE
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Jan 17, 2020 03:43
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BIG HEADLINE posted:Again - sounds a lot like most of Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Hampton, Newport News, and *definitely* Chesapeake and Suffolk. Except the casino. Those'll probably come after Pat Robertson dies. Norfolk City Council approves casino deal at downtown waterfront.
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Jan 25, 2020 13:55
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Casimir Radon posted:Kids are stressful, or at least that's what I hear, but if you can't handle one toddler and land yourself in the funny farm your next thought probably shouldn't be that you'd be really good at deconflicting aircraft full of hundreds of people. At least the pilots are legally required to do what you tell them.
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Feb 8, 2020 23:38
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Steve1989 taught me that the IDF invented a kosher equivalent of spam called Loof.
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Feb 17, 2020 03:48
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Someone who wants to get this out onto a tray. Nice...
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Apr 3, 2020 19:00
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Guest2553 posted:I remember a sortie being recalled shortly after takeoff because a maintainer left a tool in the gear well. I've literally been on a flight where that happened, though for us it was while we were on our way home anyway. Or at least, they thought they might have left a tool in the plane; by the time we landed they had found it in the shop.
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Apr 22, 2020 23:16
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There's a story about a guy in the back of a Hawkeye pressing his bare rear end up against the window and asking another plane to join up with them, saying "hey, we think there may be a crack in one of the windows in the back, can you take a look?"
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Apr 30, 2020 20:02
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chitoryu12 posted:Second, those "stocks" on the AR-15s look like they're actually pistol braces of the kind used to skirt the NFA. These guys were making sure their rifles were civilian legal in the United States for doing a coup as mercenaries. Since I know non-military/non-gun owner people enjoy reading this thread, I'll point out that this is especially funny because it takes like 10 seconds to turn a couple of Completely Legal gun parts (an upper receiver with a short barrel and a lower receiver with a full shoulder stock) into a Completely Illegal Unregistered Short Barreled Rifle if you really wanted to. What they did is like making sure your car insurance is valid on the getaway car for your bank robbery.
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May 7, 2020 23:30
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iwentdoodie posted:Military punishment is cyclical. Only because the Geneva convention bans collective punishment.
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May 21, 2020 22:50
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Tashilicious posted:this isn't even the first time I've seen that exact exchange. Raiad posted:i thought i was riffing off a fairly well known tweet, can't remember whose it was though Apparently it's a Richard Spencer quote, though I'm sure other people have said it in earnest as well.
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Jun 9, 2020 23:28
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Ugly In The Morning posted:He called the ambulance because he had been coughing up blood. I find that very hard to believe. Specifically the idea that his body would still contain blood, rather than red-tinted nicotine sludge.
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Jul 1, 2020 22:16
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bird food bathtub posted:I have no idea what these unit labels are. How many roentgens are we talking? *rushes into thread panting for breath* NOT GREAT... NOT TERRIBLE... LOLOLOLOL Sorry, is it obvious that I'm really tired of that "joke" whenever anything relating to radiation comes up?
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Jul 3, 2020 01:48
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spacetoaster posted:he kept referring to us all as "managers of violence". Ah yes, the person Karen demands to talk to at the violence store.
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Jul 6, 2020 23:05
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Content warning: suicide.
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Jul 11, 2020 01:37
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PathAsc posted:Probably had dude come from post to mast with the intention of going straight back to post. I've never seen a mast where the mastee wasn't in a dress uniform. I'm assuming this is Navy, other services don't call it captain's mast, right? I'm almost wondering if some wires got crossed in the story and the ND was from the MA who escorts the guy getting masted, not the guy himself. That still raises a lot of questions, but... simpler ones, at least.
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Jul 19, 2020 13:03
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Internet Wizard posted:The only good log entry I've gotten to do was the time a raccoon fell off the roof of my barracks on DLI when I was on duty. Dang thing got up after about an hour of lying motionless and wobbled off into the forest. I wish I had gotten a picture of the log from my old squadron that went something like 0230: All conditions normal. 0252: Heard scratching sound coming from briefing room ceiling. Investigated. Nothing found. 0310: Raccoon fell out of ceiling in ready room, attacked ASDO. 0312: Raccoon escaped back into ceiling. SDO notified.
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Jul 21, 2020 23:04
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"Treat every gun as if it's loaded, unless you loaded it with dummy rounds, in which case hey, go nuts and have a lol".
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Jul 28, 2020 21:32
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He's a marnie
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Jul 30, 2020 20:39
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MrUnderbridge posted:Well, it's Marines, so they probably thought there were. "I intentionally misspelled comittment, see?"
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Jul 30, 2020 22:39
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Vengarr posted:Off-season is actually the best time to get a deal, everyone is desperate to get their old stock out. But do you really want to be stuck with last year's model of lawnmower, like a total dork?
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Aug 5, 2020 02:31
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Cyrano4747 posted:Which kind of confused me because I thought these guys were supposed to be coy about what they do? Maybe once you hit command ranks that changes? I dunno I'm an extremely high drag, low speed internet rear end in a top hat with zero knowledge of how these guys work beyond poo poo I've read online. And I don't even make a point of trying to do too much of that. So I actually just learned that this was a thing, in the course of learning about selection board results and slating: for the ranks of O-4 and below there's a "reasonable expectation of privacy" in federal law which restricts how much the military can publish about you. However, from O-5 on up, that changes, which is why you can see the biographies of unit commanders on the unit web page and whatnot. They're considered "public figures" to some extent. You shouldn't ever see an O-4 or below bio like that. I assume there's a similar thing for E-9's because you usually see the CMC bio or equivalent posted as well.
