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Survivorman weeping with joy and rubbing himself raw after finding a moldy half of an old Hustler while stranded in the swamplands of Georgia's Altamaha River Basin. Bear Grilles explaining that, while finding an old Hustler, or even an old Playboy would be ideal, in a pinch, one could make do with a Victoria's Secret catalogue, or, failing that, the lingerie section of a discarded JC Penny catalogue. Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 06:14 on Jan 10, 2022 |
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Jan 9, 2022 20:01
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| # ? May 19, 2024 01:57 |
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bear wringing all the piss out of an old Juggs says its hydrating but also its just like slurping on a boob |
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Jan 9, 2022 20:12
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The contestants on Survivor lining up for their next challenge. At stake: a tube of lube |
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Jan 9, 2022 20:22
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to me the gentle susurrus of a creek beneath its veil of ice is as lovely as a dumptruck rear end, and the lithe curve of a willow tree is as unto a blue-ribbon power dong to my sight
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Jan 9, 2022 20:23
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How Wonderful! posted:to me the gentle susurrus of a creek beneath its veil of ice is as lovely as a dumptruck rear end, and the lithe curve of a willow tree is as unto a blue-ribbon power dong to my sight |
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Jan 9, 2022 20:23
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as they led my weird uncle Roger to prison, he turned to the assembled court "you want my woods porn, you can have it I left everything I gathered together in one piece. Now you'll just have to find it!" |
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Jan 9, 2022 22:08
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can't wait for the next issue of Sporeboy magazine, I hear the centerfold is gonna be Amanita phalloides, hubba hubba! showing off her* mycelia and everything!
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Jan 9, 2022 22:14
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Khanstant posted:bear wringing all the piss out of an old Juggs says its hydrating but also its just like slurping on a boob |
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Jan 10, 2022 03:51
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now some people will forget to boil their gamergirl bathwater before drinking - and well, we all know the consequences of that. dysentary, hpv, death. take the time. boil it thoroughly, then put on your maid outfit, and chug safe in sound in the knowledge that all that remains is gamergirl skin particles and good old h 2 o.
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Jan 10, 2022 03:53
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Stop being such a tease, moss-covered rock. |
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Jan 10, 2022 04:00
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hanging out with bigfoot every weekend but still can't find any evidence of his hog |
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Jan 10, 2022 04:57
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Jan 10, 2022 04:59
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Jan 10, 2022 05:00
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In the spirit of bringing old and new together, I hid a bunch of thumb drives full of porn out in the woods. *Survivor guy, frustrated with no way to view the contents, rubs one off staring at the usb port, dreaming about what's inside*
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Jan 10, 2022 12:21
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Becoming the first contestant on Alone to die from tuggin' when one of my items is just a garbage bag full of moldy old gently caress books.
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Jan 10, 2022 15:33
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satyrs and nymphs just idly hanging around, cursing the woods porn that has put them out of a job
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Jan 10, 2022 16:05
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Twenty Four posted:In the spirit of bringing old and new together, I hid a bunch of thumb drives full of porn out in the woods. some kinds of otters are actually smart enough to crack thumb drives open by holding them between their bellies and a sharpened stone, allowing them to access the juicy morsels within! #ottermondays #otterfacts #youotterknow
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Jan 10, 2022 17:10
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Jan 10, 2022 17:40
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I reach for the enticing picture of a boob, and only realize too late that the nipple is 3cm off, it's a fake! The wolves spring their trap, and another soul is lost to the woods.
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Jan 10, 2022 18:16
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Yinlock posted:I reach for the enticing picture of a boob, and only realize too late that the nipple is 3cm off, it's a fake! The wolves spring their trap, and another soul is lost to the woods. lol |
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Jan 10, 2022 18:25
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For months I roamed the wilderness in search of civilization; I ate nothing but rear end the entire time just to survive. And for fun. Mostly that actually. |
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Jan 10, 2022 23:00
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How Wonderful! posted:to me the gentle susurrus of a creek beneath its veil of ice is as lovely as a dumptruck rear end, and the lithe curve of a willow tree is as unto a blue-ribbon power dong to my sight |
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Jan 10, 2022 23:30
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How Wonderful! posted:some kinds of otters are actually smart enough to crack thumb drives open by holding them between their bellies and a sharpened stone, allowing them to access the juicy morsels within! #ottermondays #otterfacts #youotterknow Bright Bart posted:For months I roamed the wilderness in search of civilization; I ate nothing but rear end the entire time just to survive. lol
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Jan 11, 2022 13:37
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Yinlock posted:I reach for the enticing picture of a boob, and only realize too late that the nipple is 3cm off, it's a fake! The wolves spring their trap, and another soul is lost to the woods. i've been searching these woods for years, trying to find a picture of a boob. i'm starting to think that they don't exist.
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Jan 11, 2022 14:39
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How Wonderful! posted:some kinds of otters are actually smart enough to crack thumb drives open by holding them between their bellies and a sharpened stone, allowing them to access the juicy morsels within! #ottermondays #otterfacts #youotterknow with any luck, some of the squirrels who find and bury the thumb drives for sustenance during the winter will forget about their stash, and up will grow a porn tree, its leaves unmistakably patterned with bawdy scenes for the enjoyment of the forest's inhabitants
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Jan 11, 2022 16:33
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Manifisto posted:with any luck, some of the squirrels who find and bury the thumb drives for sustenance during the winter will forget about their stash, and up will grow a porn tree, its leaves unmistakably patterned with bawdy scenes for the enjoyment of the forest's inhabitants *pulling a Tijuana Bible out of my knapsack and taking a nice crunchy bite, juice dribbling down my chin* Ha yeah... up here you can just pluck 'em straight off the tree. Heirloom varieties. This one's a Mutt & Jeff, and god you can actually TASTE them railing Al Capone's wife.
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Jan 11, 2022 19:26
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Rock hard r/n |
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Jan 12, 2022 16:55
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(Rob Thomas voice) I wanna take you for granite |
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Jan 12, 2022 16:56
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I'd ask her out if I were a boulder man |
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Jan 12, 2022 16:56
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I wish I were the wind because erode her 24/7 |
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Jan 12, 2022 17:05
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[experienced survivalist voice] Now when you stumble upon something like this, you're naturally going to want to stick your dick in the rock. Rookie mistake, that is just what the native Cock Scorpion has been waiting for.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:32
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I like big buttes and I cannot lie |
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Jan 12, 2022 20:17
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The Jugbird, cousin to the well-known bower-bird, also creates elaborate stages from forest materials such as twigs, leaves, and old issues of Hot Juggs Magazine in order to impress potential mates. Scientists' studies on what, exactly, constitutes a good or bad display are still inconclusive, but they have deduced that the quality of the porn within is paramount.
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Jan 12, 2022 21:22
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How Wonderful! posted:*pulling a Tijuana Bible out of my knapsack and taking a nice crunchy bite, juice dribbling down my chin* Lol
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Jan 13, 2022 15:43
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Haggard mountain man pacing through the woods with a shotgun hunting for meat for his starving family, strikes it lucky with a whole crate of 70s playboy. Yeehaw, my family won't go thirsty this winter! |
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Jan 13, 2022 16:36
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google THIS posted:I like big buttes and I cannot lie |
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Jan 13, 2022 22:10
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| # ? May 19, 2024 01:57 |
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you know i want to confirm something for everyone in case it's not clear in that finding porn in the woods was a real thing a factual thing i know because it happened to me it's me i'm the porn finder |
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Jan 21, 2022 21:44
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