What is the first household object you're gonna f@ck

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What is the first household object you're gonna f@ck

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK: Jan 26, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

It's been a grueling seven days and it's apparent that this quarantine has taken its toll on us. The end is nowhere near in sight. The psychological strain is tremendous. Goon solidarity and steely resolve are the only things that have maintained our sanity. And yet, these too have a limit ........

When you are starved for intimate contact, what's the first thing in your house that you plan on loving? Non-human only. No pets either you sickos

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:11

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 01:10

a dmc delorean: Jul 2, 2006; Live the dream

Try a fleshlight, op

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:12

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

I'm gonan gently caress u

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:13

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

im gonna gently caress a really dry angel food cake

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:23

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

I'm gonna gently caress anything that gets in my way, just like I always have

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:32

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

I can't remember back that far.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:44

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

My life, as usual

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:44

klosterdev: Oct 10, 2006; Na na na na na na na na Batman!

Brawny Man looking ripped lately

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:45

RVWinkle: Aug 24, 2004; In relating the circumstances which have led to my confinement within this refuge for the demented, I am aware that my present position will create a natural doubt of the authenticity of my narrative.; Nap Ghost

This question should be past tense as in "What was the first household object you hosed?"

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:50

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

*looks directly into camera* My wife!

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:56

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

You'd be surprised how many hairbrush handles have been up someones bum.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:59

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

I'm gonna gently caress a nice warm loaf of bread

# ? Mar 29, 2020 17:59

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

home office shredder, op

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:00

YoursTruly: Jul 29, 2012; Put me in the ~~trash~~
Recycle Bin
where
I belong.

Toilet paper rolls, op.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:00

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

Lol if you haven't started years ago

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:02

My Shoes: Jul 23, 2019

i have toys for this.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:31

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

Why do people cum inside their socks. That poo poo is gross, why not just use tissues or something that you can just throw out

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:31

Alucard: Mar 11, 2002; Pillbug

YoursTruly posted:

Toilet paper rolls, op.

Way to lord it over all the rest of us that you have toilet paper.

Can of baked beans. I;m thinking about thos Beans already

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:31

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

My Shoes posted:

i have toys for this.

no it has to be a household object

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:33

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

It's more a question of what object I haven't hosed. A non comprehensive list:

The dog
The blender

Not sure where to go from here.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:35

My Shoes: Jul 23, 2019

Dell_Zincht posted:

no it has to be a household object

what with the indoor plumbing and all not sure there are many safe objects

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:37

Away all Goats: Jul 5, 2005; Goose's rebellion

I definitely tried to gently caress my pillow as a pre teen

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:39

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

My Shoes posted:

what with the indoor plumbing and all not sure there are many safe objects

A pen
A slightly bigger pen
A sharpie
A hairbrush
A curling iron
A rolling pin

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:40

My Shoes: Jul 23, 2019

Dell_Zincht posted:

A pen
A slightly bigger pen
A sharpie
A hairbrush
A curling iron
A rolling pin

What are: things that go in your butt!

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:42

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

The ottoman

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:43

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

My Shoes posted:

What are: things that go in your butt!

Your butt maybe, not mine.

~~I prefer a fist~~

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:44

Spinz: Jan 7, 2020; I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:46

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

My Shoes posted:

What are: things that go in your butt!

Things can't go in the butt!

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:48

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

I'm going to make sweet, passionate love to my TI-83. Graph for me baby!

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:49

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Why do people cum inside their socks. That poo poo is gross, why not just use tissues or something that you can just throw out

That's not my sock.

It's yours.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:54

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

Pawn 17 posted:

I'm going to make sweet, passionate love to my TI-83. Graph for me baby!

My curvy calculator

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:56

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

Weka posted:

That's not my sock.

It's yours.

Oh... Oh yeah!!!??? Well I just hosed your air filter... have fun breathing that in BITCH

# ? Mar 29, 2020 18:58

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Spinz posted:

So how was the salad?

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:06

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Oh... Oh yeah!!!??? Well I just hosed your air filter... have fun breathing that in BITCH

Buddy I'm a hillbilly the only air filter I have is in my truck. Brb, gonna go pull it out and have a huffy.

E:

Who What Now posted:

So how was the salad?

A caesar.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:07

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

Weka posted:

A caesar.

Stabbed in the back? :q:

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:15

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

My Spirit Otter posted:

Stabbed in the back?

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:19

free hubcaps: Oct 12, 2009

seems like ladies have more options for fuckable household objects, this isnt fair

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:22

My Shoes: Jul 23, 2019

free hubcaps posted:

seems like ladies have more options for fuckable household objects, this isnt fair

you can still put things in your butt

E: I recently heard a story about a dude that squirted a bunch of lotion into a ziplock bag, put the bag between his mattress and boxspring, and hosed that. I guess you can try that.

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:23

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

That seems like a good way to ruin a mattress and box spring

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:43

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 01:10

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

We could just break quarantine and gently caress a person

We're all bug chasers now

# ? Mar 29, 2020 19:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What is the first household object you're gonna f@ck

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