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Aug 5, 2020 22:00
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Look at it this way, at least none of them caught on fire.
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Aug 10, 2020 21:16
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Man, I've seen that John Ringo thread pop up a few times but never really buckled down and read through it until now. Up to page 13 and one thing I realized is that the thread is only a few months before Bin Laden actually got whacked by Seals in stealth helicopters. I hope the thread was still active for that.
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Aug 19, 2020 16:19
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Jaguars! posted:This post reminded me of a guy. We were in a contact drill and a smoke genny caused a grass fire. He heard the call FIRE FIRE FIRE and interpreted it to mean "keep firing my rifle", which he did until the enemy party jumped out of their positions and ran past him to help the rest of us put the fire out. I thought that was just a joke in Futurama. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsY0PVqTleY&t=17s
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Sep 7, 2020 15:39
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Godholio posted:Pete Mitchell got caught loving a calf or something, for example. It's fun to watch the credits for Top Gun and compare the callsigns of the characters to the callsigns of the actual pilots who flew for the flight footage. The characters are all these super cool sounding ones and the real pilots are stuff like "Booger" and "Muffins".
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Sep 9, 2020 00:50
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I love a good acronym, and the all-time greatest one I ever heard was a guy who forgot to tuck himself back in after using the relief tube on a flight. He lands, hops out onto the flight deck, and immediately gets christened DOOFUS: Dick Out Of Flightsuit, Unusually Small.
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Sep 9, 2020 04:33
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I remember that also coming up for discussion in Guam when the Teddy Roosevelt was trying to find hotel rooms to quarantine people and the local government was saying hell no. Though if push came to shove in that case they probably would have just said "not a state, no rights for you, get hosed".
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Sep 16, 2020 16:01
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maffew buildings posted:How many kids enlisting on that line actually know what SF does because findinf out you work with a variety of brown people would think the applicant pool I bet *signs up for a SF contract* *gets posted to gate guard duty* *looks at contract* "Security Forces MOS" canyoneer posted:Someone was telling me the base facebook spouse groups have been blowing up with "how do I not spend the money? If it's there, it's getting spent" and it feels a lot like the SNL sketch of "Don't buy things you cannot afford" https://twitter.com/dril/status/384408932061417472
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Sep 17, 2020 03:31
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Confirming the order could take literally minutes, whereas canceling it would take... oh look, I already did it.
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Sep 18, 2020 20:59
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bulletsponge13 posted:My favorite part is just enough of some of them ring true enough. Like, 1/3 of the stort is total bullshit- but completely believable bullshit. What's that quote? "Every war story is a true war story?" I like to use a paraphrase of Neil Gaiman - it didn't necessarily actually happen, but it's still true.
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Sep 29, 2020 04:08
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The Hatch Act doesn't apply to military members, that would be governed by DOD Directive 1344.10, Political Activities by Members of the Armed Forces. You can read the full list of do's and don'ts there, but essentially you can express a personal opinion as long as you're not doing it "as a representative of the Armed Forces". You can't participate in most partisan activities, especially in uniform, though things like going to a rally as a private citizen are allowed. With social media one of the gray areas is whether a social media account that identifies a person as being in the military counts as being "a representative of the Armed Forces". Most guidance errs on the side of "just don't do it" but I don't think it's something that's been very well tested or established. I think it would be especially hard to make a case against someone praising an elected official vice disparaging one. Officers are also held to UCMJ Section 888 - Contempt Toward Officials, which bans "contemptuous words against the President, the Vice President, Congress, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of a military department, the Secretary of Homeland Security, or the Governor or legislature of any State, Commonwealth, or possession in which he is on duty or present". Evidently it is totally legally permissible to say that Tim Mnuchin is a fuckwit, though.
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Oct 4, 2020 01:12
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Memento posted:Basically he's saying "I will shoot a minority for being a minority" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc2cPuwpqTg&t=82s
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Oct 9, 2020 05:20
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Cythereal posted:So, I am a civilian working at a small university in an office job. A new guy who just got hired for our department was here today doing all the HR and paperwork he needs before he officially starts next week, and we treated him to a coffee and donuts meet'n'greet with the department. It comes up that he's ex-Army, former enlisted. The trick to making it a career is obviously to stay in long enough to be the one doing the pissing.  Hold on, I'm getting an update from the career military side of things: https://twitter.com/ArmsControlWonk/status/1372945884590309376 Wingnut Ninja fucked around with this message at 02:19 on Mar 20, 2021 |
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Mar 20, 2021 02:17
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I wonder if we can get a Green New Deal rider to incentivize that paint scheme on the basis of weight/fuel efficiency. No, I don't care if whatever varnish they use is heavier than regular paint or if bare metal causes increased maintenance costs, shut up.
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Mar 20, 2021 03:21
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Godholio posted:It's not. I don't know the specific math, but we do this sort of thing a lot and I absolutely do not believe that Moseley said it goes to 100%. The dude was a fighter pilot. Deciding when to use one missile vs two to enhance probably of kill was the fulcrum of his job for a decade. On the other hand, people will definitely use completely bullshit math and logic if their plan requires it in order to work. I don't know about this particular case, especially based off a one-line blurb, but I could easily imagine something along the lines of "to get a .9 Pd we would need four jets, but we can't spare four jets for it, so say it'll work with two".
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Mar 20, 2021 20:56
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