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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



We had a painter doing the outside of our cottage who disappeared for over a year 'waiting for supplies'

He also washed.himself off at the end of a (2 hour) day with our dish sponge. And left paint marks on the fridge drops on the floor and somehow paint smudges on a picture frame in a bedroom

I was renting and couldn't give a poo poo about chasing him up.

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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



NotJustANumber99 posted:

They are all Schüco windows, specifically I think Schüco Window System AWS 70 SC.

The hinges say cotswold uk on them.





Things like this, which is on nearly every window, where theyve screwed the cill into the bottom of the unit, really annoy me.



buy a duster for godsake man

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



CancerCakes posted:

oh my god those windows are top openers put in sideways

I can't even

I just can't

They probably rotated the specs by accident

tbf an upright L is more sensible

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Gone from L to L

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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Jaded Burnout posted:

Mine was about a grand, fitted? Was extra wide too, for goon access. Fancy doors?

The hinge is in the middle

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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why have to copied the roofing of a mcdonalds you'd find in a retail park?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Saw a blue Tesla run a red light earlier and thought of you 99

e: wrong thread, still relevant

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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Only registered members can see post attachments!

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



CancerCakes posted:

Good tiliing job!

If you run out of tiles let me know, I have a couple of hundred of those.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Only registered members can see post attachments!

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:




that lovely arsenic woodtreatment aroma filling the lounge

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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That window near the chimney is going to get filthy fast, you know... until you break it again

but other than that it actually looks great

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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Can't ID from the photos, ash? Dieback is cataclysmic at the moment.

Great wood too, if it hasn't been felled using a digger.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Willows are pioneer species renowned for their survivalism. And still, you killed it.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Nice piece of fish posted:

Funny, just filed police charges on a developer for chopping down some ash trees. They probably would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for the fact that they went over the property line into the adjacent public park to knock down some of a preserved ash forest that particular municipality has a conservation effort on.

Sometimes tree law can be a lot of fun.

Bastards. It's a nice feeling catching them though, eh!

At my old job my life was largely dealing with tree drama, notably neighbouring houses thinking our nature reserve was their personal log supply.

Part of the site had a blanket TPO (tree protection order, likely what protected 99's trees). We got approval to take down some huge ash that were becoming potentially dangerous due to dieback. It came down beautifully so good wood, perfect for making some site furniture from. Overnight the main stem of the felled tree disappeared, but there was a lovely drag mark going up the track and then along the road and into a posh house, who absolutely shat themselves when we pointed out it was theft. He wrecked his car strapping the wood to the tow bar and dragging it home, so lol

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:




Ah the CIA blacksite look, very nice.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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NotJustANumber99 posted:

My updates are so boring now with no jokes.

:wrong:

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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This was the lol I come into the thread for.

The rest was genuinely lovely, sorry about the screeding 99

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

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He's an architect to build his house in the same way that I am a professional chef to microwave some beans

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



NotJustANumber99 posted:

That was just to win an argument with Bobby. I'm not a real architect but I have a degree in it.

not just a dipLoma?

heh heh heh

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Do you own the white Fiesta too? Since it has a picture of your house on it

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Party Boat posted:

Seems unnecessarily complex. Just use a couple of those lane switching junctions like they have in Macau:



You already have foundations rated for this scale of infrastructure so it should be a quick job

jfc

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



everdave posted:

They told me to build a foundation
That could support our entire nation
So I got to work very soon
And built the guys their own break room
But alas my truck got too hot!
A new engine is my need so I thought
Well maybe I should have inquired
Because none of these things were required and now here we are, posting from afar
While my subscribers keep clicking a fiver



builds character posted:

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou old and overheated piece of poo poo.
Chain winch doth shake the broken motor 'way,
And new placed replaced soon anew in bits.
Sometime too hot the radiator whines,
And coolant overheating bearings seize,
And RPM from revs sometime declines,
By misuse, maintenance foregone, final wheeze.
But thy horrendous SNAFUs shall not fade,
Nor blunders you, dishonest, disavow,
Nor time and paywall memory abrade,
When goldmined doth eternity endow
So long as engineering brain conceit,
Long life to hubris, folly, self deceit.



Bobby Deluxe posted:

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“A vast and L-shaped house of stone
Stands in the village... Near it, on the sand,
Not sunk, a great foundation lies, whose floor,
And heating track, and aerate bricks out fanned,
Tell that its builder well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The thread that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is not just a number, ninety nine;
Look on my house, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The surprisingly level foundations stretch far away.”

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



99 is the best poster on these forums.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



His Divine Shadow posted:

I've always preferred the safety system wherein you change society so it has less poverty and smaller income disparity, thereby reducing my chances of burglary.

there is no space for L shaped homes in your weird utopia

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:




The natural evolution of the goon basement

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Ah, so you are protected?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



freelop posted:

Huh we have those nest things in the house we just moved into. No instructions or info left behind so I mostly ignore them.

They make a dim glow in the hallway which is handy at 3am when going for a piss.

Why don't you just use the toilet?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



ffs

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Failed Imagineer posted:

If you're making GBS threads right angles

come on now, i don't think the OP is -that- obsessed

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Muir posted:

Nothing conveys your best regards like not bothering to include vowels.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Someone make that Windows 98 pipe screensaver but with 99's house, pls.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



WhatEvil posted:

Granted, yeah, tornadoes aren't a thing in the UK, and large hail isn't very common at all... but isn't that also true for the vast majority of the US and Canada?

Time to whip out my useless trivia, ahem, https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/most-tornadoes-by-area

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Holy gently caress, I didn't even notice lmao

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



WhatEvil posted:

ACKTSCHUALLY

Like yeah OK but in terms of tornadoes causing consequential damage, I have never noticed one in the UK. I'm sure they have happened but I've never seen one or known anybody who's been affected by one.

In Ottawa there was one like a year before we moved here and it wrecked tons of poo poo. A huge tree in my (now) house's garden got blown over, blocking the road, and the city told the then owner that he had to clear it within a day or get fined thousands of dollars for blocking the road.

One less tree for you to worry about

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Please do not assume dirt is a factor in the L house when NJAN99 can simply turn on the insane HVAC and suck up any dirt through that, and also asphyxiate any unwanted guests.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:




Pretty sensible choice to have earthquake damping if you ask me. When that famous south-east England faultline goes, you'll be laughing.

And if the fault line runs beneath your house, it won't happen anyway - your foundations have firmly clasped tectonic plates together.

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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Gravity Cant Apple posted:

Wow, I can't believe I finally caught up on this thread. What a ride.

To summarise:

https://i.imgur.com/1XdR2Or.mp4

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